Have you read? 

Heartless

 

 

Chapter One

Skye

 

 

“Yay!  The bitches are back together again and tonight we ride!”  Lanie wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight.  “It’s been too long, girl!  Way too long!” 

A reluctant smile curves my lips.  “I know.  It’s good to be back.”  The circumstances surrounding my return are less than ideal, but I’m happy to see Lanie again.  She’s been my best friend since middle school, and I’ve missed her.  Facetime and texting are nice but it’s not the same as talking in person.  She links her arm through mine as we walk across the open field. 

I glance at the cute cowboy boots that adorn her feet.  When she told me that we were going to a field in the middle of nowhere, I didn’t believe her.

That was my first mistake. 

Second mistake? 

Not going with sturdier footwear.

Instead, I’m wearing a pair of flimsy sandals.  They’re cute as hell but that’s not going to do me a whole lot of good across this terrain. 

Lanie insisted we celebrate my return by dragging me to a bonfire in a farmer’s field.  Already the place is crawling with drunk-off-their-asses, barely legal adults.  Shouting and raucous laughter fills the balmy night air. 

Even though I know it won’t do me any good, my gaze coasts anxiously over the ever-swelling crowd.  Nerves dance across my spine as I silently pray Hunter will be absent from the revelry.  Or, if he is here, we’ll somehow be able to avoid one another. 

If I know Lanie—and I do—she’ll be up my ass to cut loose and have fun.  How can I do that when Hunter and I now attend the same college?  At any given moment I could turn a corner and smack right into him. 

The thought of that happening makes me nauseous.

As much as I want to play it cool and act like my ex-boyfriend doesn’t matter, the words slip from my mouth before I can stop them.  “You don’t think he’ll be here, do you?”  I shoot her a look that’s rife with concern. 

Lanie doesn’t bother to ask who I’m referring to.  She doesn’t have to.  She’s all too aware of my past.  She had a front-row seat to our relationship.  And its demise. 

“I don’t know,” she pauses and pops her shoulders into a careless shrug, “maybe.” 

“What?”  My feet grind to a halt as my mouth dries, turning cottony.  I’m barely aware of the blades of straw poking my feet through the leather sandals.  “But you said—” 

Her expression hardens, transforming into one of impatience.  “Even if he is here, the chances of you running into him are slim.”  She waves an arm toward the massive group of students who have gathered to mourn the end of summer by drinking themselves into a stupor.  “Look around.  Half the university is here.  There’s no way you’re going to see him, Skye, so stop worrying about it and live a little.” 

My teeth sink into my lower lip before I suck the fullness into my mouth.  No matter what Lanie says, I’m going to worry.  

When I remain silent, my best friend plants her hands on her hips and glares.  Here comes Lanie’s version of tough love. 

“Would you rather sit home by yourself on a Saturday night because you’re too chickenshit to show your face?  Afraid that you might run into Hunter Price?” 

I’m sorry, is that really a question?  

From the annoyed expression that flickers across Lanie’s face, I decide to keep those thoughts to myself.

“Skye Elizabeth Sinclair!” 

I wince as my full name cracks through the air.  It brings an unpleasant image of my mother to mind.  This is what I get for living with someone who isn’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit.  Maybe I should have taken Dad up on the offer to live with him. 

I decide to go with something close to the truth.  “I was hoping to avoid him for a while,” I mutter.  “That’s all.” 

And when I say awhile, what I really mean is forever. 

Is that really too much to ask?

Lanie sighs as her expression softens.  Marginally.  “I know, but you’re going to run into him on campus or at a party eventually.  It’s inevitable.  Accept it and move on.” 

I snort.

Easy for her to say.  Lanie doesn’t have any ghosts from her past that are ready to jump out and scare her.

I have a carefully constructed plan in place for the year.  It involves laying low and flying under the radar, so Hunter doesn’t even know I’m here.  “Yeah, I guess…” 

Unwilling to let me backslide, Lanie loops her arm through mine and pulls me toward the growing group of partiers.  “It’ll be fine.  I promise.” 

Unfortunately, my bestie isn’t in a position to guarantee me anything and we both know it. 

The closer we get to the party, the more my anxiety ratchets up.  At least night has fallen.  The only light that emanates is from the bonfire that flickers in the distance and the stars that twinkle across the dark velvety sky. 

For the time being, I’ll remain vigilant.  There’s really nothing more I can do.

I inhale a deep breath before carefully blowing it out.

Maybe Lanie’s right and I’m making a big deal out of nothing.  It’s been three years since we’ve seen each other, and a lot has happened since then.  We’ve both moved on with our lives.  I’m sure he’s forgotten all about me.  As those thoughts circle through my head, my shoulders loosen from around my ears and my heart stops thumping a painful beat. 

The moment we reach the outer ring of people, Lanie is swept off her booted feet and spun around in a tight circle like a rag doll.  Her short floral dress flies around her thighs.  Laughter rings throughout the air as her arms slip around her boyfriend’s neck. 

Jaxon Conway has a typical football player’s physique.  He’s a mountain of a man.  Tall, broad in the shoulders, and muscular.  He looks like he could easily bench press Lanie’s VW Bug.  I would be intimidated by him but he’s quick to laughter and has warm brown eyes.  He’s like a teddy bear.  Big and gruff on the outside but tender and mushy on the inside. 

“Missed you, babe,” he growls.

“It’s only been a couple of hours since we saw each other!” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jax complains.  “I still missed the hell out of you.” 

“Aww.”  Lanie’s voice softens, becoming dreamy.  “I love you so much.”

“I love you more,” he responds with enough heat to melt the panties off Lanie’s body. 

Ugh.

Make it stop.

These two are so sickeningly sweet that I get a toothache every time I’m around them.  Although, if anyone deserves a good guy, it’s Lanie.  Like most girls in their early twenties, she’s dated her fair share of assholes.  Jaxon is almost too good to be true.  Kind of like a mythical unicorn sprung to life.  He’s an athlete who isn’t interested in screwing as many girls as he can get his hands on. 

Ever since I rolled into town a few days ago, Jaxon and Lanie have been glued together at the hip.  I get the feeling he’ll be our unofficial third roommate for the year. 

Know what’s been getting a lot of use?

My noise-cancelling headphones.

Most nights, those two sound like they’re auditioning for a porno.  Let’s hope it calms down soon.

Jaxon and Lanie coo at each other before their mouths fuse together and they start going at it like a pair of cats in heat.  I clear my throat and glance everywhere but at them.  If we were hanging out at the townhouse, this would be my cue to exit stage left.  But we’re not at home, we’re in the middle of a field a few miles from town.  There’s nowhere for me to go.  No one for me to talk to. 

Awkwardness descends as I flick a piece of straw from my shirt.

Maybe I should take this opportunity to grab a beer.  There must be a keg around here somewhere.  You can’t have this many college kids congregating in one spot and not have alcohol.  That would be considered sacrilegious, right? 

With any luck, by the time I return, Jaxon and Lanie will have stopped mauling each other long enough for us to move on with our evening.  It’s not like he’s being shipped off to war tomorrow and they’ll never see each other again. 

Sheesh.

My gaze meanders to them in hopes that they’ve gotten their fill of each other.

Nope.  The face sucking has become even more intense.  Any moment, clothing is going to spontaneously combust from their bodies. 

I don’t really want to be around when that happens.

So…a beer it is.

Not that either of them are paying me the least bit of attention, but I point toward the mass of bodies that have multiplied in the fifteen minutes since we’ve arrived.  “I’m going to grab a drink.”  When my words are met with kissy noises, I say, “Try not to miss me too much while I’m gone.” 

Lanie waves a hand absently in my direction as they continue to get it on. 

“Okay then,” I mumble before reluctantly taking off on my own. 

The amount of people gathered here is a little overwhelming.  Lanie’s right, half the university must have shown up.  Everyone is talking, laughing, and drinking.  In other words, they’re having a great time. 

Me, not so much.

It takes a good ten minutes to find the keg.  Or maybe I should say kegs, since there are six of them next to the backend of a midnight black pickup truck that is blasting music from massive speakers.  I can barely hear myself think over the thumping beat.  Then again, maybe that’s for the best.  It’s a relief to get out of my head, even for a few minutes. 

I locate the line for the beer and take my place at the end of it.  I’m not much of a drinker, but I need something to smooth out all of the rough edges so I can relax and enjoy myself.               

My flesh prickles with awareness and I run my hands over my arms trying to banish the disconcerting sensation.  I glance around, scouring the crowd for one face in particular but don’t see him anywhere.  That alone should alleviate my anxiety, but it doesn’t. 

My parting with Hunter wasn’t what one would call amicable.  I don’t blame him for being hurt and angry.  Whether Hunter understands it or not, I did what needed to be done.  As painful as it was, I’d do it all over again.  I loved Hunter more than life itself. 

Part of me still does.

Probably always will.

If everything I’ve read online is true, then my sacrifices have been well worth it.  Hunter will get snapped up in the NFL draft before graduating this spring.  Ever since I can remember, that’s been his goal.  If there’s one person who deserves for all his dreams to come true, it’s Hunter Price.  Unwilling to dwell on my ex, I shove him from my mind and take in the scene before me. 

People are gathered together in groups, greeting one another as if they’re long lost friends who haven’t seen each other in decades.  It’s a little surreal to be surrounded by so many people and yet feel so removed from it all.  As if I’m more of an observer than a participant.  Other than Lanie and Jaxon, I don’t know anyone else.  I’m sure there are people from high school who attend CU, but after I moved away, I lost touch with most of them. 

By the time I make it to the front of the line, I’m antsy and ready to head back to my friends.  Even if they’re still going at it.  Which is really saying something.  I’d much rather stand around as a third wheel than be an island onto myself.  I dig through my front pocket and hand over a couple of bucks in exchange for a blue plastic cup before it’s filled to the rim with golden liquid. 

The cute guy manning the keg flashes me an easy grin as his eyes drift over my body.  When he’s finished with his perusal, his gaze once again settles on my face.  Kudos to this guy for not gawking at my boobs like he’s never seen a pair of D cups before. 

“Here you go, beautiful,” he says, handing over the cup with a gallant flourish. 

This little bit of silliness lightens my mood.  “Thanks.” 

Our fingers brush as I take the Solo cup from him. 

“Next time, cut to the front of the line.”  He gives me a flirty wink.  “I got you covered.” 

I flash him a grateful smile.  Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all. 

With my drink in hand, I’m ready to make my way back to Jaxon and Lanie.  Only now does it occur to me that they could have moved from the spot where I’d left them. 

Who’s to say I’ll even be able to find my way back? 

A knot of unease settles at the bottom of my belly.  My fingers go to the purse slung across my chest.  It’s big enough to hold my phone and that’s about it.  I could always shoot Lanie a text, but who knows if she’d hear it.  And I have no idea how to navigate my way back to our apartment.  The unsettled feeling that had taken up residence in my gut turns into full-on nausea. 

Only now do I realize that walking away was a bad idea.  I should have stuck to Lanie and Jax like glue.  But standing around and watching them make-out felt pervy. 

And not in a good way.

With those thoughts swirling through my brain, I spin around and slam into a wall of impenetrable muscle.  The impact knocks me off-balance and I stumble back a step.  Before I can fall, strong hands reach out and grab hold of my shoulders, yanking me forward.  My breath catches and my heart pounds at the narrowly avoided tumble. 

I shake my head to clear it as beer sloshes over the rim of my plastic cup and spills onto the ground at my feet.  I’m lucky it didn’t end up down the front of my top or the shirt of the unsuspecting person I plowed into. 

How humiliating would that have been?

Ugh…I don’t even want to think about it. 

“I’m so—” 

My voice falls off as I glance up, my gaze colliding with narrowed blue eyes.  Hunter quickly sets me free as if his fingers have been burned.  Neither of us break eye contact.  All of the raucous noise of the bonfire dies away until it’s just the two of us standing alone in the middle of a dark field. 

This is the moment I’ve been dreading. 

My eyes roam over his face, cataloging the myriad of changes that time has wrought.  When I walked away, Hunter had still been a boy, his lean muscles beginning to thicken.  Now the transformation has been complete and he’s a full-grown man.  Hunter has always had size on his side, but somehow, he’s managed to grow both taller and broader.  He must be somewhere in the vicinity of six three or four.  I have to crane my neck to hold his gaze.  The graphic T-shirt he’s wearing stretches tautly across the wide expanse of his chest and hugs the chiseled strength of his biceps.  It’s enough to make my mouth dry and my knees soft. 

If I have one weakness, it’s for thickly corded arms.  All that tightly harnessed power waiting to break free… 

A shiver of desire scampers down my spine before I stomp it out.

Unaware of the effect he’s having on me, Hunter’s deep voice cuts through my thoughts.   

“What are you doing here, Skye?” 

It’s the harshness of his tone that has my gaze snapping back to his as heat floods my cheeks.  I can’t stop myself from staring.  The little bit of cyberstalking I’ve done over the years has in no way prepared me for coming face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend.  He’s grown into his dark looks, becoming even more of a heartbreaker than he was in high school. 

My tongue darts out to smudge my parched lips as nerves dance along my skin.  I search Hunter’s eyes, looking for any hint of softening but there’s none to be found.  His gaze is as frigid and detached as I imagined it would be.  The tiny kernel of hope that our time apart would be enough to heal our past wounds shrivels and dies inside me. 

There is no forgiveness in his heart.

But then again, did I really expect there would be?

Maybe.  It would have made coexisting on campus for the next year so much easier. 

It’s obvious from his terse behavior that Hunter would prefer to pretend I never existed in the first place.  As much as I would love to give him that, I can’t.  Unforeseen circumstances have forced me home. 

I straighten my shoulders and attempt to keep my voice level.  I don’t want him to hear the slight tremble that is working its way through my body.  “I transferred to Claremont for my senior year.” 

His shadowed jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth.  “Why?” 

The way he bites out that one word leaves me wincing. 

I take a quick step back and lift my chin, not wanting him to see how much power he still holds over me.  Time has done nothing to diminish it.  “That’s none of your business.” 

Whether Hunter realizes it or not, he still owns a piece of my heart.  It’s better for both of us if he never suspects the depth of my feelings. 

His hands tighten into fists as he closes the little bit of distance that I’ve managed to put between us.  Instead of scrambling back the way every instinct is clamoring for me to do, I hold my ground until we’re standing toe-to-toe.  My heart pounds a painful staccato against my breast as his harsh breath feathers across my parted lips. 

There was a time when I couldn’t get close enough to Hunter.

Now I can’t get far enough away.

Sorrow floods through every fiber of my body that it has to be this way between us.  Next to Lanie, Hunter was my best friend.  He was my first everything. 

Date.

Kiss.

Love.

Heartbreak.

Everything we once shared has been blown to pieces and we’re nothing more than strangers.  Actually, what we are is much worse.  His animosity is palpable.  It radiates from him in suffocating waves that threaten to choke the life out of me.  

“You shouldn’t have come back,” he growls.  “You don’t belong here anymore.” 

That may be true, but there’s nothing I can do about it.  I’m here.  And I’m not going anywhere. 

I shift my weight and force myself to say, “Claremont is big enough for the two of us.” 

“No, it’s not.  Stay the fuck out of my way, Skye.”  His eyes flash with barely suppressed hostility.  “You won’t like the consequences if you don’t.” 

Before I can summon up a retort, he stalks away.  Rooted in place, my gaze tracks his movements until he fades into the crowd.  Not once does he turn around and acknowledge my presence.  I’ve been dismissed.  Relegated to the blackhole that is our past. 

Once he disappears from sight, my knees weaken as the pent-up breath rushes from my aching lungs. 

I haven’t been on campus for a full seventy-two hours and in Hunter’s eyes, I’m public enemy number one.