What were they thinking?
A new reality show is coming to streaming next year and is in fact in pre-production as we go to publication. Get ready for Mr. Cowboy, a dating show in which a small-town cattle rancher will pick his bride from among a gaggle of beautiful and young contestants. The only unique part of this particular show is that it will be held entirely in Stone Ridge, Texas, home of the cow. Yes, you read that right. Their claim to fame? Cows.
Word is the dates will all be held locally, the ladies housed in the newly remodeled home of local multi-millionaire and owner of the largest horse ranch in Texas: Mr. John J. Truehart.
So, no traveling to all four corners of the earth to swanky dinners wearing beautiful ball gowns. This little lady had better arrive wearing her spurs and chaps. In the span of a couple of weeks, the cowboy will date his heart out. Women will arrive from all over the United States to spar for the heart of this handsome and wealthy cattle rancher.
I’ve seen early photos of said bachelor and can report he’s not hurting in the tall, dark, and handsome category. Thirty-seven-year-old Sean Henderson has never been married and is reportedly ready, willing, and able to settle down. Suffice it to say if a wedding proposal doesn’t result at the conclusion of this show, we have little hope left for humanity.
Though there isn’t much ‘Hollywood’ from this sweet offering, we might possibly see some Nashville-style performances from the bachelor’s own sister-in-law, CMA award winning singer Winona James (now Mrs. Winona Henderson), and from Jackson Carver, a local rancher and musician who started his career in Stone Ridge.
~ The Hollywood Blogger
Sean Henderson tipped his hat and summoned all the genuine interest he could when he had a cow in labor and other matters on his mind.
“Hey, y’all, I’m ah…Mr. Cowboy. I’m thirty-seven and it’s time to settle down. I’m lookin’ for the right woman. She should…um, she…wait. Let’s…let’s start over.”
Elton, the head camera man, threw up his hands in disgust. “This is take ten in case anyone is paying attention. And next time, look into camera one.”
“Oh, shitfire. I thought you said camera three.”
“Okay, that’s exactly the kind of language we can’t have on the airwaves.”
The director and emcee approached, a young sprightly woman of about twelve. Okay, he was exaggerating. She had to be at least eighteen given what they’d told him about their union rules, but she sure didn’t look it.
“Cursing? Even on a streaming network?” He narrowed his eyes because he’d seen some rather questionable stuff on said networks and didn’t think a simple curse word would kill anyone. “Sorry, darlin’ but I’m a cowboy.”
Lori fanned herself. “Don’t try that aw shucks crap on me.”
Sean chuckled. He liked to have his fun with Lori, who reminded him of a Pitbull someone had slapped some lipstick on. Short, cute, and misleading sweet when she wanted to be, she’d fooled everyone. She’d rolled into Stone Ridge kicking ass and taking names. She complained daily about paying her dues by being stuck directing reality shows when everyone knew she was the next coming of Martin Scorcese.
“What are you doin’ now?” The feminine voice came from behind him in the faux studio set-up they had fashioned in the new barn. “Don’t you dare ruin this.”
He turned to see his second biggest pain in the ass, Winona, his older brother Riggs’ wife. She had her baby girl, Mary, in her arms which gave her an unfair edge. She knew how much Sean loved that little girl.
“Hey, sweet Mary,” he said, ignoring Winona. “Your Uncle Sean is over here tryin’ to find himself a wife, but these studio lights are too bleepin’ hot and I don’t know which camera to look into. Also, did I mention I got a cow in labor?”
“Riggs is takin’ care of all that and you blasted well know it.”
“That cow is one of my favorites. I’m worried,” he lied.
Winona bustled up to Elton. “Which one is camera one?”
He pointed and she went to stand behind it, holding Mary. “Look over here, Uncle Sean.”
Little Mary, barely three months old, kicked her chubby legs and squealed in delight.
“Finally, some help,” Elton said.
“Here we go again,” said Sean.
“Just be yourself and you’ll be fine.” Lori rolled her hand in a circular motion. “Keep the camera rolling. We’ll get this reel down if it kills me.”
“What are you looking for in a future wife?” Winona prompted.
“Well, someone nice. Sweet.” He tugged at the tie they’d made him wear around the collar of a shirt he’d wear again the day they put him a coffin.
“Sweet?” Lori barked. “Define sweet. We need a little more depth. Go deep, cowboy. What makes a woman sweet in your opinion?”
“Um…well, I take that back. Not sweet.”
Lori threw her hands up. “Why me, God?”
“Would it kill you to make somethin’ up?” Winona said. “How about a script?”
“Sure, yeah. Whatever.”
Sean wanted children, which meant he should have a wife because being a traditional man, he didn’t put the cart before the horse. Even if he’d put the cart before the horse plenty of times so to speak. Yes, sir. But no babies had come out of all that putting the cart before the horse repeatedly and with much gusto. Unlike Riggs, who’d knocked Winona up, Nashville royalty, and then got her to marry him and stay in Stone Ridge.
Keeping a woman here was a challenge in a place less a town than a huge man cave.
“It’s not that complicated,” Lori said, her nose flaring. “And a script is the very antithesis of what we’re doing here. What part of reality do you not understand?”
“Reality.” Winona snorted. “Yeah, right.”
“Fine, fine. I know what you want.” Sean cleared his throat and looked into the right camera this time. “I’ve got this. Look, I’m thirty-seven years old and I’ve waited a long time for the right woman. The perfect woman, for me, won’t be afraid to get a little dirty. But by dirty, of course, I’m not talkin’ about sex.”
“Cut!”
“Oh, shit.”
Winona covered her mouth with one hand and burst into laughter.
“That does it!” Sean pulled his tie off and next off came the ridiculous shirt. “Here we go. See, I don’t wear shi-stuff like this. Where’s my dagum flannel?”
Elton threw him the shirt he’d worn when he got up this morning.
Sean shrugged it on and began buttoning. Maybe now he could actually be himself.
“I’m not showy. I don’t wear ties, but I’ll wear one on my wedding day if my wife insists. And the next time I wear one will be when they lay me down in my coffin, six feet under. If a woman can handle that, plus living on a cattle ranch in the middle of nowhere, super. I’m your man.”
“I hope you were rolling,” Lori said to Elton. “We can use the footage of his abs if nothing else.”
“He still hasn’t said what he’s lookin’ for in a woman,” Winona protested.
“Right,” Sean said. “How about y’all tell me about some of these women, and I’ll reverse engineer this whole thing?”
“You mean tell you what kind of women we have, and you can make those your requirements?” Lori asked.
“That’s utterly ridiculous,” Winona said.
“Now, now. Let’s not be hasty,” Lori said, looking through several print-outs. “We have been here a while. Okay, there’s a teacher.”
“Great. I want someone educated, and good with children.”
“Bingo!” Lori said. “Why didn’t I think of this. We have a neonatal nurse who put herself through school by stripping.”
Sean smiled, remembering why he signed up for this deal. He would be dating. A lot. And hot damn it had been a while since he spent quality time with a beautiful woman. It didn’t seem fair that he’d be saddled with about ten of them at once. All vying for his attention and affection in this contest which he couldn’t possibly lose.
But hey, he was taking one for the team. Heh. Heh.
“I want a compassionate woman, well versed in First Aid.”
“Last month, Sean nearly put a nail through his finger,” Winona explained. “Mendin’ fences.”
“True story. Doesn’t usually happen but I was in a hurry.”
“Next, we have a financial planner from New York City.”
Sean considered this. “I’d like a wife with money?”
“Try again.” Lori tapped her foot. “Goes right back to education.”
“Yes, my wife should be intelligent and able to do accounting.”
“Too specific,” Winona said. “Eliminates many of the women if you’re looking for an accountant.”
“Okay, let’s take a break,” Lori said. “They don’t call me Ms. Scorcese for nothing. I’ll just bet I can splice something together here and create our first commercial reel.”
“That’s what I like to hear, Marti, Jr.,” Sean said. “I’ll be in the pens if anyone needs me.”
Lori wrinkled her nose. “The pens? Where’s that again?”
“Where the cows give birth.” Winona made a face.
Winona wasn’t exactly rancher’s wife material, either, but she’d acclimated, giving Sean a smidge of hope for the woman from New York City. He wanted to be fair and give every woman he met a chance. They were coming from all over the country. He’d seen photos and boy howdy, he was going to have a great time. Of course, there were a few conditions to this contest. He’d read over them carefully when he’d agreed to this deal and signed the contract.
No kissing any of the women until the final ceremony.
Definitely no sex.
No playing favorites too early on. Give every woman a chance.
Agree to allow the producers to choose one woman who, in their opinion, would be the best match.
Propose with a ring offered by one of the top jewelers in Dallas.
Yes, propose, even if he had no intention of following through with a wedding.
The last rule was a tough one, because Sean never did anything half-assessed. When he proposed, he’d wanted it to be the real thing. He hoped he could connect with the woman they chose, even if he believed that the odds of falling for someone in a couple of weeks were long.
Still, when Winona and Beulah Hayes had approached him for the seventh time, he’d had a rough and tumble kind of day. The kind which made him wonder what he was doing with his life. When they laid him down six feet under, who would care other than Riggs and Colton? How had he made a difference anyone would remember when he was long gone?
And that’s when he’d asked: what’s in this for me?
Beulah, as usual, feigned a stroke when asked why anyone would want more than love out of this deal. Forever love. Companionship. The right woman. Yeah, been there done that, and Beulah knew better than most. Sean wanted a dagum guarantee that even if he didn’t find a lifelong partner, quite likely in his opinion, he’d get something out of this.
Sean wasn’t interested in a public life and being in front of the camera felt like an invasion of privacy. But he had his pet causes, like the plight of wild horses of the southwest. With Riggs help, they’d written in that the producers would issue a large donation check to the foundation Sean wanted to start here in Stone Ridge.
The Mr. Cowboy contest was the brainchild of Beulah Hayes, founding member of the ladies of SORROW, and Winona, who still had contacts in the entertainment industry. The reason for the contest? For a town well known for having far more men than women, this seemed like a good opportunity to bring more women in for all their single bachelors.
Beulah hoped at least some of the women would stick around and check out all the other cowboys. In fact, said cowboys were already paying careful attention and would be watching a dating show for possibly the first time in their lives. They loved the idea they would be the first to know of his fiancée, way before the show actually aired.
Sean did not like the idea of “selecting” a woman and having to eliminate anyone. He figured these women would become his friends even if he didn’t feel a “love” connection. Unrequited love was no picnic and he’d certainly been on the other end of that situation.
More so than most, he understood the pain of being left behind and hated to inflict that on anyone.
Quite frankly, while it might be childish, he hoped a certain woman would be watching the show when it aired in a few months.
Hopefully she’d regret the choice she made years ago when she left town and broke his foolish heart.