Noah waits for Grace on Lee’s front steps. Mason is asleep. He still can’t believe that he and Grace are meeting under these circumstances. They need a plan—a tell-Mason-his-mom-is-dead script. He can’t fend off the questions much longer—where his mother is, why she’s not back, why he hasn’t talked to her.
Grace kills her headlights before pulling into the drive. Noah rushes down the steps to meet her. He wraps her in his arms and kisses the top of her head.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs.
Slowly, he lowers to his knees and gently palms her belly. Grace holds him there, his hair in her fingers. His left ear presses against the dome of her stomach and listens for life, even though he knows it’s too early. He releases her waist and stands. Ever since she found out she’s pregnant, there’s been no excitement—only cautious optimism. What would a loss like this do to her? To them? Finally, he eases her back toward the steps, which are cool and hard beneath his jeans.
“I just can’t believe a few days ago, she was here, and now she’s not, and … I just don’t even know. God, I’m so tired. I feel so responsible.” Grace drops her face in both palms.
“It’s not your fault.” He rubs her back.
She looks at him. “But if I hadn’t left her out there.”
“Don’t do that.” He slides his hand to the step behind her and sighs. “It won’t help anything. Trust me.” He knows the blame game all too well. He still plays it with Wyatt’s suicide all these years later, no matter how many times he’s been told it wasn’t his fault.
“I still feel responsible.” She wipes away smeared mascara.
“I know.” It’s all he can say because he does know. Nothing he tells her is going to change the way she feels.
“We have to tell Mason.”
He nods. “We do.”
“And then what?” Grace sighs. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
Noah pushes away the aftermath of his own brother’s death, all of the logistics, the funeral, and what came after. “When a parent dies, it becomes about legal guardianship and not custody.” He pauses, unsure how to frame his next statement. “Unless the biological father were to come forward.”
Grace emits a short, harsh laugh. “He won’t.”
He looks at her, surprised. “Are you sure? Because if he knew what happened, he might step up and take responsibility.”
“No.” Grace shakes her head. “The father won’t come forward.”
Noah lets that information sink in. “How do you know?”
“Because she told me. She told me who the father is.”
Noah bristles. He runs through every conversation he and Lee have ever shared, but she never alluded to who Mason’s dad was. Despite the tragic situation, he’s still curious. “Who is it?”
She sighs. “She doesn’t know.”
“Whoa.” He thinks about the Lee he knows. He can’t imagine her sleeping around with some guy and not knowing who got her pregnant.
“I don’t want to talk about that right now.” There is an edge to her voice. “I just want to talk about logical next steps. I need to know exactly what to do and in what order.”
“Hey, it’s fine.” He rubs her back again. “I understand this is a lot.”
“I’ve got the guardianship papers. I have a copy of her will.”
“Wait, you’ve got guardianship papers?” he asks in surprise. “How?”
She glances at him, her face drawn. “Because she named me as Mason’s legal guardian should something happen to her.”
Noah registers this new information and feels immense relief that Mason will be with Grace. That he will be with both Grace and Mason. That, in essence, he will become Mason’s guardian too. They haven’t talked about being together forever, but with Grace’s pregnancy and the hope of their future … it makes sense. “That will make it a lot easier. Because Lee signed papers, it should be a simple procedure. We’ll set a court date. They will name you as his legal guardian, and everything should run smoothly. No pushback or anything.” He clears his throat. “I know his sessions are expensive. His therapy, all of that. We can discuss alternatives if you like?”
“I don’t care about money. I just want what’s best for him. I don’t want to disrupt his life or routine.” Grace looks at him under the porch lights, her eyes glistening. “How are we going to do all this? We’re having a baby. I have a kid from another man. And now I’m about to take on the responsibility of another child who just lost his mother?”
“I know.” He pulls her close and kisses her temple. “But I’ll be with you every step of the way. You know that.”
“Will you?” Grace searches his face. “I get it if you don’t want to stick around for this, Noah. No one expects you to. It’s a lot to ask. Plus, you have other families and responsibilities.”
“What are you talking about? We’re having a baby together. I’m in this.” Noah works something out in his head. The future. The boys. The baby. Them. The thought of asking Grace to marry him flits across his mind, but he knows now is not the time. “Grace, you are my family. We’re in this together.”
Her entire body seems to relax. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Because out of everyone, Mason loves you the most.”
Something aims and fires in his gut. “I’m not sure about that. His bond with you is pretty incredible.”
She exhales. “How’s he been doing the past few days without her?”
“He’s wondering why he hasn’t spoken to her, and why it’s been longer than she said.”
“Ugh.” Grace moans. “We should tell him as soon as possible.” She fiddles with a stick she plucks from the steps and sweeps the branch back and forth in front of her. “We have no idea what we’re really in for, do we?”
“Not really. But it will be okay.”
“Poor Mason. My heart is just breaking for him.”
“I know.” He hesitates and decides to continue. “I know you have the papers, Grace, but I would suggest thinking really long and hard about this.”
“About what?”
“The guardianship. Becoming a parent to Mason is going to change your life. You and Luca have a rapport, a routine, your ups and downs, and your little traditions. But all that will change.”
Grace studies him. He can’t tell what she’s thinking, but he knows that having a baby will essentially do the same thing. A baby will change their lives. Having permanent custody of Mason will change their lives. Her best friend dying will change their lives. It already has.
She wipes a tear from her cheek. “It’s not up for discussion.”
He nods. “I wasn’t saying it was up for discussion. I was just saying there are other options if you need them.”
She whips her head toward him. “Like what? Giving him to a stranger? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Hey, calm down. That’s not what I meant.” He’s thrown by her clipped tone, but he knows she is hormonal, tired, and devastated. “All I’m saying is that it’s normal to think things through.”
“I have. I’m taking him.” She stares straight ahead into the night, and he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
“That’s an amazing, selfless thing. He’s very lucky.”
She moves closer to him on the steps. Lee sat like this, just days ago, scared to go on her trip. Scared of what might happen in her absence. And now her best friend is in her place, scared of what to do next.
Finally, her body softens and she glances at him. “I know she’d be happy to know you’re here with him. With us.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Noah pieces together all the information they will have to tackle over the next few days: the logistics of the house, the funeral, telling Mason, the aftermath, making sure Grace stays healthy … It is a lot, but he’s been here before. He survived Wyatt’s death.
He knows he’ll survive this too.