Now that you have a better idea how to recognize your people when you meet them and how to build a strong team around you, let’s talk about finding your place in the world: the right seat on the bus, or the right spot in the wall, where you fit. After all, we are living stones, not dead bricks. Therefore, there is a divinely designed place in the wall where only you can fit.
One of the difficulties in becoming fully actualized occurs when you find yourself in a community that doesn’t have the capacity or vision to collaborate with your calling. For example, if you want to be an actress, it might be good to move to Hollywood rather than stay in a community without the resources or opportunities to nurture an acting career. If you are called to be a singer, maybe Nashville is the place for you. New York is a great place to become a model, and Silicon Valley might be the best place for a high-tech start-up. But moving to Silicon Valley to pursue a career in modeling is probably a bad idea. Conversely, it might be tough to start a tech company in Hollywood. Although these examples are in no way absolutes, they serve to paint a picture of the collaboration that takes place when we discover our people and find our promised land, while also illustrating what happens when we try to fulfill our callings in the wrong community.
Am I saying that you could be in a community of people who have your DNA but still can’t carry your vision? Yes! You could be with the right types of people but living in the wrong land, a place that can’t support your mission.
Before you get frustrated or confused, let’s look at an example of the way an environment helps to actualize a specific people group with a specific vision. In the book of Joshua when Joshua entered the promised land and defeated its inhabitants, he was instructed by God to distribute the land by tribe and by division. Each tribe of Israel was given a specific place by God (not just random acreage), which meant that each piece of land was given to a tribe, to a certain people group, and then to divisions within the tribe.
What might this look like for us? I like to think of the word division as di-vision or diverse-visions. The word tribe would refer to our people (as in finding the right people), and the word di-vision would be our missions in life (the roles we play amongst our people). We then need to find the place (our specific piece of the promised land) that will support our God-given missions.
Caleb’s Hill Country
Joshua gave his good friend, Caleb, the first pick of the land. In Joshua 14:7, 10–12 Caleb said,
I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh-barnea to spy out the land, and I brought word back to him as it was in my heart. . . . Now behold, the Lord has let me live, just as He spoke, these forty-five years, from the time that the Lord spoke this word to Moses, when Israel walked in the wilderness; and now behold, I am eighty-five years old today. I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me. . . . Now then, give me this hill country about which the Lord spoke on that day, for you heard on that day that [giant men called] Anakim were there, with great fortified cities; perhaps the Lord will be with me, and I will drive them out as the Lord has spoken.
I would like to point out that Caleb belonged to the tribe of Judah. Judah, as a tribe, was given a vast amount of land. The borders of their land are described in Joshua 15. Of that land, Caleb was given Hebron (the hill country). Not everyone in the tribe of Judah shared Caleb’s vision, even though all of them had the same DNA. That’s why the land had to be divided up by tribe and by division (di-vision). The tribe had enough flexibility to allow for diverse visions inside the same core perspectives and worldview.
Caleb’s vision was to defeat the remaining giants in the promised land; therefore, Joshua gave him the division of land that would fulfill his divine mission in life. Caleb received the land where the Anakim dwelled, the land of the giants!
The Right Land
Caleb was a warrior; therefore, he received land that was compatible with his vision. On the other hand, the sons of Reuben, the sons of Gad, and the sons of Manasseh had a large number of livestock. When they saw that the land of Jazer and the land of Gilead were great places for livestock, Gad and Reuben asked Moses for that land. (Moses had given these tribes their land before Joshua was put in charge). Moses didn’t particularly like the idea because it was on the wilderness side of the river and was technically not the promised land. Eventually, Moses agreed to their request but insisted that they still cross the Jordan River and join forces with the rest of their brothers to help them conquer the promised land (Numbers 32). It’s true that one man’s promised land can somehow become another man’s problem!
When shepherds are forced to cross over into the land best suited for warriors, their destinies are put at risk (unless you’re King David, of course, who was a shepherd and a warrior) because people have very little grace for things they are not called to do and places that don’t fit their destinies. How frustrating and unsuccessful following Caleb would have been for farmers who were forced to plant crops on the side of a mountain where the giants lived. They would never be satisfied because the land they were forced to occupy didn’t support their vision.
If you are anything like me, you know many people who are much more successful in the Kingdom than yourself, and yet they don’t put forth nearly the effort you do. I used to think these people were just a lot more gifted and talented than I am. Of course, this is true at times; but more often than not, they have simply found their sweet spot in life. They are warriors in a land of giants or shepherds in fertile grazing grounds. They are experiencing the synergistic and catalytic nature of the triune manifestation of the right people, with the same vision, in the perfect place.
Leaving Your Father’s House
When you find yourself in the wrong place, despite being with the right people with the same vision, you must be willing to reevaluate whether God is calling you to a new, more fitting location or community. When Kathy and I left Weaverville we were both torn inside. We had spent twenty years in that small community building friendships and loving people. We had built a house in the woods and developed seven businesses in our town. We were woven into the fabric of every aspect of that city. Not only that, but Kathy and I were the senior leaders of Mountain Chapel, which really struggled when Bill and Beni left for Redding. We had installed Danny and Sheri Silk as the pastors of the church, but they were social workers who had never pastored a church before. Needless to say, their learning curve was pretty steep.
Kathy and I both wanted to be with Bill, but we also didn’t want to leave our community of friends with whom we had grown so close. Then one day I realized that much like Abram and Sarai, who had to leave their country to follow God (Genesis 12), we had to let go of our community, our church, and our friends to fulfill our God-given destiny.
There are many reasons why you may choose to stay in “your father’s house” instead of finding your promised land. Probably the most common reason is that you haven’t yet found your people or your promised land, so you feel stuck. I certainly understand this. Kathy and I lived in San Jose, California, when we got married. We had great jobs, money in the bank, and a brand new house. More important, all of our family lived within thirty minutes of us. Outwardly we were living a dream, but inwardly we knew that we had to leave the place where we grew up to find the place we could grow in God. We didn’t know where to go even though we knew where we couldn’t stay.
If you are anything like Kathy and me, you might not know where you are headed, but you live with a deep longing for more. You know you can’t stay where you are and still satisfy the intense passion within you. I would encourage you to consider following God with your whole heart and trusting Him to lead you. I find that there are times when the Lord is a “lamp to my feet” (Psalm 119:105). He only shows the next step. The main lesson in this season is to learn to trust Him with your destiny.
SOMETIMES THE HOLY SPIRIT IS YOUR COMPASS, AND OTHER TIMES HE IS YOUR ROAD MAP.
Then there are other times when He is a “light to my path” (Psalm 119:105). I love it when the Lord shows me the path that reveals my destiny. Path revelations bring clarity and, consequently, meaning to the daily steps of life. So sometimes the Holy Spirit is your compass, and other times He is your road map. Whatever season you are in, He will guide you to your destiny and lead you into all truth.
Another reason why you might struggle with leaving could be that you feel obligated to stay in a church or a community, even though it’s stifling you. It’s common for people who love you to try to convince you to stay with them. Although most of them mean well, sometimes they use manipulation to try to stop you from going. Manipulation produces guilt (you owe us your life), shame (you have selfish motives for leaving), and fear (something terrible will happen if you go).
I don’t want to be misunderstood here: I am not talking about walking away from your spouse and children in the name of following God! That’s a perversion (the wrong version) of truth. Breaking up a family to “follow Jesus” is complete stupidity that only leads to pain and destruction. It bears no semblance to our Lord’s covenant kingdom. I am referring to people outside of your immediate family who either refuse to move on in God or find themselves on a very different life journey than your own.
Leaving a community must be prayerfully and wisely considered. Jesus was emphatic about not allowing your loyalties to people to undermine your covenant with Christ. I still cringe at the difficulty of His exhortation when He boldly proclaimed, “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me” (Matthew 10:37–38).
I am inclined to explain away the sting of Jesus’ words. Yet I am compelled to exhort you to embrace the pain (if indeed His words are painful to you), examine your journey, and boldly go where the Lord is leading you.