“My nose! Did he break my nose? I’ll sue!” Eric sat on the couch and covered his jaw with the ice pack Tabitha had given him. “This is my face. I work with my face! My livelihood!”
“I barely touched you,” Sean said, sounding deceptively calm.
This was not quite true. Bonnie saw the whole mess coming and she’d tried to warn Eric. Sean had a mercurial temperament, and he did not back down from any conflict. She almost felt sorry for Eric, because though he’d come here to get some screen time but had no idea he’d be dealing with anyone like Sean. He was accustomed to men who used stand-ins for their fist fights, wore Spanx to award ceremonies, waxed, and enjoyed dual mani-pedi days with their girlfriends.
“I’ll take the fist fight out of the final cut.” Lori crossed her arms and sent Sean a censuring look. “This is a family show.”
Sean snorted. “Right.”
“You should take the whole thing out,” Angela said. “I’m sorry to say I think this was all a little exploitative of the show.”
“Oh, you think?” Lori smirked.
“Really? You’re going to cut my scene?” Eric lowered the ice pack.
“You poor thing,” Tabitha said to Eric, rubbing his arm and repositioning the ice pack. “But I thought it was kind of sexy.”
“Yeah?” Eric sat up straighter.
“I was talking about Sean.”
“It wasn’t sexy!” Sean stood. “I lost my damn temper. I’m really sorry, Elvin. But you should apologize to Bonnie. Then we’ll call it a day.”
“Sean—” Bonnie warned. “It’s okay.”
Had it hurt? Said by anyone other than Eric, maybe. But she considered the source. He was a struggling, often unemployed, actor trying to muscle his way into a tough business. Trying to find his place by taking every opportunity offered to him. Most of the time, she sympathized.
“No, it’s not okay,” Sean said.
“Well, of course, I’m sorry, Bonnie. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Plus, you’re awfully nice, much nicer than anyone else in Hollywood. And I blew it.” Eric almost sounded sincere as he bent his head and shook it.
“I accept your apology.”
“Great, now we can all be friends again,” Lori said.
“Except I still need to talk to Bonnie alone,” Sean said, turning to Lori. “Without cameras.”
The way he said it left no doubt there would be no wiggle room. With that he took Bonnie’s elbow, and guided her outside. They walked past the patio and toward the expansive grounds of the mansion. Sean walked them past the pool and chaise lounges. Past the line of Sycamore trees near the edge of the property. He finally let go of her and walked a few paces ahead, lowering his head, and taking in a deep breath.
“Let me explain,” Bonnie said, feeling a sense of desperation rising in her.
He shook his head. “What am I doing? Why can’t I just let you go?”
“Please, listen to me. I didn’t come here to make Eric jealous. I didn’t come here to revive my career. I came here for you.”
“I’m supposed to believe that?”
“Have you ever known me to lie to you?”
“You think he just came here to get some screen time?”
“I have no doubt. This is another acting opportunity for him. Eric doesn’t care about me.”
“What about you? Do you care about him?”
“Only as a friend. If you really want to hear the sad state of my love life after you, I’ll tell you. I was lonely when you gave up on us. You were the one who got engaged, not me. I was devastated, Sean. Devastated.”
“Yet you seem fine.”
“I recovered but I’m not fine. Every day I’m afraid I’m going to lose you all over again. You certainly have plenty of choices. And I know I’m probably not the best one.”
He turned, his eyes dark and flashing heat. “Why do you keep saying I gave up? You’re the one that chose between me and your career.”
“But I didn’t want to choose! You forced me to choose.”
“We’re going in circles again.” He ran a hand through his hair and groaned.
“I know. We do that.”
“Aw, damn.” He held his hand out to her and when she took it, he drew her into his arms. “I’m still trying to find a way to keep you here. I don’t know if you realize this, but I agreed to let the producers choose the finalist. They’ll listen to my input but in the end, it’s their decision. So, whether you stay or go, it may not even be my choice.”
A chill went down her spine. “Why would you agree to that?”
“I obviously don’t have to get married to whoever they choose. But I have to propose. They agreed to make a donation to the wild horse foundation I’m trying to start. A big one. Riggs worked it into the contract.”
“Oh.” The realization hit her with the force of a punch.
“I’m not going to stay with anyone I don’t love. This is a show. Not my reality.”
“I’ve acted in dozens of productions over the years. I honestly didn’t know reality TV would be quite like this. It’s not at all reality, is it?”
“It might sound strange, but I didn’t care. Winona talked me into this. I was all about having fun, a good time, and if I wound up finding a wife, great. Until you showed up and changed everything.”
“Angela was right. They’ve exploited both of us. And I don’t know if I can stand by and watch you propose to someone else, real or fake. I already had to hear about Robyn, which nearly killed me.”
With the explosive knowledge now between them, Bonnie knew it was time for her own revelation.
“Listen, I n-need to tell you something.”
Just do it, Bonnie. Tell him. He’ll forgive you. This is Sean.
“I was hired to come here. The producers are paying me.”
His fists clenched and unclenched, his jaw rigid. “What did you just say?”
“Let me explain. At first, I turned it down. I assumed you’d get rid of me the first night.”
“I should have known.” He turned on her, eyes flashing heat and anger. “You came here to hurt me, isn’t that right? That’s all I am to you. Another acting opportunity.”
“No, look at me. I didn’t know they were choosing for you, and I thought I didn’t stand a chance with you.”
“So, you thought you’d go for door number two, the money? A job?”
“No, I came here to get away from Hollywood!”
“Good, and I’m back to being your consolation prize again.” He turned his back to her.
She pulled on him, trying to get him to face her. “I’m giving the money back. I don’t want it. And I’ll leave here tomorrow if you ask me to. Screw what the producers want. Sean, you didn’t deserve this. But I care about you. I would never hurt you intentionally.”
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to believe that.”
With those sharp and cutting words, Sean turned and stalked back to the mansion alone.
A sense of complete loss gripped her all over again. She’d ruined this, too, because her dreams were forever in conflict with each other. For one brief second, she’d allowed herself to believe she could have a second chance with her first love. But that would never be true, would it, because she’d waited too long. She hadn’t the courage to face him again until now. Too late.
And even though a film crew was waiting, Bonnie stood alone and watched the sun set over the hill in shades of red, blue and gold.