Then
A year after Bonnie graduated from high school, she was spotted by a modeling agency scout at a rodeo in San Antonio. She’d been Miss Rodeo Queen again, second year running, grateful for the extra cash that helped after Daddy’s death. To be honest, she didn’t mind the attention, even if Sean wasn’t crazy about it.
Bonnie was in love, deeply in love, and no manner of attention from any man would ever take her away from Sean Henderson. Every boy in Stone Ridge had chased her and she wanted no one but him. Loved no one but him. But she wanted to provide for her mother, who’d downsized from their large property to a cottage by Lupine Lake. Sadie Carter’s father owned the land and rented the cabin to them at a discount.
Her daddy hadn’t died doing what he loved, but in the least remarkable way for a six-time rodeo champ: a car accident on the way to the US finals in Colorado. There was some insurance money, and savings, but not enough to keep up with the ranch more than a year without him. The upkeep on a property their size would have them in the hole within a year without her father’s continued earnings.
In typical fashion, everyone in Stone Ridge helped. The men took on the physical chores her father would normally. The dairy farmer provided milk and eggs free of charge. The ladies of SORROW provided meals and organized fundraisers. They paid for Bonnie’s entry fees in the rodeo queen contests. Mama got a job as a housekeeper and cook for a local family. Bonnie worked at the General Store part-time and waitressed at the Shady Grind. There was certainly no extra money for acting lessons given by some of the great teachers she’d read about. Still, she socked away money and saved, worried she’d never get a chance to leave Stone Ridge and give her Mama the life she’d had before Daddy died.
But that particular muggy day in San Antonio at the rodeo, Bonnie saw a way out of her mother’s drudgery, and her own.
“They said they would pay for the photos, Mama,” Bonnie explained later the same day. “All we have to do is get ourselves to New York City.”
“Oh, is that all?” Mama went hands on hips. “Might as well be the moon. We can’t afford it.”
But Aunt Beulah heard and thrilled at the prospect her niece might someday be a “celebrity,” she organized yet another fundraiser. Both she and Mama accompanied Bonnie to New York City where they were surprised to be staying in a high-rise hotel right in the middle of Times Square. The agency took photos of Bonnie and in them she got to act for the first time in something other than her high school theater productions. When told to “look sexy” she thought of Sean. When she had to give them “a faraway melancholy look” it was far too easy to think of her daddy. And on it went. According to the agency, Bonnie had the “it” factor and they offered her a contract with a major brand.
Mama didn’t know what to do, but Beulah read the contract (all of the pages, word for word) and told Bonnie she should go ahead and sign it.
She would have done it anyway. Bonnie was hooked on the glamor of the city and thrilled these people saw her as beautiful and special. She’d been afraid she might not have what it took to be a model or an actress.
The contract was an underwear model for which she was paid more money than she made in a year at the General Store. She thought the photos were in good taste, too, even if awkward to pose for. She’d never stood in her underwear in front of anyone but Sean. These were classy photos and part of the brand’s lingerie campaign for women. They were using Bonnie, only nineteen, to sell bras to women her mother’s age.
She’d been home a week after New York, hanging out with Sean, telling him all about the city, when he picked up a photo on her nightstand.
“Give me that,” Bonnie tried to snatch it from him, but he held it just out of reach.
“Wait a second.” He studied it for a second. “This is what you’ve been doin’ for the modeling agency?”
“Not anymore.”
“You’re practically naked, Bonnie!” His voice contained not a small amount of outrage.
“But I’m not. I think they’re tastefully done.”
He lowered the photo enough that she ripped it away from him.
“Who took the photos?”
She rolled her eyes. “A photographer. He’s a professional.”
“A professional creep? It pisses me off that man saw you almost naked.”
“We were in a studio.” Poor, straight-as-an-arrow Sean. “There were people everywhere.”
Too late she realized this was even worse.
He scowled and narrowed his eyes. “How many people?”
“Not many. People for lighting, that kind of thing. Even a woman or two for make-up and hair.”
“Jesus!”
She had read somewhere that boyfriends had a difficult time with these kinds of situations, and Sean the cowboy wasn’t exactly the picture of modern sophistication.
“You’re the only one that sees me naked, baby.” On her tiptoes, she reached for his face, framing it between her hands.
“Don’t try to distract me.”
She did anyway, kissing him the way he liked, long and deep, grinding against him.
“You’re the only one who ever has.”
“Let’s keep it that way.” Reaching for her wrist, he tossed her on the bed and joined her.
But if Bonnie thought she had a great future with the New York modeling agency, she turned out to be wrong. The following year they went with a brunette, a seventeen-year-old model discovered in the U.K. The photos Bonnie saw online were raunchy and it was a good thing she hadn’t been approached.
But it would have been nice to be asked.
It was the first time she realized no matter how pretty others thought you were, someone prettier could always be found.
All along she’d wanted to act, not model, and the modeling had simply been a gateway into that world. Because Bonnie had a secret from everyone who loved her: more like her father than her mother, she liked the pageantry of the rodeo, the showmanship more than the actual skill of the event. Bonnie was different.
All of the other girls from Stone Ridge in her high school graduating class were already married. Charlotte Johansen even had a baby on the way. Bonnie loved Sean with all her heart, but she didn’t just want to be a rancher’s wife. At least once a week Sean talked about where they would live once they got married. In his spare time, he and Colton were staking land for each of their cabins. Riggs was off at university, and eventually they weren’t all going to live together. They’d start their own families but stay right on Henderson land because why go anywhere else?
Sean didn’t care there was a whole world to be experienced, not to mention forty-nine other states. Once in a while, she got to Colorado or Northern California on a cattle auction with Sean and his father. That was about as much as she’d seen of the USA until New York.
On Aunt Beulah’s advice, Bonnie saved all the money she’d earned for the modeling job. And one afternoon about a year after the job in New York City, she and Sean rode their horses out for a picnic. She spread out the blanket, laid down the peach pie she’d baked, potato salad, and the deep-fried chicken Sean loved.
Sean had finished discussing his latest cattle run when she found the words to say what she’d wanted to for years.
“I want to go to Los Angeles and try to be an actor. I’ve got enough money saved to rent a small place for a few months until I find a job.” They words came out in a rush and Sean’s eyes widened.
When he immediately opened his mouth to protest, she stuck a chicken leg in his mouth, and kept talking about her plan.
He finished chewing, eyes narrowed. “How long will you be gone?”
She swallowed. “That’s the thing. I don’t know how long. As long as it takes to see if I can do this.”
“You already know you can do it.”
“I need to find out whether I can get parts in actual movies or TV shows. There’s a lot of money in this business, Sean.”
“Why do you need money?”
“Mama needs money. I want her to retire. She can’t keep working as a housekeeper forever.”
“She can come live with us when we get married.”
“No! You’re just not hearing me. I don’t want her to live with us. She needs her own house. Do you think my daddy would be happy to know where we’re livin’ now, with her workin’ so hard? You know he’d hate it. Well, it’s my job to earn enough money to take care of her.”
She’d decided to make it all about the money, taking care of her mother, so at least she’d sound noble. But the little secret no one knew was Bonnie wanted to get out of this small town. She had ambitions no one else seemed to have.
She wanted glamour, night life, and excitement. Bonnie was her father’s daughter. He’d craved the spotlight and so did she if in a different kind of way.
“You can come with me,” she said tentatively.
“To live in Hollywood?”
“Probably somewhere outside of Burbank.”
“I can’t go with you, baby. My parents need me. My father needs me. Riggs is going to law school, and he won’t be able to come home for another few years.”
“Well, that’s not your problem is it?” She hated the words the moment she’d said them.
“Yes, it is my problem. And my responsibility. You know I don’t take it lightly.”
“I know, and that’s one of the reasons I love you.” She took his hand, threaded her fingers through his. “But I need you, too.”
“What am I going to do in the city, anyway? I’m a cowboy.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to think about supporting me for a change and not what you’re going to be doing all day.”
Yes, she realized it sounded ridiculous, but she was desperate.
He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll get bored.”
“I’ll keep you entertained.”
“Not when you’ll be going on auditions and working as a waitress.”
“Only at first, until everything falls into place.”
“That could be years.”
“It won’t be. I promise.”
“Then, how long?”
They’d circled back to the original question.
But how long did a person chase after a dream? Was there some kind of expiration date?
Bonnie wasn’t naïve. If she wanted a career in the industry, she’d have to start young. And if she got some traction, she could have a longer career as a character actor. People like Nicole Kidman and others started in their teens. Bonnie’s timeline was evaporating. At twenty, by modeling standards, she was practically middle age.
Sean waited for her answer. He was right. She owed him at least a ballpark figure of a timeline. They wanted to get married…someday. He wanted this far sooner than she did, but either way, she’d marry Sean Henderson. There was no one else in the world for her, nor ever would be.
“How about if I try for a year or two and if things don’t work out, I’ll come home?”
“Two years?”
“I’ll come visit, of course!”
Sean didn’t like the idea and over the next month he did everything he could to change Bonnie’s mind. No begging and no pleading from her cowboy, just examples of all she’d miss.
Fresh flowers every day from his mother’s own garden.
Making love under the stars.
Slow dancing after dark in the field the way they’d done for years, the headlights of Sean’s truck lighting their way, the speaker booming from inside.
It hadn’t changed her mind but made leaving home even harder. Bonnie cried all the way to the airport where she clung Sean until the last minute. If he’d hoped she’d change her mind, he didn’t say so.
“Do not find anyone else while I’m gone because you’re mine. I claimed you a long time ago. Tell the women to find another man.”
Sean kissed her temple and held her tight. “Alright, baby. Alright.”
But one year later, everything would change.