Luca
My heart is beating uncontrollably as I walk to the valet and wait for him to come back with my car. I pace the driveway as people line up to give their ticket. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to shake her and ask her why. “A kid,” I say to myself quietly, shaking my head. Getting into the car the minute it arrives, I pull out of the driveway and call Nick.
“Hey,” he answers on the second ring.
“Are you home?” I ask him.
“Yeah.”
“I’m on my way,” I say and disconnect, making my way over there. So many things are going through my head. So many questions that she has the answers to. I pull up to Nick’s little two-story home and run up the steps. Ringing the doorbell, I turn around and take in the neighborhood. I run my hand through my hair a couple of times, scratching my head at the same time. “I have a kid.” It’s almost like the more I say it, the more it’ll sink in. I put both of my hands on my head and let out a heavy sigh. “A kid.”
The door swings open, and Nick stands there with a huge smile. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asks, taking me in. But instead of answering him, I walk past him straight to where he keeps his whiskey. I grab the bottle and think about getting a glass when I just say fuck it and put the bottle to my lips and take a gulp. The amber liquid burns all the way down to my stomach.
Nick stands there with his arms folded over his chest, watching me and waiting for me to tell him what is going on. “I just met my son,” I say quietly, and he takes out his phone. I have no idea what he is doing until, all of a sudden, I hear Jason’s voice.
“Wait, I have to connect Tom also,” he says, and then the next thing I know, they are all on video chat. While we wait for them to all get connected, I take a couple more shots. Better to tell the story once instead of repeating it over and over.
“How are all of you on at the same time?” I ask them.
“It’s called group chat,” Nick says to me. “You really need to up your social media game.”
“So to what do we all owe this meeting to?” Tom asks, and I see that he’s still in bed.
“Well, it’s Sunday, and Luca said he couldn’t come because he had to go to his boss’s barbecue.”
“I did have to go.” I look at him. “Where is Mona?”
“She’s at the grocery store,” he answers me and then turns back around. “Luca has a kid,” he says and laughs while the other two on the phone all gasp. I take another shot, waiting for their reactions.
“Shut the fuck up,” Tom says, his voice almost shrieking.
“Holy fuck me,” Jason says next, putting his hand over his mouth. “You like, don’t even really date.” I want to roll my eyes at him and tell him he’s lying, but I don’t.
I take a deep breath and then look at the phone. “It’s Eli,” I tell them quietly.
“Who the fuck is Eli?” Nick looks at me confused.
“Wait a second,” Tom starts, then his eyes go big. “Eli, as in Eli, the one from the cruise?”
I just nod my head, and Nick turns to me. “I told you to get condoms,” he says, and I flip him the bird.
“I did have condoms every single time,” I tell him. “Well, except that one time in the shower, but I didn’t, like, penetrate her. I just, like, rubbed myself on her.”
“Dude,” Tom says, snickering. “How can you graduate from Harvard law first overall and be that dumb?”
“Hey”—I point at the phone—“you are one to talk.”
“Yeah,” Jason says, “at least he got a kid out of that cruise. You got fucking chlamydia.” We all laugh.
“Don’t fucking remind me,” Tom says. “My balls were the size of golf balls. And the burning. Shit, I thought my dick was lit on fire.”
“Okay,” Nick finally says, “how did you see her again?”
“I was at the barbecue, and I was talking to Leonard, and then all of a sudden, my eyes just landed on her. Then he introduced me to his daughter. And his grandson,” I say, looking down at the whiskey bottle in my hand.
“Holy shit,” Tom says, sitting up. “She’s your boss’s daughter? You fucked her on a cruise, knocked her up, and now you work for him.”
“This is a fucking soap opera,” Jason says. “The days of Luca’s life.” He slaps his legs. “Or the bold and the Luca.”
I groan and throw my head back, closing my eyes. “This isn’t a fucking joke. She had my kid.” I put the bottle down and run my hands over my face again. “Alone.” I say the last part so low I don’t know if anyone can hear me.
“It isn’t your fault,” Nick says, slapping me on the shoulder. “Remember when we came back, and you called Carnival and asked for the manifest?”
I put my hands on the counter, and I hang my head down and laugh while he continues. “When they told you no, you told them that you were going to subpoena them, and they went so far as to have you blocked from going on another one of their cruises for a year.”
“We don’t know that,” I tell them as they all laugh at me. The day after I got back from the cruise, the only thing I could think about was Eli. I hated that I didn’t have her number or even her last name to look her up. I hated that in just four days, she had wormed her way into me.
“Honey, I’m home,” Mona says when she walks in the front door.
“In the kitchen!” Nick yells, and she walks in, dragging four bags. She smiles when she sees me, but then looks worried when she sees the whiskey bottle on the counter. Nick walks to her, bending down to kiss her lips.
“I thought you were skipping Sunday Funday,” she teases Nick and comes over to me and kisses me on my cheek.
“Yeah, well, all that changed,” Tom says from the phone. “Hey, Mona, what’s happening?”
“Oh, shit,” she says, going to the phone. “The gang’s all here. Must be a big thing.” She holds the phone and then turns to look at us. “Who fucked up this time?”
Everyone answers at the same time. “Luca.”
She looks over at me. “What did you do?” She has become a part of our group, and if truth be told, we would all pick her if Nick fucks up. Not to mention, she is drop-dead gorgeous with black hair and green eyes. And the best part is she’s super smart.
“He has a kid,” Nick says, smirking as he leans back on the counter across from us and crosses his legs at the ankles.
Mona gasps out loud. “What?” She slaps her free hand on the counter. “How? Who? When?” She doesn’t even catch her breath while she asks me all these questions. “Holy shit, how old is he or is it a she?” she says and then holds up her hands. “Oh my God, is she pregnant right now? Can I throw you a baby shower? What about a gender reveal party? They are very big right now.”
I look over at Nick. “Calm her,” I tell him, and he reaches out and pulls her to him, kissing her lips again. “Seven,” I answer, and her eyes go big again. “Or six. And he’s a boy, a beautiful boy named Aiden,” I say, smiling at her.
Her eyes go huge. “That’s crazy. How did you not know?” she asks, and everyone groans.
“I’m out,” Tom says at the same time as Jason does, and they all disconnect.
I start to speak, but she holds up her hand. “Wait, I need wine,” she says. Going to the fridge, she grabs her white wine and pours herself a glass, taking a sip and then sitting on one of the stools. “Okay, now start.”
“We met on the booze cruise,” I say, and she laughs out loud.
“The cruise where one of the guys got chlamydia?” Then she looks over at Nick, pointing at him. “I don’t even want to know what you were up to.”
He raises his hands. “Please, I was a saint. Before you, all I did was watch porn.”
“Yeah, anal porn, right?” she asks him, and his mouth opens halfway.
“That is not my history,” he says, and she laughs, shaking her head.
“You know that when you go on porn, there are popups, right?” she tells him as he crosses his arms in front of him. “It opens in another window, and even if you clear your history, it’s still there.”
He looks at her and then looks at me, and all I do is shrug. “I did not know this,” he says. “But if it makes you feel better, it was after we did all those things.” He winks at her, and she blushes.
“I’m still here,” I tell them.
“Okay, sorry,” Mona says. “Go ahead.”
“I need a minute,” I say to them and walk out their back door to their outdoor patio. I stand here with my hands in my pockets, and I’m suddenly back to when this craziness all started.
“Holy shit, boys,” Nick said loudly. “Look at all the pussy,” he whispered, and I looked around. It was like spring break gone wrong.
“Four days of sun and booze,” Jason said while he grabbed his bag. We got in the massive line to board the ship. We stood there for a good hour as we got through security, took our picture, and then finally got our cabin keys. “So we have two cabins side by side,” the woman behind the counter said. “Both are with twin beds.” We took the keys from her and then made our way up the ramp toward the boat.
“How cool is it that the boat is called Carnival Destiny?” Tom asked, looking around when we walked in and were standing smack in the middle of the boat. I looked up to see it was all glass for five or six floors, and an American flag hung in the middle of the ceiling. Three glass elevators on one side, and on the other were stairs that wound down from floor to floor.
The bar in the middle of the floor was already full. “What do you say, boys, shall we?” Jason pointed at the bar, and we all walked to it.
I looked down, walking to the bar, and bumped into someone, and all I saw was blond hair. My hands flew forward to stop her from falling. I brought her to me, and her hands grabbed my arms.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, looking into the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. A cliché, that’s for sure, but still the same. Her eyes literally shined as she smiled.
“It’s my fault.” She pushed away from me a bit. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
I stared at her for what felt like an eternity but was about two seconds before the group of assholes I was with started calling my name. “Luca.”
“Have a nice day, Luca,” she said and walked away from me. I watched her walk; she had the best ass I’d seen. I watched her until I felt something hit my head. It was a fucking cherry, so I turned and walked to them.
“Why can’t you guys behave like normal human beings?” I asked them even though I wasn’t sure they knew the answer. I grabbed the beer that Nick had in his hands and downed it.
“Let’s dump our shit in our room and head for some food,” Tom said, so we made our way to the elevator and down to our rooms.
We walked down the carpeted hallway with staterooms on each side. Some doors were even decorated with balloons and shit. A couple had a whiteboard on it with where the people were. When we finally got to our room, I was ready to walk in, but Nick stopped in his tracks. Two doors away from us, we saw four girls walk out of their own room, all laughing and giving us the once-over and smiling as they left. “I think my penis has found his first home,” Jason said, looking back at the girls. “Someone dump my shit,” he said and ran off down the hall to catch up with the girls.
“I’m with him,” Tom said, opening the door and literally just throwing his bag in there. He ran toward the group, and I looked at Nick.
“I will kick you in the balls if you make me do this alone,” he huffed, but we opened both doors and dumped Jason’s shit in theirs. “Okay, now let’s go,” I said, and we walked down the same hallway to the elevator and up to the eighth floor. The elevator doors opened, and who did I run smack into but the girl with no name.
I hear the back door open, and both Mona and Nick come outside, going to sit on their outdoor couch facing me. Nick hands me a beer. I take it and take a sip. “This is so fucked up,” I say and then look back at them.
“Did you guys hook up right away?” Mona asks, and I shake my head.
“Nah.” I lean back. “That first night, we watched the stars.”
Nick puts his head back and groans. “I swear it’s almost as if you’re a woman.”
I flip him the bird and while I do this, my phone beeps, so I take it out and see it’s a text from Eli.
Eli: I think we need to talk.
I answer her immediately.
Me: Name the time and place.
The bubble with three dots comes up.
Eli: We just got to our new home. Aiden is going to bed in about an hour, so you can come by then.
Me: Sure, what’s your address?
She answers back right away with her address, and I look back up at Mona and Nick.
“Oh my fucking God,” I say to them, and they both look at me, wondering how much worse it can get, and I’m about to tell them. “She’s my fucking neighbor.”