Enter PARDALISCA, from the house, laughing aloud.
PARDALISCA
to herself . Upon my faith, I do not believe that at Nemea, nor do I think that at Olympia, or anywhere else, there ever where such funny games as these ridiculous games that are going on in-doors here with our old gentleman and our bailiff Olympio. In-doors, all over the house, all are in a bustle; the old man is bawling away in the kitchen, and urging on the cooks. “Why don’t you go to work at once? Why don’t you serve up, if you are going to serve up? Make haste; the dinner ought to have been cooked by this.” And then this bailiff is strutting about with his chaplet, clothed in white and finely rigged out. And then these women are dressing up the armour-bearer in the bedroom, to give him to be married to our bailiff in place of Casina; but the artful baggages very cleverly conceal what the upshot of this is really to be. Then too, in a manner quite worthy of them, the cooks are very cleverly doing their best to the end that the old gentleman mayn’t get his dinner. They are upsetting the pots, and putting out the fire with the water. At the request of these ladies they are so doing;they, too, are determined to bundle the old fellow dinnerless out of doors, that they by themselves may blow out their own stomachs. I know these female gluttons; a merchant-ship full of victuals they can devour. But the door is opening.
Enter STALINO, from the house.
STALINO
speaking to CLEOSTRATA, within . If you are wise, wife, you’ll dine, after all, when the dinner’s cooked. I shall dine in the country, for I’m desirous to attend the new-made husband and the newly-made bride into the country (I know the mischievous habits of persons), that no one may carry her off. Do you people indulge your appetite. But do make haste and send him and her out immediately, that at least we may get there in daylight. I shall be here tomorrow; to-morrow, wife, I’ll be having a banquet still.
PARDALISCA
aside . ’Tis as I said it would be; the women are packing the old fellow dinnerless out of doors.
STALINO
to PARDALISCA .What are you doing here?
PARDALISCA
I’m going whither she sent me.
STALINO
Really?
PARDALISCA
Seriously.
STALINO
What are you looking for here?
PARDALISCA
Really I’m looking for nothing at all.
STALINO
Be off; you are loitering here; the others are bustling about in-doors.
PARDALISCA
I’m off.
STALINO
Be off, then, will you, away from here, you jade of jades. PARDALISCA goes into the house. Is she gone then? I may now say here anything I please. He that’s in love, i’ faith, even if he is hungry, isn’t hungry at all. But see, the bailiff, my associate, companion, and husband-in-copartnership, is coming out of doors with wreath and torch.
Enter OLYMPIO, dressed in white, with a wreath on his head, and a torch in his hand, accompanied by MUSICIANS
OLYMPIO
to one of the MUSICIANS . Come, piper, while they are escorting the new-made bride out of doors, make the whole of this street resound with a sweet wedding-tune. He sings aloud. Io Hymen hymenæe! Io Hymen!
STALINO
accosting him . How fare you, my preserver?
OLYMPIO
I’m very hungry, faith; and, in fact, I’m not thirsty a little.
STALINO
But I’m in love.
OLYMPIO
Still, upon my faith, love, I shan’t be making any trial of you. For some time past my inside has been grumbling with emptiness.
STALINO
But why is she now delaying so long in-doors, just as though on purpose? The greater the haste I’m in, in so much the less is she.
OLYMPIO
What if I were even to trill an hymeneal lay?
STALINO
I agree to that; and I’ll help you at these our common nuptials.
OL. (STALING
joining, they sing). Hymen hymenæe! Io Hymen!
STALINO
Upon my faith, I’m dreadfully done up; one may burst one’s self with singing this hymeneal lay; if I do burst this way, I can’t burst any other, that I may make sure of.
OLYMPIO
Upon my faith, for sure, if you were a horse, you’d never be broken in.
STALINO
On what grounds?
OLYMPIO
You are too hard-mouthed.
STALINO
Have you ever found me so?
OLYMPIO
The Gods forbid! But the door makes a noise; they are coming out.
STALINO
I’ troth, the Gods do will me to be preserved at last. I already smell Casina at a distance. They move to a distance.
Enter, from the house, two FEMALE SERVANTS leading CHALINUS, veiled and dressed in women’s clothes, as CASINA.
TWO MAID-SERVANTS
Move on, and raise your feet a little over the threshold, newly-married bride; prosperously commence this journey, that you may always be alive for your husband, that you may be his superior in power, and the conqueror, and that your rule may gain the upper hand. Let your husband find you in clothes; you plunder your husband; by night and day to be tricking your husband, prithee, do remember.
OLYMPIO
to STALINO . Upon my faith, at her downright peril, the instant she offends me ever so little!
STALINO
Hold your tongue.
OLYMPIO
I shall not hold my tongue.
STALINO
What’s the matter
OLYMPIO
These wicked jades are wickedly teaching her wicked lessons.
STALINO
Instead of being all ready, they’ll be bringing this matter all into confusion for me. They are striving at that, wishing for it, that they may have it all undone.
TWO MAID-SERVANTS
Come, Olympio, as soon as you please, receive this wife of yours from us. They present CHALINUS to him.
OLYMPIO
Hand her to me then, if you are going to hand her to me at all to-day. They hand CHALINUS to him.
STALINO
to the FEMALE SERVANTS . Be off in-doors.
TWO MAID-SERVANTS
Prithee, do deal gently with her who is so young and inexperienced.
STALINO
It shall be so. Farewell; be off now.
TWO MAID-SERVANTS
Farewell. They go into the house.
STALINO
Is my wife now gone?
OLYMPIO
She’s in the house; don’t be afraid.
STALINO
Hurra! Now, faith, I’m free at last. Addressing himself to CHALINUS as CASINA. My sweetheart, my spring-flower, my little honey! Embraces him.
OLYMPIO
But, hark you! you’ll beware, if you are wise, of some mishap: she’s mine.
STALINO
I know that; but mine’s the first enjoyment.
OLYMPIO
holding him the torch . Hold this torch for me.
STALINO
Why, no, I’ll hold her in my arms in preference. All-powerful Venus, a happy existence hast thou given me in giving me the possession of her! A dear little body! a dear little honey! Hugs CHALINUS, who pretends to struggle.
OLYMPIO
shouting aloud . O my dear little wife! Jumps about on one leg.
STALINO
What’s the matter?
OLYMPIO
She has trod upon my toes.
STALINO
aside . I’ll compliment her, as it were. A mist is not so soft as is —— Pulls CHALINUS about. A pretty little bosom, upon my faith. CHALINUS gives him a thrust with his elbow, on which he roars out. Woe to unfortunate me!
OLYMPIO
What’s the matter?
STALINO
She struck me in the breast with her elbow.
OLYMPIO
Why then, pray, do you maul her about? But she does not do so to me, who touch her gently. CHALINUS gives him a poke with his elbow. O me!
STALINO
What’s the matter?
OLYMPIO
Prithee, how robust she is! she has almost laid me flat with her elbow.
STALINO
She wishes, then, to go to bed.
OLYMPIO
Nay but, why don’t we be off?
STALINO
taking hold of CHALINUS . My pretty, pretty little dear! They go into the house of ALCESIMUS.