If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
~ Abraham Maslow
When kindergarteners get fired from kindergarten, we have a serious problem in our perspective of childhood behavior. The solutions that are traditionally in place for children with challenging, difficult, and even severe behaviors are not working—they are failing our children in the classroom. Or more importantly, we are failing our children in the classroom. Continuing to see every problem as a “nail,” as suggested in the opening quote above, is where we need to begin.
If the only tool we have is a hammer, then we must add more tools to the toolbox. In other words, we must step back and broaden our perspective of children and understand what their behaviors are indicating. We must be willing to step back and see things differently and be willing to try something new that is unfamiliar and in many cases counter to that of tradition.
We live in a world that is different than it was fifty years ago, even twenty years ago. As a result, we are teaching different children in the classroom than in the past. Additionally, neuroscience has advanced remarkably to give us a deeper understanding of the brain. When we can understand the brain, we can understand our children because of this basic concept: The brain drives behavior.1
Another resource, largely untapped, that provides a deeper understanding of our children is ... our children! Why not ask our children what they need in the classroom? After all, they are the experts because they are the ones sitting in the classroom experiencing the academic environments we have created.
The fear in us as adults says that our children will ask for silly things or make unrealistic demands when it comes to improving their educational experience. Our adult minds think they will make comments like, “I want a cupcake on my desk every day when I arrive at school” or “I think every desk should have its own personal TV and Xbox.”
Nothing could be further from the truth. Our children do know what they need. They are insightful and they have a natural love for learning that should be honored and respected. Far too often we make life too complicated and we miss the obvious solutions that are simple and effective, many of which are right in front of us; it is just that we are looking from the perspective of the “hammer.”
Survey. A survey was created by the Beyond Consequences Institute (BCI) to ask the opinions of our expert children. The families on the BCI email network were invited to participate in this online survey on a volunteer basis. The survey was completed mainly by the students for whom this book was written (students who are unresponsive or even reactive to traditional methods of teaching and discipline), as the majority of families on this network include such students.
Children ranging from first to twelfth grade completed the survey. The responses were profoundly simple yet deeply insightful. They were also congruent with and supported the concepts in this book. The main question asked in this survey was:
“What do children need at school to make learning better? In other words, what would make you look forward to getting up and going to school every day?”
What the “Experts” Need. Each participant was given space to type in three responses to this one question. The most frequently mentioned responses fell into four main categories: (1) less stress and less overwhelm, (2) better teacher-student relationships, (3) better peer relations, and (4) more fun.
14% of the responses gave suggestions for decreasing the level of stress and overwhelm:
12% of the responses gave suggestions for improvements in the types of teachers as well as the teacher-student relationship:
10% of the responses reflected the importance of positive peer relations and the importance of friends:
10% of the responses had the word “fun” included:
Another question given was reflective in nature, asking the student to give insight into the past school year:
“Did you like school this past year? Why or why not?”
What the “Experts” Do NOT Need. As shown, the responses to the survey focused almost exclusively on social and emotional needs, as well as the need to be less stressed and less overwhelmed. Only 2% of students asked for more academics or harder academics:
More research would be needed to come to a definitive conclusion about this lack of request for more academics. However, when one considers that children have a natural love for learning, it becomes a likely conclusion that this natural desire is first dependent on meeting a child’s social and emotional needs. The need to be calm and in balance, instead of stressed and overwhelmed, appears to be one of the student’s top needs. The need to be safe, calm, understood, and accepted appears to take priority over education.
Figure 1.1. Hierarchy of learning.
The students’ survey responses fall directly in line with psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory. Maslow suggested that the needs of individuals must be met before they will have a strong desire for improving themselves and moving forward in their growth. In order of priority, Maslow theorized that individuals must have their physiological, safety, love/belonging/and esteem needs met prior to being motivated at the self-actualization level. He also believed that when these basic needs are deficient in one’s life, the feelings of being anxious and tense are typically present.
Taking this framework of human motivation developed by Maslow, the same basic principles can be applied directly to the student in the classroom. Figure 1.1 shows how a hierarchy of learning pyramid can be used to create an understanding of a student’s needs in the classroom. Instead of addressing the top of the pyramid, this book will address everything below the top in order to get to the top.
This single graphic in Figure 1.1 is a reflection of the entire contents of this book. To help the students addressed in this book, their physiological, safety, relationship/love, and esteem/self-love needs must be effectively addressed prior to any learning. This is where the change needs to happen in education—and it is a huge change. Yet it truly is the only way to help children who are struggling with their academic performance. We have, in the past, placed so much energy and focus on the top of the pyramid (with programs and academically focused solutions) that these students have behaviorally, socially, and emotionally collapsed, resulting in failing and out-of-control students.
It is up to us to find the courage to change our mindsets. It requires an entire paradigm shift. We must broaden the traditional “academics only” focus that has dominated our classrooms for far too long. Otherwise, the consequence is clear: We will continue to carry only a hammer and thus see every problem as a nail and continue to miserably fail our children.
There is another way.
Figure 1.2. Sample of how survey results will be presented throughout this book.
Survey Says. The survey responses mentioned in this chapter are only a selection of the insights the students shared in the survey. Throughout Part Two of this book, other responses are given to reinforce the ideas discussed. Boxes like the one shown in Figure 1.2 will contain a response (exactly as given from the participant) from the survey that directly relates to the adjacent section of text. Be sure to take note of each of these boxes, as they offer the answers needed to create a classroom environment in which children will excel to their full potential.
