GENUINE THINGS WRITTEN BY DRIVERS ON INSURANCE FORMS
‘A bull was standing near and the fly must have tickled him as he gored my car.’
•
‘A lamp post bumped the car, damaging it in two places.’
•
‘A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.’
•
‘An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.’
•
‘As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.’
•
‘Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.’
•
‘I blew my horn but it would not work as it had been stolen.’
‘I bumped a lamp post which was obscured by pedestrians.’
•
‘I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.’
•
‘I consider that neither car was to blame, but if either one was to blame, it would be the other one.’
•
‘I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight.’
•
‘I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.’
•
‘I had been learning to drive with power steering.
I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.’
•
‘I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.’
•
‘I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.’
‘I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.’
•
‘I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.’
•
‘I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.’
•
‘I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.’
•
‘I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.’
•
‘I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.’
•
‘I told the other idiot what he was and went on.’
‘I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.’
•
‘I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.’
•
‘In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.’
•
‘My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.’
•
‘No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.’
•
‘She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.’
•
‘The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.’
‘The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.’
•
‘The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.’
•
‘The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.’
WHERE’S IT FROM?
HOCUS POCUS
It is thought that the word ‘hocus’ was taken from the genitive of the Latin word hoax (after all, a trick is a kind of hoax) and that the word ‘pocus’ was added as part of the incantation that a magician would use as part of his act. In any event, the seventeenth-century magician who popularized the expression liked it so much he changed his name to… Hocus Pocus.
