36

Joseph and the girls had arrived at the church about halfway through the story. They were still sitting in the car, windows rolled down in the shade of the parking lot. Cars driving by outside were the only sound. Samantha had her chin pressed against her chest, as if in mourning. Jessie, in the back seat, had her mouth open, and was just beginning to slowly shake her head in protest.

“That’s it,” Joseph said, reiterating the wrap-up.

“No!” Jessie exclaimed, although she exclaimed it quietly. “That can’t be it! No!” she added, a lot louder. Joseph looked at her and half-shrugged. “She couldn’t have just walked away! Not after all that!”

“Well, she did,” Joseph said. “Other than obligatory small talk when we accidentally ran into each other, she never talked to me again.”

“C’mon, Jessie, you knew they didn’t end up together,” Samantha butted in. “Why do you care?”

“But…you were meant for each other!” she cried. “That can’t all be coincidence. If you can’t be together, something cosmic has to be keeping you apart! It can’t be…” She trailed off.

“Just her choice?” Joseph asked. “Sometimes, that’s all it is. Ultimately, that’s all it is. That’s the reality of young love.”

“No!” Jessie kicked Samantha’s seat in front of her, and she perked up in surprise and a bit of anger. “That’s an awful story!” Jessie opened the car door and ran off towards the church.

“Well, hell, I could’ve told her that yesterday and saved us a lot of time,” Samantha said, looking at Joseph and smiling at her own joke. Joseph was still looking in the direction that Jessie ran off to, more shocked than anything.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that,” he said to Samantha. “I didn’t expect her to like where it was going, but still.”

Now it was Samantha’s turn to shrug. “She’s a kid, what do you expect?”

“You’re a kid. Should I expect the usual out of you?”

Samantha shook her head. “No, but I’m different.”

“Oh?” Joseph asked. “How are you different?”

“You mean more mature, more developed, more realistic, more smart and not a spaz?” Samantha countered. “She just doesn’t understand things. You can’t hold it against her. She’s not ready for stories with realistic endings.”

“Do you mean unhappy endings?”

Samantha shrugged off the connection. “Same thing. She’s just the type of girl who’s going to get herself neck-deep in something and not know how to get herself out of it someday…” As Samantha finished that thought, she got into some thoughts of her own. “Oh,” she said aloud, not meaning to. “I think I’d better go talk to her.”

“Do you really think you’re the best for that? I think she needs sympathy right now.”

“Hey, fuck you,” Samantha said.

“I’m serious. The last thing she needs is someone telling her how stupid she is,” Joseph said.

“Just trust me,” Samantha said as she got out of the car and headed towards the church. “I’m a girl. Too,” she added, as an afterthought.

Churches in Arizona don’t really look like churches, Samantha thought as she tried to figure out where Jessie had gone. The main sanctuary had sloping roofs that stood up from the rest of the complex, but they weren’t all that tall, like some churches back in Texas. But it did rise a bit above the series of low-slung roofs that had meeting rooms, offices and all the other stuff a church has these days. If it weren’t for one cross on the outside wall, Samantha considered as she went into the courtyard, she wasn’t sure anyone could tell the church from a small school or office park.

She saw a bit of activity around the sanctuary, but ruled that out. Jessie would be avoiding people. Samantha looked around. Several doors to various rooms were open around the courtyard. Jessie didn’t appear to be behind any of the doors, nor in any she could see in through the windows. She did see sunlight coming through one of the windows, however, which was odd since she was outside looking in. As Samantha walked over, she realized that the sun was shining through another window on the other side, which must have its own enclosed courtyard.

Samantha went through the nearest open door and went over to the other window. This courtyard was completely enclosed, with a few plants added in for effect. She couldn’t see it all, but she figured she’d check it out. She found the door out to it, and tried open it without a sound, which wasn’t very successful at all between the metal latch and the door dragging on the ground as it swung open.

In the shadiest corner, Jessie sat, knees up to her chest. Her eyes peeked over her knees, and then she rolled them, as she thunked her forehead in frustration against her knee when she saw who was coming after her. Samantha let the door close behind her and walked over. She found the best place in the shade and sat down.

“Did you follow me?” came the muffled question from Jessie.

“No,” Samantha said.

“So how’d you find me?” Jessie asked.

Samantha shrugged. “I figured, where would I go? This was my first choice. You have good taste in running away.”

Jessie scoffed a little into her pants.

“So, what’s his name?” Samantha asked her.

Jessie looked at her with confusion on her face. “What’s whose name?”

“The guy,” Samantha said. “The boy. Whoever it is you think you’re meant to be with.”

Jessie blushed and looked away. “I don’t think we’re meant for each other.”

“But you hope you are?” Samantha pressed.

Jessie didn’t answer that question. “His name is Tyler.”

“How long have you been dating?”

Jessie shook her head. “Oh, no, we aren’t… I mean, we haven’t been… Do you really think my parents would let me go out on a date?”

“So when do you see him?”

“At school.” Jessie shrugged. “Sometimes after. Sometimes I tell my parents we’re staying for extra credit, but we really go to the mall near school.”

Samantha’s eyes widened, though it was for show. “Wow, look at you, lying to your parents for a boy.” Jessie blushed again. “Wow, I guess you never suspect the nerdy ones.”

“Hey!” Jessie protested. “Who are you calling nerdy?”

“You, nerd,” Samantha said. They smiled for a moment, and for that moment it seemed they were bonding. “You know,” Samantha continued, “I don’t get it. Sneaking out, dating when we’re not supposed to. Hiding a boy from them. Our parents have been through it all before. They have to know when we’re lying.” She looked at Jessie, who was listening with no reaction. “Sometimes, I wonder if they know we’re lying and just let it go because they know we have to go through it.”

“Ugh, that means we have something they want us to go through, like it’s a lesson. I just want to enjoy it.”

“So how long have you and him been…?” Samantha trailed off, trying to avoid a definition that might lead to a pointless debate about definitions.

“A few months. I’ve known him for a couple of years in school. We just decided to…try this year. He’s really sweet. And so cute.”

Samantha looked at her. “You know, you won’t…chances are, you won’t last with him.” Jessie looked up at her, any smile remaining from the bonding moment now gone. “I’m just saying…at your age…our age, the chances of finding a soul mate are slim. You should be trying to figure out your own soul at this point…”

“You should try it. Then maybe you’ll be able to find one,” Jessie said, with a sharpness to her voice that she hadn’t had all weekend.

That left Samantha silent. She’d been trying to not cross any lines, but had still blundered over one.

Jessie watched her cousin and felt a little guilty. “So, how about you and your boyfriend?” Jessie asked.

Samantha shook her head. “I don’t have one.”

“Aw, c’mon,” Jessie said. “I told you about mine!”

Samantha shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you. I was seeing a guy a few months ago, but nothing serious. He was…older. Sixteen.”

“Why didn’t it last?”

“He went back to high school and decided he couldn’t be seen with a middle school chick. So he started dating some slut he could get his hands on from the sophomore class.”

“Oh,” Jessie said. “I’m sorry. Boys suck.”

“No, no, they don’t,” Samantha countered.

Jessie frowned a little, but nodded in a silent, but tacit agreement, as they both stared off into space.

“I’ve really missed you,” Jessie said. Samantha looked up at her, surprised. “With all the boys around, I really needed my sister there.”

“I’m your cousin, silly,” Samantha said.

“Well, you were my sister,” Jessie countered. “You were always pushing me, making me grow up with you. When you left… I didn’t have anyone to do that with.” She trailed off a little.

“Do what with?” Samantha asked.

“Grow up,” Jessie answered. “And I thought it’d be the same for you, and then I see you, and…”

“Don’t,” Samantha said. “Don’t be jealous of me. It’s not fun, all the skirts and the hair, and worrying what everyone thinks, or acting like you’re not worried. It sucks.”

“Yeah, well, look at how everyone treats you,” Jessie said. “Look at Joseph.”

“What do you mean?” Samantha asked, her eyes narrowing.

“He keeps asking you for your story,” Jessie answered. “But he never wants to hear mine.”

Samantha thought about that for a moment. “Maybe…” she started to say, before finding her idea. “Maybe he just thinks you have someone to tell your story to, and I don’t.”

“Me? Who would I tell? Not Mom and Dad. Not my brother.”

“Me, you silly,” Samantha said, with one of her most genuine smiles of the weekend. “You just told me your story.”

Jessie smiled and blushed. “It wasn’t much of a story.”

“Yeah, well, it’s just the start of it,” Samantha said. “Right?”

Jessie sniffed and nodded. They sat for a moment in silence, before Samantha began to shift around. “I’m going to go back and talk to Joseph again. You coming?”

Jessie shook her head. “Do you mind if I stay here for a bit? It’s nice being alone. I see why you’re always running off to do it.”

“Of course not,” Samantha said. She got up, looked at Jessie for a second and then headed back out to the parking lot.

* * *

As Samantha got back out to the lot, she saw the car was empty. She headed back to the church and found Joseph unpacking some boxes of programs and laying them out on a table for the service.

“Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?” Samantha said as she marched up to him and grabbed the programs out of his hand to get his attention.

“How’s Jessie?” Joseph asked, ignoring the statement.

“Oh, she’s fine. How could you do that to her?” she asked, her glare locked on Joseph.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re lying to us,” Samantha said. “You left out something. I don’t know what it is, but you did.”

Joseph went silent for a second and studied his cousin’s face. “How do you figure?” Joseph finally said.

“That girl really did like you…” Samantha said.

“Are you sure about that? I’m not,” Joseph cut her off, as he took out some more programs and laid them out.

“Whatever,” Samantha said. She tried to stay in front of him, in his field of view, so he couldn’t brush her off. “It makes no sense that she’d just walk out like that. Something had to have happened to cause it.”

“Something did. I scared her off,” Joseph said. He looked over towards her, but not really at her. “We were in close quarters, I was nervous around girls… I just freaked her out. It was all my fault. It really was.”

“Oh my god, you came on to her,” Samantha said.

“No!” Joseph said quickly. Now he was looking at her. “I never touched her or did anything like that. Believe me, I was scared out of my mind being that close to her. I was doing everything I could to keep everything proper, sleeping on the floor and all that.”

“Then what happened?” Samantha kept pushing.

“Look.” Joseph put his hands on the table and looked down. He took a deep breath. “If I left something out, I left it out for a reason,” Joseph said.

“Why would you do that?” Samantha demanded.

Joseph sighed and stopped with the programs. He looked up at nothing at all, and finally looked at her. “There’s a lot of reasons. Shame, confusion, just that it’s just plain weird. You’re saying that what I told you doesn’t make sense. Well, there are a lot of other things that don’t make sense.”

“Like what?” Samantha asked.

Joseph looked around and put down the rest of the programs he was trying to set out. He took Samantha by the wrist and went back to the kitchen of the church in the next room. “You remember that Mark Twain quote I told you?” Samantha shook her head, so Joseph repeated it. “Truth is stranger than fiction, if only because fiction is bound to possibility. Truth isn’t.”

“I don’t get it,” Samantha said.

“Look, things happen. Like I said, people are fucked up.”

“Joseph, you’re acting really weird.”

“Yeah,” Joseph said, and for a moment, he was smiling again. “I do that sometimes.” After a second, he got serious again and looked at Samantha. “I’m fucked up. I was for a long time.”

“But you don’t drink. Or do drugs.” Samantha was confused.

“That doesn’t stop someone from having issues,” Joseph said. “Depression. Frustration. I grew up with that.”

“Why?” Samantha asked. “You had a pretty good life, it sounds. Family, home…”

“Because of Jen,” Joseph said, looking directly at her.

Samantha started to say something, but paused for a second, a bit startled by that revelation. “Jen? You mean, that girl you knew who…” Joseph just nodded in response to the question she couldn’t bring herself to finish. “What does she have to do with anything?”

“Remember about those zone-outs I told you about?” Samantha nodded. “Well, most of the time, I’d just be blank. It was fine. But once, I remembered what I saw. Clearer than most memories. And that once was when Sera was in Paris.”

Samantha cocked her head to the side. “But wouldn’t being with Sera make you happy?”

Joseph sputtered a smile. “If only it were that easy. When you have something that haunts you…it’s never that simple.”

Samantha was now just looking at him.

“Listen,” Joseph said. “If I tell you this story, it’s going to get a little strange. You need to hang with it.” Samantha nodded in agreement. “I’ll warn you, I can’t explain this story. Not really. I just don’t know. So I’ll tell it as I remember it, nothing more, nothing less. Okay?”

“Okay.”