IS THAT SNORING WE HEAR?

MISTAKE # 14

Taking the back seat in your own estate planning

NO ONE PLANS TO SIGN a will that isn’t quite right and we certainly aren’t suggesting that professionals who assist people in preparing their wills are at fault. But the frequency of not-quite-right provisions and even blatant mistakes in wills makes us realize that it is too easy to fall asleep when we should be most alert.

Every article and book on estate planning starts out by recommending that you consult with your own lawyer and accountant before acting on the ideas in the article or book. We agree with that advice.

And estate and trust professionals steer you away from using a handwritten will or a wills kit.

And we agree with that too: wills are best prepared by professionals and we will spend a few chapters explaining why that is.

But here are some essential points that you really need to remember when you retain a professional to assist you with your wills, as you should:

• No one knows your affairs and your life like you do.

• No one cares about your affairs and your estate planning like you do.

This may sound trite, but you are the “CEO” of your life and your professional advisors work for you, not the other way around. A CEO sets the strategy, provides guidance and makes the final decisions: even though your advisors bring expertise that you do not have, you still have the ultimate responsibility for your will and estate planning and you need to understand every clause of your documents.

• If you climb into the back seat and take a nap while you and your lawyer, accountant or team of professionals are collaborating on your will, it will not be as good as it should and could be.

This concept of taking responsibility for your estate planning is so important that we would like to repeat these points again but that would be annoying, so please just read them over one more time.

Time and again, both grieving relatives and trust professionals have been perplexed—after someone’s death—by one or more clauses in the deceased person’s will. They may say to themselves: What was she thinking? How could Uncle Joe have wanted that? Surely that is not what Mom meant to do? It doesn’t make sense!

Well, likely it doesn’t make sense and chances are that it did not make sense when the will was signed. But, somehow, some way, the error, big or small, purposeful or just a “miss,” made by a sole practitioner or a team of professionals from large firms, slipped through the cracks. Obviously there are some factors at work that we all need to be on guard for.

Consider these scenarios and whether they sound like possible traps for you in your estate-planning process:

• You have put off preparing a will, so once you start, you just want to get it over with and you don’t pay too much attention to it.

• You (consciously or not) try to keep an arm’s length from the subject matter, which of course is not very pleasant since it concerns your death.

• You are reluctant to ask your advisor to explain terms you don’t understand or to discuss complicated paragraphs that you think (hope!) reflect your verbal directions to the advisor, but you are really not sure if they do or not. The fact is, you are afraid you will be embarrassed because the lawyer or the accountant seems very smart and confident and they sure do seem to know their stuff.

• You hesitate to raise certain topics or concerns with either your spouse or your advisor because the area is a sensitive one or very private and you’d rather not get into it.

• Deep down inside you are quite sure that this won’t be your last will and you tell yourself that the next time you prepare a will you will pay more attention and address the niggling concerns on your mind.

We could go on, but you get the point. Avoidance thinking helps keep us sane and lets us enjoy life to the fullest: When we are savouring the eightcourse tasting menu on Valentine’s Day, we aren’t thinking about what the scale will say at Jenny Craig the next week. When we kindly volunteer to help out a sick friend, it is good to block out our New Year’s resolution to read 52 books in the year because our gift of time will blow the reading resolution for that week.

But will planning is high-stakes stuff, with a lot to lose if we’re successful at “faking it.” The more we can really sweat the details, and think carefully about the decisions we’re making and how they will really play out when we are dead, the better the chance we won’t leave our loved ones perplexed and saying, “Huh? Really?!”

In Jean’s experience, people who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness tend to focus most carefully on their wills. Sadly, very ill people know they don’t have licence to treat the process as an item on the to-do list along with redoing the hardwood floors. They know that this is their last will and they treat the process accordingly.

Think about it.

points to take away

• Even with the most talented lawyer to assist you, don’t forget who “owns” the will-planning process. Small and large errors, oversights and unnecessary complexities can lead to a will that is less than perfect, creating big problems later.

• Pay attention during the process, put yourself into the shoes of your loved ones after you are gone, and read through your draft will from that perspective. Ask yourself: does every clause make sense? Is it what I want?

• If it is appropriate for you in your family situation, openly discuss all of your concerns and worries with your spouse and family so that your will achieves your sincere intentions.

• Force yourself to ask questions of your advisors—there are really no stupid questions in this complex area of the law.