Brendon
I stared down at my paperwork, wondering if the stack, as well as the files on my computer, had multiplied in the time it took me to blink. I really did love my job, but sometimes it took a little bit too much out of me.
We were having issues on the account that we were trying to get, but I knew we’d figure it out. We usually did. It was just annoying because I had to rely on others to get things done. But that’s why I was the boss, I should be used to it by now. Just because I’d rather micro-manage didn’t mean I would actually do it. At least not anymore.
I sipped my coffee, wincing at the temperature. I either needed to get a fresh cup or go back to drinking my water because I knew having too much caffeine in my system would just make me grumpier. And I was already a little grumpy.
I didn’t know why, things were all right, other than this particular account taking too long. But then again, when things went okay, that usually meant they were about to go to hell soon.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to focus on what was in front of me rather than anything else. I chugged back the rest of the cold coffee and then got up to get myself some water. I might as well be good and not just live on caffeine.
I only had a couple of hours left, and most of my staff was already gone for the day since it was a long weekend, and I had given them time. Of course, I really hadn’t taken much for myself, but I would be going home a little early since I wanted to stop by the bar and make sure that everything was okay there.
Not that they actually needed me there these days—only for the paperwork.
I wasn’t the best bartender, something that my brothers and Beckham tended to tell me often, much to their amusement. But I enjoyed at least trying. I liked being near my family, something we hadn’t done for too long. We still had our issues, but we were getting better. At least, I hoped so.
So I wanted to go down there, lend a hand, or maybe just sit and have a beer and hang out with my family. At that thought, I smiled and then looked down at my paperwork, knowing I just needed to work a little bit more and then I could relax. At least as much as I could when I was at work.
The fact that I kept telling myself that while at a job I used to love told me that maybe I was either working too hard or I had other things going on that were stressing me out. I just didn’t know what they were. But I knew at least subconsciously that they would come out of the woodwork soon, and I would have to deal.
By the time I packed up and made it to the bar, it was just before dinnertime, and the slow trickle of the late-afternoon lunch and early dinner crowds were coming in. That made me smile. Because just a few months ago, there hadn’t been a trickle at all. There’d been maybe one or two people at this point in the day. But now, the tables were filling up, and I knew we’d have a wait later tonight. Not too bad for a place that we were all afraid would close down.
I’d been so worried that we were going to lose Jack’s legacy—our father’s legacy.
I didn’t know why all of us called them Jack and Rose. If I really thought about it, it was probably because their names were fun to us and it tied in with the bar. There was that sign above the bathroom that would remain no matter what happened to the place. It said I’ll never let you go…unless you need to.
That just made me smile because Jack and Rose were indeed a happily married couple, and they had been married long before Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio became the pinnacle Jack and Rose on the big screen.
At least the pinnacle for everyone else. Our Jack and Rose had taken in three foster kids from the street and loved them and made them their own. They would always be the best of the best to us.
So, yes, we did call them Jack and Rose, and sometimes Mom and Dad. It was never a slight to call them by their first names, mostly because that’s what they had wanted at first, and then it just stuck. They were Mom and Dad at important times. They had been Mom and Dad when we lost them.
But they were Jack and Rose when we talked about the bar. And that made me feel like maybe we were doing something right. Because the bar was about the two people who had taken us in but took care of what they loved outside of that, as well. At home, they were different. They weren’t bar owners. They were parents. And the fact that I talked about them as who they were when I talked about the place that used to be theirs? I knew that was right.
“Hey, you’re here,” Cameron said from behind the bar as he pulled two drafts. He slid them down the bar top to the two people waiting and then went to enter the order into the computer.
I shrugged off my coat and slid it onto the hook behind the bar before going to the sink and washing my hands.
“Anything I can help with?” I asked, rolling up my sleeves.
“We’re not that busy yet, and you know you’re better at waiting tables than being behind this bar.”
“He’s not wrong,” Beckham said as he came into the bar area, his arms laden with two racks of glasses.
“I’m not that bad of a bartender. I don’t know why you think that.”
“It’s probably a thing because you get ruffled up like a little peacock,” Cameron said, grinning before starting on another draft for another customer.
“I am not a peacock. Why is that the animal you chose? Really? A ruffled-up peacock is the best you can do?”
“I wouldn’t start on him,” Aiden said as he came into the bar area and picked up a glass so he could get a soda. “I mean, give Cameron and Beckham enough time, and they’ll come up with something that pisses you off. You really don’t want that. But, don’t come back into the kitchen either. You upset the chef, too. Maybe you can take Dillon’s job busing and waiting tables. I’ll take the kid back and show him the ropes, and you can do what you’re good at.” Aiden winked, took a sip of his soda, and then went back towards the kitchen. Since his back was to me, he didn’t see me flip him off, but everyone else did and laughed.
“Very professional, brother,” Cameron said, winking. “Do you do that to all of us when our backs are turned?”
“Just as much as you flip me off. It’s sort of a family thing.”
“I just love seeing you guys together,” Ed said from his spot at the bar after he’d sipped his beer. Ed was a long-time customer who hadn’t left when Jack died. He had known Jack and Rose before all of us were even part of the family. And he’d stayed, while others had left.
And that meant that he got free wings every once in a while. But I didn’t think that was why Ed kept coming. He came because he liked routine, and he enjoyed the bar. And, hopefully, he liked us.
“Some days are harder than others,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m going to the back to look over the books, but if you need me, I’ll come and wait tables.” I drawled out the last bit, and Cameron and Beckham just laughed. Well, Cameron laughed. Beckham just smiled before going back to his work. The man was always quiet, and I had no idea what really went on beneath that beard of his. So, because nobody wanted me behind the bar—something that I had known would happen as soon as I walked in—I went back to the office and looked over the books.
We had an accountant, but I was the one who got everything ready for them. I probably could have done the accounting on my own, but I’d rather have an actual professional who knew what they were doing for tax purposes.
However, somebody needed to keep up with the daily things and make sure we were on the right track. There were other plans in the works to help the bar stay in the black and increase our revenue—things like specials, ads, and branding.
We had another pool tournament coming up, although us Connollys weren’t really joining in. I had a feeling that Aiden and Sienna might want to play because they had been disqualified the first time and wanted to reclaim at least a bit of the dignity they thought they’d lost.
But I didn’t think the rest of us were really in the mood to do it. It didn’t matter though, because the other bar owners would be joining in again, as would some of the patrons who wanted to show off their skills. That was fine with me since there was a fee to enter, and that meant more beer flowing and food being served every night. The food part was always a little tricky because people wanted bar food, but sometimes they wanted something that wasn’t just onion rings or nachos or wings.
That’s where Aiden stepped up to the plate. Since we’d been back in Denver, or at least at this place, Aiden had added more things to the menu, constantly changing up some of the appetizers for specials. I knew that had pissed off some of the staff, but in reality, it really wasn’t that different every day, and Aiden plainly wrote it out for them. And if my waitresses and waiters couldn’t figure out one new menu item each night, then maybe they shouldn’t work here.
Dillon had figured it out just fine and was doing great, even though I knew his hours would be changing completely soon because he would be in school. Dillon was going to the University of Colorado at Denver, the same place Cameron’s girlfriend, Violet worked. Although, they likely wouldn’t ever see each other since Violet worked in the science building, and Dillon would be working on his gen-ed classes.
Maybe even some business classes, though I wasn’t exactly sure what he would be taking yet. That reminded me that we needed to figure out his class schedule in the next week or so, so I jotted everything down.
Dillon probably already had it all done on his own, the kid was whip-smart. Sometimes, it was hard for me to remember that even though he had just come into my life and technically wasn’t related to me like he was to Cameron and Aiden, the kid was family, and I couldn’t actually control him like I wanted to.
Control wasn’t the best word for that. No, I just wanted to make sure he had every opportunity available to him. He hadn’t had a lot of those growing up, not until Cameron came into his life.
I winced as I unlocked my jaw, unaware that I was so tense. I hated that we’d missed out on so much of Dillon’s life due to our lack of communication and our petty disagreements.
It was my fault, just like it was Aiden’s and Cameron’s, that we’d split up and stopped talking to each other. Things were better now, fucking amazing even, but we still had to work on not being idiots.
I knew we would be better at that, though. Because we had made that mistake once, and we weren’t going to do it again. We were different people now. Stronger. And I refused to lose out on time with my brothers and this new friendship we had with the others. I refused.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. I just needed to be okay and live in the moment. I was about twenty minutes into my work when the door opened, and Dillon popped his head in.
“You decent in there?” the kid asked, and I rolled my eyes just like he often did. Apparently, Dillon was rubbing off on all of us.
The fact that he was eighteen and we still called him kid just reminded me that I was getting older. It didn’t matter that I was only almost thirty, I was still the oldest of the bunch of us.
And I felt it in my bones. Well, not really, but I knew that day would come. Apparently, almost reaching thirty was the pinnacle where you realized that maybe you were just a little old.
“Decent? I guess so.”
Dillon grinned and walked in, a beer in one hand and a swagger to his step.
My brows rose. “Drinking a little early, aren’t you? If an undercover cop comes in here and sees you with that beer in your hand outside of the restaurant area, we’re shut down.”
“That’s not true. Plus, my lips have gone nowhere near this. I’m not going to ruin Jack and Rose’s place just because it’d be good. Not that I’ve ever actually had a beer, I’ve been sweet. Innocent. A saint.”
I snorted and then took the beer from him. “Sure. You keep telling yourself that. Because you know what? Cameron, Aiden, and I were perfectly sweet and innocent, as well.”
This time, it was Dillon who rolled his eyes. “Cameron’s told me some stuff, so I’m going to go with not so innocent.”
I set down the beer and shook my head. “No, we were really good. Well, once we moved under Jack and Rose’s roof, we were. I mean, we could have been better, but we weren’t bad.”
“Ah, that middle of the road. But I swear, I haven’t had a sip of that beer. I’m not going to screw things up. I promise.”
I leaned back in my chair, nodding. “I believe you. I know that things were a little iffy at first with how you were going to work things out here, but you’re doing well. I promise.”
“Yeah, good enough to realize that starting school in the spring is kind of stupid, don’t you think?”
I frowned and then looked up at him. “What do you mean? You don’t want to go to school anymore?”
Dillon stuffed his hands into his jeans’ pockets and shrugged. “No, I want to go. I should have gone in the first place. It’s more about the whole out-of-state tuition thing. Cameron and I still have a year left to live here. Because even though he’s not technically my dad, he was my guardian for long enough that they’re taking his California residence into consideration. And we haven’t lived here for a full year yet. That means we have a semester of out-of-state tuition before we can apply for in-state. And that’s not cheap.”
I sighed, closing my eyes. “It’s not. It’s a little ridiculous. But the states want their students to go and stay in school in their own states. Therefore, they give them incentives. I know it’s ridiculous, but you’re not going to the main campus, just UCD. Not that there’s anything just about it. The school’s amazing. Violet wouldn’t be working there if it didn’t have a great program.”
“I’m not exactly in her program,” Dillon countered.
“No, you’re not going into science, but you are taking gen-ed classes. And we can look into you going to one of the community colleges instead. There’s still time.”
Dillon shrugged. “Maybe that would have been smart. But I kind of wanted to get into a university because I screwed up so badly in the first place. You know?”
I understood. I got up from behind the desk and moved forward to put my hand on the kid’s shoulder. He didn’t flinch, didn’t back away. I took that as a good sign. Because even at Dillon’s age, any of the three of us would have flinched. We had been through shit, and Dillon had a little bit as well, but Cameron had shielded him from the worst of it. And for that, I would be forever grateful to my brother.
“You screwed up, but you’re fixing it. If you want to go to the University of Colorado at Denver, then we’ll pay for it. You don’t need to worry about that. You had good grades and are currently showing a fantastic work ethic. You do need to worry about keeping your job and keeping up your grades, though. Because if you fail, then you’re fucked. Because we’re not going to bail you out. So, you need to work your ass off. If you do, you’ll be fine. Yeah, a semester of out-of-state tuition won’t be the nicest thing in the world, but I’ve got money, and so does Cameron. And I bet Aiden does too, though he hoards it all like a little dragon.”
“I thought you were the dragon that hoards things?” Dillon said, grinning.
“That may be true. Connolly dragons, I kind of like the sound of that, it has a nice ring to it.”
“Maybe we can get like a little mascot or something for the bar.”
I snorted. “You know, that doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea. Okay, why don’t I take this beer that you just painstakingly brought to me, and we can go down to the bar so I can help out? I probably shouldn’t be drinking on the job anyway.”
“Cameron’s the one who sent it up. Said that you’re supposed to take the day off because you already worked a full shift at your other job.”
I sighed and took a sip, holding in a moan at the taste. It was one of Cameron’s new brews, and I was in love. “Maybe taking a day off would be fine.”
“And a single beer isn’t going to screw you up in case we get busy.”
“Speaking of busy, you’d better get back down there before Cameron or Aiden finds a reason to start yelling.”
“It would be Aiden that would yell first. Right?”
I sighed. “Yep. He’s the one with the temper, even though most people think it’s Cameron.”
“It’s the twin thing, isn’t it?”
I nodded and then followed Dillon back into the bar area. Aiden and Cameron were twins, though they had spent some of their youth split apart in different foster homes. And though I was the oldest brother, I was the one not related by blood to any of them. But we were all brothers. No matter what.
I set my beer back on the work table in the corner, one that we only filled with customers when the place was packed. I looked out at everyone milling around and figured we might reach capacity tonight. I smiled. It sounded like a good plan to me.
I let the stress of both jobs leave my mind, then the sadness that had been filling me regarding my friend who was no longer here, and the woman whom he’d left behind, as well. I didn’t think about Moyer that often, but now that I really thought about it, I was doing it more often of late. I just wanted to relax and not think about anything.
“Hey, Brendon,” Beckham called out. “There’s someone here looking for you.”
I sat up a little straighter, thinking for a moment that it might be Harmony. I didn’t know why that was the first thought that came to mind, but it would have been nice to see her. Although I didn’t know if she was coming in tonight at all. I missed her, and it had only been a day since I’d seen her. That probably meant I needed to put some distance between us, but I wasn’t always a smart man.
I moved up to the front of the bar, looking around for Harmony and then freezing when I saw exactly who was at the other end of the bar.
“What are you doing here?” I said the words, my voice wooden, emotionless.
Because I knew who it was. I just hadn’t seen him in years.
Hadn’t even known if he was still alive. But do they tell you when your estranged dad dies? Do they tell you any of that?
Do they somehow find your adult children after you die even if you were a lowlife piece of shit?
I didn’t think they did. But then again, I didn’t really trust the system anymore. I hadn’t when I was younger, forced to do things I’d rather not talk or even think about. The system had failed me more times than I could count, and the only time they’d ever done anything good for me was when they brought me to Jack and Rose.
Now I looked at the man who had sold me for drugs and wondered what the fuck was wrong with my life that this could happen.
I’d known I was too happy.
I had known that things were going okay, and I was smiling more than I had been before. I knew the nightmares were there, but I hadn’t picked up my go-bag in a long time. Of course, things were going too well.
And, of course, things were here to fuck it all up.
“I just want to talk, son.”
I held up my hand, rage filling me even through the void of coldness. “Don’t call me that. I’m not your son.”
“Okay.” Sam nodded quickly. His eyes darted around, and I knew others were watching, even though I wasn’t raising my voice. I was trying not to make a scene, but it wasn’t easy when this asshole was in front of me.
“You need to go.” I forced out the words, trying not to scream.
I was aware that Cameron, Aiden, Beckham, and even Dillon were around, watching, waiting. And I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Didn’t want to do anything.
So, I took a right, went to get my jacket from behind the bar, and left without another word.
Sam wasn’t supposed to be there. But if he was, I couldn’t be, not under the same roof.
It was either leave or try to rip out the man’s heart. And I wasn’t even sure he had one.
Bile filled my throat, and I was aware that Cameron was running after me, shouting my name.
But I didn’t care. I just needed to go home, needed to get away from it all. I needed to take a shower. Do something. As long as I was clean, everything would be fine. He wouldn’t touch me again.
That man was from my past. It was all in my past.
And I wasn’t going to let it touch my present.
I wasn’t going to let it touch me.
Not anymore.