Chapter 1
As Lenore Otto sat on the bed with Leah, wistfully watching the dusk of late November fill her daughter’s room, her heart was torn. The two of them had shared this evening ritual of talking and praying since Lenore’s husband, Raymond, had died last year. It had always brought her a comforting sense of peace, along with the certainty that she and her daughter would move forward with the plans God had for them. After all the cleaning they’d done and the preparations they’d made to host Leah’s wedding festivities the next day, she was ready to relax—but she needed to speak the words that weighed so heavily on her heart.
Tomorrow, when Leah got married, their lives would follow separate paths. Lenore knew she would be fine remaining on the small farm alone, making and selling her specialty quilts. She supposed some of her qualms about her daughter’s marriage plagued every mother....
Lord, I wish I could believe my Leah’s reaching toward happiness rather than heartache.
Before God’s still, small voice could respond to Lenore, Leah let out an ecstatic sigh. “Oh, Mama, it’s a dream come true,” she whispered. “Starting tomorrow, when I marry Jude, my life will finally be the way I’ve always wanted it. My waiting is over!”
Not for the first time, Lenore sighed inwardly at her daughter’s fantasy. As she returned Leah’s hug, savoring these precious moments in the room where her little girl had matured into a woman of twenty-eight, she didn’t have it in her to shatter Leah’s dreams. No mother wanted her daughter to forever remain a maidel, yet during these final hours before the wedding, Lenore thought she should try once again to point out the realities of marrying Jude Shetler. Jude was a fine, upstanding man any parent would be pleased to welcome as a son-in-law, but as a widower he carried a certain amount of . . . baggage.
“Leah, your life will change in ways you can’t anticipate when you marry,” Lenore began softly. She rested her head against the headboard, grasping her daughter’s hand. “When you move into a man’s home—”
“Oh, Mama, you’ve already told me what to expect in the bedroom,” Leah interrupted with a nervous giggle. “It’s not as though I haven’t seen the cows and the horses mating.”
Lenore closed her eyes, praying for words that would gently pierce the balloon of maidenly naïveté in which Leah seemed to live. “There’s more to marriage than mating,” she whispered earnestly. “You’ll be moving into a home where Jude and his kids have established their routine. We’ve both heard the rumors about how Alice and Adeline might be behaving inappropriately during their rumspringa—”
“They’re sixteen, and they’re very pretty,” Leah quickly pointed out. “Twins are inclined to get into double trouble as part of their nature at that age. I certainly found mischief during my running-around years.”
Lenore sighed again. She wished Raymond were here to help her with this difficult discussion. “Sweetheart, I doubt you were ever out of your dat’s or my sight for more than an hour at a time. The pranks you used to pull at sale barns when you were helping Dat with the livestock were nothing compared to the way I’ve heard the Shetler twins run the roads with English boys in their cars.”
“I rode in a few cars—and pickups—you didn’t know about,” Leah shot back. “It’s not as though I spent my time hanging around with girls at the auction barns, you know.”
Squeezing Leah’s fingers so she’d focus on the matters at hand, Lenore held her daughter’s gaze in the dimness. “I probably should’ve insisted that you learn to cook and sew and keep house instead of tending the animals with your dat,” she said with a sigh. “But you were a tremendous help to him—and you were the only child God blessed us with. More than anything, I’ve wanted you to spend your life doing what makes you happy.”
“And I am happy, Mama!” Leah said blissfully. “I make a gut income selling my dressed chickens and ducks, my goat’s milk, and raising crossbred cows—the same way Dat did. If I hadn’t spent so much time in the sale barns around Jude, he would never have come to know me—or love me.”
Lenore paused, searching for another conversational path. She had no doubt that her daughter’s love for Jude was sincere, and that Jude loved Leah, too, but it took more than shared affection to make a marriage work and to keep a household running smoothly.
“And Mama, if your quilts don’t sell—or if you want to stop working so hard on them,” Leah said tenderly, “you know I’ll help you out with money so you can stay here at home. I know how much you and Dat have always loved this place.”
Tears sprang to Lenore’s eyes. Once again, her daughter spoke with utmost sincerity, unaware that Jude might have different ideas about Leah’s income—or that he might insist she give up raising and selling her chickens, ducks, and goats. He might also be reluctant for his wife to raise cattle, which required so much time and energy, even if he admired Leah’s way with those animals.
“Denki for thinking of me, dear, but we’re talking about you now,” Lenore insisted gently. “I’m concerned because Jude’s mamm, Margaret, also lives with Jude and the twins—not to mention Stevie, who seems rather immature for five. Margaret will have her way of doing things, because she took charge after Frieda died. And with Stevie still missing his mamm, you’ll have a lot of little-boy emotions to deal with as you prepare him to start school next year. Most new brides only have a husband to get used to until the babies start coming.”
“Jah, but with Margaret running the household and tending the three kids—especially Stevie—their routine can remain uninterrupted,” Leah pointed out. “That will give Jude and me time to adjust to being husband and wife, and it’ll mean that meals are put on the table and the laundry and cleaning will still get done. From what I know of Margaret, she’ll have instructed Alice and Adeline about doing their part in the process, too.”
From what I know of Margaret, Lenore thought sadly, she’ll be snipping at you every chance she gets, calling you a slacker—or worse—because you’re not assuming the traditional role of an Amish wife.
Lenore stared at the far wall, sensing whatever she said would go unheard. “Just be ready for your plans to be changed, Leah,” she warned gently. “Spending most of your time with Jude at auctions, or in the barnyard tending your animals, might not work out the way you’ve imagined. Margaret will be a woman with a plan, too, you know.”
Leah rested her head against the wooden headboard, closing her eyes. “I’ll cross that bridge when—or if—I get to it, Mama. Tomorrow’s my big day, and I know it’ll be just perfect because Jude’s sharing it with me. The light in his eyes when he looks at me is all I need to see to believe he’ll love me forever and ever.”
Lenore looked out the window at the half moon, which shone brilliantly in the night sky. Bless your heart, Leah, I wonder if you still believe the moon’s made of green cheese, as Dat and I teased you about when you were a child, she thought with a sinking heart. We probably should have done a lot of things differently as we were raising you . . . but it’s too late to change your way of looking at the world.
“I wish you all the best as you start your new life, Leah,” she said softly. With a final squeeze to her daughter’s hand, Lenore rose from the bed. “You’ll always be in my thoughts and prayers—and I’ll always love you. Gut night and sleep tight.”
“You can sleep for me, Mama. I’m too excited to close my eyes.”
Lenore paused in the doorway of the unlit room for a last glance at her giddy daughter. Bless her, Lord, and hold her in Your hand, she prayed. At this point, only You can keep Leah’s happiness from turning into a disaster.