‘I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.’
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‘It is true I am a bachelor and have deducted for two children. But please believe me when I say it was an accident.’
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‘I cannot pay the full amount at the moment as my husband is in hospital. As soon as I can I will send on the remains.’
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‘If my husband puts in a claim for a dependent named Marcia, I just want you to know that my name is Gertrude.’
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‘Do I have to pay taxes on the alimony my former husband is paying me? It’s not as though I do anything to earn it.’
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‘I have to inform you that my mother-in-law passed away after receiving your form on November 22. Thanking you.’
‘Please send me a claim form as I have had a baby. I had one before, but it got dirty and I burned it.’
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‘Please correct this assessment. I have not worked for the past three months as I have broken my leg. Hoping you will do the same.’
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‘I have not been living with my husband for several years, and have much pleasure in enclosing his last will and testament.’
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‘I cannot get sick pay. I have six children, can you tell me why?’
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‘I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and this doesn’t seem to do me any good. If things don’t improve I will be forced to send for another doctor.’
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‘I am writing to the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?’
‘In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.’
‘Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.’
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‘I am very annoyed that you have branded my son illiterate, as this is a lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.’
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‘Please send me an official letter advising that I can’t claim the costs of taking my wife to conventions.
I don’t want her along but I need an excuse.’
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‘Thank you for explaining my income tax liability. You have done it so clearly that I almost understand it.’
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