by Dave Bernard
Dave Bernard is not yet retired but has begun his due diligence to plan for a satisfying retirement. With a focus on the nonfinancial aspects of retiring, he is a weekly contributor to the U.S. News & World Report “On Retirement” blog and shares his discoveries and insights on his personal blog, Retirement — Only the Beginning.
Say it isn’t so. Out walking this morning, I glanced down at my short-pant-clad legs and saw something I had not noticed before. The last time I looked at my legs, I remember seeing nicely toned, could-be-a-little-more-tanned thighs holding me up. Today, I swear I saw the legs of an “older” man. Nothing drastic but you know how the skin seems to have been overstretched just a bit and is not clinging as tightly to the muscles beneath? Then it dawned on me — I am getting older, not just on the inside but on the outside as well.
How was it possible for aging to catch up with me? I have been an exercise fanatic since college and even today have a regular routine. I ride the stationary bike three to four times a week, lift weights twice a week, and do yoga twice a week. On the weekends, my wife and I take a long walk in the nearby hills or on the beach. We eat very well (avoiding fat and salt), go organic whenever we can, and do not overeat. Sure, we are both over 50 now, but what the heck! I guess when it comes to aging, you can run but you cannot hide.
Fortunately, I have always been a realist. I accept the facts for what they are and go with the flow. This aging thing is just another part of my life, and I need to realize and accept that fact. Aside from the physical aspects (I will miss my young legs), I realize there are many positives that have come with my advancing years and varied experiences:
1. Appreciate your accomplishments. I have successfully raised two wonderful children who make me proud each time we interact. Each has grown into a young adult filled with those values that are important in life and critical to their continuing happiness. Had I not grown “older” (not old), I would not have been with them each step of the way, helping where needed, encouraging on occasion, and admiring their progress often. I would not change any of it for the world.
2. Never stop learning. Friends and family may quickly point out that I have a ways to go, but I have been learning along the way. I know not to sweat the little things but instead to accept that not everything will go the way I want, nor necessarily should it. I have learned the immeasurable value of my family, who have been with me through numerous difficult times, supporting and loving me. Without them, I would not be the person I am today (or maybe even here today). I realize that it is okay to cry, because if you feel like crying, there is a reason. I have learned that my wife is my best friend, my confidant, consciously blind to my faults, always there when I need her. I have learned that money does not make the moment nor buy happiness — that can only be found within you. Wisdom truly does come with age to the extent that we have experienced the ups and downs of many years lived, learned from those experiences, and incorporated that knowledge into our daily lives. It did not kill us, so it must have made us stronger!
3. Find your passion. Pursuing a passion is what ultimately makes each day worth living. I realize that I have worked 30 years at various jobs to make a living. Although a worthwhile, noble pursuit, earning a living is not always inspirational, and it is often the exception rather than the rule that I arise with the excitement, energy, and urge to get to it. I am not complaining — I did what I had to do, met some wonderful people along the way, participated in the growth of multiple companies, and survived. But my advice to those starting down the employment path or still early in their careers is to find your passion. It is far better to start your day wanting to get going, anxious to do what you love, and be a force to be dealt with. Things don’t always work out exactly the way you planned the first time, or even the second, but being passionate about what you are doing can in itself drive a stubborn refusal to quit. If you do what you love, the money will follow. And even if it is not a fortune, don’t trade your happiness for the promise of a big bank account. In retired life, as in the working world, it is important to have passions to pursue each day to give you a reason to get out of bed and expectantly face the new day.
4. Live today. I cannot change the past, I do not know what the future holds, so my best bet is to live in this present moment. My aim is to focus on today, now, and live it fully. It is up to me to actively participate in and enjoy my retirement life, now. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, so don’t wait.
As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heartis developed.
— Vincent van Gogh
Life is a journey, and our faithful travel companion through it all is our aging mind and body. We can attempt to prepare for the trip with maps and well-laid plans and hopeful wishes, but the road ultimately leads where it will. The best way to enjoy the trip is to appreciate each moment, each new sight and sound and feeling. Live, learn, love, and keep going. Who knows what lies beyond the next sunrise?