I honestly thought after the shop girl left, we’d continue our little game.
But Cade helped me redress. I didn’t say a word while he put my clothing back in order. I couldn’t look away from the lust and reverence on his face.
“Are we done?”
“Not even close, but we are finished with this little game. It went a lot farther than I’d anticipated.” He winked at me. “And anticipation is the name of the game.”
“I don’t think I like this game anymore.”
Cade laughed and pulled me up. He smoothed my skirt down and gave me a pat on the butt. “Let’s go, sweetness.”
I explained to the shop girl that the dresses weren’t quite right as Cade dragged me out the door. Minutes later, he put me in my car, and the cold leather calmed my hot wet flesh. I couldn’t believe he’d ended our game and the date without either of us getting to come. Damn him and his anticipation.
I needed to come. I was even thinking about finishing myself off sitting right here in the car. The second he got into his SUV and pulled away, my fingers were going straight between my thighs. It wouldn’t take long, nobody would know.
He squatted down next to me. “Listen carefully to what I’m saying because I want you to follow these instructions exactly. Do you understand?”
If these orders were anything like the rest of the ones from today I had no doubt they would be difficult for me to accomplish and I’d love every second of it. “Yes.”
He nodded. “Now, go home, make yourself dinner, and change into comfy clothes. Not lingerie. Do you have some sort of pajama pants and maybe a tank top?”
“Yes. I do.”
“Wear that, no panties, no bra.”
My laundry loads were going to be significantly lighter if I never got to wear undergarments anymore. “Okay.”
He raised one eyebrow at me. I got the message loud and clear. Oops.
“Yes.”
“Relax tonight and when you’re ready to go to bed, I want you to touch yourself.”
My brain clouded over with a holy-crap haze. I couldn’t believe he was telling me to go home and masturbate. I didn’t even want to wait that long.
“Vanessa. Not before. Wait until bedtime. You can use toys if you want, along with your hands. I want you to make yourself come. Hard.” Cade’s voice had gone from professorial to dirty Dom in the space of a sentence.
Oh yeah. “Okay. Yes.”
“Good girl. Then I want you to write down exactly what you did and how and email me. I want to be able to read it, savor it. And learn what you like.”
A special kind of thrill tickled low in my belly. My masturbation had always been my own. I didn’t talk about it, and until Cade, I’d certainly never shared it. Now he was telling me to pleasure myself, but for him. Knowing I had some power to turn him on, like in the dressing room, put an extra burn to the excitement. “And jack off to it?”
That look that was becoming familiar, when he squinted at me and I’m sure he was pondering what was going on in my mind, came across his face again. “Would you like that, baby?”
Holy porn movie in my head, would I ever. “Yes.”
“You’re a dirty girl. And I’m going to tap into all that lovely filth in your mind.”
“But, will you? Jack off, I mean.” Oh, yeah, I was such a slut for a wonderful mind fuck.
“We’ll see, sweetness. Get going now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Cade shut my door and waited for me to start the car and back out of the parking spot then he got in his truck.
I may have broken a couple of speed limits on my way home with all the squirming I did in my seat pressing that gas pedal to the mats. Bedtime was definitely going to come early tonight.
––––––––
I did exactly as he said. I even took a warm bath to relax, but my body was so high strung I didn’t sit in the tub for more than fifteen minutes. Was seven o’clock too early to go to bed?
I flipped on the TV to try to distract myself. Lucky for me there was one of those design reality shows marathon on. I’d seen all the episodes, which allowed my mind to wander to my own line. Definitely for dirty girls and it would be curvyliscious.
I grabbed my sketchpad and revised the leather spanking skirt design from last weekend. I added a ruffled bustle with a drape that flowed down over the circle I’d left open for a bare ass to be exposed. Now the skirt was suitable to be worn in public, only the wearer, and maybe her Dom, would know she was ready for spanking.
Through the magic of television and sketching I made it to ten o’clock before I slipped between the sheets. Not so early that I felt like an old maid going to bed before the sun was set, but not so late that I’d gone completely crazy.
Fresh 500 thread count sheets rubbed softly across my skin as I laid down and set my head on the pillow. I pulled the comforter up and suddenly felt self-conscious. What the hell? It’s not like I hadn’t masturbated in this bed a million times. I made myself come most nights before sleep. I was certainly aroused enough. I’d been and stayed wet since I changed out of my jeans.
No one had ever told me to masturbate and then tell them about it. It was weird, killing the buzz between my legs I’d been riding all afternoon.
Maybe I should simply try to go to sleep. I closed my eyes but instead of sheep jumping over a pastoral fence I saw Cade looming before me, a heated gaze filled with disappointment.
“What are you doing, sweet Vanessa?” my imaginary Cade asked.
“Trying to go to sleep. This is weird. Go away.” I turned my head away, which of course didn’t do a thing, since this Cade was in my head.
“Sleep is not what I had in mind for you tonight.” The voice coming from my vision was dark, and frankly, a little cranky.
“Yeah, well. It’s what I’m going to do.”
“It’s not your choice, sweetness. You chose to give yourself to me. You and your orgasms. I asked for one tonight, and I expect you to give it to me.”
Imaginary Cade was right. I’d made a commitment a few hours ago and I was already pussing out. That’s what the old wussy Nessie would do. I didn’t want to be her anymore. I called upon the sexpot I knew lived deep inside, the one who’d been begging to come out and play. She knew how to please Cade, and in the process, get gratification for doing all the naughty things Nessie was afraid to do.
I drew in a deep breath and expelled the scared side of me with the exhale. I imagined myself at my sexiest, hair tousled, skin flushed, eyes dark with desire and every kickin’ curve enticing. What would a voluptuous Vanessa say to Cade? Aha. I got it. “Because it’s yours to give and take.”
Imaginary Cade glowed, he was so happy with me. “That’s it. Now, spread your legs and slide your fingers into that pussy that I know is wet and wanting.”
My creative mind pushed all that awkwardness away and spurred me to start the task at hand. Not only for my pleasure, but Cade’s.
The first touch had me moaning. I was so sensitive that this could be quick. I stroked and played. I imagined Cade in my head telling me to draw it out, not to come yet. Fantasy Cade told me to get out a toy. He pushed me on and on, until I came harder than I could ever remember coming in my life. Absolutely amazing.
If this is what orgasm denial did to me, I couldn’t wait until Cade told me once again that I wasn’t allowed to come.
––––––––
I woke up the next morning, warm and satisfied. I was awake ahead of my alarm and had time to give myself another orgasm before I had to get up and shower. I lazily pushed my hand between my legs again, but after only a few quick strokes, a grave voice sounded in my head.
“Ah ah ah, naughty girl. Did I say you could come again this morning?”
Shit. Surely, this still counted as last night. I decided it did. I stroked and rubbed and came close, but the orgasm wouldn’t come. Last night’s must have been too explosive. Apparently, I hadn’t recovered yet. Yeah. That was it.
I showered quickly, grabbed some breakfast to go and made my way to work. The second I sat down at the computer, I opened up my personal email and started typing about the night’s escapades.
Cade,
Last night was amazing. You asked me to write and tell you all about it. Here goes.
I did a nice slow warm up, stroking all around my newly bare pussy lips, but not inside. I hadn't dared to before because of your rule.
I knew I needed to take my time because I wasn't wet yet.
I was cruelly wet earlier at the restaurant. I thought it might run down my leg when we walked back to the car. Being bare, no panties, and such a short dress literally got my juices going.
Anyway, I teased myself for a long while, then occasionally started passing over my clit and then back to my lips.
I teased myself forever and finally had to reach down to my entrance to see how wet I'd gotten. If it wasn't much, I'd have to punish myself with more teasing. No need, I was nice and juicy.
I pulled the juices up with my fingers to my clit and circled round and round making my whole pussy nice and slick. Then I stroked back and forth for a while, slowly, letting the warmth and arousal build.
No way was I rubbing out a fast come, although I could have. I wanted this to last.
More in a while, gotta get back to work now.
Anticipation is a sweet bitch, isn't it?
~ V, feeling slightly naughty
I hit send and then busied myself with work for an hour. I breezed through what would usually take me most of the day to do. Guess I needed some motivation to get things done. Maybe the company should make orgasms or rather orgasm denial part of the perks. I know I’d get a lot more done. A minute before lunch I hopped back into my email to continue my assignment.
Okay, back to last night.
So, I stroked myself for a while, sort of drifting in this sensual haze, building my arousal. If I had sped up, I could have come at any time, but after three long days of utter horniness, I didn't want it to end. I was close to coming several times, but delighted in torturing myself by backing off. I imagined you in my head telling me I wasn't allowed to come yet.
Even doing that, wasn't enough for what I wanted last night. I wanted to come long and hard.
So I got out a toy.
It's a small vibrator I've had for years. I like it because it's got this small curved nub at the top and has intense vibrations.
Here's where it gets really interesting.
I rolled over and started stroking my back entrance. Light feather touches at first. It's so soft right now because of the coconut oil I use to moisturize and my recent Brazilian.
I reached further and pulled the wetness from my pussy back, circling around my anus. Again and again, I lubed my fingers and my ass. When I was ready, I pushed one finger in, only the tip, then back out. Back in a little further, and back out. In a third time and I stayed, pumping my finger slowly. It felt so deliciously naughty.
I needed more. I pulled out and dipped my fingers back into my cunt for more juices. When they were coated, I slid back to my asshole and pushed two fingers in. Deep. Ah, the stretch was incredible. I scissored my fingers back and forth feeling the slick sensitive skin inside. I pumped my fingers in earnest then, opening myself, preparing for the next step.
I couldn't keep in the moans at this point. It was all too intense.
But I wanted more, so I withdrew again and grabbed the vibrator.
Mmm, I'm getting myself so wet writing this. I might have to go make myself come again now so I can finish.
More later.
~ V, (aka the squirming sub)
Whimper. Maybe the office wasn’t the best place to do this. Was it warm in here? Thinking about last night and the way Cade made me feel yesterday had me hot and bothered. I needed to find a way to cool down, that did not include a quick trip to the powder room to rub one out.
Coffee break. I pushed away from my desk, grabbed my cell phone and headed to the corner coffee shop. I rang Danica’s number on the way. She only lived a few blocks from downtown and if I begged properly, she’d come and meet me for an afternoon caffeine indulgence.
“Nessie, I’m so glad you finally deigned to call me. I want to hear all about your date with Cade. Meet me at the coffee shop.”
I laughed. “You truly are some sort of psychic, Dani. I’m on my way there and was calling you to come and meet me.”
“Sweet. I’m already there, flirting with Taylor, the latte boy.”
“I’m walking in now.”
Sure enough, Danica and her ample cleavage were leaning over the bar tempting a barista who couldn’t be more than about twenty-one. He was making googly eyes right back. I couldn’t blame him. Even half-covered, Danica’s breasts were pretty hypnotic.
Poor Taylor didn’t stand a chance.
“Dani, stop corrupting that poor boy.”
“But it’s so much fun.” She didn’t even look away. The two of them were gazing into each other’s eyes the way people who are about to get down and dirty do. I’d seen her do that with wait staff, shop clerks, high-powered executives, etc. a million times.
“Well, corrupt him into making me a latte.”
I copped a squat at a table right under the air conditioner and fiddled with the sugar packets. I didn’t have to wait long before Danica slid into the chair with two hot beverages in her hand. She still looked immaculate. Taylor looked a little shell shocked, but in that loving every minute of it way.
“Details, Nessie. If you try to get all vague on me, I will be upset.”
“What did you do to that poor boy?” Taylor leaned on the counter with his chin in his hand and a dreamy look on his face. Probably similar to the one I had last night.
Dani glanced over and tsked at him. Taylor straightened up and busied himself with cleaning the latte machine. “Nothing he didn’t want. Stop stalling and fill me in on your afternoon with the delectable Cade.”
Dani would be relentless until I spilled. “Did you know he and Angelina used to be lovers?”
“No shit? Huh. That explains...a lot. That’s some juicy gossip, but it is old news. I want to hear about Cade’s most recent lover.” Danica sucked the straw for her overly caffeinated beverage into her mouth, lifted the eyebrow in charge. It pulled the truth out of me every time.
“I’m nervous, Dani. I like this guy. But the things Angelina said...”
“Angelina is sort of the keeper of knowledge on everyone in the kink community. But you know, she’s not all powerful. You’re all grown up, you can make your own judgments. What do you think about him so far?”
The things Angelina had said and my actual experiences with Cade hadn’t exactly meshed. Dani was right. I was a grown woman, who’d made some specific and deliberate choices recently to do what I wanted and needed to make my life better. I trusted myself more than a possibly jealous ex-lover. “I like him, a lot. And I can’t believe how turned on I got by the play.”
Dani set down her cup, leaned forward and said, “Do tell.”
Even though I’d heard more of Dani’s sexual escapades than I could count I did feel my cheeks warm but, only about the same as with a couple of glasses of wine. I picked up my cup and took a sip to cover the sloppy smile I knew was blooming. “It was hardly anything. We sort of messed around in a dressing room. Do you think this is happening too fast? I probably should have made him chase me first.”
“A lot of Doms do love the chase, but you can work that into your play with him. Besides, I’m glad you didn’t wait, this has been a long time coming.” Danica laughed at her own double entendre.
I did too. “Dork.”
“Besides, Cade always gets what he wants, and it was clear he wanted you the second we walked in the door. You’ll have a lot of fun with him. Then when you guys go your separate ways you’ll be totally prepared for your next lover and the next and the next.”
It seemed like I needed to go into this relationship knowing it was doomed. I wasn’t specifically looking for love. It’s not like I haven’t sized up every man I’d ever met my entire life wondering if he was the one. I wanted to pretend that so badly, I’d fake it till I make it.
Yeah. I could do casual sex.
“Did you like the whole control thing? Cade is legendary for being fucking stoic.”
Huh. That’s not how I would have described how he was when we were together. “He tried really hard to make it all about me. But, I haven’t even seen his cock.”
“It’s not about sex for everyone. I’ve seen him at the club with some of his subs. Hoo boy, do those girls get off. That man has magic fingers. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cade come once. That man does not lose it, in any way, ever.”
I wanted to ask how sure she was about that. Danica was my best friend in the whole wide world. She was the one who dragged me into this lifestyle and she knew infinitely more about it than I did. A Money Penny voice inside my head told me to keep things to myself.
Cade had come for me. I mean, I assumed he had when we did the whole phone sex thing. It sounded like he did and he outright said so. I didn’t have any indication that he’d been lying about that. Why would he?
The Cade that Danica was describing was not the Cade I’d been having sexy times with. Was it that he was different with me or did he not let people see the real him? Either way I decided I had something special.
“The instructions and the way he told me what to do gets my motor revving. We discussed I don’t know what you’d call it, terms, I guess, beforehand. So, I’m in a BDSM relationship with him now. I’ve got myself a Dom, don’t I?”
“I love it. So do you have a real play date scheduled? Like at Angels?”
A lot of Dani’s life revolved around the club, she’d been trying to get me to go for years. Even the new Vanessa wasn’t ready for the world, even the kinky world, to see me getting off. I’d need to be pushed to do that. Maybe Cade would do exactly that. The thought scared and excited me. “Not exactly. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
“I’m telling ya, babe, people would pay to see you and Cade play.”
I kind of hoped to have more time to get to know Cade better in a one on one setting. I’d talk to him about it and see where it went. I’d leave myself open to it, but a club date was not my first choice. “We’ll see. I’ll talk to Cade and let you know.”
“Super. You know I’ll be there for you when you do. It’s not like I think Cade would hurt your or treat you wrong, or anything. But a club date can be intense, so know when you two do decide you’re ready, I got your back, chickadee.”
“Cool.” Best friends rocked.
A gaggle of office workers needing an afternoon kick began trickling into the shop and signaled that we’d been on this little coffee break plenty long. Besides, I still needed to finish writing to Cade about my evening. “All right, I’m gonna run back to work, I have, some, uh, homework to finish up.”
“You’ve got red blotches on your cheeks, Nessie.” That wasn’t friendly concern in Dani’s voice, it was pure unadulterated I-know-where-your-mind-is glee.
“Shut up,” I said and got up to leave.
“Have fun with your assignment.” Dani winked and waved. “Kisses.”
We hugged and I walked out the door to go finish up. Of course, Dani headed straight back to the bar and Taylor. That boy had no idea how she would eat him up. He’d probably enjoy it.
I wrote and re-wrote the remainder of the email to Cade in my head on my walk back. The coffee break had cooled my heated libido, but thinking about last night and telling Cade all about it had my panties getting wet again.
I sat down at my desk and opened my email. There was a message waiting.
Vanessa,
Tell me the rest of the story. Now.
Your next email had better have your happy ending.
Cade, your impatient Dom
Hmm. Impatient, huh? I liked the thought of him getting all worked up over my emails. I took my own sweet and spicy time writing the next one. Give him a tiny taste of the horrible denial he’d heaped on me. Ha. Take that mean ole Dom. This next part was definitely going to leave his tongue wagging.
Cade,
Hope you enjoy my happy ending. Lol.
I slid the vibrator through my folds to get it nice and wet. Then, on the count of three, I pushed the tip past the tight ring of my anus. It wasn't on yet, so it was a lot like a thick finger, but it gets wider quickly. I can't take all of it.
When I turned it on...amazing.
I turned back over and let the pillow hold the vibrator tight to my ass. If I rolled my hips, it would move inside me, enough to give me a jolt of pleasure.
I spread my legs and started rubbing my clit again slowly. I was in a sensual haze. I closed my eyes and let the endorphins flow through me.
I was close to coming, but I didn't want to yet. I needed it to last longer. I pressed down hard on my clit and held two fingers there keeping the pressure on but not moving. Then something happened that I'd never experienced. My ass spasmed.
It’s been similar when I come with the vibrator in my ass, but never like this. A surprised moan escaped my lips.
I gave my clit one quick stroke and pressed down on it again hard. More anal spasms. So damn good. I did it until my ass was pulsing almost uncontrollably. I could hardly breathe.
As amazing as it felt, I knew unless I came for real I would feel unfulfilled. I didn't know if I could do it. My mind was floating and I was out of control.
Then I imagined you commanding me to open eyes and look at you. My eyes slid open but I couldn't hold your gaze. It was still too much.
You commanded me again, but I shook my head. Then you petted me and said, "If you want to come you'll open your eyes and look at me.
I finally opened and focused in you. You rubbed my clit softly, then harder, then faster. My body began to tense, squeezing the insane vibrator in my ass so tight and the toy, infinitely more powerful.
You rubbed me harder and faster and finally I felt the quickening to orgasm. You kept up the pace and until I thought I would die if I didn't come and then it washed over me. I wanted to cry out but every muscled in my body locked. My back arched up off the bed, and everything exploded.
I couldn’t stop coming. My ass and pussy were pulsing and spasming.
There was no one and nothing, only a dark wonderful haze.
When I was a little more coherent, I reached back and turned off the vibrator. I whimpered when I slid it out.
The high I was riding was amazing. There were starry flashes of light behind my eyelids with a sleepy smile plastered on my face. I drifted off in that wonderful haze and the next thing I knew, the alarm went off this morning.
Fucking amazing.
~ V, your very satisfied sub
I hit send. My breath was coming in a little ragged and the seat of my chair was too hot. Maybe a quick trip to the water cooler would be beneficial. Or maybe a quick trip to the ladies room to take care of the little pulsing problem between my legs. I looked around the office to see who else was here. Would anyone notice? I pushed away from my desk, but the bing of an incoming email brought me rolling back.
Vanessa,
Call me.
Cade
Damn. I quickly read through the last email to see if there was something there that would have made him upset. I followed his directions. I’d written about my orgasm and almost given myself another one while doing it.
I frowned and licked my lips. The only thing to do was pull out my cell phone and call.
“Vanessa.” My name rolled out of the phone in a dark, rich, heated tone.
“Hi.” I did my best not to sound as turned on as I was. The combination of reliving my evening and hearing his voice had me close to reaching between my legs right here in the middle of cubical land.
“You, love, are a dirty, dirty girl.”
Was that a bad thing? No, surely not. I wanted to live up to that image with him. I turned my flirt on. “Am I? Why ever do you say that?”
“Aha. So I’m talking to the teasing Vanessa today, am I? Well, dirty girl. How would you feel if it was my cock inside your ass making it pulse and spasm instead of your vibrator?”
Sweet fuck. I crossed my legs at the ankle and squeezed my thighs together. My only answer was a tiny whimper. Because, yes, I could imagine that. It was so dark and forbidden and I wanted it.
“I want you bound when I do take your ass. Have you ever been tied up, dirty girl?”
“No.” Only in my fantasies. The ones that made me come the hardest.
“Are you ready to give that kind of control to me?”
Was I? Being tied up and fucked in the ass would be giving up more than control. I’d be giving him a whole hell of a lot of trust. “Maybe. Yes.” Ack. “I think so.”
“This Saturday, at Devils and Angels.” The finality of his voice took the whole scenario from fantasy to reality in a fleeting second.
“The club?” Duh. I needed the extra second the question gave me to stall. My emotions weren’t caught up with the high velocity of blood pumping through my heart and umm, other warm, wet places.
“Yes. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”
“I’m nervous.” It was the absolute truth, and I’d promised open communication. I was more than nervous. Downright scared was more like it. That kind of brutally kinky sex in front of other people would take more guts than I had.
“About what?”
A huge truckload of insecurities had built up over years. Knowing society considered me outside the norms of beauty, piled brick after brick onto that truck. I was working hard on accepting myself, but that didn’t mean society was doing the same. “People watching me.”
“Why?”
Don’t make me say it. Please. I was trying not to let him see any insecurities I had about not being skinny. I’d talked myself into letting down my guard when it was only him and I. If there were going to be other people there, and they would judge. Ugh. I hate that I felt this way.
“Does Saturday happen to be a BBW event again?” The discovery that there were actually people out there that not only liked, but got turned on by women of my size had become a comfort zone I was hoping for.
“No, there’s not special event. There will only be members and their guests. It’s a regular night. What’s this about, Vanessa?”
Cade was level ten hot, and he thought I was sexy. He’d never understand. “Nothing.”
“Vanessa.” Uh-oh. He’d brought the you’re a naughty girl, and not in a fun way, tone back to the table.
Treat me like a child and I’ll act like one. I pouted, even though he couldn’t see it and said, “What?”
“What is my number one rule?”
I knew it, but I didn’t want to follow it. I twirled my chair around two and a half times before I answered. “Open communication.”
“That’s my girl. So talk to me.”
Should I? I didn’t want to bring my insecurities up. Confidence was sexy, everyone knew it. I could pretend and tell him everything was fine, but I had promised to be open with him. If I wanted to fulfill my end of the relationship, I’d have to fess up to this inner turmoil eventually anyway. I took a breath, sighed, frowned and said, “I’m having a body confidence moment. If it’s not a BBW event there will be people there who, are, you know, not big. And they’ll be staring at me. They’ll think I’m gross.”
“Do you think you’re gross?”
“No. But I’m not the socially acceptable size.”
“You’re exactly what I want though. Society is fucked. You’re beautiful and sensuous, and I want to show you off. No one will judge you.” I listened closely and searched for the eye-roll tone in his voice, the one that meant great I have to placate the fat girl, I wish she would get over herself and get on with it so I can fuck her. If it had been there, I still would have tried to believe him, but would have lost a lot of my trust in him. I expected it, and had already pulled my emotions back. I had to protect my heart.
I had to be honest with myself. I’d gotten into this hoping to find someone who didn’t mind that I was chubby. The best I expected was a man who would initiate me into the world of kink without wrinkling up his nose at the cellulite on my ass. Only it wasn’t there, and I didn’t know how to react. The same party line popped out of my mouth, because it was still what I truly believed. “Sure they will.”
He sighed. “How about, if you think anyone even looks at you funny, I promise to beat them.”
I laughed. How cute was he? And strangely sincere. “I don’t think it has to go that far. But, I don’t know how I’m going to talk myself into being comfortable seeing people stare at me.”
“You let me take care of the detail, sweetness. Remember, you’re not the one in control.”
Thank the good luck gods.
Chapter Eleven