ALICIA OPENED HER eyes in the dim candlelight. The first thing she noticed was that she was too thirsty to be dead. The second thing was the face of a man with white hair and beard, sitting next to her. He was gazing at her from behind tiny round lenses, and his features reminded her vaguely of the God figure in one of the catechism books of her years in the orphanage.
“Are you from heaven?” asked Alicia.
“Don’t get carried away. I’m from the neighbourhood.”
Dr. Soldevila took her wrist and felt her pulse, checking his watch. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m very thirsty.”
“I know,” said Dr. Soldevila, without making any move to offer her something to drink.
“Where am I?”
“Good question.” The doctor pulled back the sheets, and Alicia felt his hand over her pelvis. “Do you feel the pressure?”
She nodded.
“Pain?”
“Thirst.”
“I know. But you must wait.”
Before covering her, Dr. Soldevila’s eyes paused on the black scar wrapping around her hip. Alicia could read the horror that his eyes were trying to hide. “I’ll give you something for that. But be careful. You’re still very weak.”
“I’m used to the pain, Doctor.”
Dr. Soldevila sighed and covered her up again.
“Am I going to die?”
“Not today. I know this sounds silly, but try to relax and rest.”
“As if I were on holiday.”
“Something like that. Try to, at least.”
Dr. Soldevila stood up, and Alicia heard him murmur a few words. Footsteps approached, and a circle of figures appeared around her makeshift bed. She recognized Fermín, and Daniel and Bea. There was a man with them. He had sparse hair and eagle eyes, and she had the feeling she’d known him all her life but couldn’t quite place him. Fermín was whispering to Dr. Soldevila. Daniel smiled with relief. Bea, next to him, was looking suspiciously into Alicia’s eyes.
Fermín knelt down beside her and placed his hand on her forehead. “This is the second time you’ve almost died on my watch, and I’m starting to get fed up to my back teeth. You have the mien of a corpse, granted, but other than that, you look like a million pesetas, so how are you feeling?”
“Thirsty.”
“That doesn’t make sense to me. You’ve swallowed at least eighty percent of my bloodstream.”
“Until all the anaesthetic has been eliminated, she mustn’t drink,” Dr. Soldevila explained.
“Piece of cake, you’ll see,” Fermín remarked. “Cleansing the body of anaesthetics is like shedding a few years of Catholic school: free your nether regions a bit, and the rest will follow.”
Dr. Soldevila threw him a poisonous look. “Try not to tire the patient with such filth, if that’s not too much to ask.”
“The silence of the grave will be observed,” Fermín declared, crossing himself to make the point.
Dr. Soldevila grunted. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Until then, you’d better take turns. At the slightest sign of a fever, inflammation or infection, come and fetch me. Day or night. Who’s going to take the first turn? Not you, Fermín – I can see you coming.”
Bea spoke first. “I’ll stay,” she said in a tone that made it very clear that this was not open to debate. “Fermín, I left Julián with Sofía, but I’m not too happy about it because he always gets his way with her. I’ve called Bernarda and asked her to come around and keep an eye on him. You can use our bedroom. I’ve left clean sheets on the chest of drawers, and Bernarda knows where everything is. Daniel will sleep on the sofa.”
Daniel glanced at his wife, but kept his mouth shut.
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure the little one sleeps like a log. A dash of brandy and honey in his milk will work wonders.”
“Don’t even dream of giving my son any alcohol. And for goodness’ sake don’t talk to him about politics, because then he goes around repeating everything.”
“Yes, ma’am. Information power cut decreed sine die.”
“Bea, remember the antibiotic injections. Every four hours,” said the doctor.
Fermín grinned innocently at Alicia. “Don’t worry,” he said. “Doña Bea, who may seem a bit of a dragon today, gives injections like an angel. Her father is diabetic, you see, and although there is nothing sweet about him, she became so skilful at pricking, she’d be the envy of those panther mosquitoes on the Nile, or whatever those bugs are called in that part of the world. She learned to give injections as a child, since there was no one else in the family who dared, and now she pricks us all, me included, considering I’m a difficult patient because I have steel buttocks and I bend all the needles due to my muscular tension.”
“Fermín!” Bea shouted.
Fermín performed a military salute and winked at Alicia. “Well, my dear vamp, I leave you in good hands. Try not to bite anyone. I’ll be back in the morning. Pay attention to everything Señora Bea tells you, and if possible try not to die.” “I’ll do my best. Thanks for everything, Fermín. Once again.”
“Don’t remind me. Come on, Daniel. Looking dumbfounded won’t speed up the healing process.”
Fermín left, dragging Daniel behind him.
“All clear, then,” said the doctor. “Now, how does one get out of here? ”
“I’ll see you out,” said the keeper.
*
They were left alone. Bea pulled up a chair and sat down next to Alicia. They regarded one another without uttering a word. Alicia ventured a smile of gratitude. Bea gazed at her, inscrutable.
After a while the keeper poked his head in and sized up the situation. “Doña Beatriz, should you need anything, you know where to find me. I’ve left you a few blankets and the medicines with the doctor’s instructions on the shelf.”
“Thanks, Isaac. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, then. Goodnight, Alicia,” said the keeper. His footsteps faded away down the corridor.
“Everyone seems to know me here,” said Alicia.
“Yes, everyone seems to know you. A pity nobody knows for certain who you really are.”
Alicia nodded, giving Bea another meek smile, which Bea again didn’t return. A long, heavy silence fell between them. Alicia’s eyes roamed over the walls, which were covered with books from floor to ceiling. She knew Bea’s gaze was still fixed on her.
“Can you tell me what you’re simpering about?” asked Bea.
“Oh, just something silly. A while ago I dreamed that I was kissing a very handsome man, and I don’t know who he was.”
“Do you have a habit of kissing strangers, or is that only when you’re under anaesthetic?”
Bea’s tone of voice cut like a knife blade, and as soon as the words had left her mouth she regretted them. “I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“Don’t be. I deserve it,” said Alicia.
“In just over three hours, it will be time for the antibiotic. Why don’t you try to sleep a bit, as the doctor ordered?”
“I don’t think I could. I’m frightened.”
“I thought nothing frightened you.”
“I’m good at pretending.”
Bea was about to say something, but she bit her tongue.
“Bea?”
“What?”
“I know I have no right to ask you to forgive me, but—”
“Forget about that for the moment. I don’t have to forgive you for anything.”
“But would you, if I asked you to?”
“Your friend Fermín says that if someone wants to be forgiven, he should go to the confessional, or buy himself a dog. For once, and because he can’t hear me, I’ll admit he’s right.”
“Fermín is a wise man.”
“He has his moments. But don’t tell him, or he’ll become unbearable. Now try to get some sleep.”
“May I hold your hand?” asked Alicia.
Bea hesitated, but in the end accepted Alicia’s hand. They were silent for a long time. Alicia closed her eyes and began to breathe slowly. Bea looked at that strange creature who made her feel fear and compassion at the same time. Soon after she had arrived, when Alicia was still delirious, the doctor had examined her, and Bea had helped him undress her. She still had that image engraved on her mind: the horrifying wound that mauled her side.
“Daniel is a lucky man,” murmured Alicia.
“Are you trying to flatter me?”
“A married woman and a mother? I would never dare.”
“I thought you were supposed to be asleep,” said Bea.
“So did I.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Do you mean the wound?”
Bea didn’t reply.
Alicia still had her eyes closed. “Just a bit,” she said. “The anaesthetic has numbed it.”
“How did you get it?”
“It was during the war. In the bombings.”
“I’m sorry.”
Alicia shrugged.
“It helps me keep suitors away.”
“I bet you have loads.”
“None worth the candle. The best men fall in love with women like you. They only want me to fantasize about.”
“If you’re trying to make me feel sorry for you, forget it.”
Alicia smiled.
“Don’t think they don’t fantasize about me,” ventured Bea with a chuckle.
“I haven’t the slightest doubt.”
“Why are they so stupid sometimes?” asked Bea.
“Men? Who knows. Perhaps it’s because nature is a mother, though a cruel one, and she leaves them silly at birth. But some of them aren’t that bad.”
“That’s what Bernarda says.”
“And your Daniel?”
Bea sharpened her eyes. “What about my Daniel?”
“Nothing. He seems to be a nice guy. A good soul.”
“He has his dark side, believe me.”
“Because of what happened to his mother? To Isabella?”
“What do you know about Isabella?”
“You were a much better liar without the anaesthetic.”
“Can I trust you?”
“I can’t see you have much choice. The question is whether I can trust you.”
“Do you doubt it?”
“Absolutely.”
“There are things about Isabella, about her past . . .” Alicia began. “I think Daniel has a right to know them, but I’m not sure whether in fact it would be better if he never did.”
“Alicia?”
Alicia opened her eyes and found Bea’s face almost touching hers. She felt her pressing her hand tightly.
“Yes.”
“I’m going to ask one thing of you. I’ll only tell you once.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Don’t ever think of harming Daniel or my family.”
Alicia held that gaze, which became so commanding she hardly dared to breathe.
“Swear you won’t.”
Alicia gulped. “I swear.”
Bea nodded and sat back in her chair again. Alicia saw her half close her eyes.
“Bea?”
“What is it now?”
“There’s something . . . The other night, when I walked with Daniel to your front door . . .”
“Shut up and go to sleep.”