Josh gritted his teeth and marched through the front door of the Yosemite Hotel. If he stayed in the dining room one minute more, he would erupt like a volcano and say words that could never be recalled. How dare Mother patronize Sarah and accuse her of selfishly holding Ellie back? Church members and nonmembers alike heaped praise on Sarah. They obviously considered her one of the finest women in the valley, and according to Red Fallon, Sarah was a true angel of forgiveness. As for Edward, Josh’s anger burned hotter with every step.
He caught sight of Tim loping down Main Street ahead of him. “Wait up,” Josh called. Tim glanced back, paused, and waited. A white line around the boy’s tightly closed mouth and the lightning that flickered in his eyes warned of an impending storm. It broke when Josh reached him.
“Your brother’s not much like you, is he?” Tim burst out. “You’d never come up with a fool idea like taking Ellie to San Francisco.”
“No.” A world of regret poured into Josh’s reply and a look of understanding passed between them. “Not that she isn’t talented enough. She is. Edward’s right about that, but high society is no place for Ellie. She’s far too unsophisticated for the circles in which Mother and Edward travel.”
Fear darkened Tim’s eyes until they looked almost black. “Yeah, but Ellie may not think so.” He kicked at the road, and swirls of yellow dust rose. “Did you see her face when your brother was spouting about this being her big opportunity? And then she ran out! I wanted to hit your brother for making her look like that.”
“So did I,” Josh confessed. “I wish he and Mother had never come to Madera.”
“Same here. I’m afraid Ellie may fall for all that stuff. Come on. We gotta find her.” Tim cocked his head to one side. “She probably went back to the church.” He started on, easily keeping pace with Josh’s long strides. “Hey, I guess being a preacher doesn’t stop you from getting mad, does it?”
“No.” Josh produced a feeble grin. “It just keeps me from hitting folks!”
Tim grunted but fell silent. Josh suspected that for once he didn’t have a reply.
When they reached Christ the Way, Josh warned, “We need to go in quietly. If Ellie’s praying, we don’t want to bother her.” He opened the door, and they stepped inside. Only silence from the empty room greeted them.
Tim looked wise. “When things bother Ellie, she likes to go off by herself. She probably figured the church is the first place we’d look for her. We’ll find her outside somewhere.”
It didn’t take long to discover Ellie’s refuge. Josh spotted her beneath the huge oak tree, a yellow-clad figure drooping in a way that tore at his heart. Unwilling to interrupt her solitude, he put his finger to his lips and motioned Tim back. They retreated to the church steps and waited without speaking. Josh could sense waves of pain and helplessness coming from the boy beside him. Tim stood on the brink of manhood, ready to leave his little-brother role and become Ellie’s protector.
Josh longed to offer words of comfort, but they stuck in his throat. Edward and Mother had stirred Ellie’s interest, or she wouldn’t have run away to be alone. What would it mean to his future with the girl he loved? Could she withstand the persuasiveness of Letitia and Edward Stanhope, the lure of adulation?
Josh tried to brush aside his anxiety, but it stuck to him like a hungry mosquito. So did doubts about Edward. Josh had seen the astonished delight in his brother’s face when Ellie sang. Edward knew and loved good music. He could have been an accomplished pianist if he’d cared enough to practice instead of chasing after other interests. Would loyalty to his twin overcome the impact of Ellie’s freshness and innocence while Edward helped her climb to the pinnacle of success? Josh closed his eyes and silently prayed, Not my will but Thine be done.
At last Ellie rose and came toward them. Her tear-stained face bore mute witness to her inner turmoil. Love for Josh shone clear and true in her beautiful eyes, but she had obviously been deeply affected by his family’s proposition.
Letitia and Edward Stanhope extended their stay at the Yosemite Hotel. They suffered the twenty-mile round-trip to the ranch and back to plead with the Sterlings to allow Ellie to accompany them back to the city. They again pointed out the advantages Ellie would have. She felt like a wishbone, torn between clinging to the security of the life she knew and loved and the life the Stanhopes offered—most of all, the chance to be someone and make a difference in the lives of others. Prayer brought little peace. She wavered between saying no outright and agreeing to go for a short time.
The turmoil created by the Stanhopes’ persistence didn’t end with Ellie. Or with Tim or Josh, drawn together by common concern. It profoundly affected the Diamond S family and friends. Matt, Sarah, and Seth adamantly opposed Ellie’s going to San Francisco. To Ellie’s amazement, Seth’s wife, Dori, firmly disagreed.
“Remember when I just had to go to school in Boston?” she asked Matt early one evening in the sitting room before the fire when the discussion raged hot and heavy. Ellie sat in a shadowy corner at one side, listening without speaking.
Her brother made a face. “Do I ever! Do you remember how you hated it?”
Dori tossed her dark curls. “Do I ever!” she mimicked, bright blue eyes shining. “Even though it became a disaster, I’m glad I went.”
“Why?” Tim demanded from his spot on the floor in front of the fire.
Dori sobered. “I had to go away in order to appreciate what I have here.” She smiled at Seth. “I have a feeling Ellie will do the same.”
He shook his head and looked troubled. “After the freedom of living on the ranch, I’m afraid she will be like a wild bird in a cage.”
It felt strange being discussed as if she were not present, yet Ellie remained silent and allowed the talk to flow around her.
Solita spoke for the first time since the conversation began. For once, her timeworn brown hands lay idle in her lap. “If our Sierra Songbird goes to the city and Dios does not wish her to remain, no bars will hold her.” She turned to Ellie, and her black eyes softened. “Senorita, what does your heart say?”
The moment of truth Ellie had dreaded ever since the Stanhopes dangled the promise of fame and fortune before her lay heavy in the quiet room. Only the crackle of the fire and the happy laughter of children at play outside the front door broke the silence.
Ellie clenched her hands until the nails bit into her palms. Tears sneaked past her eyelids. She knew they left glistening tracks on their journey down her cheeks. Her voice came out barely above a whisper. “I’ve prayed and prayed about it. I don’t want to leave you and the ranch, but I feel like I must go.” It was out, the words she’d known must be said but that would change her life, perhaps forever.
Tim, who had been unusually quiet during the exchange, leaped to his feet and glared at her. “For crying out loud, are you crazy? What about Josh? The minute you leave, Amy will be—”
“Tim!” Matt interrupted. “That’s enough. We appreciate how you feel, but this has to be Ellie’s decision: no one else’s.”
Tim gave him a rebellious look and stalked out. Ellie put her hands over her burning face, glad for her dimly lit corner. But Tim’s question refused to be ignored. What about Josh? Just this afternoon Matt had called Ellie aside and repeated the interview in which Josh confessed his feelings and received permission to keep company with her.
“He’s only been here a short time, but I believe Josh loves you the way I love Sarah,” Matt had said. “He’s a fine man, Ellie. You’ll never do better.”
Now, still ecstatic over Matt’s affirmation, Ellie’s decision to leave Madera faltered once more. How could she go hundreds of miles away into a new and perhaps frightening world when the love she wanted more than life itself remained in Madera? The next moment she steadied her churning mind. Surely Josh’s love—and hers—could endure a short separation. Besides, as Solita said, if God didn’t want Ellie to stay in San Francisco she could come home as Dori had.
The thought comforted her. I truly believe You want me to go, Lord, she prayed that night while lying in bed and looking out the window at the winking stars. It’s my chance to become worthy of Josh. And to rid myself forever of the stigma of being Gus Stoddard’s daughter. She fell asleep, dreaming of cattle and cable cars, cowboys and creek beds, and the clang of the city the Stanhopes had described.
The dream changed to an all-too-familiar nightmare, but one Ellie hadn’t had for years. The sounds of San Francisco and the San Joaquin Valley changed to childish voices, taunting and cruel: “ You ain’t nothing, Ellianna Stoddard. Neither’s your Pa. Trash, that’s what you are—and you ain’t never gonna be nothin’ else.”
The cry of a coyote awakened Ellie, mocking as the voices in her dream. Instead of the sickening feeling that had always followed the dream, however, determination flooded through her. “You’re wrong about me,” she fiercely whispered to the haunting voices. “With God’s help, I’ll show you, San Francisco—and the world.”
Her mind raced. Her purpose grew. “I’m going to work hard and become everything Edward and Mrs. Stanhope promised: rich, famous, and a blessing to others. I had enough trouble as a child to be called Job’s granddaughter. This is my chance to have people look up to me, not down on me. I will learn to be a wife of whom Josh can be proud.”
When Ellie again fell asleep, no dreams troubled her. She awoke resolved to carry out the vow she had made in the night hours—and sent word to the Stanhopes she was willing to leave Madera.
Two days later Ellie shook the dust of her past off her new, stylish boots and left for San Francisco with Mrs. Stanhope and Edward.
Ellie bade Josh a heart-wrenching good-bye. When he clasped her hands as if he’d never let her go, Ellie wanted to fling herself into his arms, regardless of the crowd at the station. Only the desire to become worthy of the unguarded love shining in Josh’s eyes kept Ellie true to her course. The last thing she saw when the train wheels began their clackety-clack to carry her away was Josh waving from the steps of Christ the Way Church. Tim stood beside him, somber faced and with arms crossed.
Ellie’s vision blurred. For one wild moment, she longed to cry out, “Stop the train!” Instead, she raised her chin, set her face toward the west, and didn’t look back.