I pleaded with Cora to keep Charity in the kitchen and then headed out into the dining room. After checking up on the customers, I walked slowly toward Clay’s table, feeling as if I could barely control my body. My legs felt like gelatin, and the cold terror that seemed to hold my heart in its icy grip made it hard to breathe.
I quickly sat down across from him, only because I was worried about passing out. Why was he here? What could he want? He looked even more handsome than I remembered. His brown hair was combed back from his face, making his widow’s peak visible. And although his eyes were hazel and Charity’s were dark brown, the shape of his eyes and his turned-up nose were mirror images of my daughter’s. The similarities were striking. Even more than I’d imagined. Not being able to find my voice, I simply waited.
“Hello, Lizzie,” he said finally. “Sorry to just drop in like this. I don’t mean to upset you.”
“What do you want, Clay?” My voice was weak and shaky, but I didn’t care.
He looked around the packed room. Several people stared at us. Although most Kingdom residents had never met Clay because he’d lived in Washington, it probably wasn’t hard to put two and two together. Especially since he looked so much like Charity. “This might not be a good time to talk,” he said. “I know you’re busy.”
“What do you want?” I asked again. “I’m not getting up from this table until you tell me why you’re here.”
He cleared his throat. He was nervous, and it caught me by surprise. He’d always been so confident, so sure of himself.
“I’ve been looking for you for a long time, Lizzie,” he said, his voice low. “But no one here would tell me where you were.”
“That’s interesting,” I said. “You knew where I was when I was pregnant. And you knew where I was for quite a while after Charity was born. Maybe I’m just forgetful, but I don’t remember hearing anything from you. Of course, I was approached by your parents, offering me money for an abortion.”
“I-I know,” he stammered. “And I’m sorry. That wasn’t my idea—it was my father’s. He moved us from Washington, Lizzie, even though I didn’t want to go.” He stared down at the table for a moment, as if trying to gather his thoughts. When he looked up, I was startled to see tears in his eyes. “You probably won’t believe this, but I wanted to marry you. My father freaked out, sold our house, and took Mom and me to Seattle.”
“I was still in Kingdom then, Clay,” I snapped. “Again, I don’t remember receiving a proposal. Or anything else.”
He nodded. “I know, and you’re right; I should have come for you sooner. I’m sorry. I was confused and a little afraid of my father. But I really did try to find you.” He shook his head. “If you can’t forgive me, I’ll understand. But if you would only talk to me, I—”
“Are you okay, Lizzie?”
I jumped at the sound of a male voice from behind me. Noah stood next to my chair, staring fiercely at Clay.
“I-I’m fine, Noah. But thanks for—”
“What are you doing here, Clay?” Noah said, cutting me off. “Seems like you’re running about five or six years behind schedule.”
“Sorry,” Clay said darkly, “but I’m not sure what business this is of yours.” He looked back and forth between us. “Are you two—”
“No,” I said, quickly. “We’re not anything.” I grabbed Noah’s arm. “Thank you, Noah, but I’m okay. Really.”
He nodded slowly, still glaring at Clay. “If you need me . . . for any reason, just let me know.”
“I will. I promise. But for now, it might be best if you would go back and finish your pie.”
Noah finally stopped scowling at Clay and peered into my eyes. “All right. But I intend to hang around for a while. Until this guy leaves.”
Clay started to say something, but I held my hand up, and he shut his mouth.
“Thank you,” I said, “but that won’t be necessary. Clay will be leaving shortly. Trust me.”
With one last withering look aimed at Clay, Noah turned and left.
“Wow, what’s up with that guy?” Clay asked. “He always seemed to have a chip on his shoulder. Especially when it came to you.”
“Maybe so,” I said. “But he’s trustworthy and honest. Unlike some people.”
Clay’s face fell. “I guess I deserve that, Lizzie. But all I’m asking for is thirty minutes of your time. I just want a chance to explain.”
“I really couldn’t care less. Your explanation isn’t the least bit important to me anymore.”
“Thirty minutes, and I’ll never bother you again. I promise.” He blinked nervously several times. “And . . . maybe I could see Charity? Just once before I go?”
That same frozen hand of fear tightened around my heart again. “Why, Clay?”
He leaned closer to me, and I could smell the scent of his cologne. It was the same one he’d worn the night Charity was conceived. Just that brief whiff made me feel a little faint. “Lizzie, I’m not here to hurt you. Please believe me. I just came to apologize and offer you some help. Financially, I mean. You should have had my support all along, and I want to make it up to you. There’s a check for five thousand dollars in my pocket. I know it’s not enough, but at least it’s a start. And if you decide you don’t want me to see Charity, I’ll accept that. I’ll still help you both with whatever you need.”
“What I needed was you. In person. Not your money, although that certainly would have made things easier.” I noticed Cora taking an order from a nearby table. “I’ve got to get back to work,” I said, standing to my feet. “Cora needs me.”
“Will you let me wait for you until the restaurant closes?” he pleaded. “Please, Lizzie.”
I wanted to tell him no. Wanted to order him to get out, but the man in the red ball cap was still out there. If I suddenly had to leave Kingdom, that five thousand dollars could be the difference between losing Charity or keeping us together. How could I afford to send him away?
“I guess you can stay, but I have no intention of letting you hurt my daughter. You’ve caused all the damage you’re going to.”
“I understand.”
I started to walk away when I thought of something and came back. “How did you know I was here? Did Roger Carson tell you?”
Clay didn’t say anything, just looked at me.
“You can tell me the truth. He’s the only person I’ve seen who would contact you.” I shook my head. “He acted like he cared about me, even gave me his number and told me to call him if I needed help. I threw his card away because I knew he couldn’t be trusted. Boy, I was right about that.”
“Roger called me because he does care, Lizzie. He knew I’d been looking for you and was trying to help the both of us.”
I snorted. “Yeah, sure. Well, thank him for me the next time you talk to him. ’Cause I’ll never speak to him again as long as I live.”
As I worked to serve the last of our customers, anger fueled me with new energy. Then, as the hour grew later, I began to wonder just who I was mad at. Roger? He barely knew me. Most likely, he really was trying to help his friend, although it would have been nice if he’d asked me what I wanted. Clay? Because he was trying to make things right? In the end, I was probably just angry at myself. I’d caused my own problems from start to finish. If I’d said no to Clay, I wouldn’t be in this mess. Of course, every time I thought that, I also had to face the fact that if I’d said no, I wouldn’t have Charity. And I wasn’t sorry about that. Not at all.
Mother’s words about beauty for ashes floated into my mind. Maybe all the bad things that had happened to me weren’t God’s punishment after all. Ruth’s words, which echoed my grandmother’s, came back to me. “Your father’s love has been conditional, based on your actions. But God’s love is not so. His love never changes. He accepts you unconditionally.” Two fathers. Two different reactions. Or were they? I felt so confused I wasn’t certain about anything anymore. After writing down Avery Menninger’s order wrong, I forced myself to quit thinking about my troubles. I owed it to Cora to concentrate on the job at hand.
It was almost nine thirty when the last family headed out and Cora locked the door behind them. I was cleaning the dishes off their table when she came up next to me. She cast a quick glance at Clay, who had waited patiently for almost two hours.
“Never thought I’d see Clay Troyer again,” she said quietly.
“I didn’t either.”
“I used to buy almost all my supplies from his daddy when he ran that wholesale grocery business in Washington. As soon he was old enough to drive, Clay started delivering them.” She shook her head. “Didn’t like Art Troyer. Mean cuss. His wife always looked so beat down.” She shrugged. “Clay was always nice to me, though. A lot nicer than his father.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought once. That he was nice, I mean. But I found out the hard way that there’s more to him than meets the eye.”
“It’s that way with most folks,” she said. “I don’t like people who show me one face but are busy hidin’ behind another one.” She smiled at me. “That’s one of the reasons I like you so much, Lizzie. You’re exactly who you say you are. One of the most honest people I’ve ever known.”
I felt shamed by her words. If she knew the real reason I’d come to Kingdom, she’d probably be disappointed in me. Just like everyone else.
“What do you want me to do with Charity?” She cocked her head toward the kitchen.
I stepped a little closer to her to ensure that Clay couldn’t hear us. “Would you please take her upstairs for a while? I know you’re tired, and it’s asking a lot, but I won’t be long. I intend to get him out of here as quickly as possible.”
“Of course I will,” she said. “I’d rather spend time with Charity than go home alone. No need to hurry.” She reached out and grabbed my shoulder. “Be careful, Lizzie Lynn. The devil can appear as an angel of light.”
I hugged her. “Clay’s not the devil, Cora. But I’ll be on my guard.”
She nodded. “Okay. I’ll be prayin’ for you, if you don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t mind. I’ll come and get you as soon as—”
Before I could finish my sentence, someone began banging on the front door with so much force the windows rattled.
“What in the world?” Cora said. She hurried up to the front door as the knocking grew louder. “Avery, stop poundin’ on my door like that,” she yelled. “You’re gonna break somethin’.”
I followed her to the front of the room and waited as she unlocked the entrance. Avery Menninger stepped inside, his eyes wild, his hat missing, and his hair standing on end.
“We’ve got to call the sheriff, Cora,” he shouted. “Right away.”
“Avery, calm down,” Cora said. “What in heaven’s name has you in such a tizzy?”
He collapsed into a nearby chair. “I was on my way home, almost to the main road, when I saw an orange car parked on the side of the road. Seemed odd, like some stranger made a wrong turn, so I stopped to see if I could help. Thought the driver had plowed into a tree, ’cause his front bumper was messed up. But there weren’t no tree anywhere close to him. Checked inside the car, but it was empty, so I hitched Glory up to the bumper of the car and went lookin’ for the driver with my flashlight.”
He gulped and ran his hand over his face. “And I found him all right. Lyin’ in the ravine off the side of the road, his head all bashed in.” His eyes moved quickly between the three of us. “Stone-cold dead, he is. Stone-cold dead.”