Chapter Ten 

 

 

My gaze stays focused straight ahead as I twist the dial of my combination.  From all around me whispers bombard my ears.  It’s a persistent chatter that refuses to be silenced.  I had to listen to the steady hum of it in every class.  No one will talk to me or even acknowledge my presence, but they sure as hell find pleasure in gossiping about me. 

Thank goodness I’ve been able to avoid Kingsley.  Every new classroom I forced myself to enter, my footstep would falter over the threshold as I held my breath, carefully searching the room for his dark hair and eyes. 

Even though I don’t have an appetite, I pull my brown paper bag from my backpack. 

“Hey.” 

My gaze flicks to Austin, who now lounges against the locker next to mine as I slam the metal door closed. 

“Hi.”  Besides Mrs. Baxter and Delilah, he’s the only friendly person I’ve encountered.  Even the teachers are stone faced and chilly toward me.  It’s like I’ve done something wrong or have a reputation that precedes me.  Teachers usually love me.  I’m not a student who causes problems in class.  I’m quiet, smart, and turn my work in on time.  What’s not to like? 

So this, I don’t get.  It’s like I’ve been dropped into the Twilight Zone where nothing makes sense. 

Kingsley’s words continue to circle through my head. 

You let me think you were an ordinary girl. 

What the hell does that mean? 

I’m as ordinary as they get. 

“Ready to head to the cafeteria?” Austin asks with his paper bag in hand. 

My eyes widen at the question. 

I have zero plans to go anywhere near the lunchroom.  It would be much akin to walking into a lion’s den.  And I have a fairly high sense of self-preservation.  The last thing we want to do is invite more trouble. 

I shake my head and clutch my bag with fingers that bite into the paper.  “Let’s eat at the library or maybe head outside, if it’s allowed.” 

“Forget that,” he snaps, a potent concoction of stubbornness and anger flash across his face, “we’re eating in the lunchroom with everyone else.” 

No!

“Aus, please.”  My voice drops as I plead with him to reconsider his tactics.  “I don’t want to be anywhere near these people.  Just for thirty minutes.  I need a break.”  Otherwise I’ll be the one who breaks.  And I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of watching that happen. 

“Suck it up, buttercup.”  He folds his arms across his wide chest.  “I won’t allow a bunch of hicks to dictate what I do.”  He waggles his finger between us.  “We need to stick together.  If these assholes think they can intimidate us, this bullshit will only get worse.”  There’s a pause.  “You know it’s true.” 

My shoulders droop under the weight of his words because we both know he’s right.  These people are like sharks scenting blood in the water.  If we don’t make a show of strength, they’ll grow bolder.  It’ll be a free for all to see who can rip us apart first. 

Why does this have to be so difficult? 

“Fine,” I agree reluctantly. 

A cocky grin tugs at the corners of his lips before he throws an arm around my shoulders and hauls me close.  “We have each other, that’s all we need.  We’re Hawthornes.” 

A sliver of unease runs through me. 

Yes, we’re Hawthornes, but why does that now seem to carry such a negative connotation? 

Halfheartedly, I allow Austin to steer me toward the cafeteria.  He seems to know where it is.  Apparently, his tour of the building this morning was more informative than my nonexistent one. 

The closer we get to the lunchroom, the louder the babble of voices grow and the more my feet drag.  The beat of my heart picks up speed, thudding painfully in my chest.  I don’t want to go in there.  The smell of mass-produced food assaults my nostrils and my belly flips upside down, threatening to revolt even though I haven’t eaten since last evening. 

From beside me, Austin’s body tenses.  I glance at him and notice the stiff set of his jaw and the muscle that twitches there.  He’s bracing for a fight.  My brother doesn’t want to do this anymore than I do.  That knowledge only strengthens my resolve and I lift my head higher, unwilling to let these jerks tear us down. 

Austin gives me a wink before we step into the spacious room.  A hushed silence falls over the student body as all eyes turn to us.  If I weren’t expecting it, the sheer weight of their collective stare would be enough to have me stumbling to a halt before turning tail and running. 

“Keep it moving,” Austin growls from the side of his mouth.  “Don’t let these assholes sense your fear.” 

Easier said than done.  I gulp down my rising panic, knowing that he’s right.  They’ll fall on me like a pack of jackals if they realize how frightened I am.  I blank my expression and stare at the far wall of the cafeteria.  As we move through the rows of students, I wait for an attack. 

“There’s an empty table to the left,” he mutters. 

I suck in a breath as my gaze skitters across the room before landing on a vacant table against the edge of the rectangular-shaped space.  Together we stride toward it before sliding across from each other at the far end.  The thought of enduring this hell for an entire year is enough to bring a hot prick of tears to my eyes. 

I’ll never make it. 

Austin settles with his back to the crowd as I sit across from him.  If I lift my gaze, I can scan the entire cafeteria.  Instead, I block them out and refuse to make eye contact.  There’s no reason to provoke the inmates. 

As soon as we’re seated, Austin doesn’t waste time in emptying the contents of his lunch onto the table.  Two PB and J sandwiches, apple slices, a bag of chips, a protein bar, and a bottle of water.  When I make no move toward mine, he raises a brow which prompts me to follow suit.  Mechanically, I pull out the sandwich, apple slices, bag of Sun Chips, and a bottle of water before staring at them.  There’s no way I’ll be able to force down a bite.  The thought is enough to stir the nausea roiling in my belly. 

“You need to eat,” he prods with a frown. 

I shake my head, wishing it were that easy.  “I can’t.” 

Slowly my shoulders lower from around my ears as the din of conversation picks up again and people go back to conversing about whatever the hell they were previously discussing.  As it does, my gaze travels cautiously around the room. 

Like the corridors, there are wooden beams crossing the vaulted ceiling.  Arched stained glass windows allow shards of sunlight to flood in, giving the space a warm feel.  More gold-leaf framed pictures dot the walls and heavy wooden chandeliers with white candles hang from the two story-ceiling.  There are three lines of tables strategically placed in rows throughout the space.  Without the food service taking place off to the side, it almost resembles a church. 

Except there is no peace or sanctuary to be found here.  I’m more afraid of being ripped to shreds by the parishioners. 

I continue to study the architectural details until my gaze collides with a dark one a few tables away.  A current of electricity shoots through me, flooding my body with awareness.  The wise thing to do would be to avert my eyes, but Kingsley has the power to trap me within his stare.  The boisterous noise and people that surround us falls away until we’re alone. 

Similar to this morning when his fingers were wrapped around my throat, it becomes difficult to breathe.  My hand flutters to my neck, but there’s nothing constricting my airways.  How is it possible to feel the pressure of his fingers when he’s across the room?  A shiver of unease runs through me as his lips lift into a smirk.  It’s like he knows exactly what kind of response he’s capable of eliciting.   

With a flick of his gaze, he dismisses me.  His expression transforms into one of playfulness as a girl stops beside him before reaching out and trailing her fingers over his arm.  In one quick movement, he snags her hand and tugs her onto his lap.  Pain blooms in my chest when I realize it’s Sloane.  Her arms loop possessively around his neck before she pulls him close.  Her lips go to his ear as she whispers a secret. 

Look away! 

Stop staring! 

It’s a relief when Sloane tips her head back and laughs, loose blond hair bouncing around her shoulders, obscuring my vision.  A moment later, she tilts her body, and he comes back into view again with his gaze pinned to mine.  His eyes are frozen chips as a slow grin spreads across his handsome face. 

The pain he’s inflicting is deliberate. 

Why is he doing this? 

I almost shake my head in frustration before catching myself at the last minute.  There’s no way this is the same boy I met earlier this summer. 

“Hey.”  Austin reaches out and grabs my lifeless hand as it lies on the table between us. 

Reluctantly, my attention jerks to him.  “What?” 

He points to my lunch with his other hand.  “You need to eat.” 

I glance at the untouched food and grimace.  “I’ll eat later.” 

“Everything will be fine,” he mutters, attempting to comfort me.  “Give it some time to settle.” 

I snort out a disbelieving laugh.  Usually I’m the one who is the eternal optimist, not my brother.  I’m the one who is always there, championing him, lifting him up, propelling him forward.  It’s disconcerting to find our roles reversed. 

“Are you still going to football practice?” I ask. 

Having polished off his lunch, he picks up his bottle of water and guzzles the rest of the liquid.  “Yeah.  Why wouldn’t I?” 

Even though I had been encouraging Austin to go out for the team only last night, now I’m rethinking my position.  These people are frightening.  I don’t want him anywhere near them.  Especially alone. 

“Like you said, they’re a bunch of assholes and I don’t think you’ll be anymore welcome on the team than we’ve been in this school.” 

He shrugs before an evil grin settles on his face.  “Want to guess who’s the bigger asshole?” 

A mirthless chuckle escapes from my lips.  Leave it to Austin to compete for that particular title. 

When I don’t respond, he tilts his head.  “Isn’t it your job to disagree and tell me how amazing I am?” 

“I think you have me confused with our mother.”  Tension leaks from my shoulders.  “And for the record, you already seem to know how amazing you are.” 

Humor flickers in his eyes.  “Of course, I do.  But it’s always nice to hear.” 

“You’re amazing, Aus,” I rasp, hot emotion stinging the back of my eyelids.  There’s no way I could get through this moment without him. 

He nods, looking pleased with himself.  “Right back at you, sis.”  He pauses for a beat before adding, “These people won’t break us.”  

Movement from the corner of my eye captures my attention and my gaze slides from Austin’s green eyes to Kingsley.  I’m jolted into awareness when I find him watching me from beneath a thick fringe of dark lashes. 

As his unfriendly gaze holds mine, I get the feeling that Kingsley would like nothing more than to break us. 

Me, specifically.