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Great Farleigh Hall, Somerset, October 1832
The sound of carriage wheels on gravel had Hester’s heart leap into her throat. They were here! She looked out the salon window at the carriage driving up their autumn-clad driveway but was only able to make out that it was black. No coat of arms was visible.
A fast bracket of brown feathers briefly snagged her attention, but not even a kite could distract her from the mayhem she had agreed to let loose on her life. It was not going to work. This was not the done thing. Except she had tried what was and it had not worked either. For seven seasons!
“Who is it?” her mother asked behind her and the moment after a firm, calming hand was placed between Hester’s shoulder blades. Her mother was shorter than her but always managed to make her feel safe despite her size. Most of the color had disappeared from her hair and her shape had softened, but her ice-blue eyes were still sharp and attentive.
“I don’t know,” Hester answered, her heart in her throat.
Everyone would think her ridiculous and desperate after this. She had to succeed in marrying one of the three men arriving to court her, otherwise, she might as well not marry at all.
“No coat of arms is visible,” her mother muttered beside her, making the same observation as Hester.
Hester gulped with a dry sound. There was no reason to be nervous; either they liked her, or they did not. She was fairly certain that Percy Eavesgrave, Sophia’s brother, did like her, but more in the way one is taken with an injured bird, she had always gathered. Sophia insisted however that she should consider him, that he had been very interested in birds as a child and had depths that Hester had not seen yet. Hester supposed that she might be right. Besides she did not know who else would have filled the place.
It would have been pleasant if his brother was not attending as well though. Of all the people in her book about what she should have said, he took up the most space, despite their brief interactions. But he looked as if everything she said pained him or displeased him. She still remembered the pinched expression on his face when she had asked how his parents told him and his brother apart. Apparently, she was not supposed to have deduced on her own that they had worn bracelets. And when they had first been introduced, she had actually thought that he was quite handsome and hoped that he would like her.
He did not, however. More than once she had seen him turn his back to her if she entered a room. She had even caught him several times where he had simply walked past her, as if not seeing her, even though the polite response would be to greet her. Hester felt irrationally annoyed by it since she had herself hidden from Lord Lambourn at times to avoid having to see the frown of dislike on his face. But Lord Lambourn would be coming, and she would simply have to do her utmost to avoid him.
If she did not consider Percy Eavesgrave, that left only two real candidates: Algernon Gaywood and Francis Drummond. The latter was the son of a wealthy army captain. He, Francis Drummond that was, had just acquired a parrot, Sophia had told her, which did seem to bode well. Hester had always wanted a parrot herself; they were as intelligent as a small child, able to learn a range of commands and, of course, speak.
She did not know much about Algernon Gaywood. He was the grandchild of a baronet that had made a fortune through clever investments. They said that the family was as rich as Hester’s, despite their lower rank. Riches were not the important aspect here though. What was more important was that since Algernon was the oldest son of the oldest son of a baronet, he would one day himself become one. Which was not ideal. Hester knew that she could fill the role of a baronet’s wife but was not inclined to do so. It would take too much time away from her work; besides it would only draw more attention to her. Which she would rather avoid.
“We should go down there and greet them,” her mother stated beside her.
Hester stared at the carriage again; it was obscured from view by the building. If it had at any point been possible to see the coat of arms, it was not anymore.
Her heart hammered like the fast pulse of the quails she was breeding. Their tiny hearts would beat a tattoo against the frail skin on their chests as if they were trying to make their way out of it. Hester tried to dissuade her own heart from similar ideas by placing a hand on her chest as she followed her parents out of the room and down the stairs. It did help somewhat.
It will not work, her mind tried to convince her again.
She wondered whether any female birds never found a mate. Obviously, the male ducks outnumbered the females since they had a nasty habit of drowning the females while mating, but that hardly counted. As far as she knew, the female birds were always able to choose a mate. Even if the females were always the duller ones. Not for the first time, Hester wished that her life was as simple as that of a bird. Humans had created much too elaborate mating rituals for her taste.
She tried to steady her hands and discreetly dry them on her skirt as their butler, Curtis, opened the door. Hester took a deep breath of relief as Sophia, her husband, Lord Addinggrove, and their three-year-old son Arthur entered.
They greeted her parents formally before turning to Hester. Lord Addinggrove with his usual brooding, unreadable expression, and Sophia with a beaming smile.
“Oh, thank heavens that it’s you,” Hester whispered as she practically threw herself into Sophia’s arms, holding on tightly.
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“I should never have agreed to this. I have been begging Mother to call it off for a week.” Hester leaned back to be able to see her friend’s face.
Sophia gave her an encouraging smile and squeezed her arm reassuringly as she looked at Hester with her deep brown eyes that held a glimpse of mirth.
“I’m sure everything will be fine. This will be a much better way for you to meet someone than at a ball,” she murmured.
Hester nodded; she did agree in theory. She needed to act differently to achieve another result than she was currently. But it was much easier in theory, when the house party was months away, than having to live through the next two weeks of the gentlemen staying in her ancestral home.
“You must be eager to have young Arthur settled,” Hester’s mother interrupted her thoughts. “Why don’t you show Lady Addinggrove the nursery, Hester?”
Hester nodded, relieved by the opportunity to be alone with Sophia for a few moments. She was certain that her mother sensed so as well. Sophia reached out to take the sleepy three-year-old from her husband’s arms.
“Are you sure it’s wise that you carry him, Darling?” he asked in a low voice, probably only meant for the two, but since the hall was quiet, the sound carried.
“I’ll be fine,” Sophia muttered as she took Arthur into her arms. He had the same blonde hair and brown eyes as his mother, but his aristocratic nose, thin lips, and pronounced chin were decidedly his father’s. A very lucky mix of the two indeed, Hester thought. “As soon as you are more awake, you can walk the steps yourself, right, sweetie?” she asked the boy in her arms.
“I can carry him,” Hester volunteered.
Sophia smiled – thankfully Hester thought – and handed Arthur to her. Hester was glad that the boy simply cuddled up to her without protest. With numerous nieces and nephews, Hester was used to being around children and liked how they accepted her without question. Aunt Hester was the one who liked birds and that was fine.
She breathed in the sweet scent of Arthur’s hair, reminding herself that this was part of the reason she had agreed to the house party: She wanted a family of her own. At least one child. Perhaps even two.
“Thank you,” Sophia muttered as they reached the top of the stairs and turned the corner to the hallway. “It is hard for me to carry him, but I don't want Addinggrove to know. He will mollycoddle me all through the pregnancy if he does.”
She straightened her dress over her stomach. Having always been slim, almost waif-like, she couldn't hide her protruding stomach any longer. Although, she was at the stage where it was a bit difficult to determine whether she had simply gained weight on her lower stomach or was pregnant.
“There are several male birds that will stay with the female until the young are ready to leave the nest. I am certain that if Addinggrove was a bird, he would be one of those,” Hester told her.
Sophia sent her an amused smile but did not comment on her comparison of her husband to a bird. At that moment, Arthur wiggled to be let down and he and Hester ran ahead to the nursery with Sophia following at a more leisurely pace behind them.
“This is where I lived when I was a child,” Hester told Arthur as they entered the main room of the nursery. A large room that served as both sleeping quarters and play area when they had been young. The room was light and besides the walls being painted green instead of the dark brown that Hester had grown up with, and the carpet having been replaced, not much had changed.
“I used to sleep here.” She showed him the bed in the corner closest to the window that overlooked the garden. “In the morning there are a lot of birds in the tree over there.” She knelt on the bed looking out the window, and Arthur climbed up next to her. “Both blackbirds, sparrows, crows, finches and...”
“Mama, this is where I’m sleeping,” Arthur interrupted her in a happy voice as Sophia entered the nursery.
“That’s excellent, sweetheart,” Sophia panted a little as she sat down on the bed next to them, the one that had been Hester’s brother Gregory’s. Her brother Archie had slept in the opposite corner while the three oldest, Charlotte, Lucy, and Henry, had all moved out of the nursery before or shortly after Hester had been born.
Hester turned around to face her friend.
“Are you sure you’re fine?” she asked tentatively. She knew Sophia did not like anyone fussing over her. Despite Addinggrove’s brooding nature he cared deeply for his wife and tended to wait on her hand and foot.
Sophia smiled and rubbed her stomach again.
“I’m fine, it’s just... You know what they say: The second pregnancy is always more difficult than the first.”
“I did not. But that does not bode well if you want a large family, does it?”
Sophia grinned and moved to lie down on the bed, rubbing her belly again. Hester wondered whether it hurt but did not want to prod anymore. Sophia seemed unfazed by it at the moment, and she trusted her to speak up if anything was the matter.
“Why are you regretting the house party?” Sophia asked from the bed. Her eyes were closed now.
“It’s... I don’t know,” Hester mumbled as she settled on the floor with Arthur, helping him upend a box of wooden bricks that had been painted in different bright colors. Arthur was immediately caught by the idea when Hester started stacking them to make a tower. “It exhibits my inability to find a husband in the traditional way.”
She did not look up to see whether Sophia was watching her but focused on the tower she and Arthur were building.
“It does no such thing!” Sophia exclaimed, a fierceness to her voice that made Hester look at her. Her dark brown eyes were open now and looking at Hester in a way that made Hester shrink into herself a little. “Looking for love is brave. If anyone finds it wrong, it is only because they do not have the courage to do so themselves.”
She reached out her hand towards Hester, who rose and walked to the bed to take it.
“I’ll help you,” Sophia said and squeezed Hester’s hand in between both of hers, making it feel almost like an oath she was swearing. They only needed to spit or mix blood or some such disgusting display of bodily fluids that Gregory and Archie had been so fond of when they were younger.
“I appreciate that,” Hester told her and let go of her hand. “I still don’t know why you would think that I would fit with your brother though,” Hester stated as she joined Arthur on the floor again.
“There is more to Percy than you might expect. I think... he just needs to find a purpose in life – and settling down would certainly help him.”
Hester did not answer but thought to herself that it would take a very special woman to make Percy Eavesgrave settle down. He was known as a rake and a gambler. Much like her own brother Archie, who was currently roaming their estate on horseback after yet another row with their father. Seemingly about a scandal with an actress – although Hester was not supposed to know about it – and the fact that Archie showed no interest in the estate that their father had given him.
But Hester supposed that if anyone would know what there was to Percy Eavesgrave, it would have to be his sister. Hester certainly knew that there was more to Archie than met the eye, although she was not certain that it would take a woman to bring it out. Probably an extreme effort on Archie’s account.
“And he genuinely has an interest in birds?”
“He was very interested in birds of prey when we were children. And you said that it did not have to be someone who shared your passion as thoroughly as you, just someone who understood it. Anyway, Flint and I will make certain that he behaves and gives you an honest chance.”
“Will he not be too distracted with Miss Gaywood? Lord Lambourn?”
Despite knowing that Lord Lambourn did not like her, Hester felt that he could at least serve one purpose in participating in the house party: making it seem like an actual party and not a husband hunt since he was there with his betrothed. Or almost betrothed. The entire ton was waiting for an announcement at any moment.
“Not enough to not make certain that Percy behaves.” The words were uttered with a sisterly smugness that Hester recognized.
“I’ll give him a chance,” Hester conceded, even though she had thought the opposite less than an hour ago. Despite her dislike of Lord Lambourn, she could not imagine anything better than Sophia being her sister by marriage. She placed a brick as per Arthur’s instructions and completely lost herself in building a tower as high as possible with the young boy.
“Lady Hester,” a soft voice said behind her. Hester flinched as she turned around and saw Arthur’s nanny standing in the doorway. “Her Grace asked me to fetch you and Lady Addinggrove. The other guests are arriving.”
Hester followed the nanny’s gaze to Sophia on the bed. She had fallen asleep.
“We should probably let her rest,” Hester told the nanny as she rose to her feet. “Perhaps you can take Master Arthur outside.”
The nanny nodded and called quietly for Arthur to come. Hester took a cover from her former bed and placed it over Sophia; even though it was too short, it would at least keep her legs warm. As she headed downstairs, her heart started throbbing in her chest again.