Emotional triggers are the things that automatically make you feel uncomfortable, stressed, frustrated, or sad. Sometimes, these triggers are easily identifiable, like if you’re used to being a top-notch student and get a terrible grade on a history test. Other times, they seem to come out of nowhere, such as breaking into tears when hearing a certain song (only to figure out it reminds you of that lost love from freshman year). There’s no right or wrong definition of an emotional trigger, as it varies from person to person, and it doesn’t necessarily matter if the perceived threat is “real.” For example, let’s say your significant other isn’t great about responding to texts, and it bugs you. There’s no “real” threat here, in the sense of, say, the real threat of that grizzly bear charging at you in the woods. However, what you’re feeling is certainly real, and those feelings indicate that you need to have an honest conversation with your partner about expectations and communication styles.
If something bothers you, it bothers you: those emotions are valid, and there’s no changing them or willing them away. What you can do is pay attention to what does trigger certain emotions. Consider how to limit or avoid exposure to those triggers. For example, you could turn off the radio or switch to a different tune if you’re listening to a song that makes you feel weepy—and then remind yourself to maybe pass on the emo music until you’re in a better emotional state. By being aware of a trigger, you can also think through how you might manage any painful feelings if that trigger is harder to avoid.