She must have been asleep for a while because the window of her room, which looked out on the street, was unlighted. I climbed the stairs that led to the upper floor, filled with a fierce desire to shake her awake and question her. I was very close to doing it, before I saw reason. I lay down in that soulless room that was now mine. The wooden walls were damp, like the walls of a vacation cabin by the sea. And yet the sea was a long way away. I had only just gone to bed when the neighbor got up to tinker with the engine of his car, an old brown Pontiac as tacky as a kitchen table. Around five in the morning, he started beating on the Delco with a big hammer and my night was over. I was tempted to yell at him, but I got up, went out, and passed in front of him without saying anything, not even good morning. When I got to my van, I realized I was out of money. I had blown it all at the Jury Room. The front door was closed and my mother had never left me the keys. I took advantage of the neighbor’s racket to break a windowpane in the kitchen, lift the window and slide in. For some reason, there was a nice thick wad of ten-dollar bills at the bottom of my mother’s bag. I took half. I left the same way I’d got in, then had second thoughts. A normal burglar wouldn’t have left half the wad at the bottom of the bag, so I went back and took it all, down to the last cent. I hesitated, then went into my mother’s room. The handle creaked when I turned it. She was lying on her back in a satin nightdress that had ridden up to the top of her thighs, uncovering her legs with all those varicose veins. Her arms were stretched out and her head was on the side. Her mouth and nostrils were searching for air. There was a stench of alcohol and fetid breath. I closed the door, vowing never to see her again.
I took advantage of the first few dollars to buy two records and lunch for Wendy, who couldn’t get over it. I showed up outside the building where she worked at lunchtime. I felt really bad but I hid it well. I took her to a restaurant on the corner of Beach Street and the wharf. It’s a place that’s popular not only with the inhabitants of Santa Cruz but also with people passing through and the atmosphere’s really lively, with incredible hamburger specials. A large picture window looks out on the sea, and there’s no way you can leave the place and still be hungry. I told Wendy I was going to leave my mother for good and that I’d be away for two or three days to arrange our separation. I told her about a Green Giant ad I had seen in the newspaper. I drove her back to her work and we arranged to meet up two days later, same time, same place. Wendy seemed pleased with my renewed enthusiasm and energy.
In the afternoon, it started raining. I couldn’t let a chance like that pass. I put my badge allowing me access to the campus on the rearview mirror of my Ford Galaxy and drove up to the university. I pulled up in the parking lot of the science faculty. I felt as stifled as if a trailer truck was parked on my chest. I tried to catch up on the sleep I’d missed the night before but I couldn’t get a wink. The rain, which had been intermittent so far, now came down more heavily, flooding my windshield and isolating me from the world. When the downpour wore off to a steady drizzle, I took off again. I was torn between going downtown for a quick drink and giving a ride to a girl, even though I wasn’t in the mood to chat. I opted for a drink at the Jury Room. I knew it was the right choice because, in spite of the rain, the recent killings had dissuaded the co-eds from hitching rides. As I was about to start the big descent into town, I noticed two girls, the kind I liked, walking side by side under the same umbrella. As I drove slowly up to them, one of them turned and, seeing my face, smiled and lifted her thumb as if to say, “You can’t let two pretty girls from good families get soaked.”
I looked at my watch as I drew level with them and stopped.
The brunette clearly hadn’t had any intention of hitching a ride but she hadn’t been able to resist her friend’s spontaneous impulse. The blonde had bewitchingly fine features. There wasn’t a trace of vulgarity or flabbiness in her face. Her eyes were a mineral blue and I would have been surprised and disappointed if their beauty concealed coldness of any kind. The brunette got in the back, where there weren’t any windows or doors. The blonde settled herself comfortably beside me and the efforts she’d been making to charm me faded abruptly. I even thought for a moment that she was trying to make me pay for that first smile. I wasn’t surprised by their destination. They weren’t the kind of girls who lived by the amusement park.