Enter LYSITELES.
LYSITELES
I am revolving many things in my mind at once, and much uneasiness do I find in thinking upon them. I tease, and fret, and wear myself out; a mind that enjoins a hard task is now my master. But this thing is not clear to me, nor has it been enough studied by me, which pursuit of these two I should rather follow for myself; which of the two I should think of the greater stability for passing my life therein: whether it were preferable for me to devote myself to love or to aggrandisement; in which alternative there is more enjoyment of life in passing one’s days. On this point I am not fully satisfied. But this I think I’ll do, that I may weigh both the points together, I must be both judge and culprit in this trial: I’ll do so — I like it much. First of all, I will enlarge upon the pursuits of love, how they conduce to one’s welfare. Love never expects any but the willing man to throw himself in his toils; these he seeks for, these he follows up, and craftily counsels against their interests. He is a fawning flatterer, a rapacious grappler, a deceiver, a sweet-tooth, a spoiler, a corrupter of men who court retirement, a pryer into secrets. For he that is in love, soon as ever he has been smitten with the kisses of the object that he loves, forthwith his substance vanishes out of doors and melts away. “Give me this thing, my honey, if you love me, if you possibly can.” And then this gudgeon says: “O apple of my eye, be it so: both that shall be given you, and still more, if you wish it to be given.” Then does she strike while he is wavering; and now she begs for more. Not enough is this evil, unless there is still something more — what to eat, what to drink. A thing that creates a further expense, the favour of a night is granted; a whole family is then introduced for her — a wardrobe-woman a perfume-keeper, a cofferer, fan-bearers, sandal-bearers, singing-girls, casket-keepers, messengers, news-carriers, so many wasters of his bread and substance. The lover himself, while to them he is complaisant, becomes a beggar. When I revolve these things in my mind, and when I reflect how little one is valued when he is in need; away with you, Love — I like you not — no converse do I hold with you. Although ’tis sweet to feast and to carouse, Love still gives bitters enough to be distasteful. He avoids the Courts of justice, he drives away your relations, and drives yourself away from your own contemplation. Nor do men wish that he should be called their friend. In a thousand ways is Love to be held a stranger, to be kept at a distance, and to be wholly abstained from. For he who plunges into love, perishes more dreadfully than if he leapt from a rock. Away with you, Love, if you please; keep your owns property to yourself. Love, never be you a friend of mine; some there are, however, whom, in their misery, you may keep miserable and wretched — those whom you have easily rendered submissive to yourself. My fixed determination is to apply my mind to my advancement in life, although, in that, great labour is undergone by the mind. Good men wish these things for themselves, gain, credit, and honour, glory, and esteem; these are the rewards of the upright. It delights me, then, the more, to live together with the upright rather than with the deceitful promulgators of lies.
Enter PHILTO.
PHILTO
looking about . Where has this man betaken himself out of doors from the house?
LYSITELES
coming up to him . I am here, father; command me what you will, and I shall cause no delay to you, nor will I hide myself in any skulking-place out of your sight.
PHILTO
You will be doing what is consonant to the rest of your conduct if you reverence your father. By your duty to me, my son, I wish you, for my sake, not to hold any converse with profligate men, either in the street or in the Forum. I know this age — what its manners are. The bad man wishes the good man to be bad, that he may be like himself. The wicked, the rapacious, the covetous, and the envious, disorder and confound the morals of the age: a crew gaping for gain, they hold the sacred thing as profane — the public advantage as the private emolument. At these things do I grieve, these are the matters that torment me. These things am I constantly repeating both day and night, that you may use due precaution against them. They only deem it right to keep their hands off that which they cannot touch with their hands; as to the rest, seize it, carry it off, keep it, be off and go hide, that is the word with them. These things, when I behold them, draw tears from me, because I have survived to see such a race of men. Why have I not rather descended to the dead ere this? For these men praise the manners of our ancestors, and defile those same persons whom they commend. With regard, then, to these pursuits, I enjoin you not to taint your disposition with them. Live after my fashion, and according to the ancient manners; what I am prescribing to you, the same do you remember and practise. I have no patience with these fashionable manners, upsetting preconceived notions, with which good men are now disgracing themselves. If you follow these my injunctions to you, many a good maxim will take root in your breast.
LYSITELES
From my earliest youth, even up to this present age, I have always, father, paid all submission to the injunctions you have given. So far as my nature was concerned, I considered that I was free; so far as your injunctions were concerned, I deemed it proper that my mind should pay all submission to you.
PHILTO
The man who is struggling with his inclination from his earliest age, whether he ought to prefer to be so, as his inclination thinks it proper that he should be, or whether, rather so as his parents and his relations wish him to be — if his inclination conquers that man, it is all over with him; he is the slave of his inclination and not of himself. But if he conquers his inclination, he truly lives and shall be famed as a conqueror of conquerors. If you have conquered your inclination rather than your inclination you, you have reason to rejoice. ’Tis better by far that you should be such as you ought to be, than such as pleases your inclination. Those who conquer the inclination will ever be esteemed better men than those whom the inclination subdues.
LYSITELES
I have ever esteemed these maxims as the shield of my youthful age; never to betake myself to any place where vice was the order of the day, never to go to stroll about at night, nor to take from another that which is his. I have taken all precautions, my father, that I might not cause you uneasiness; I have ever kept your precepts in due preservation by my own rule of conduct.
PHILTO
And do you reproach me, because you have acted aright? For yourself have you done so, not for me: my life, indeed, is nearly past; this matter principally concerns your own. Keep on overlaying good deeds with other good deeds, that the rain may not come through. He is the upright man who is not content with it, however upright and however honest he may chance to be. He who readily gives satisfaction to himself, is not the upright man, nor is he really honest: he who thinks but meanly of himself, in him is there a tendency to well-doing.
LYSITELES
For this reason, father, I have thought that since there is a certain thing that I wish for, I would request it of you.
PHILTO
What is it? I am already longing to give assent.
LYSITELES
A young man here, of noble family, my friend and years’ mate, who has managed his own affairs but heedlessly and unthinkingly — I wish, father, to do him a service, if you are not unwilling.
PHILTO
From your own means, I suppose?
LYSITELES
From my own means — for what is yours is mine, and all mine is yours.
PHILTO
What is he doing? Is he in want?
LYSITELES
He is in want.
PHILTO
Had he property?
LYSITELES
He had.
PHILTO
How did he lose it? Was he connected with public business, or with commercial matters? Had he merchandise or wares to sell, when he lost his property?
LYSITELES
None of these.
PHILTO
What then?
LYSITELES
I’ faith, my father, by his good-nature. Besides, to indulge his tastes, he wasted some part of it in luxury.
PHILTO
By my troth now! a fellow spoken of boldly, and as on familiar terms; — one, indeed, who has never dissipated his fortune by any good means, and is now in want. I cannot brook that, with qualities of that description, he should be your friend.
LYSITELES
’Tis because he is without any bad disposition that I wish to relieve his wants.
PHILTO
He deserves ill of a beggar who gives him what to eat or to drink; for he both loses that which he gives and prolongs for the other a life of misery. I do not say this because I am unwilling and would not readily do what you desire; but when I apply these expressions to that same person, I am warning you beforehand, so to have compassion on others, that others may not have to pity you.
LYSITELES
I am ashamed to desert him, and to deny him aid in his adversity.
PHILTO
I’ troth, shame is preferable to repentance by just as many letters as it consists of.
LYSITELES
In good sooth, father, by the care of the Gods, and of my forefathers, and your own, I may say that we possess much property, honestly obtained. If you do a service to a friend, it ought not to make you repent that you have done so; it ought rather to cause you shame if you do not do it.
PHILTO
If from great wealth you subtract something, does it become more or less?
LYSITELES
Less, father. But do you know what is wont to be repeated to the niggardly citizen? “That which thou hast mayst thou not have, and mayst thou have that misfortune which thou hast not; since thou canst neither endure it to be enjoyed by thyself nor by another.”
PHILTO
I know, indeed, that so it usually is: but, my son, he is the truly niggardly man that has nought with which to pay his dues.
LYSITELES
By the care of the Gods, we have, father, both enough for us to enjoy ourselves, and with which to do kind offices to kind-hearted men.
PHILTO
Troth, I am not able to refuse you anything that you; ask of me. Whose poverty do you wish to relieve? Speak out boldly to your father.
LYSITELES
That of this young man Lesbonicus, the son of Charmides, who lives there. He points to the house of CHARMIDES.
PHILTO
Why, hasn’t he devoured both what he had, and what he had not?
LYSITELES
Censure him not, my father: many things happen to a man which he likes, many, too, which he does not like.
PHILTO
Troth, you say falsely, son; and you are doing so now not according to your usual wont. For the prudent man, i’ faith, really frames his own fortunes for himself: many things, therefore, do not happen which he does not like, unless he is a bungling workman.
LYSITELES
Much labour is requisite for this workmanship in him who seeks to be a clever workman in fashioning his life — but he is still very young.
PHILTO
Not by years but by disposition is wisdom acquired. Age is the relish of wisdom — wisdom is the nutriment of old age. However, come, say what you wish now to give him.
LYSITELES
Nothing at all, father. Do you only not hinder me from accepting it if he should give anything to me.
PHILTO
And will you be relieving his poverty by that, if you shall accept anything of him?
LYSITELES
By that very means, my father.
PHILTO
Faith, I wish that you would instruct me in that method.
LYSITELES
Certainly. Do you know of what family he is born?
PHILTO
I know — of an extremely honourable one.
LYSITELES
He has a sister — a fine young woman now grown up: I wish, father, to take her without a portion for my wife.
PHILTO
A wife without a portion?
LYSITELES
Just so — your riches saved as well. By these means you will be conferring an extreme favour on him, and in no way could you help him to greater advantage.
PHILTO
Am I to suffer you to take a wife without a portion?
LYSITELES
You must suffer it, father; and by these means you will be giving an estimable character to our family.
PHILTO
I could give utterance to many a learned saying, and very fluently too: this old age of mine retains stories of old and ancient times. But, since I see that you are courting friendship and esteem for our family, although I have been opposed to you, I thus give my decision — I will permit you; ask for the girl, and marry her.
LYSITELES
May the Gods preserve you to me. But, to this favour add one thing.
PHILTO
But what is this one thing?
LYSITELES
I will tell you. Do you go to him, do you solicit him, and do you ask for her yourself.
PHILTO
Think of that now.
LYSITELES
You will transact it much more speedily: all will be made sure of that you do. One word of yours in this matter will be of more consequence than a hundred of mine.
PHILTO
See, now, how, in my kindness, I have undertaken this matter. My assistance shall be given.
LYSITELES
You really are a kind father. This is the house here he dwells. He points to the house of CHARMIDES. Lesbonicus is his name. Mind and attend to the business; I will await you at home. (Exit.)
PHILTO, alone.
PHILTO
These things are not for the best, nor as I think they ought to be; but still, they are better than that which is downright bad. But this one circumstance consoles myself and my thoughts-namely, that he who counsels in respect to a son nothing else but that which pleases himself alone, only plays the fool; he becomes wretched in mind, and yet he is no nearer bringing it about. He is preparing a very inclement winter for his own old age when he arouses that unseasonable storm. The door of the house of CHARMIDES opens. But the house is opened to which I was going; most conveniently, Lesbonicus himself is coming out of doors with his servant. PHILTO retires to a distance.
Enter LESBONICUS and STASIMUS.
LESBONICUS
’Tis less than fifteen days since you received from Callicles forty minæ for this house; is it not as I say, Stasimus?
STASIMUS
When I consider, I think I remember that it was so.
LESBONICUS
What has been done with it?
STASIMUS
It has been eaten and drunk up — spent away in unguents, washed away in baths. The fishmonger and the baker have carried it off: butchers, too, and cooks, green-grocers, perfumers, and poulterers; ’twas quickly consumed. I’ faith! that money was made away with not less speedily than if you were to throw a poppy among the ants.
LESBONICUS
By my troth, less has been spent on those items than six minæ?
STASIMUS
Besides, what have you given to your mistresses?
LESBONICUS
That I am including as well in it.
STASIMUS
Besides, what have I pilfered of it?
LESBONICUS
Aye, that item is a very heavy one.
STASIMUS
That cannot so appear to you, if you make all due deductions, unless you think that your money is everlasting. Aside. Too late and unwisely, — a caution that should have been used before, — after he has devoured his substance, he reckons up the account too late.
LESBONICUS
The account, however, of this money is by no means clear.
STASIMUS
I’ faith, the account is very clear: the money’s gone. Did you not receive forty minæ from Callicles, and did he not receive from you the house in possession?
LESBONICUS
Very good.
PHILTO
aside . Troth, I think our neighbour has sold his house. When his father shall come from abroad, his place is in the beggar’s gate, unless, perchance, he should creep into his son’s stomach.
STASIMUS
There were a thousand Olympic drachmæ paid to the banker, which you were owing upon account.
LESBONICUS
Those, I suppose, that I was security for?
STASIMUS
Say, rather, “Those that I paid down” — for that young man whom you used to say was so rich.
LESBONICUS
It was so done.
STASIMUS
Yes, just to be squandered away.
LESBONICUS
That was done as well. But I saw him in a pitiable state, and I did have pity on him.
STASIMUS
You have pity on others, and you have neither pity nor shame for yourself.
PHILTO
aside . ’Tis time to accost him.
LESBONICUS
Is this Philto that is coming here? Troth, ’tis he himself.
STASIMUS
I’ faith, I could wish he was my slave, together with his savings.
PHILTO
Philto right heartily wishes health to both master and servant, Lesbonicus and Stasimus.
LESBONICUS
May the Gods give you, Philto, whatever you may wish for. How is your son?
PHILTO
He wishes well to you.
LESBONICUS
In good sooth, he does for me what I do for him in return!
STASIMUS
aside . That phrase, “He wishes well,” is worthless, unless a person does well too. I, too, “wish” to be a free man; I wish in vain. He, perhaps, might wish to become frugal; he would wish to no purpose.
PHILTO
My son has sent me to you to propose an alliance and bond of friendship between himself and your family. He wishes to take your sister for his wife; and I have the same feelings, and I desire it.
LESBONICUS
I really don’t understand your ways; amid your prosperity you are laughing at my adversity.
PHILTO
I am a man: you are a man. So may Jupiter love me, I have neither come to laugh at you, nor do I think you deserving of it! But as to what I said, my son begged me to ask for your sister as his wife.
LESBONICUS
It is right that I should know the state of my own circumstances. My position is not on an equal footing with yours; seek some other alliance for yourselves.
STASIMUS
to LESBONICUS . Are you really sound in mind or intellect to refuse this proposal? For I perceive that he has been found for you a very friend in need.
LESBONICUS
Get away hence, and go hang yourself.
STASIMUS
Faith, if I should commence to go, you would be forbidding me.
LESBONICUS
Unless you want me, Philto, for anything else, I have given you my answer.
PHILTO
I trust, Lesbonicus, that you will one day be more obliging to me than I now find you to be. For both to act unwisely and to talk unwisely, Lesbonicus, are sometimes neither of them profitable.
STASIMUS
Troth, he says what’s true.
LESBONICUS
I will tear out your eye if you add one word.
STASIMUS
Troth, but I will talk; for if I may not be allowed to do so as I am, then I will submit to be called the one-eyed man.
PHILTO
Do you now say this, that your position and means are not on an equal footing with ours?
LESBONICUS
I do say so.
PHILTO
Well, suppose, now, you were to come to a building to a public banquet, and a wealthy man by chance were to come there as your neighbour. The banquet is set on table, one that they style a public one. Suppose that dainties were heaped up before him by his dependents, and suppose any-thing pleased you that was so heaped up before him, would you eat, or would you keep your place next to this wealthy man, going without your dinner?
LESBONICUS
I should eat, unless he were to forbid me doing so.
STASIMUS
But I, by my faith, even if he were to forbid me, would eat and cram with both cheeks stuffed out; and what pleased him, that, in especial, would I lay hold of beforehand; nor would I yield to him one jot of my very existence. At table it befits no one to be bashful; for there the decision is about things both divine and human.
PHILTO
You say what is the fact.
STASIMUS
I will tell you without any subterfuge: I would make place for him on the highway, on the footpath, in the canvass for public honors; but as to what concerns the stomach — by my troth, not this much shows the breadth of his finger-nail , unless he should first have thrashed me with his fists. With provisions at the present prices, a feast is a fortune without incumbrances.
PHILTO
Always, Lesbonicus, do you take care and think this, that that is the best, according as you yourself are the most deserving: if that you cannot attain to, at least be as near as possible to the most deserving. And now, Lesbonicus, I wish you to grant and accept these terms which I propose, and which I ask of you. The Gods are rich; wealth and station befit the Gods: but we poor mortal beings are, as it were, the salt-cellar for the salt of life. The moment that we have breathed forth this, the beggar is held of equal value at Acheron with the most wealthy man when dead.
STASIMUS
aside . It will be a wonder if you don’t carry your riches there with you. When you are dead, you may, perhaps, be as good as your name imports.
PHILTO
Now, that you may understand that position and means have no place here, and that we do not undervalue your alliance; I ask for your sister without a marriage-portion. May the matter turn out happily. Do I understand her to be promised? Why are you silent?
STASIMUS
O immortal Gods, what a proposal!
PHILTO
Why don’t you say, “May the Gods prosper it, I agree?”
STASIMUS
aside . Alas! when there was no advantage in the expression, he used to say, “I agree;” now, when there is advantage in it, he is not able to say so.
LESBONICUS
Since you think me, Philto, worthy of an alliance with you, I return you many thanks. But though this fortune of mine has sadly diminished through my folly, I have, Philto, a piece of land near the city here; that I will give as a portion to my sister: for, after all my follies, that alone, besides my existence, is left me.
PHILTO
Really I care nothing at all about a portion.
LESBONICUS
I am determined to give her one.
STASIMUS
whispers to LESBONICUS . And are you ready, master, to sever that nurse from us which is supporting us? Take care how you do it. What are we ourselves to eat in future?
LESBONICUS
to STASIMUS . Once more, will you hold your tongue? Am I to be rendered accountable to you?
STASIMUS
aside . We are evidently done for, unless I devise something or other. Philto, I want you. He remeoves to a distance, and beckons to PHILTO.
PHILTO
If you wish aught, Stasimus.
STASIMUS
Step a little this way.
PHILTO
By all means.
STASIMUS
I tell you this in secrecy, that neither he nor any one else may learn it of you.
PHILTO
Trust me boldly with anything you please.
STASIMUS
By Gods and men I warn you, not to allow that piece of land ever to become yours or your son’s. I’ll tell you my reasons for this matter.
PHILTO
Troth, I should like to hear them.
STASIMUS
First of all then, when at any time the ground is being ploughed, in every fifth furrow the oxen die.
PHILTO
Preserve me from it.
STASIMUS
The gate of Acheron is in that land of ours. Then the grapes, before they are ripe, hang in a putrid state.
LESBONICUS
in a low voice . He is persuading the man to something, I think. Although he is a rogue, still he is not unfaithful to me.
STASIMUS
Hear the rest. Besides that, when elsewhere the harvest of wheat is most abundant, there it comes up less by one-fourth than what you have sowed.
PHILTO
Ah! bad habits ought to be sown on that spot, if in the sowing they can be killed.
STASIMUS
And never is there any person to whom that piece of land belongs, but that his affairs turn out most unfortunate. Of those to whom it has belonged, some have gone away in banishment; some are dead outright; some, again, have hanged themselves. See this man, now, to whom it belongs, how he has been brought to a regular backgammoned state.
PHILTO
Preserve me from this piece of land.
STASIMUS
“Preserve me from it,” you would say still more, if you were to hear everything from me. For there every other tree has been blasted with lightning; the hogs die there most shockingly of inflammation in the throat; the sheep are scabby, as bare of all wool, see, as is this hand of mine. And then, besides, there is not one of the Syrian natives, a race which is the most hardy of men, who could exist there for six months; so surely do all die there of the solstitial fever.
PHILTO
I believe, Stasimus, that it is so; but the Campanian race much outdoes that of the Syrians in hardiness. But, really, that piece of land, as I have heard you describe it, is one to which it were proper for all wicked men to be sent for the public good. Just as they tell of the Islands of the Blest, where all meet together who have passed their lives uprightly: on the other hand, it seems proper that all evildoers should be packed off there, since it is a place of such a character.
STASIMUS
’Tis a very receptacle of calamity. What need is there of many words? Look for any bad thing whatsoever, there you may find it.
PHILTO
But, i’ faith, you may find it there and elsewhere too.
STASIMUS
Please, take care not to say that I told you of this.
PHILTO
You have told it me in perfect secrecy.
STASIMUS
For he, indeed pointing at LESBONICUS , wishes it to be got rid of from himself, if he can find any one to impose upon about it.
PHILTO
I’ faith, this land shall never become my property.
STASIMUS
Aye, if you keep in your senses. Aside. I’ faith, I have cleverly frightened the old fellow away from this land; for, if my master had parted with it, there is nothing for us to live upon.
PHILTO
Lesbonicus, I now return to you.
LESBONICUS
Tell me, if you please, what has he been saying to you?
PHILTO
What do you suppose? He is a man; he wishes to become a free man, but he has not the money to give.
LESBONICUS
And I wish to be rich, but all in vain.
STASIMUS
aside . You might have been, if you had chosen; now, since you have nothing, you cannot be.
LESBONICUS
What are you talking about to yourself, Stasimus?
STASIMUS
About that which you were saying just now: if you had chosen formerly, you might have been rich; now you are wishing too late.
PHILTO
No terms can be come to with me about the marriage-portion; whatever pleases you, do you transact it yourself with my son. Now, I ask for your sister for my son; and may the matter turn out well. What now? are you still considering?
LESBONICUS
What — about that matter? Since you will have it so — may the Gods prosper it — I promise her.
PHILTO
Never, by my troth, was a son born so ardently longed for by any one, as was that expression “I promise her,” when born for me.
STASIMUS
The Gods will prosper all your plans.
PHILTO
So I wish. Come this way with me, Lesbonicus, that a day may be agreed on for the nuptials, in the presence of Lysiteles: this agreement we will ratify on that same day. (Exit PHILTO.)
LESBONICUS
Now, Stasimus, go you there points to the house which he has sold to CALLICLES to the house of Callicles, to my sister; tell her how this matter has been arranged.
STASIMUS
I will go.
LESBONICUS
And congratulate my sister.
STASIMUS
Very well.
LESBONICUS
Tell Callicles to meet me ——
STASIMUS
But rather do you go now ——
LESBONICUS
That he may see what is necessary to be done about the portion.
STASIMUS
Do go now.
LESBONICUS
For I have determined not to give her without a portion.
STASIMUS
But rather do you go now.
LESBONICUS
And I will never allow it to be a detriment to her by reason of ——
STASIMUS
Do be off now.
LESBONICUS
My recklessness ——
STASIMUS
Do go now.
LESBONICUS
It seems by no means just, but that, since I have done wrong ——
STASIMUS
Do go now.
LESBONICUS
It should be chiefly a detriment to myself.
STASIMUS
Do go now.
LESBONICUS
O my father! and shall I ever see you again?
STASIMUS
Do go now. Go — go now.
LESBONICUS
I am going. Do you take care of that which I have asked you. I shall be here directly. (Exit LESBONICUS.)
STASIMUS
At length I have prevailed on him to go. In the name of the immortal Gods, i’ faith, ’tis a matter well managed by wrongful means of performance, inasmuch as our piece of land is safe; although even now ’tis still a very doubtful matter what may be the result of this affair. But, if the land is parted with, ’tis all over with my neck; I must carry a buckler in foreign lands, a helmet too, and my baggage. He will be running away from the city when the nuptials have been celebrated; he will be going hence to extreme and utter ruin, somewhere or other, to serve as a soldier, either to Asia or to Cilicia. I will go there looking at the door of the house bouight by CALLICLES , where he has ordered me to go, although I detest this house ever since he has driven us out of our abode. (Exit into the house of CHARMIDES.)