HUMANS RARELY TRIGGER my curiosity. Today is the exception, and I’ve had an internal war all afternoon with Beast. He doesn’t like Marinah, while my human side is intrigued. Being away from her has given me a chance to think about these strange, for lack of a better word, feelings. From Marinah’s scent to her tall, lithe body, she draws my focus while inciting Beast’s ire. I’m aware of her in a way no other woman holds my attention. She ignites something inside me and when near, I feel her on a different level than others. My biggest concern is the reason. The entire situation makes no sense.
The plan was to have an unobtrusive woman who would pontificate on behalf of the U.S. Federation while we grumbled and delayed. What we received is the daughter of a man I respect, and as soon as she fell at my feet outside the airplane, I knew nothing would go according to plan. And it hasn’t.
Beck and I arrive back at the Citadel, thus named by one of the men while we prepared for our human visitor and moved our headquarters here for now. I leave Beck and head straight for the small training room that I told Boot to use. I expected many things but not what I find.
Before I even entered the room, Beast shoves K-5 into my system at the sound of Boot and Marinah’s laughter. They’re sitting close against the wall, their postures that of friends having a good time and not the disgruntled pair I forced to train together. Beast’s energy flows through my veins, challenging me on all levels. It’s a painful internal battle that I’ve never had to fight quite like this. Beast directs two thoughts through my head… kill the man… kill the woman.
Boot’s focus is on Marinah, but Beast’s angry energy quickly fills the room and Boot looks to the door. He may not understand what’s happening, but he senses the danger and Beast’s rage. He slowly gains his feet, keeping his eyes down and his posture submissive, placing himself between me and Marinah. Does he really think he can save her if Beast charges?
“Out,” I hiss with as much restraint as I can manage.
Boot glances at Marinah, which only pisses off Beast more. Boot’s sharp eyes snap from her to me. Fear dances in their depths. Beast sees prey that he will gladly tear apart and sends a rumbling growl from deep in my chest to my throat that comes out as more of a roar.
Boot flees.
I’m remaining in human form, but it’s Beast’s eyes that take in the woman: black training pants, T-shirt, aggressive demeanor, arms not raised to defend, easy to kill. I blink and clench my jaws because the chemicals rocketing through my body are giving Beast the lead and I won’t allow it. Blood pulses through my veins, the air around me warms and I push back against the point of no return refusing to allow Beast to win this battle.
“That was rude,” Marinah says having no idea how close she is to death.
I manage to draw in a deep breath and expel it slowly, pushing the K-5 down and doing everything I can to calm Beast. Why does he have such strong reactions to Marinah? For a mate this would be normal, but Beast wants her dead, including everyone around her apparently, and that is decidedly not normal.
Once Greystone convinced me to accept Beast as a true part of myself, I gained the upper hand. I listen to his instincts, which are better than my human side can decipher under most circumstances and it’s kept me alive against the odds. Beast is always more in tune with our surroundings. Yes, Beast and I are one and the same, but he leads the animal side while I handle the human and control us both. Keeping them separate in my head helps, which is one of the most valuable lessons my uncle taught me.
“Only allow your beast to rule when you need a body count. At all other times keep a close reign on him,” he would lecture when Beast inadvertently slipped into my consciousness and I did something destructive.
Now I’m dealing with a human who tests my control of Beast at every turn. I should just kill her. Beast knows something I’m unaware of and this is no time to stop listening to him. The Shadow Warriors understand what we face when fighting the hellhounds and we know it will take working with humans to stop our own annihilation. I cannot kill her.
“I guess you just plan on being rude…” she says but her voice trails off, her expression changing, and I can only guess it’s because of something she sees when looking at me. As a human, she wouldn’t be able to detect the energy in the room, though she might feel the rise in temperature if she paid close attention.
“Stay where you are,” I tell her as she takes a small step back. Another growl releases from Beast. The internal battle is causing physical pain, and Beast shreds my insides refusing to back down. My vision goes red around the edges. Marinah Church is a threat, and Beast knows she needs to be eliminated.
“King,” Beck says from behind me. His tone in that one word means he understands I’m at a crossroads.
“I’ve got this,” I assure him through clenched teeth even though I’m not sure I do.
“Marinah, step around him slowly. No sudden movements.”
“No,” I growl and almost lose myself to Beast’s violence.
Marinah freezes before she can step in his direction. It’s all that saves her. Beast bellows inside me and bones crack. Rage floods my system along with more Kedorine 5. I’ve never brought Beast back from this point of transformation, but I know I must. The pain almost takes me to my knees. The red band around my vision increases in size until there’s only a small clear place left and it holds Marinah. Thick energy pushes against my bones exerting Beast’s will over my own. No, I almost shout out loud. I hold my ground and mentally force Beast back. More bones crack, the pain excruciating. “No.” My shout fills the room this time.
“What’s happening?” Marinah asks.
“Don’t move at all,” Beck tells her.
Pain explodes at their voices and Beast gains another inch of my control. With unwavering concentration, I force my bones to reknit, the K-5 to recede, and my eyesight to readjust. Minute by minute the pain lessens and my human side gains ground. Beast gives a last internal grumble and pulls back. My teenage struggles with Beast were never this difficult.
After what seems like an eternity, I’m able to draw oxygen into my lungs and think clearly.
“See her back to her room,” I grind out as soon as I can speak with some semblance of control.
Beck hurriedly steps out of my path as I head for the door. I don’t look back, needing to place as much distance between myself and the woman as possible. Why the hell does she challenge Beast? Something about Marinah is dangerous and the animal knows it.
I head to the larger gym used by the men. I’m not there to exercise, I’m there to destroy. Two warriors are working out and they flee as quickly as Boot did. I grab five-hundred pounds of barbells and heft them across the room. The stand they rested on is next, followed by the treadmill. When I’ve tossed everything I can find, I attack the barbell bar again and bend it almost in half. I have no idea how long my rampage lasts, but it’s Beck’s voice that finally brings my sanity back.
“You’re losing control, King. Maybe you need a break.”
“Screw you,” I say between gasps for breath. Exhausted, I walk to the wall, turn, and slide down until I land on my butt. I rub the scar on my cheek while melatonin floods my brain in reaction to more K-5 subsiding. Within a few minutes, I can evenly draw air into my lungs and human, post-shift laziness takes over. Finally, something easy to fight. I don’t have time for sleep right now.
Beck steps slowly in my direction. “How bad is it?” he asks. What he means is should he call Axel. When teens or newly mated warriors have trouble, they can’t readily handle, we have a drug that knocks them out. Axel is the only one with access to our supply and he and I are the only two who know its chemical makeup, though we have the ingredient list hidden safely away in case something happened to both of us. The drug knocks us out for hours. The problem is it doesn’t help in the long run. We must each learn to control our beast. The lessons from our ancestors are not easily forgotten. We fought on the home planet until we wiped out most of our population, which was in the millions. Only a long journey for the lucky few saved our kind and in turn we learned to control ourselves. Mostly.
“You need to return her to her people.”
I raise my hand because just his words give Beast permission to grumble inside me. “She can’t go back,” I say evenly. “There’s something wrong with her and Beast knows it. What vibes do you get when she’s around?” I ask because Beck is grumpy, but he has excellent control of his monster, and when he stops grumbling long enough, his council is usually the best.
Beck stares across the room. “Fear usually, but just now anger minus the fear.” He takes a seat on the floor beside me so Beast won’t feel threatened. We’ve done this hundreds of times with the younger warriors.
I place my legs in front of me, bending my knees slightly, willing myself to stay calm. “Something isn’t right. We need time to discover what is going on. Beast wants her dead. It wouldn’t be as strange if it stopped there. He acts jealous when anyone else is around her and he in turn wants that person dead. It’s not mating, but I don’t know what the hell it is.”
Beck breathes steadily allowing me to match my breaths to his as we slow our heartrates even more. “Has this happened before?” he asks after a few minutes.
“No and it shouldn’t be happening now.”
“Then kill her.”
He says it so simply even though it’s not what he wants. Beck cared about Marinah’s father and mourned his death. He wants to protect her and that sets Beast off again. I guess Beast needs the pleasure of killing Marinah all for himself.
I glance at Beck and he’s looking down at something interesting on the floor. I let out a long, slow breath and then another feeling my control slide back into place. “We need to make a deal with the humans. Killing her won’t make that easier.”
Beck rubs the scruff on his jaw, a sure sign he’s thinking too much. “Do you think Beast wants to kill her because she’s spying on us?” he asks.
I snort. “She admitted it to me without any thought to the consequences. She seems sincere and my human side believes her. It’s Beast who senses something else. Maybe the Federation has bigger plans and she’s using the spy thing to keep us looking in another direction.”
“Hmm,” Beck says. “We knew before she came that the government would ask her to gather as much intel as possible. If we allow the hounds to kill the humans left in the U.S. and don’t intervene, it could easily solve one of our major problems.”
“We’ve been through this,” I reply in frustration while rubbing my temple to relieve the strain. “The hellhounds won’t stop at humans. The bottom line is they won’t stop at all and if we can’t find a way to work with the Federation, our species will be next. We don’t have a spaceship to get us out of here like our ancestors did. The metal alloys are not found on this planet and chances are good we’ll never have a strong enough rocket.” I grumble the next statement under my breath. “We fight beside our enemy or we die.”
“We fight,” Beck repeats. He glances up for a split second but long enough to say, “Try not to kill her.”