Enter LYDUS from the house of BACCHIS.
LYDUS
Open and throw back straightway this gate of hell, I do entreat. For, really, I do deem it nothing else; inasmuch as no one comes here but he whon all hopes have deserted, that he may yet be a decent person. Bacchis — no, not Bacchis is their name, but they are most determined Bacchanals. Avaunt from me, you sisters, who suck the blood of men. Richly and elegantly furnished is this house — for destruction. Soon as I beheld all this, at once I straight-way way betook myself to my heels. And ought I to carry these things concealed in secrecy? Ought I, Pistoclerus, to conceal from your father your excesses, or your misdeeds, or your places of resort? by which you are aiming to drive your father and myself, and your own self and all your friends, to disgrace, and shame, and ruin altogether, and to destroy us all. Within yourself you entertain no awe of either me or your own self on account of the deeds which you are doing by which you have made your own father and myself as well, your friends and your connexions, to be abettors in the disgrace of your excesses. Now, before you add this mischief to the rest, I am resolved at once to tell your parent. This instant from myself will I remove this blame, and shall disclose the matter to the old gentleman, that he may forthwith draw forth his son out from this loathsome pollution. (Exit.)
Enter MNESILOCHUS.
MNESILOCHUS
In many ways have I thought it over with myself, and thus I think it is; a man your friend, who is a friend such as the name imports — except the Gods — nothing does excel him. By fact have I experienced it so to be. For when I departed hence to Ephesus (’tis now almost two years ago it happened), from Ephesus I sent letters hither to my friend Pistoclerus, requesting that he would find out my mistress Bacchis for me. I hear that he has found her, as my servant Chrysalus has brought me word. How aptly, too, has he framed a device against my father about the gold, that I may have abundance in my amour. I see ’tis right that I should make a due return. ’Tis better for you to be styled extravagant than ungrateful; but, i’ faith, in my way of thinking at least, there’s nothing more extravagant than the ungrateful man. The former the good will praise, the latter even the bad will censure. ‘Twere better for an ill-doer to escape than for a benefactor to be deserted. For this reason, then, it behoves me to take the greater care; I needs must be on the watch. Now, Mnesilochus, the sample is on view, now the contest is being decided, whether you are or are not such as you ought to be; good or bad, of whichever kind; just or unjust, penurious or liberal, fretful or complying. Take you care, if you please, lest you let your servant exce. you in doing well. Whatever you shall prove, I warn you, you shall not be concealed. But see, I perceive my friend’s father and his tutor coming this way. I’ll listen what matter ’tis they are upon. He retires aside.
Enter LYDUS and PHILOXENUS.
LYDUS
I’ll now make trial, whether your heart is sharpened by wisdom in your breast. Follow me.
PHILOXENUS
Whither shall I follow? Whither are you now leading me?
LYDUS
To her who has undone, utterly destroyed your single, only son.
PHILOXENUS
How now, Lydus; those are the wiser who mode-rate their passion. ’Tis less to be wondered at if this age does some of these things than if it does not do so; I, as well, did the same in my youth.
LYDUS
Ah me! ah me! this over-indulgence has proved his ruin. For had he been without you, I should have had him trained up to moral rectitude; now, by reason of you and your trusting disposition, Pistoclerus has become abandoned.
MNESILOCHUS
aside . Immortal Gods! he names my friend. What means this, that Lydus is thus exciting his master, Pistoclerus?
PHILOXENUS
’Tis but a little time, Lydus, that a man has a desire to indulge his inclinations; the time will soon come, when he will hate himself even. Humour him; so that care is taken that he offends not beyond the line of honor, e’en suffer him.
LYDUS
I’ll suffer him not, nor, for my part, while I’m alive, will I allow him to be corrupted. But you, who are pleading his cause for a son so profligate, was this same your own training, when you were a young man? I declare that for your first twenty years you had not even this much liberty, to move your foot out of the house even a finger’s length away from your tutor. When it did happen so, this evil, too, was added to the evil; both pupil and preceptor were esteemed disgraced. Before the rising of the sun had you not come to the school for exercise, no slight punishment would you have had at the hands of the master of the school. There did they exercise themselves rather with running, wrestling, the quoit, the javelin, boxing, the ball, and leaping, rather than with harlots or with kissing; there did they prolong their lives, and not in secret-lurking holes. Then, when from the hippodrome and school of exercise you had returned home, clad in your belted frock, upon a stool by your masters would you sit; and there, when you were reading your book, if you made a mistake in a single syllable, your skin would be made as spotted as your nurse’s gown.
MNESILOCHUS
(aside). I’m sorely vexed, to my sorrow, that on my account these things should be said about my friend. In his innocence he incurs this suspicion for my sake.
PHILOXENUS
The manners, Lydus, now are altered.
LYDUS
That, for my part, I know full well. For formerly, a man used to receive public honors by the votes of the people, before he ceased to be obedient to one appointed his tutor. But now-a-days, before he is seven years old, if you touch a boy with your hand, at once the child breaks his tutor’s head with his tablet. When you go to complain to the father, thus says the father to the child: “Be you my own dear boy, since you can defend yourself from an injury.” The tutor then is called for; “Hallo! you old good-for-nothing, don’t you be touching the child for this reason, that he has behaved so boldly;” and thus the despised tutor becomes just like a lantern with his oiled linen rags. Judgment pronounced, they go away thence. Can this preceptor then, on these terms, keep up his authority, if he himself is to be beaten the first?
MNESILOCHUS
aside . This is a severe accusation. So far as I understand his words, ’tis strange if Pistoclerus has never thumped Lydus with his fists.
LYDUS
seeing MNESILOCHUS . But who is it that I see standing here before the door? O Philoxenus, I would not prefer for myself to behold even the propitious Gods rather than him.
PHILOXENUS
Who’s this?
LYDUS
Why, he’s Mnesilochus, the friend of your son. He is not of a like turn of mind with him who reclines and takes his meals in brothels. Fortunate Nicobulus! who begot him for himself.
PHILOXENUS
(advancing). My greetings to you, Mnesilochus; I’m glad that you have arrived safe.
MNESILOCHUS
May the Gods favour you, Philoxenus.
LYDUS
He, now, was born at a lucky moment for his father; he goes to sea, attends to the interests of his family, takes care of the house, is obedient and attentive to the wish and commands of his father. He, when but a boy, was the companion of Pistoclerus in his boyhood; ’tis not by three days that he is the older in age, but his disposition is more improved by thirty years than that of the other.
PHILOXENUS
Beware of a mischief, and forbear to speak of him unjustly.
LYDUS
Hold your peace. You’re a foolish man, who cannot bear to have him badly spoken of who does badly. But I would rather have him draw upon my mishaps than upon my savings.
PHILOXENUS
Why so?
LYDUS
Because, if he were to draw upon my mishaps, he would each day be making them less.
MNESILOCHUS
Why, Lydus, are you censuring your pupil, my friend?
LYDUS
Your friend is ruined.
MNESILOCHUS
May the Gods forbid it.
LYDUS
’Tis so as I say. And further, I myself saw it when he was undone; I am not censuring him from hearsay.
MNESILOCHUS
What has been done by him?
LYDUS
He is disgracefully doting upon a harlot.
MNESILOCHUS
Won’t you be silent now?
LYDUS
She, too, like a tide, most voraciously swallows all up, whenever she has touched any one.
MNESILOCHUS
Where does this woman live?
LYDUS
Here. (Points to the house.)
MNESILOCHUS
Whence do they say she comes?
LYDUS
From Samos.
MNESILOCHUS
What’s her name?
LYDUS
Bacchis.
MNESILOCHUS
You are wrong, Lydus; I know the whole affair, just as it is. You are blaming Pistoclerus without reason, and in his innocence. For he is carefully performing the business enjoined on him by his friend and companion, his sincere well-wisher. Neither is he himself in love, nor do you suppose him so.
LYDUS
Is it necessary for him carefully to perform the business enjoined upon him by his friend in this fashion — for himself, sitting down, to hold a damsel in his lap who is kissing him? Can the business thus entrusted be in no way transacted unless ever and anon he is placing his hand upon the bosom of Bacchis, or never withdraws his lips from hers? But I’m ashamed to make mention of other things which I have seen him do; when, in my presence, I saw him take most unbecoming liberties with the person of Bacchis, and yet not be at all ashamed. What need of words is there? My pupil, your friend, his son pointing to PHILOXENUS , is ruined. For I say that he is ruined, whose modesty in fact is lost. What need of words is there? Had I been willing to wait only a little time, that I might have had a better opportunity of viewing him, I then should, I think, have seen more than would have been proper for me to see, and for him to do.
MNESILOCHUS
(aside). Friend, you have undone me. And ought I not to punish this woman with death? I should prefer that I should perish after some dreadful fashion. Isn’t it the fact, you know not whom to deem faithful to yourself, or in whom to put your trust?
LYS.
Don’t you see how much he grieves that your son, his friend, has been corrupted? and how he is afflicting himself with sorrow?
PHILOXENUS
Mnesilochus, I beg this of you, that you will influence his feelings and his disposition. Preserve for yourself a friend as well as a son for me.
MNESILOCHUS
I fain would do so.
LYDUS
to PHILOXENUS . Much better, too, would you leave me here together with him.
PHILOXENUS
Mnesilochus has cares, more than enough.
LYDUS
Rate the man soundly, who disgraces me, yourself his friend, and others, by his excesses.
PHILOXENUS
to MNESILOCHUS . Upon you do I impose all this responsibility. Lydus, follow me this way.
LYDUS
I follow you. (Exeunt PHILOXENUS and LYDUS.)
MNESILOCUHS, alone.
MNESILOCHUS
Which of the two now I should think to be my greater enemy, my companion or Bacchis, is extremely doubtful. Has she chosen him in preference? Let her keep him, that’s the best. Surely, by my troth, she has done this to her own loss. For never let any one entrust to me aught that is sacred, if I don’t by an abundant example, and —— as-suredly love her. I’ll make her not to say that she has got hold of a person to make a fool of. But I’ll go home now and pilfer something from my father. Even to such straits will I force her, that beggary shall be the lot of —— my father. But do I really now possess my wits with a mind unimpaired, who am in this fashion prating here of these things that are to come to pass? I’ faith, I’m of opinion that I’m in love, inasmuch as I know for sure I am. But still, than that she, from my abundance, should, by the scraping of a single feather, grow the richer, I’d rather outvie a beggar in begging. Never, by Heaven, while I live, shall she make a laughing-stock of me. For I have made up my mind to pay down all the gold at once to my father. Upon me, therefore, needy and penniless, shall she fawn, at the time, when it shall be for her advantage not a whit the more than if she were saying her pretty things to a dead man at his tomb. Beyond a doubt, ’tis my fixed determination to give the gold up to my father. Likewise, I’ll entreat that, for my sake, my father won’t hurt Chrysalus, nor censure him at all on my account with respect to the gold which he has deceived him about. For ’tis right that I should have a care for him, who, for my sake, has told this falsehood. (To some ATTENDANTS) Do you follow me, Goes into his father’s house.
Enter PISTOCLERUS from the house of BACCHIS.
PISTOCLERUS
speaking to BACCHIS as he comes out . Before other matters, Bacchis, will I give place to what you enjoin me, that I find out Mnesilochus, and bring him, together with myself, to you. But at this my mind is surprised, if my messenger has reached him, what it is that delays him. I’ll go into his house here, and see if perchance he’s at home.
Enter MNESILOCHUS from his father’s house.
MNESILOCHUS
as he enters . I’ve given up to my father all the gold. Now could I wish that she should meet me, after I am penniless, this fair one so scornful of me. Yet with what great difficulty did he grant me a pardon for Chrysalus. But I prevailed on him at last that he wouldn’t be at all angry with him.
PISTOCLERUS
apart . Isn’t this my friend?
MNESILOCHUS
apart . Isn’t this my foe that I see?
PISTOCLERUS
For sure ’tis he.
MNESILOCHUS
’Tis he.
PISTOCLERUS
apart . I’ll go to meet him, and I’ll mend my pace. Aloud. Health to you, Mnesilochus!
MNESILOCHUS
Hail!
PISTOCLERUS
As you are arrived safe from abroad, a dinner must be given.
MNESILOCHUS
A dinner pleases me not, which excites my choler.
PISTOCLERUS
Has any vexation befallen you on your arrival?
MNESILOCHUS
Aye, and a very grievous one.
PISTOCLERUS
From what quarter?
MNESILOCHUS
From a person whom heretofore I had supposed to be my friend.
PISTOCLERUS
Many live after that manner and method, who, when you think them to be friends, are found false with their deceitfulness, strong in their talking, slothful in their doing, of faith infirm. Not one is there whom they don’t envy on their enjoying prosperity; through their own indolence do they themselves take right good care that no envy is directed against them.
MNESILOCHUS
By my troth, you surely understand their ways most thoroughly. But still this one misfortune do they find from their bad disposition; they are the friends of no one, while they themselves are all at enmity against themselves; and these, while they are deceiving themselves, in their foolishness imagine that others are deceived. Just so is he whom I supposed to be as much a friend to me as I am to my own self. He, so far as in him lay, has taken all care to do whatever injury he could towards me, to turn all my own resources against me.
PISTOCLERUS
This same must me a bad man.
MNESILOCHUS
I judge that so he is.
PISTOCLERUS
Troth now, prithee, do tell me who it is.
MNESILOCHUS
He lives on good terms with yourself. But were he not; so, I would entreat you to do him whatever harm you could do.
PISTOCLERUS
Only tell me the person, who he is; if I don’t do him an injury, some way or other, do you say that I’m the greatest of cowards.
MNESILOCHUS
The person’s a bad one, but he’s your friend, i’ faith.
PISTOCLERUS
So much the rather, then, tell me who he is. In good sooth, I set no value on the esteem of a worthless person.
MNESILOCHUS
I appear, then, not to be able to avoid disclosing to you his name. Pistoclerus, you have utterly undone me, your friend.
PISTOCLERUS
How’s that?
MNESILOCHUS
How’s that? Did I not send you a letter from Ephesus about my mistress, that you should find her out for me?
PISTOCLERUS
I own you did; and I have discovered her.
MNESILOCHUS
How now? Was there not a choice for you of other Courtesans in Athens, for you to form engagements with, instead of with her whom I had recommended to your care? Could you yourself begin to love, and to contrive an injury against myself?
PISTOCLERUS
Are you in your senses?
MNESILOCHUS
I have found out the whole affair from your tutor; don’t deny it. You’ve ruined me.
PISTOCLERUS
What, still upbraiding me without reason with these rebukes of yours?
MNESILOCHUS
Why? You’re in love with Bacchis.
PISTOCLERUS
But look you, two persons of the name of Bacchis are living here in this house.
MNESILOCHUS
How, two?
PISTOCLERUS
Aye, and the two are sisters.
MNESILOCHUS
You are now designedly telling idle stories.
PISTOCLERUS
In fine, if you persist in thinking there’s but little confidence in me, I’ll take you upon my shoulders, and carry you hence into their house.
MNESILOCHUS
Well, I’ll go; but stay a moment.
PISTOCLERUS
I will not stay, and you shall not be holding me under a false suspicion.
MNESILOCHUS
I follow you then. (They go into the house of BACCHIS.)