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The Quest for Confidence

For you to have picked up this book and got this far, my guess is that you never set out to work in sales, but through an alternative skill, passion, or opportunity you have found yourself with the need to become more skilled in the area of salesmanship to support your core profession.

Perhaps the most important attribute to demonstrate in the world of sales is that of confidence, yet when your experience is low in this area, you can easily find yourself ill equipped for the task at hand. If you've never done something before, how can you expect to be confident in it? Knowing how important confidence is and knowing that it's an essential part of success, throughout my career I've studied exactly how confidence is created.

To find confidence in something, you need to move through three steps in your experience that are associated with that very thing:

  1. Knowledge. The first thing you need to become more confident is a base level of understanding or knowledge about the thing in question.

    Let's take, as an example, a trivial task. Being British‐born, I will use the example of making a cup of tea. The first thing you would need to do is to gain knowledge of the components that go into tea making, the techniques associated with it, and the different methods of producing the finished cups. You could watch videos, read manuals, and observe others to grow your knowledge of the art form and learn various methods. This step is essential, yet it will only take you so far.

    In a business context, I have met hundreds of trainers, lecturers, and other business professionals who can talk with deep knowledge about what is involved in achieving success, yet without the following steps, their value is limited.

  2. Experience. Having started by gaining the theory, you are now able to move to the next step in your quest for confidence, which is gaining a feeling of confidence in yourself. The only way you can obtain a true feeling of confidence is following personal experience. It is only after having done something once that you will feel more capable of doing the same or better the next time—it creates a benchmark. Sticking with the example of making this cup of tea, this would mean taking everything you have learned, going through the process of pouring hot water over tea leaves in your chosen method, and learning from the results. Try it to get a feel for it, to get an understanding of the different results that can be achieved, and try without the worry of making something perfect. Very quickly you learned that you can make it in a pot or a cup. You learned that what you need to do is pour hot water over a tea bag. You learned that it needs to steep for a while, but you're never going to understand the difference in taste until you've experimented a little, until you've tried the thing.

    The only way to grow your confidence in the selling process is to gain the experience of being in hundreds of sales conversations. You must experience the easy ones, the challenging ones, the times you make big mistakes, and the subtleties that can create dramatic differences in direction. Be brave enough to start by gaining the experience. Forget about being perfect, and focus on what the experience teaches you.

  3. Expertise. Only at this point can you start to develop your expertise. Expertise is the combination of knowledge and experience and results in your certainty in what you know. Having made almost as many cups of tea in my lifetime as I have experienced sales conversations, I have the ability to understand the difference between good and bad, I can appreciate the factors that create those differences, and I can be honest about the changes I would need to make to improve the next time.

    Creating this honesty about your own performance is what delivers the pivotal point for your self‐confidence. Accepting what went well and what could be improved and having some knowledge about how you can make those improvements leads to a high‐achieving mindset.

    You can learn a lot from the experience of others—gain knowledge from people who have walked the path before you. There are countless resources in this world to help you grow. Just be sure to understand that your fastest and most rewarding growth comes from taking what you have learned, putting it into practice, learning from the experience, and then being honest enough to get better for the next time.

This chapter explores tools and techniques that you can use to increase your confidence ahead of your sales conversations and give yourself a fair advantage by preparing properly in advance.

Have You Done Your Homework?

It can be very easy to get lost in the details associated with your products or services and your profession as a whole. Please never lose sight of what industry you are really in—the one commonality for you and every other business in the land is that you are in the business of helping people. When you are looking to communicate with someone for the first time, ask yourself the following question: Am I looking to fix the problem or help the person?

I know what answer you are likely to give. I also know that most frequently, when people prepare for a sales conversation, the sole focus of that conversation is directed at fixing the problem, through embellishing on the brilliance of the product or service and explaining the detailed benefits that can help fix the problem.

It is unlikely that you will ever create a powerful enough connection with someone if your focus is aimed at solving the problem before you have gained their trust. Decisions are typically based on emotion, before any logic is involved in confirming them. You have a responsibility as a professional to know who it is that you are speaking with. A detailed knowledge of the customers you would like to have, the prospects you are working on, and your existing customers is a necessity in maximizing your success. The important thing to remember, though, is that people buy from people, not organizations. By researching and understanding what is important to the key decision makers you are approaching, you can cause your confidence to soar and your ability to create a connection and control a meaningful conversation to significantly increase.

Things that you should know ahead of a conversation are as follows:

  • What the prospect looks like—Having seen a picture of your prospect ahead of time, you can instantly recognize them, and your greeting is likely to be warmer and more confident as a result.
  • Their hobbies and interests—A knowledge of the person under the surface can help you identify factors that allow you to find common ground quickly.
  • The decision‐making process—Finding the names and positions of all others involved in the decision‐making process gives you the ability to understand how far you can take each conversation and who else needs to be involved in the process.
  • Career history—Knowing their length of service in the existing role, the companies they have worked with previously, and other industries they have served gives you numerous opportunities to steer a conversation to a position of confidence for all parties.
  • Mutual acquaintances—Knowing who they know that you know gives you the chance to use those names in conversation and win trust from trading on existing trusted relationships.
  • Their competition—In a B2B setting, an awareness of who they are looking to win business against quickly identifies you as being on their team, as an ally in helping them to achieve their goals.
  • Any public records or press releases—Knowing their plans, awards, and recognition or any public acknowledgement of their contribution to the world gives you an inside track to be able to talk about their interests and objectives.

This can sound like a huge amount of work ahead of time, yet experience tells me that it saves a lot of time in the long run and positions you as a true professional when you arrive in the moment of the conversation. Much of the information is readily available should you choose to look for it. Years ago this would have been a huge task, yet today the Internet delivers for us almost instantly and typically without financial expense. Company websites give facts, and personal profiles such as those on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter often provide a wealth of valuable information.

In a sales conversation you are looking to win the buyer's confidence that you are the right person for the job. It is very similar to an interview process for employment, and it is common knowledge that a candidate highly enhances their chances of success if they research the opportunity ahead of the interview. Increase your chances of winning the sale by doing your research ahead of time.

Making Your Own Luck

For many people looking to open a new door, a referred opportunity from an existing client or contact would be their ideal first approach. A referral provides a warmer opportunity, and because your chances of success are significantly higher, your confidence is high. This success is largely created through the transfer of trust between the source of the referral and the potential new buyer of your product or service.

By doing your homework, you can replicate this trust relationship with stone‐cold prospects. Follow these three simple steps:

  1. Find out who the potential buyer already does business with.
  2. Find out who their fiercest competitor is.
  3. Find out if you have a mutual acquaintance who is well respected, either a local or a national figure.

Once armed with this information, ensure your meeting includes the following three ingredients, in this order:

  1. Start with an open discussion about how you both know, or have an interest in, the mutual acquaintance.
  2. During conversation, mention the businesses that you work with that are the same as, or similar to, the organizations your prospect works with. If there are no familiar businesses, then name‐drop your most recognized contact.
  3. Toward the end of the meeting, subtly allude to a future conversation or interaction with their competitor.

Following these simple steps, what you achieve is instant rapport and trust thanks to the mutual acquaintance, then credibility from your awareness of others in their field. You then trigger a fear of loss from the mention of you possibly working with their competitor. Channeling these three steps through a sales meeting helps increase your chances of the buyer choosing to work with you.

Tools of the Trade

Attending a sales meeting can be a daunting experience that often results in people either being massively underprepared or hiding behind their marketing literature. In every sales role I have been in, there are some essential “must haves” that are necessary for success. Everything else is just “nice to have” or, worse still, can stop you selling.

Notepad and pen—Taking notes before, during, and after meetings is a valuable task. It can ensure that you cover all you wish to cover, show that you are serious about doing business, help you listen effectively, and ensure that all relevant agreements are actioned. Don't leave home without them.

Watch—Time is an incredibly valuable resource to both sales professionals and customers. Ensuring you respect it is paramount in your success. Wearing a watch is a visual indicator that you value time.

Diary—Without a diary, you can't plan follow‐ups, reschedule appointments, or prioritize actions. Today the concept of a diary spans from the traditional paper based to the more common electronic options that can be connected across multiple devices – The objective is to have access to your schedule at all times and can reference it in conversations with customers and prospects. Have it with you at all times.

Phone—The world of sales is fast paced and full of changing circumstances. The ability to communicate immediately is a necessity, and being able to pick up the telephone, have a real conversation, and make decisions helps you keep momentum. The phone is a sales professional's best friend.

Accurate client records—From the beginning of your journey, you should keep accurate records on all of your existing and potential customers. Whether it is computer‐based CRM or a paper‐based set of client files, maintaining a fluid record of communications and information will win you masses of extra business from having the perfect memory you know you don't have personally.

Data collection tool—Historically, people would hand out business cards and hope that it started the conversations desired. Instead, be ready to collect the contact details of others and land your permission‐based introduction to them the minute you meet in person. Be ready to exchange numbers, swap e‐mail addresses, or connect on a social media platform—just decide how you do it and be ready to move quickly when the moment arises.

Order forms—It may seem obvious, but the number of times I have seen sales staff miss opportunities because they did not have the ability to take an order there and then…!

Many of you reading this are perhaps thinking that there are tons of other items essential in your business, and perhaps you are right.

However, please consider that the salesperson's job is to give the prospect enough information to make a decision and then to ask for that decision. Very often, pre‐prescribed sales presenters, product catalogues, and samples can all give customers the feeling of being sold to and gain a response of indecision, such as “Leave me a brochure and I will get back to you.”

Keeping Your Head in the Game

Being responsible for winning new sales is tough. It comes with a list of challenges and obstacles that many of us never even knew existed before we started meeting with prospects and looking to influence decisions. It's certainly no easy ride; from the long days to the unpredictable outcomes, it can become difficult to maintain a positive outlook, optimistic attitude, and high energy level when the challenge of always looking for more is ever present.

There is no secret formula for overcoming these challenges, but over the years I have learned some simple skills and techniques that have really helped me and many of my clients to work through challenges and continue to build a successful book of business.

  • Take the time to establish why you are doing what you are doing. Your business should be your vehicle to help you achieve all that you wish for in life. Write a detailed list of all the things that you wish to have, all the events you wish to experience, and all the qualities you wish to possess. In understanding your reasons for putting in all this effort, you will find the determination that will help you plow through those challenging times.
  • Consider who you take advice from. You are being conditioned by your environment from the very first moment you are born, and those who you spend your time with have a massive impact on your life. I have had countless lessons of this where I have experienced both extremes, from very positive to very negative conditioning. However, the people we need to consider most are those who are closest to us. Our loved ones, families, and friends all have significant feelings, and they often reveal their duty of care and safety when they add doubt and caution to your plans. As a result of this, I very rarely speak about business with my family, since they have been conditioned by a very different world. Take the advice you need to grow your business exclusively from those who have achieved what you are looking to achieve.
  • Visualize your achievements. Most people have a giant list of uncompleted tasks on some variation of a to‐do list. Trying to complete the impossible task of clearing that list can be tiresome at best, and it certainly has a negative effect on your confidence when you are looking at a mountain of incomplete actions. Your confidence is created from your experience. I am certain that across your life to date you have catalogued hundreds of meaningful achievements and forgotten the fact that you have a proven track record of success. Counteract your list of incomplete tasks by running a record of achievement and documenting as many of your personal successes as possible. Go back as far as you can remember, list your victories, and keep adding to the list. Maintaining a victory journal like this, as well as surrounding myself with any awards, trophies, and photos of proud moments, keeps my self‐doubt at bay by reminding me that I'm building on past successes.
  • Have a mentor. Choosing someone that can bring you their experience, help answer questions, and ask you the questions you are too afraid to ask yourself is a great aid when dealing with challenging times. Remember that it is your job to choose the mentor, rather than them choosing you.
  • Win when you are winning. It is very easy to take your foot off the gas and enjoy the limelight when you reach a level of success. Be your own champion, and when things are going well for you, keep riding that wave and enjoy the momentum it goes on to create.

Know Your Enemy

The existence of competitors in your space confirms that you have a true market and provides you with benchmarks to be compared against. Nobody wants to win a one‐horse race. Understanding the position you play within your entire marketplace is essential for you to be able to sell yourself and your offering appropriately.

Take the time to explore how you are similar to your competition and identify the exact things you do that are different. You may find the nuances of your difference in the “why” or the “how” you do things, more so than the specifics around “what” you do.

It is highly likely that you will find yourself in many conversations in which you are selling against a competitor. To appear different from your competitors, you must demonstrate that you are different and act differently. It is only possible to enhance your position of difference if you know what you are being compared to. Conduct an analysis of each of your competitors and find out exactly how you can outmaneuver them, grow your market share, and intelligently talk about the value of your offering in comparison to theirs.

The minimum areas for you to analyze are the components of a SWOT analysis. Bring your awareness to these areas:

  • Strengths—In which specific areas do you feel your competitor has an advantage over you?
  • Weaknesses—In what areas is your competitor currently exposed?
  • Opportunities—How can you position your offering to create an advantage for yourself?
  • Threats—Where do you need to protect yourself from the strength in their offering, and how could this affect your success?

The knowledge you gain from this is only to be used to position your value within the marketplace. To be respected by your customers, never devalue yourself by down‐talking your competitors. Simply talk about what they do and what you do differently.

Levels of Success: Thinking BIG

A phrase that has echoed around sales seminars for decades is that every “no” is just one step closer to a “yes.” Although I understand that the premise behind this statement is persistence, optimism, and determination, I have always struggled with its practicality in the real world.

The truth, through my personal experience, is that every time I hear the word no, it hurts. We take this rejection personally, and this underlying fear of rejection is one factor that prevents many very talented people from realizing what they are truly capable of.

Placing such strong emphasis on the concrete outcome of the sales discussion encourages two very negative outcomes. The first is this immense pressure applied to gain the sale in the moment, and the second is the belief that the amount of success available is contained and finite. The result can then be that you find yourself holding back on opportunities for fear of rejection, or, perhaps more typically, finding yourself celebrating success before the job is complete.

Think about every transaction you have ever been a part of. When you think of each one honestly, you will realize that there was always more opportunity available and more that you could have mined from the moment. Your enthusiasm, combined with your lack of preparation, can result in you leaving the conversation and later thinking of what you should have said, the questions you could have asked, or the tools that would have supported your success.

The solution for this is to plan your multiple levels of success before every opportunity and consider the specific outcomes you plan to achieve ahead of time. You have complete control to decide the components of your own success in every conversation. The following nine steps make up a typical premeeting plan for me and my clients:

  1. Give a good representation of myself and my company.
  2. Build rapport.
  3. Create a genuine opportunity to introduce our services.
  4. Give the buyer enough information to make an informed decision.
  5. Gain a decision.
  6. Discover what future opportunities may arise.
  7. Schedule our next action.
  8. Ask for referrals.
  9. Gain a referral.

Considering all these desired outcomes ahead of time allows you to become masterfully prepared and develop a conversation track for your discussion, and it significantly reduces the chances of you forgetting to bring something, say something, or do something in the moment. It is great practice to physically document your desired outcomes for every sales conversation ahead of time, and there are a number of very tangible reasons why.

Confidence

Success in sales is not black and white. Very often customers do not make up their minds to do business with us in the first meeting. By understanding which level of success you have achieved with your buyer, you have removed the yes/no outcome from the agenda, and you never actually fail. The worst that you have to deal with is that you have just not succeeded yet!

Making the first level of success something within your control provides you with the ability to always succeed to a point. Providing that you continually hit this one, the ball is in play and you have already started to succeed. The trick is to understand that no two scenarios are the same, and sometimes you will race up these steps in one meeting, whereas on other occasions it will take a long time. However, at each point you are winning, and confidence is best achieved through compounding previous successes. Breaking success into smaller levels creates far more opportunities to feel like you are winning. Success regularly breeds more success.

Structure

Planning out your success before you have started can keep you in control and give you direction. It allows you to go through each level one at a time and tick them off in your mind. If you imagine it as building some flat‐packed furniture, you are far more likely to achieve the finished piece by working through the instructions one step at a time and in the right order, as opposed to opening all the boxes and hoping for the best.

You have the ability to write your own structured and systematic process ahead of every major conversation. Through planning, doing, and repeating, you will find yourself having more and more control over the conversations you are a part of.

Getting More

Instead of closing the meeting after the first decision, you now have the ability to add more to your agenda, gather additional sales, learn more information, and collect other valuable resources. Steering the next steps keeps you firmly in the driver's seat and results in increased immediate sales and future opportunities. It also saves you time in follow‐up.