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Tara seemed to change almost overnight, at least when she was speaking with Nedarya. When she addressed either Dusk or Lex, it was still the same rude, brash tone like it had always been, or slightly worse. But with the princess, she was all kindness, soft and gentle with her words and actions. Dusk would have almost called it chivalrous, but sometimes she was so saccharine that he wanted to be sick.
The next morning Tara was yelling at Dusk and Lex to get out of bed and get the horses hitched up so they could get on the road. Then in the next moment, she was gently rustling Nedarya awake, asking if she needed more time to sleep, if she was hungry, waiting on her hand and foot like a lap dog begging for treats. Dusk admired how kind she was to Nedarya, but he was already tired of her shift in demeanor towards him. They’d been traveling on the road for months together and although Tara wasn’t exactly the nicest person he’d ever met, she’d warmed up to him eventually. It almost seemed like Nedarya had melted away all that hard work with a single bat of her blonde lashes, turning Tara into a protective monster. It was so sudden that Dusk didn’t have time to wrap his head around it. Instead of trying to understand that something miraculous and strange had just happened to Tara, all he could do was be annoyed and downright angry with her at times.
After Dusk and Lex hitched the horses and got the cart ready for the road in absolute silence, Dusk turned back to Tara, expecting her to be ready. Instead he found her sitting on the ground behind Nedarya running a brush through her hair, delicately removing the twigs and leaves from the night before. Nedarya pulled a small ornate golden hand mirror from her bag and held it up to see Tara’s progress.
“Thank you, dearest,” she sighed in that soft melodic tone. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Dusk saw Tara smile in the mirror’s reflection before it melted away suddenly. “Why do you still have that ugly thing? Didn’t Jesper give that to you?”
“Well remembered,” Nedarya chuckled, holding a delicate hand over her mouth.
“Why keep it?” Tara stopped brushing, glaring at the mirror. Her voice was suddenly filled with accusation and worry. “You don’t want to go back to him do you?”
“Gods no!” Nedarya replied, turning her head to face Tara. She sat the mirror down on her satchel and turned to place a pale hand on Tara’s cheek that was still grimy and caked with blood. “I didn’t come back to this life to just be another princess to trade off for peace between families. This time I’m going to get what I want, I won’t squander my time with obedience.” She paused, staring deeply into Tara’s eyes. “And I want you by my side again.”
Tara reached up and squeezed her hand, leaning into her touch.
“But,” she continued. “It is a pretty trinket that I’ve grown rather attached to.” She looked down at her torn and ratty clothing, all stained with dirt and grass. “I’m afraid I’m not used to being... in this state. It’s nice to have a pretty thing to remind me where I came from. A girl doesn’t need fancy things to live, but there’s no harm in keeping one or two, right?”
“Anything for you my love,” Tara exhaled, completely enchanted by the petite woman in front of her.
“So we’re ready to go,” Lex piped up from behind Dusk with clear annoyance. “You wanted us to get ready to leave and we’re ready. So let’s go.”
“I’m so sorry!” Nedarya gasped, breaking the spell between her and Tara. “I didn’t realize I was holding everyone up! I’m ready!”
She gathered her things and tucked them back into her bag before hurrying over to the cart. Dusk helped her into the back as Tara pushed herself up from the dirt, brush still in hand. She strapped her greatsword to her back and made her way forward, but she stopped just in front of Lex, grabbing him roughly by the shirt collar.
“If you ever make her apologize again,” she hissed. “I will bury you.”
Lex pushed himself away from her, but puffed his chest out in return. “Don’t rush us to leave if you aren’t ready. We aren’t your or her servants. This isn’t Eblesal.” His eyes darted in Dusk’s direction for a split second. “We’re all equals here. Don’t you forget it.”
“You’ve got a lot of nerve for one so small,” Tara replied, stepping up so that she towered over him, poking him in the chest with the brush.
He didn’t back down, but glared at her instead.
Dusk was about to say something when Nedarya spoke. “Tara, that’s enough. He’s right.”
Dusk watched as Tara visibly deflated, taking a step back from Lex. There was a confused look on her face.
“I’m no longer a princess and you need to stop treating me like one.” She clasped her hands in front of her chest, looking at Lex. “I need to pull my weight like a normal person. I’ll do my best, although I can’t say I have much practice.”
“We’re more than willing to help,” Dusk cut in before Lex could respond. He looked ready to lash out and Dusk didn’t want a confrontation that early in the morning. “I’m still learning too, so we can figure it out together.”
“Thank you...” she paused for a moment. “My goodness I just realized I don’t know your name!”
“You’ve had all goddamn night and you didn’t even tell her who we were?!” Lex growled in Tara’s direction.
“My name is Dusk,” he said, ignoring them. “And that’s Lex.”
“Oh, I recognize Alexander,” she replied softly while the other two were arguing in the background.
Dusk was surprised she knew Lex’s proper name. “How do you know each other?”
“I met him once in court, very briefly. He was presented by his father.”
“Presented?”
“The two noble families presented their sons as possible suitors to the royal family. He was one of my options for a husband.”
Dusk stared at her open mouthed for a moment before snapping it shut.
“My father chose the other man, Jesper, from the Malkekna family.” She paused for a moment. “Alexander has always been obvious in his preferred tastes, much to the disappointment of his father. And my father was keen to have grandchildren, which is something we both knew Alexander wouldn’t be able to provide.”
“Oh,” Dusk replied simply.
“He was treated pretty poorly after he was passed over. He was only thirteen at the time I was betrothed to Jesper. His father wanted so badly to have closer ties with the royal family.”
“I didn’t know it worked like that.” He glanced back at Lex. “What a strange life you must have led.”
“Unfortunately when you’ve part of the nobility, your life isn’t really your own, so neither of us had much choice. You have everything you could ever want and servants to take care of everything.” She stared off into the distance, her eyes glazing over. “Life is a never ending series of parties and grand balls. They tell you what to wear, how to eat, how to speak, even who to marry. A child of the nobility is nothing more than a bargaining chip to gain power. And then, if you’re lucky, you end up with someone who doesn’t beat you every night.” She looked back to Dusk. “Sometimes I wonder if my father ever really loved me, or if he just saw me as a tool.”
Dusk stared back at her, his heart breaking from the sad and lonely look on her face. He’d never known things had been so bad. Sure Lex had mentioned that his life never really belonged to him, but after finding out who he was, Dusk had written off most of it as more lies. But hearing another person speak of their life in a similar way made him rethink his angst towards Lex. Maybe there was more to the story than he was allowing himself to see. His anger had gotten in the way, forcing Lex back. Suddenly he found himself feeling very guilty, ashamed of the way he’d acted.
“Are you alright?” Nedarya asked, breaking the long silence that had passed between them.
Dusk shook his head. “Yeah, sorry. Just got lost in thought for a moment.”
She nodded, gazing deep into his eyes. “You’ve been traveling with Tara for a while now, you must have heard the stories.”
“She told us a little bit, mostly just about the last trip you went on...”
Nedarya’s face darkened.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that.”
“No,” she replied, lifting a hand up to stop him. “It’s okay. It’s just strange to come to terms with your own death after you’ve been brought back to life. There’s no way to really describe how it feels.”
“I was dead for ten years while I was at the mines,” Dusk responded, nodding. “Not physically, but in every other capacity I was. It’s not the same, but I think I have a little bit of an idea what you mean. Being reborn is somehow scarier than life the first time around. You know what’s at stake.”
Nedarya nodded, her eyes cast on the ground.
Dusk could still hear the other two arguing in the background. “Will you two shut the fuck up?” he cried, turning his head back towards them. “It’s too early for your bullshit!”
Tara and Lex both stopped, their mouths still open. Lex dropped his gaze to the ground, his shoulders dropping. Tara, however, lifted the brush in her hand and looked as if she was about to start yelling at Dusk.
“Tara,” he commanded. “Get up in front and drive the horses. Lex, go get Maribel and let’s get out of here.” Dusk gestured over to the headless mound of flesh a few yards from their camp. “I don’t want to stay around this carcass anymore! It’s gonna draw attention. Let’s go!”
Tara glared for a moment before striding up to the cart and practically throwing herself in the driver’s seat. Nedarya chuckled lightly, smiling at Dusk, before crawling over the seat to sit by her side. She took the brush back and began to work more of the debris out of her hair. Lex was coming back with Maribel when Tara gave the reins a whip and the cart started forward. Dusk took the lead from Lex and tied it to the back of the cart as they walked. After it was secured he hopped up to sit on the back for a while.
“Why don’t you join me?” he said nonchalantly, not making eye contact with Lex.
“I... I can walk. It’s fine,” Lex replied, surprised Dusk was speaking to him.
“I would... like it if you joined me.”
Lex looked up, those blue eyes fixed on Dusk as if he’d just said something earth shattering. He’d forgotten how beautiful they were.
Without a word, Lex jogged up to the cart and pushed himself up, taking a seat next to Dusk. He was sure to sit as far to the opposite side as he could, leaning his arm on the wooden sideboard.
“Thank you,” he muttered, stealing a quick glance Dusk’s way.
“I’m still not happy with you,” Dusk said, keeping his tone even. “I need time. But I don’t hate you.”
Lex nodded, turning his head away to watch the landscape roll slowly by his side of the cart. It gave Dusk a moment to look him over, remembering how it felt to lay next to him, how his hands felt holding his own, the heat of his skin. He missed all of it desperately. After weeks of being downright mean to Lex, he knew neither of them could just suddenly go back to the way things were. But maybe, with a bit of time on their journey, they could find a way to work their way through the hurts of the past. Maybe Dusk could learn to let go of his own, like Juniper had told him to, and live in the moment. He’d come so far on his journey, but Lex’s secret had proven to him just how much hurt was still deeply seated inside him. It was going to take longer than he expected to work through ten years of slavery and torture.