Sometimes it’s the little things in life that give us the greatest pleasure, like kicking back and watching Mother Nature’s passion play. Ferocious battles to the death can take place in our very living rooms. Like Nero Wolfe, I’ve taken a morbid interest in horticulture and have developed a particular fondness for mean plants—the kind you have to watch your step around.
Carnivorous Venus flytraps and pitcher plants are freaky-looking and devious, preferring to feast on live flesh. They like a hot, muggy environment—like a Carolina springtime—so, to keep the little monsters happy, I’ve built them a fancy-pants terrarium complete with headstones to honor the little fly soldiers that just couldn’t compete in the Darwinian crapshoot.
¼ cup uncooked alphabet pasta
Small glass or metal bowl
2 to 3 tablespoons calligrapher’s ink
Oven-bake polymer clay, such as Fimo or Sculpey
Toothpicks
Craft glue
1. Pour the alphabet pasta into a small glass or metal bowl. Add the ink and stir until thoroughly coated. Add more ink if needed.
2. Lay out the letters on several layers of paper towels to dry.
3. Shape the clay into small headstone shapes of your desired size.
4. Insert toothpicks into the bases of the headstones, with 1 inch protruding from the bottoms.
5. Bake the headstones according to the clay manufacturer’s instructions. (Remove from the oven and let them cool completely.)
6. Glue the dried letters to the fronts.
7. Stick the completed headstones into the ground.
8. Mourn.