I was raised in an environment that was immersed in a poverty mentality. My father grew up poor, the kind of poor that most can never understand. It’s the stuff of novels and movies, Angela’s Ashes or The Glass Castle, often looked upon as something that only exists in stories.

My father’s mother died in childbirth, leaving him a bereft two-year-old without the benefit of any softness in his world. His was a childhood filled with fear; the monster in the closet that threatened to tear him limb from limb. He had no one to soothe or calm his terrors.

He brought that fear into our family; the stripped-down, sinewy, gnawing monster that now hid in my closet, the unseen terror that I may end up alone, broke, living on the streets with nothing and no one.

The dark shadow of a poverty mentality followed me into adulthood where I would fear getting fired from every job, dread the phone bills that Damien and I would rack up, inevitably, our need for connection trumping my ability to manage the steep premium it cost.

Fast forward to 2019. I made a pact with God.

Having let the locusts feed on my soul for far too long, I was bound to rise above it. If a caterpillar could do it, then so could I. Never being one for New Year’s resolutions, it was with surprise that I sat down with a paper and pen to create a memorialized promise that I would no longer fear lack.

For me, this meant giving 10 percent of our income to the place(s) I received inspiration; to the teachers or institutions that enabled me to grow spiritually.

Starting out was scary. There were times I couldn’t see a way out—tax bills looming, a visit to the emergency room in an era when insurance was scarce, unexpected bills. And yet, I refused to give in to fear, sometimes waking in the night, the icy, cold threat of lack staring me in the face, and I could only come back to “be still and know that I am God.”

My dark time lasted for a long time; nothing was happening. I was doing the work, and yet I wasn’t seeing the light. I couldn’t see anything changing on the material plane.

What was working in the spiritual realm was something quite different. As each bill or need loomed, there came a saving grace—a job or an opportunity would arise and we’d be okay.

I can now say that hard kernel of fear has been dissolved. I trust God will fulfill our every need and provide far more than I can even imagine—not only in material things, but in the room I have in my heart for love, patience, forgiveness, and joy. Fear eats away all the space, and I’m done with it—its lease is up.

The most surprising aspect of this work, when you finally get on the other side of it, is that you realize whatever it is that requires work becomes your teacher. I can now look lack right in the face and thank it for all it has taught me. It’s banished from my soul, and I’ve sent it on its way, but I bless it, even as I bid it adieu: “Don’t let the screen door hit your ass on your way out.”

I learned this technique from the magickal author Damon Brand.

• When fear of lack arises, call upon an archangel or other spiritual entity. This can be as simple as saying their name or bringing them to mind.
• Speak with them about the lack you’ve endured. Really unburden yourself.
• Then speak of what you will do with the prosperity that will come into your life.

It only takes a minute, but the excitement created in that tiny fraction of time when you switch over from the feeling of lack to the feeling of abundance creates great excitement—and that is where the alchemy comes in. It is transmutation of one state of being to another, a tiny explosion of energy.