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Annalise left that night with a smile on her face but worry on her mind. Before she went to her car, she looked at Veronica and spoke.
“So, are we an item?” Annalise asked.
“Yes,” said Veronica, “but just know that we both have our own lives. If I’m not around all the time, please don’t get upset with me.”
Annalise nodded. “I don’t plan to.”
"Thank you. That's all I ask of you, Annalise. It'll be hard. I struggle with balance, but I think it'll all be okay. And you should also talk to your mom. I can see it in your eyes. There are things you want to tell her, but you're not doing it. It's going to tear you apart."
Annalise nodded, immediately feeling regret as she heard the sting of those words. “I’m trying.
"Don't just try, Annalise. Do it. I want you to do this for me. I want you to tell her," Veronica replied.
Annalise nodded. “I’ll try.”
"Good. Maybe by our next date, your mother will know," she said.
Annalise agreed to that. “When do you want to go out again?”
“Maybe next weekend. Depends upon work,” Veronica replied.
Annalise agreed to those terms. “Hopefully it’ll be sometime soon,” she said.
After they said goodbye, Annalise felt both happy and relieved, but also worried. How the hell would she tell her mom about her relationship? Annalise feared the worse, mostly because she didn't know how her mom felt about gay people. She should ask, but then again, it might be too much.
Annalise went home, her mind racing. She knew her mom wanted to see her tomorrow, so that's where she'd be. The worry in her heart made her wonder how things would pan out from here. Her mother would either be supportive or completely ostracize her, and she didn't want the latter.
The workday seemed average, but Annalise could see Veronica looking at her. She felt the guilt in her heart, knowing that she was scared of what would happen when she told her mom the truth.
The anxiety of the moment loomed over her, and when she got to her mother’s home that day, knocking on the door, her mother appeared, grinning at her.
“There you are,” she said.
"Hey, Mom. Sorry, I'm late. I had a busy day at the office."
“Come on in,” her mother said.
Annalise sat on the couch, her mother engaging in her usual display of politeness by giving her food and drink. Annalise took a sip of the wine and eating the cheese her mother laid out.
"So, how are things with the job? It seems like you're kept busy."
“Good. Same things as usual.”
“How is Veronica doing by the way? Did you get a chance to talk to her?” her mother asked.
Annalise felt her body start to grow rigid at those words.
"Yeah, I did. It's not a big deal. Veronica's busy, that's all," Annalise replied.
"I thought so. That's usually how those things go. I'd love to see Veronica again if she's ever got some free time," Annalise's mother said.
Annalise nodded. “Yeah, she’s changed quite a bit. But when I talked to her, it seems like only yesterday we parted ways,” Annalise said.
Her mother took a sip of her wine, looking at Annalise with a smile.
"You know, I am glad you found her again. You two were such great friends back in the day. I'm happy for you."
Annalise felt her body start to stiffen at those words. It was her chance. She could spill it all now about her relationship.
However, Annalise didn't. Something was possessing her, telling her not to do it, despite her desire to do so.
“I know, Mom. I’m glad too. I sometimes wish we could be closer. The two of us were very tight.”
“I know, but sometimes that’s what happens when you grow up,” her mother explained.
Annalise didn’t know how to tell her mom that she was head over heels for Veronica, but as she sat there, she pondered the best way to go about saying it.
"Hey Mom, have you ever...felt strongly for a person? Like stronger than friendship?" she asked.
Her mother looked at her, eyes widening.
“You have a crush on someone, don’t you?” she said with a smile.
Annalise rolled her eyes. "No, Mom. It's not like that. I want to know what this feeling is. It's strange, but I want to be around this person, but I'm scared of moving forward with them. I'm scared to speak the truth."
Her mother moved in, hugging her. "Listen, Annalise, if there is something that you need to say, you should say it. Hell, I won't even care if you tell me that you like a woman or something. You should be honest with me. I don't know what you young adults are into these days, but it's better to be honest than to hold yourself back," her mother said.
Annalise looked at her mother, seeing the determination in her mother's eyes. It was strange, in a sense. She felt like no matter what, her mother would support her.
But she was afraid. Would her mother support her?
“It’s nothing, Mom.”
Her mother looked upset, and Annalise felt ashamed.
"Fine. Well, you can tell me when you're ready. Don't worry. I won't pressure you," Annalise's mother said.
Annalise felt like she made the biggest mistake when she saw her mother's pursed face, the sorrowful look that was obvious. It made her feel a hell of a lot of regrets, and a lot of feelings that she didn't know how to explain.
The rest of the evening was quiet, with Annalise trying hard to figure out how to say it. It would be the first time she’s ever revealed something like that to her mom, or anyone and the fact that she was still afraid to make her feel weak, and she knew that if Veronica found out, things would only get worse.