Andrew parked in front of Jill’s house and rang the bell. He’d thought about cancelling a million times that day, but he hadn’t been strong enough to do what would have been best for both of them.
He opened the door and walked in when she called out to come in.
Jill stood in the living room off the front hallway, bent over a tripod and camera that was aimed at the fireplace. The room was lit with several large, professional photography lights complemented by large white umbrella-like things that seemed to angle the light toward the fireplace. Andrew supposed he should have been looking at the photograph over the fireplace but all he could do was focus on Jill.
She was immersed in her work focused only on the camera and whatever magic she saw through the lens. The lights in the room were soft and they bounced off her blond hair and framed her face in a soft glow.
The outline of her slender arms and the breasts he wanted to feast on was clear through the sheer fabric of her shirt. The image sent a blow right to Andrew’s gut. It was like he was a teenager again. There wasn’t any way to tear his eyes from Jill.
He watched as she made several adjustments to the settings on her camera and then snapped the shutter a half dozen times before looking up at him with a smile.
“Sorry, I’m just trying to get these shots done so I don’t have to try to set the lights again tomorrow. When the sunlight comes through the windows in the morning, it will change the way these lights hit the wall and I’ll have to start all over again,” she explained, gesturing to the wall above the fireplace.
He finally tore his eyes from the woman in front of him and looked at the wall. Above the fireplace hung a gorgeous picture of a dense forest in the fall. The leaves on the trees were an incredible arrangement of golden yellows, burnt oranges, and fiery reds that cast a warm feeling over Andrew as he looked at it.
The glow of the sun shone through the leaves of the trees, creating an effect against the leaves that took the picture from one that merely captured nature to one that was pure art.
“Another one from your fall collection?” he asked, gesturing to the print. The appreciation was clear in his voice.
“Mmm hmm,” she said as she flipped through the pictures saved on the disk in the camera to be sure she had the shot she needed.
“It’s amazing. All of your work I’ve seen is so much more artistic than I thought it would be. I thought it would just be pictures of nature, but it’s not. You’ve turned nature into art.”
She laughed. “Thanks.”
Then he processed what she was doing, taking a picture of one of her pictures. “Uh, why are you taking pictures of your pictures?”
“Remember I said I was starting a website for my work? We’re choosing a handful of my pictures to sell as prints and reproductions and this is one of them. I thought I was finished with my side of the website but the site designer decided he wants pictures of the prints as they’ll look hanging in someone’s home. We could photoshop them into a preexisting photo but this is better. It lets me get the lighting right for each of the images we want to highlight.”
She started clearing away the equipment, apparently satisfied with the shots she’d gotten. “We’ll also sell things like thank you cards and notepads with the images on them so those all have to be photographed as well. This is the boring commercial side to what I do. Someday, maybe I’ll make enough off my pictures to turn this side of things over to an assistant so I can get back to just taking the pictures that I love,” she said with a wry smile.
Andrew held up a DVD. “The latest Bourne movie. Seen it yet?”
“Nope. Taking a chance I’d like action, huh? What makes you think I didn’t want a romantic comedy?” She teased as she started shutting off the bright lights. She seemed to be trying to busy herself with her work and Andrew wondered if she was nervous.
He returned her laugh. “I was hoping it would be okay but I have a sappy romance in the car if we need it, just in case.”
“Nice.” she smiled and waved him into the kitchen.
Jill pulled out the leftovers from the previous night and began zapping containers in the microwave. They opened the containers and piled plates high – with him taking about three times as much food as she did – before going back to the couch to eat in front of the fireplace.
Jill hit a switch that turned on the gas flames and then curled her feet under her on the couch.
“So,” Andrew said between bites of food, “you must travel around a lot to take pictures of different sites. I mean, being a nature photographer, you must have been to some amazing places.”
She shook her head as she swallowed a bite of food. “You would think, but I’ve mostly stayed around here, so far. Jake saw my photography as a ‘little hobby’ so he never supported trips or anything that would have meant investing time or money in it. Luckily for me, living in Connecticut meant I could drive to the beach and the mountains and take advantage of all four seasons. I do want to start traveling now, though.”
Andrew’s jaw hit the floor. He couldn’t believe anyone could look at Jill’s photographs and not see the incredible talent in them. Not want to support that talent, to help it grow. “You’re kidding, right?”
She grimaced. “No. Sadly, I’m not. I didn’t really see his lack of support as an issue when we were married. I had blinders on to all these faults Jake had. After we separated, it was like coming out of a fog and realizing how one-sided our marriage was. He controlled everything and our whole world was about him.”
“Wow. You married an ass,” Andrew said bluntly. “Sorry, I guess that’s rude, but you really married an ass.”
He couldn’t stop himself from saying it again. Her ex-husband couldn’t be described as anything other than a first-class jackass.
Jill smiled ruefully. “I know. I thought we had this perfect marriage and perfect life but when I look back on it I realize I was fooling myself the whole time. All that mattered to him was his career and how I looked on his arm as his wife. I was an accessory. You know what’s sad? He didn’t even know how I took my coffee. After seven years of marriage, he didn’t even know the most basic information about me like whether I take cream or sugar in my coffee.”
Cream. Two sugars.
He couldn’t understand how the Jill Walsh he remembered let this happen. Maybe the fifteen-year-old Andrew had put her on a pedestal. Maybe she hadn’t been as strong and independent and smart and funny and confident as he thought. She’d let this guy treat her like shit.
“You do realize you’re lucky he left you, right?” He finally asked.
Jill winced but then gave him a small smile. “I know. I really do, but it doesn’t make me feel like less of a fool. Sometimes I just feel so stupid.” She blinked back tears. She looked so vulnerable.
“Oh, Jill, it wasn’t your fault.” Andrew felt helpless watching her.
“I know. Intellectually, I know it wasn’t my fault he cheated, but I can’t help feeling like maybe I...” She let the thought drop off, as if not able to voice her fears.
“Ah. That’s where the rebound guy comes in.” He smiled, bringing them back around to her drunken confession of her rebound plans for him.
Andrew watched as Jill’s face flushed and he smiled at her embarrassment. She was really cute when she was bashful. He set his plate down on the coffee table in front of them. He took Jill’s empty plate out of her hands and set it down as well.
Andrew turned to face her and placed his hands on her thighs, squeezing just enough to get her attention. He buried a smile when he saw her squirm under his gaze.
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Jill’s cheek. He pulled back and locked eyes with her. Then, slowly, giving her a chance to stop him if she wanted to, he let his mouth graze her delicate jaw line. He dipped his head to her neck and nuzzled her soft skin. Jill gasped and the hitch in breathing matched his own.
Andrew stopped and held his forehead against Jill’s, then spoke quietly.
“Then we have a problem. Because I don’t think I can watch you rebound with another guy.”
She pulled back, her eyes rounded in surprise. The look only lasted a second before she blushed and tried to look away but Andrew placed his hand under her chin and tilted her eyes to his.
“I’ve tried to resist this, Jill. God knows I’ve tried, but I just can’t. When I’m with you, it takes all I have to keep my hands off you. When I’m not with you, all I’m thinking about is how and when I can get back to you. I want to make you understand how wrong your husband was. I want to be the one to give that to you. To give you back your confidence.”
He watched a rush of emotions play across her face. Before she could answer, he dipped his head to hers and brushed his lips softly over her mouth.
God what he would do to this mouth when she let him free on it. When he had permission to go further.
“Say yes, Jill. Please say yes. Yes to completely no-strings-attached sex for as long as we both want – and to not sleeping with anyone else while we’re together.” He paused and looked at her as he laid out the terms and watched her turn an even deeper shade of red. “For safety’s sake.”
He kissed her again, more firmly this time. Gently exploring the full softness of her lips, the sensual curve of her mouth, delving in to touch her tongue with just the very tip of his.
“If either of us wants to end things, we walk away with no ties, no hard feeling, no obligations. Just complete fun, guaranteed to bring back your confidence. And carefully designed for us to remain good friends even after it ends.”
He smiled and waggled his eyebrows at her, causing her to break into laughter that diffused the tension.
He was attempting to keep things light, but the few small kisses had pushed his control to the brink. He was hanging on by a thread as he waited for Jill’s answer.
“I don’t know, Andrew. I know it was my idea, but I’ve never done anything like that before.” She lowered her eyes as if she couldn’t look him in the eye. It dawned on him that she might not have been with anyone other than her husband.
He reached out and brushed a finger down her cheek, causing her to look back at him. That single touch shot right to his groin and he knew if she didn’t say yes, he needed to get the hell out of there. He’d need to run fast and far in the other direction if she said no. Shit, he should probably run like hell even if she said yes.
“Haven’t done what, Jill?”
“Um, just you know, had sex without a real relationship,” she said quietly, her eyes big and round.
“Have you been with anyone other than Jake?” He asked her softly.
He knew he probably shouldn’t pry into the intimate details of her marriage but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to know what she’d been through. He wanted to fix everything for her. It killed him to think Jill had doubts about herself.
She shook her head and he cursed silently. If Jill had never slept with anyone other than Jake, Andrew would bet she’d had years of that selfish ass satisfying no one but himself in the bedroom.
God, how had she tied herself to such a pig when she could have had any man on the planet drooling over her? She was so smart, and beautiful, so talented. How had she ended up with a guy like Jake?
“Then, you’re gonna love this,” Andrew said with a grin and leaned in to brush his lips against hers again. He waited a breath to see if she would push him away and when she didn’t, he tangled his hands into her hair and pulled her toward him.
Andrew deepened the kiss with a sweep of his tongue.
Jill went stiff for a second but then melted into his hold and he felt her begin to kiss him back.
He broke the kiss and held his forehead to hers as he caught his breath and let her catch her bearings.
“Are you okay with this, Jill?” he asked.
Say yes. Please, say yes.
She nodded and then confirmed with a small ‘yes.’
H hadn’t realized that he had been holding his breath, waiting to see her answer. He scooped Jill up and carried her upstairs, only mildly aware that as they made their retreat upstairs, Rev cleaned the remnants of food from their plates.
Jill felt a thrill of anticipation ripple over the fear and nerves running through her. Although she had been in one other long relationship before Jake and had been intimate with that man, they had never actually made love.
With her limited experience, Jill was filled with trepidation at the thought that she might not know what to do with Andrew. That she might not be able to satisfy him.
With Jake, their sex life had always been nice, it certainly hadn’t been mind-blowing at all. She’d tried hard to please Jake, but when Jill heard some of her friends talk about being with their boyfriends or husbands, she always wondered about their enthusiasm. Her friends made it sound like their experiences were so much better than hers. What if there was something wrong with her?
When she’d thought about a meaningless fling, it seemed like such a great idea. Jill thought she could be as free and laid back about things as some of her girlfriends were in the bedroom. But now, when she was on the verge of actually going through with things, she couldn’t help but wonder if this was a monumentally humiliating mistake.
Andrew stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at her expectantly, then laughed when Jill just looked back at him, unsure of what to say.
“Which room, Jill?”
“Oh! Sorry. End of the hall.” She gestured to the right. He carried her toward the bedroom she had used as a girl and had taken over again when she returned to her grandparents’ house.
Andrew set her down outside the door and then turned the knob and opened the room.
He seemed to sense her hesitation and she marveled at his patience, at the gentleness as he pulled her into another kiss before looking at her.
“I promise. We’ll go slowly and you can stop me any time you want to. You say the word and we’ll stop, honey.”
Jill’s stomach fluttered as the endearment fell off Andrew’s tongue. Jake had never been very free with things like pet names or affections.
Andrew took her hand and led her to the bed, laying her down but watching her, meeting her gaze. She thought she would drown in his eyes if she weren’t careful but she couldn’t break the hold he had over her. She really didn’t want to break the hold Andrew had over her.
She realized, nervous as she was, she didn’t want to pass this up. He already made her feel desirable and wanted again. Something told her that being with him wouldn’t be anything like being with Jake. And she was ready for something new, something new and different.
Andrew certainly fit the bill. On all counts.