Jessica untangled her bra from her sweater and dumped both of them on the chair next to the bed. She unfastened her jeans and was about to remove them when the light from the oil lamp invaded the nearly dark room. She turned toward Dylan. Her heartbeat jumped. He wore only his briefs. The illumination highlighted his handsome features, the well-defined planes of his chest and his long, muscular legs. A tremor of anticipation darted up her spine and swirled around inside her.
He set the lamp on the nightstand along with the packets he had taken from Justin’s nightstand. He turned down the wick until only a soft glow remained. Even in the dim light she could see the passion and excitement in his eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders, then lightly trailed his fingers down her arms.
“Are you sure about this, Jessica?” He couldn’t still the quaver in his voice or the nervous jitter that attacked his insides. He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted her. “I don’t want you to feel like you were being unfairly coerced or—”
“I’m very sure.”
In fact, she had never been so sure of anything in her entire life as she was at that moment. His hands ran up her rib cage, coming to rest just below her breasts. Little shivers of excitement rippled across her skin in the wake of his touch. An intoxicating fervor assailed her senses, pushing her desires beyond anything she had ever experienced to a whole new level.
He sat on the edge of the bed, his gaze slowly drinking her in—the sparkle in her eyes, her slightly parted lips, the firm curve of her breasts. A low moan escaped his throat as he kissed each of her puckered nipples. He couldn’t stop the huskiness that clung to his words. “You are absolutely exquisite.”
Dylan ran the tip of his tongue from the base of her throat down to the valley between her breasts while tugging her jeans past her hips to the floor. She stepped out of them, shoving them aside with her foot. He drew her nipple into his mouth and gently suckled while caressing her back. His fingers ran across her bare skin moving lower and lower. He eased one hand inside her panties and cupped the roundness of her bottom. A moment later he slid the panties down her legs to the floor.
He placed a soft kiss between her breasts, then captured her other nipple and held it in his mouth. He savored the texture with his tongue, the experience enhanced when she wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. A low moan of pleasure filled the air. He thought it was his, but it felt as if it came from her. Either way, he knew what was about to happen would be something very special because Jessica was very special.
He fell backward onto the bed taking her with him, holding her body tightly on top of his. The warmth of his skin heated her desires. Once again his tongue ran along the edge of her lower lip, then brushed against hers. The moan of delight caught in her throat. Her entire body tingled with excitement. She responded fully and without reservation to each and every tantalizing sensation he created.
She tugged at his briefs, desperately wanting them out of the way. She had never been so brazen, so aggressive, especially with someone who was still a stranger to her in many ways. His hand brushed against hers when he arched his hips up from the bed and accomplished what she had been attempting. He yanked away the last remaining physical barrier between them.
Bare skin pressed against bare skin along the length of their bodies. Their combined intensity filled the room with a heightened degree of sensual electricity. They had an entire night ahead of them in which to indulge their desires, yet each seemed consumed by a nearly out-of-control urgency.
Dylan again captured her mouth with an all-consuming kiss that left nothing hidden. He skimmed his hands along the length of her torso then tickled his fingers across the sensitive skin of her inner thigh drawing ever closer to the core of her sexual being. Every contact enhanced his already-overstimulated desire for her. He brushed his fingers through the downy softness between her thighs then penetrated her moist heat.
A wave of ecstasy shot through Jessica’s body. She arched her hips toward his hand, the intimate physical contact sending a swirl of euphoria around her, blotting out everything except the deep physical pleasure building inside her. She ran her hand along his thigh, then stroked his hardened arousal. She felt the low growl in his chest as much as heard it. Her ragged breathing came in hard gasps as the sensations built, layer upon layer.
As much as he wanted to savor each and every sensation—her gentle yet insistent touch as she stroked his manhood, her unbridled response to his ministrations—he knew his faltering control would not allow it. No one had ever excited him to the level where she did. He reached to the nightstand for one of the packets and quickly secured the condom.
Dylan rolled her over onto her back, then settled his body over hers. He gently probed at the entrance of her womanhood, then froze as a hard tremor of panic hit him. He had never been plagued by doubts before, but this time the emotional magnitude of what was about to happen pulled hard at his reality. He recaptured her mouth, as much to drive away his fears as to revel in the pleasure of her taste.
He thrust forward, completing the tangible connection between them. The moment her feminine folds closed around his hardness was the moment he knew something very profound had happened, but something he couldn’t quite define. It scared him as much as it excited him. He set a smooth rhythm, immediately losing himself in the pure physical pleasure of their coupling.
Jessica arched her hips to meet each of his downward strokes. He filled her both physically and emotionally, erasing her few remaining concerns about whether she was doing the right thing. Nothing had ever felt so right in her entire life. And no one had ever touched her soul as deeply as he did.
They moved together in harmony, their pace escalating with each stroke until the convulsions claimed her in an all-consuming burst of rapture. She threw her head back into the pillow, breaking the intensity of the kiss. She gasped for air. The waves of euphoria washed over her as her arms and legs wrapped tightly around his body.
Dylan had reached the limit of his tenuous control when her fulfillment resonated to him. He gave one final deep plunge. The hard spasms shuddered through his body. He held her tightly in his arms and buried his face in her hair, desperate to make sure any errant thoughts would not be verbalized. He did not want to say what he was feeling, did not want to acknowledge just how emotionally involved he had become with Jessica McGuire.
He gulped in a lungful of air as the spasms subsided. He brushed a loose tendril of hair away from her damp cheek, replacing it with a soft kiss. He continued to hold her in his arms while trying to bring control to his ragged breathing. He had never had anything hit him quite as hard as the implications of having made love with Jessica. He had suffered a quick bout of anxiety earlier, but now it had become full-blown panic. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his thoughts…and his fears.
Jessica snuggled into his embrace. She had never experienced anything like Dylan Russell. He made her heart sing and elevated her level of intensity to the point where it made a mockery of her orderly sense of things. He filled her with so much emotion that it truly frightened her. And intermingled with all of that was the word love. She wasn’t sure where the word had come from or what to do about it, but she couldn’t deny its existence.
He was the last person she should be having those thoughts about, but they refused to go away. Did she dare to hope that she would be able to erase his negative thoughts about a permanent relationship? That she could be the one to capture Dylan Russell’s heart and keep it? Her euphoria became tempered by concerns and doubts. She chose to set aside everything except the here and now—the warmth, caring and protection he folded around her as he held her in his arms, gently stroking her skin and hair. She closed her eyes and allowed his sensual touch to lull her to sleep.
Her deep, even breathing accompanied the gentle rise and fall of her breasts. Never had anything affected him like making love with Jessica. She had literally turned his world inside out and left him grasping for explanations and reality. The strong emotions surging through his consciousness were unlike any he had ever experienced, including those he thought was love for his ex-fiancée. Did he dare consider the possibility of this being the start of a very deep and real love? The full-blown implications scared him to death.
The haunting fears that had lived inside him since the day he was left at the altar continued to plague him. And to that ongoing emotional burden had been added the trauma of his life seeming to unravel before his eyes. He looked at the sleeping Jessica, and his heart swelled with the deep feelings he had for her. How many more changes in his life could he handle with everything being thrown at him at once? And more important, how could he expect anyone else to share that life when everything around him was so unsettled?
He kissed her on the forehead, then sank into the bed with his arms wrapped around her. He closed his eyes and tried to force the doubts and fears from his mind. Now he was even more troubled about his future than he had been when he arrived at the cabin. This time his concerns included Jessica McGuire and the role she would play in his life. A troubled sleep finally claimed him.
Dylan watched Jessica as she slept. The early-morning light filtered in through the bedroom windows, falling across her sleeping form. It highlighted the delicate features of her face and revealed the enticing curves of her body. Her long, dark lashes rested against her upper cheek, and her blond hair feathered softly over her forehead. A tightness pulled across his chest in conflict with the strong emotions that welled inside him. He had never seen anyone more beautiful or desirable in his life. A little tickle of panic stabbed at him telling him it was far more than merely physical desire that had captured his senses.
He glanced over to the nightstand, to the three empty condom packets. Two more times that night they had made love, each time more exciting than the previous—the most recent only three hours ago. And each time left him more fearful of where things were headed and how deeply he had already become involved with her. She filled that emptiness inside him, that place that had long cried out for something but he hadn’t known what…until now.
He pressed his lips softly against her cheek. An involuntary sigh of contentment reverberated through his body, followed by a shiver of apprehension. He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her body against his, being careful not to wake her. The feel of her bare skin against his immediately renewed the desires that had been simmering just below the surface. If their night of lovemaking had done nothing else it had told him that he would never have enough of her, that he would always want more. She was like an intoxicating substance, and he was totally addicted.
An anxious tremor cut short his time of quiet reflection. He hadn’t really given any thought to what she might be expecting from him. Would she assume a commitment for the future? It was a consideration he hadn’t had to face before, not with the women he was accustomed to being with. They all knew what the score was, and it didn’t include any type of commitment or promises. But Jessica…he didn’t know what to expect with her. He wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted, either. He knew what he didn’t want. He did not want to lose her. He did not want their lives to take separate paths.
Jessica stirred awake, stretching her legs and arms while arching her back. His rapidly escalating desires pushed his concerns aside. He rolled her body over on top of his, tickled his fingertips lightly across her bare bottom, then settled her hips against his. Her soft moan, accompanied by a sexy smile, sent a wave of excitement rippling through his body. He nibbled tenderly on her earlobe, then at the corners of her mouth. A low growl made its way out of his throat when she ran her foot along his calf.
The thick remnants of sleep clung to his voice. “Good morning.” He brushed a soft kiss against her lips. “Did you have a good night’s sleep?” He slid his hand to her inner thigh while extending a wry smile. “Do you feel well rested?”
“Mmm…” She moved her hips just enough to let him know she was fully aware of his arousal. “That’s a leading question.”
His whispered words tickled across her ear. “In case my lecherous intentions somehow eluded you…” He cupped the rounded globes of her buttocks and pulled her hips tightly against his as he captured her mouth with a quick yet sensual kiss.
“I don’t think anything about you has eluded me.” A shiver of desire told her how deeply his touch affected her. As much as the idea of making love again appealed to her, she tried to put forth a more logical and sensible agenda. “Don’t you think we should be thinking about getting out of bed?”
He wrapped his arms around her, caressing her back and shoulders. He kissed her cheek, his manner and tone conveying his teasing intention. “Not me. I’d be content to stay right here all day….” His words trailed off as his expression turned serious. “As long as you agreed to stay here with me.”
“That’s a very tempting offer,” she took a steadying breath in an attempt to calm her highly stimulated desires, “but I think we’d better check the weather conditions and see if we can get to the market for some groceries.”
He kissed her tenderly on the lips. “I suppose you’re right.”
Each hurried to shower and dress. He made coffee while she fixed the last of the breakfast supplies he had brought with him. The news on the radio said the bridge had been reopened. It provided a sobering moment. They were no longer stranded, either of them could leave. As if having silently agreed in advance, neither of them mentioned that possibility. They made quick work of breakfast, then took her car and went to the market for supplies. By midmorning they had finished with all the necessities.
Dylan took her hand in his. “What would you say to a nice walk in the woods?”
“That sounds like a terrific idea.”
They walked along the trail hand in hand, comfortable with the silence and content just to be together.
Jessica allowed her thoughts to wander to what it would be like to live with the excitement of Dylan Russell as a permanent part of her life—to wake up each morning with him at her side and go to bed each night wrapped in his arms. What she felt was far more than just physical attraction…she was beginning to believe it really was love.
She managed to suppress the grin that tugged at the corners of her mouth when she thought about Justin finding his supply of condoms not as plentiful as they had been. She glanced up at Dylan and was about to share her amusement over the condoms when she noticed the pensive expression on his face.
A little tremor of apprehension darted through her body. Were the concerns she saw written across his features about her? About their night of making love? Another touch of panic pushed at her. Had she fallen into a trap from which there was no escape? Had she fallen in love with a man who would end up breaking her heart? She tried to shove the uneasy feelings aside, to return to the euphoria that had enveloped her when she woke that morning.
She squeezed his hand to get his attention. “You look like something’s bothering you.” She took a calming breath and asked the question she wasn’t really sure she wanted an answer to. “Anything you’d like to share?”
He stopped walking and stared at her for a moment, not sure exactly how to respond to her question. He leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her lips. The thoughts had been circulating through his mind along with a growing need to be able to share his inner turmoil with someone. His words were hesitant at first. “Yes…I think I would like to share it with you.”
Dylan sat on a large rock, scooting back to make room for Jessica to sit in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her, snuggling her into his body so that her back rested against his chest. He took a steadying breath to curb the anxiety growing inside him. It was a story he had thought he would never tell anyone, but he wanted Jessica to know what happened. He wanted her to know about Rose and Stanley Clarkson.
“This is very difficult for me to talk about, so please bear with me.” He rested his cheek against the top of her head. “It all started about a year ago.” A little shiver of anxiety darted down his spine. “I was in London. I had just closed a very tricky and personally profitable deal and was celebrating with the investment group. There were about ten of us having dinner and drinking champagne. This couple came into the restaurant, and one of the people at the table knew them. He called them over and introduced me to Rose and Stanley Clarkson. They were in their early sixties and from Florida. He was semiretired and had made his money in commercial real estate. They were enjoying an extended stay in London that had started as a fortieth-anniversary vacation trip.
“They joined us and I found myself becoming friends with them, at first just casually getting together for the occasional dinner. They had sublet an apartment, and our relationship eventually evolved into a personal one with my being their houseguest whenever I was in London. They grew to be almost like surrogate parents for me. They provided a comfortable atmosphere where I could relax and just be me…something I had not been able to do for a long time.”
He paused as a moment of sadness swept over him. A lump formed in his throat. He knew talking about it was going to be difficult, but he hadn’t realized just how much until the words started coming out of his mouth. He brushed a gentle kiss against her cheek. She reached up and clasped his hand, holding it against her chest. A subtle warmth filtered through his consciousness. He forged ahead with what he wanted to tell her—what he felt he needed to tell her.
“I’ve always made it a point to do business only with people who I knew could afford the financial risk. When you’re dealing in highly speculative investments there’s always a chance that something can go wrong. I’ve also made it a point not to do business with friends except for a few rare instances when I knew the people involved were able to separate personal and business.
“I really didn’t know what the Clarksons’ financial situation was, other than the outer trappings of maintaining an apartment in London in addition to a home in Florida. Stanley had mentioned on several occasions that he had some money set aside that he would be willing to invest if I had something I thought would be good. Then, almost by accident, I had a deal dumped in my lap that seemed like it would be perfect for them.
“I talked to Stanley and Rose about it, making sure they both thoroughly understood the risks involved. I had known the Clarksons for about six months by then, and we had become very close, much more so than I had thought possible. But when they handed me that check an ominous feeling came over me, almost like a voice telling me not to take it. I nearly backed out of the deal at the last minute.”
A little sigh of resignation escaped his throat before he could stop it. “I wish I’d listened to that voice, because a few weeks later the deal fell apart. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Everything was aboveboard and honest. It was just one of those things that happen in the world of high-risk business ventures, and everyone accepts the possibility. But this time it was different. This time I had become personally involved with one of the investors.”
Dylan shifted his weight, more in an effort to try to shake loose the tension that had started to build inside him. It didn’t help. He nudged Jessica forward onto her feet then stood up. He clasped her hand in his and they started walking again. He needed some sort of physical activity to ward off the pent-up tension.
She looked at him questioningly. “Are you okay?” She squeezed his hand. “I can feel the tension running through you.”
He returned the squeeze. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that I’ve never told anyone about this before and…well, I’m finding it a little difficult to talk about it.” A soft feeling of closeness enveloped him when she rested her head against his shoulder as they walked along the trail.
He continued telling her about the Clarksons, wanting to get it all out before it overwhelmed him. “By keeping a personal distance from those I was doing business with I had been able to develop an immunity to the emotional repercussions of a business deal that went sour. On those few occasions when it happened, I would simply tell the investors that the deal had fallen through and explain as best I could exactly why and what had happened, then I would move on. It was all cut-and-dried.
“But nothing had prepared me for the reality of having to tell Stanley and Rose that their money was gone. My gut twisted into a thousand knots, and I literally felt sick to my stomach when I gave them the bad news. The only saving grace to the situation was that they could afford the loss…” His words trailed off as a hard lump settled in the pit of his stomach. “At least that’s what I thought.”
Dylan glanced up at the sky, noting the gathering storm clouds that were beginning to block out the sun. A cool breeze rustled through the trees sending a shiver across his skin. “They were understanding, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that the monetary loss was very significant for them. Just that knowledge upset me, but then something happened that hit me like nothing else in my life ever had and left me totally devastated.”
He swallowed, not at all happy with the confusing mixture of emotions that churned inside him. “Stanley put his arm around Rose’s shoulder and said that as long as they had each other their love would pull them through any crisis. His words, attitude and gracious manner in the face of adversity had produced an overwhelming guilt and remorse in me unlike anything I had ever experienced before, even though my dealings had all been ethical and straightforward. It was a moment that touched me on the deepest level of despair. That happened three months ago, and it’s preyed on my conscience ever since that day.”
Jessica stopped walking, which brought Dylan to a halt. Her eyes showed a deep concern that carried over into her voice. “Is that how and why you ended up here?”
It was a valid question, as much as the one that had continued to circulate through his mind from that day—the question that asked what it must be like to be able to share that much love and devotion with someone special. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Would he ever be privileged to have that kind of love and devotion in his life? Could Jessica be that person? Or would it be something elusive that would always be just beyond his reach?
“Yes, that’s how and why I came to be in the cabin. I managed to salvage their money from the collapsed deal, but it didn’t do anything to stop my mounting guilt. Even now, three months later, it still haunts me. It’s what made me realize that I needed to make some drastic changes in my life and that I needed a place of quiet and solitude to work them out.”
Dylan had almost told her about how he had recouped the Clarksons’ money…the whole story…but had decided against it at the last moment. It had been difficult, but he had finally managed to get back part of their investment from the collapsed deal. He had made up the difference out of his own pocket without telling the Clarksons that the money had come from him personally. He knew them well enough to know that they would not have accepted the money if they had known it was his. It was a small gesture, one that had no real financial impact on his bank account, but something he felt he had to do. It was not enough, but he hadn’t known what else to do other than again offer his sincerest apologies.
A wave of sadness swept over Jessica, almost as if she were able to personally touch the disheartened state he had described. Her words were soft and emotion laden. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh?” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. A hint of a grin pulled at the corners of his mouth in sharp contrast to the heartfelt words he had used to explain his concerns. “And just what is it that you’re sorry for?”
She paused for a moment, trying to find the proper words. She refused to be deterred by his apparent attempt to lighten the mood. “I’m sorry I gave you such a bad time about why you wanted to use the cabin. I had no business trying to pry into your personal situation by insisting on answers that you were obviously not willing to give. I should have respected your privacy and backed off, rather than intruding into your need for solitude. As you said, Justin did promise you the use of the cabin, and I was supposed to be in New York.”
His features softened as most of the tension left his face. She reached up and gently smoothed out the remaining worry wrinkle that furrowed his forehead, then offered a hesitant smile.
“Is there anything I can do? Something that will help ease the situation for you?”
He put his arm around her shoulder. “You’ve already helped a great deal. You allowed me someone to tell about what happened. I feel better now that I’ve been able to get the words out. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This has been churning inside me for months. It’s put my entire life into a tailspin. I didn’t know what to do or which way to turn. It’s really been eating me up inside.”
Just being able to verbalize his inner turmoil had been a great relief. He pulled her into his embrace and placed a tender kiss on her lips, one that spoke of caring yet conveyed a sensuality that defined the passion that embodied Dylan Russell.
“As for your intruding…I’m very grateful that you did.” His voice was a whisper, his words truly heartfelt. “Thank you…thank you for listening to me, for being here.”
For the first time in his life Dylan was beginning to feel truly settled in his feelings and mind about a direction for his life. Had he finally been able to come to terms with the misplaced guilt that had been bothering him for the past three months? For the first time he believed that he could actually get on with his life…a life that would be far more productive than it had been in the past. And Jessica had played a major role in making it possible. Without having realized it at the time, he now knew that she had been an inspiration…a reason to set some goals for his life, to try for better things.
A shiver of panic brought his thoughts around to the here and now. His growing involvement with Jessica had been pushing at him, telling him that it had already gone beyond what he had been prepared to handle. She was everything a man could want—certainly everything he had ever wanted—but he wasn’t sure quite how to define what was happening or what to do about it.
He lowered his head to hers and captured her mouth in a heated kiss, partly to drive away his doubts and fears and partly because he didn’t seem to be able to keep his hands off her. Her arms circled his neck in response to his fervor. His kiss deepened as he pulled her body tighter against his. His tongue invaded the dark recesses of her mouth…teasing, exploring, tasting.
The wind picked up and the sky darkened as it filled with storm clouds. The scent of approaching rain filled the air. Dylan broke the kiss and glanced up at the sky. He brushed a soft kiss against her lips. “I think we’d better get back to the cabin before we get caught out here without an umbrella.”
She glanced up at the stormy sky. “You’re right.”
He continued to hold her in his embrace and her arms remained around his neck. Neither of them made any effort to break the spell holding them together. He looked into her eyes. His breath caught in his throat, and the panic welled inside him. He had spent most of his adult life avoiding any situation with a woman that could end up requiring a commitment from him. But he had not been able to escape the tantalizing presence of Jessica McGuire. How easy it would be for him to be pulled into the depths of those eyes.
He nestled her head against his shoulder as he continued to hold her. She felt so good in his arms, as if she belonged there. He didn’t want to let her go. The possibilities frightened him, but the reality wouldn’t allow him to leave. Even with the bridge opened and the way clear, he had chosen to stay. He wanted to stay with Jessica.
A fine mist tickled lightly across their faces, but neither of them made any effort to start back to the cabin. The mist turned to drizzle then quickly became a shower, forcing them to abandon the embrace that had held them in a shared time of intimate warmth and caring.
He took her hand and set a fast pace along the trail back toward the cabin. His intention was serious, but his manner was light and fun filled. “Come on…we’re going to be soaked to the skin if we don’t hurry.”
She laughed, enjoying the spontaneous moment. “We’re too far from the cabin to even hope to get back there in time.”
He came to an abrupt halt and pulled her into his arms, a teasing grin playing across his lips. “Then it won’t do any harm if we stop long enough for me to do this.” He captured her mouth with a sensual kiss that spoke volumes about his passion.