After Freshman Year
One day at the start of summer break, Alex shows up at my house with Princess Peach.
My sister, Lila—who’s home on break before her senior year of college—answers the door. “Lu! Alex is here.”
I painted my toenails orange and don’t want to mess them up, so I hobble carefully to the foyer.
My sister raises her eyebrows at me and mouths, “Wow.”
“Hi,” I say to my new boyfriend, grinning so hard my face hurts.
He holds up his dog’s leash. “Want to come for a walk with us?”
“Come in while my nails finish drying?”
I want to put on a cuter outfit than my cutoffs and ratty T-shirt too.
Alex walks into the house. At the sight of Princess Peach, my cat, Winston, goes scampering up the stairs, probably to hide under a bed. The dog barks up the stairs in Winston’s direction. Alex tightens the leash and follows me into the kitchen, where my mother gives him a sweet tea while he waits for me to change clothes. The dog lies at his feet and stares up at him lovingly.
Lila follows me up the stairs to my room. As soon as the door is shut, she flops down on my bed and squeals like a middle schooler. “Lu, Alex is so cute.”
Her opinion means a lot. My sister is much prettier than me and was popular in high school. Not only was she in the show choir, she often played big roles in school musicals. Like me, she loves to dance.
My hands shake as I pick out a cute, little, red one-piece romper and start to change. “I worry he’s too hot for me.”
Lila glances up from her phone screen. “Why do you say that?”
“He’s gorgeous, and funny, and has so many friends.”
“And you’re friendly, pretty, and smart. He’s lucky to have you. Don’t ever act like you’re second-best around him, okay, Lu? Always remember that you deserve a great guy. And use condoms!”
“We’ve only been dating two weeks.”
“You should always be prepared. Besides, Grace texted me all about how you guys were going at it on the riverboat.” Lila returns to playing with her phone. “I’ll order a bunch for you and have them shipped to the house.”
I peek over her shoulder. She’s searching online for condoms.
“Oh, hell no!” I lunge for her phone but miss as she yanks it away. I face-plant onto the bed, and we dissolve into giggles.
I go back downstairs. When Alex lays eyes on my red romper, he swallows hard.
“You look beautiful, Lu,” he says.
Mom squeals like Lila, and pulls out her phone. “Let’s get a picture of you two for Grammy and Aunt Lilibeth and the ladies down at the office and the girls from church.” At the rate she’s going, the picture will be all over the world by lunchtime.
She poses us next to an arrangement of wildflowers erupting with color, like a box of crayons. “Now, Alex, put your arm around Lulu, and, Lulu, you put your hand on his chest.”
Lila dies laughing.
“Oh my God,” I mutter under my breath.
Mom ignores me and Lila. “Alex, stand a little straighter and lower your chin.”
“Mom, would you stop trying to stage us like a house?”
“This is my first picture of you with your first boyfriend. I need to document it. Now, Lu, you lift your right foot off the floor and lean into Alex.”
I lift my foot with a groan. “I think I’ll go die now.”
Alex raises a leg too, posing like me. Mom purses her lips at us, and we giggle together.
Lila beams, and before we leave, she gives Alex a hug. “Do you have any older brothers?”
Alex smiles. “Not that I know of.”
My house isn’t too far from the city park. After we escape Mom, we walk alongside the creek, where Alex throws a tennis ball out into the water and the dog splashes around.
We hold hands and often stop to kiss, but Princess Peach barks at me when I get too close to her human.
“Come on now, Peach,” Alex says to his dog. “You’re gonna be seeing a lot more of Lulu, so you best stop being jealous.”
The black-and-white dog whines like a little puppy and rolls around in the grass, then barks at me again.
“Let’s face it,” I say. “I’m a cat person, not a dog person.”
Out of the corner of his mouth, Alex says through his teeth, “Reach into my pocket and get a piece of”—he begins to spell—“H-O-T-D-O-G from the baggie and give it to her. You’ll be her favorite person ever.”
Even though I reeeeally don’t want to touch it, I do what he says, and suddenly the dog is all over me. I giggle as she licks my face and I pet her soft coat.
Alex’s phone beeps. He checks the screen. “Ryan wants me to drop by. He wants to play video games.”
“Okay,” I say, disappointed our afternoon is already over. “Walk me home first?”
“Why don’t you come to Ryan’s house with me?”
I hesitate. “It’s all right. We can hang out tomorrow if you want.”
Alex sadly sticks his hands in his pockets. “You don’t want to come?”
The last time I saw Ryan, he was teasing Alex for “sleeping with the enemy” in front of our whole class. But I’m not sleeping with Alex, and it’s not okay that Ryan made everyone think I am.
Grace grew up going to elementary and middle school with Ryan and Alex, and prior to freshman year, I frequently saw Ryan on Grace’s Insta and Snapchat. Before she had started dating that dickwad Ben, Grace spent a lot of time with Ryan and considered him one of her best guy friends.
“I don’t think Ryan likes me very much,” I say.
“Ryan likes everybody.”
“He’s so…rich.”
“Lulu Wells, aren’t you a snob,” Alex says with a laugh.
“Okay, okay, I’ll go. But in return, you have to take me to mini golf later.”
“Deal.”
Alex only lives about a mile from me, so we walk back to his place to drop off the dog and ask his older sister, Demi, for a ride to Ryan’s.
Ryan lives out by the country club, the area around the golf course that has gorgeous houses straight out of furniture catalogs. Mom loves selling houses out here.
I gape when we pull up to a huge mansion on a hill. I knew Ryan’s father was the district attorney, but Mom once told me the real money came from his mother, who had inherited earnings from an old automobile company that had been around a hundred years ago. Her family—the Thorntons—are like the kings and queens of Manchester. Her brother is the mayor of our town.
When we knock on the front door, Ryan’s mom answers. She’s wearing a pristine white blouse and colorful pink skirt. Her red hair looks styled for a fancy lunch in Nashville. She smiles at the sight of Alex. “C’mon in, y’all.”
I scan the foyer and formal living room. The space, filled with soft beiges, whites, and grays, is meticulously put together with not a speck of dust anywhere. Did I walk into a Pottery Barn catalog?
“Mrs. McDowell, this is my girlfriend, Lulu Wells.”
Ryan’s mother sticks out a hand. “Nice to meet you, Lulu. Are you related to Dr. Wells?”
“Yes, ma’am. He’s my dad.”
“Your parents always donate to my annual St. Jude’s fundraiser. They’re absolutely wonderful people.”
“Thanks,” I reply, wringing my fingers together. Are my sneakers tracking dirt on the pristine floor?
“Can I get y’all anything?” Mrs. McDowell asks.
“Do you have any more of those gingersnaps?” Alex says, and Ryan’s mom leads us into the biggest kitchen I’ve ever seen.
This house and Ryan’s mom remind me of a happily-ever-after.
Mrs. McDowell opens a tin container full of cookies and places some on a white plate for Alex, who says, “Ohmygoshthankyouma’am,” before diving in.
Ryan appears in the kitchen. He kisses his mother’s cheek, then turns to Alex. “Dude, what are you doing? I thought we were gonna play Fortnite.”
Alex can’t respond—he has a mouthful of cookies.
“I was just getting to know Lulu,” Mrs. McDowell says.
Ryan bites into a gingersnap. “She’s Grace Wells’s cousin.”
“Ohhh,” Mrs. McDowell replies. “I haven’t seen Grace in forever.”
“Not since she started dating that douchebag, Ben,” Ryan says.
“Ryan Anderson McDowell, don’t use language like that in my kitchen,” his mom says.
“Well it’s true,” slips out of my mouth.
Ryan’s eyes grow wide. “You don’t like him either, Lu?”
I don’t want to further badmouth my cousin’s bad taste in guys, so I just stand there gripping the back of a barstool.
Alex holds up his cookie and continues to chew. “I wish our desserts were this good at Niko’s, Mrs. McDowell.”
She beams at his compliment and holds out the cookie plate to me. “Have one, sweetie, before the boys eat them all.”
“Lulu’s vegan,” Alex explains.
“Oh! Why didn’t you say so?” She whips open her refrigerator to peer inside. “Let’s see…I can offer you…a carrot?”
Everybody laughs.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m good.”
“Gina!” a mean voice yells.
I nearly jump out of my skin. I wasn’t expecting that. Everything is so perfect here in Ryan’s perfect house.
Ryan glares down the hall. Mrs. McDowell closes the refrigerator. She pushes the hair back away from her face, takes a deep breath, and walks out without another word.
Ryan grabs the cookie plate. “Let’s go down to the rec room.” He stalks out of the kitchen.
We follow behind him.
“Why’s your dad home?” Alex mutters.
“He took the day off because the plumber’s here. We’re having some work done on one of our bathrooms.”
“Oh.” Alex drags a hand through his dark hair. “Is it okay if we’re here?”
Ryan shrugs, leading us downstairs to the fanciest basement I’ve ever seen. The McDowells have a gigantic couch that might as well be a king-size bed. Funny throw pillows are scattered across the couch, saying things like Normal is Boring and Netflix is My Girlfriend. A TV hangs on the wall and a fully stocked bar runs the length of the rear of the room. Through a door, I spot a gym with weights and a treadmill.
The three of us splay out on the couch with our feet up. I snuggle against Alex, resting my chin on his shoulder. He squeezes my knee. No matter where we are, we can’t seem to keep our hands to ourselves. Ryan glances at us.
Upstairs, I can hear his dad yelling again. “Where’s my shirt, Gina?”
“I don’t know,” Mrs. McDowell cries.
As Ryan slides down on the couch, his expression falls too.
Alex bites into his lower lip and focuses on starting up the game on the TV.
“I need my shirt,” Mr. McDowell yells. “You’d better find it right now, or I’ll miss my fucking tee time.”
“You have other shirts, Mark.”
“I want the green one.”
I give the ceiling a dirty look. My boyfriend isn’t making eye contact with anyone. Ryan looks broken.
The arguing continues on for another couple of minutes. Ryan’s family problems are none of my business, but I can’t believe Alex is acting like nothing is happening. I can’t take it anymore.
“It’s his shirt,” I say. “Shouldn’t he keep track of it himself?”
Alex sucks in a deep breath and gives me a piercing look.
“Yeah, he should,” Ryan says.
“Is it like this a lot?” I ask softly.
Ryan looks at me contemplatively for several seconds, then nods.
“That sucks,” I say.
“Yeah, it does…” He runs a hand through his red hair. “You sure you don’t want to try one of Mom’s cookies? They’re the best.”
Without giving it much thought, I reach over, pluck one off the plate and take a bite.