23
Stone sank into a chair. “Bill, how the hell am I supposed to get a woman to sign a prenup she has already declined to sign?”
Eggers leaned across his desk and handed Stone a two-page document. “Read it. I wrote it myself.”
Stone scanned the agreement. “She gets an allowance of half a million dollars a year, adjusted annually for inflation, and if she leaves him, she gets a million dollars for every year they’ve been married, calculated to the nearest month?”
“Not bad, huh?”
“Not bad, if she’s considering it as employment. Not good, if we’re talking about Harlan Deal’s very large fortune.”
“Stone,” Eggers said, “a good prenup should accomplish two things: one, insure the financial welfare of the wife in the event that the husband changes his mind about how beautiful and sexy she is, and two, prevent an avaricious woman from looting the husband’s fortune when she decides she can be just as rich divorced as married. I think this document satisfies both those requirements.”
“Well, this certainly accomplishes the second, but there’s nothing in here about housing after a divorce. She’s not going to be able to buy a nice apartment in New York—I’m assuming we’re talking New York—on a stipend of a million a year.”
“Good point. I think I can get Harlan to kick in, say, two million for an apartment.”
“Make it three million; you can’t get much for two these days.”
“All right.”
“Does the lady have any children?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“Is she young enough to get pregnant, assuming Harlan is fertile enough to get her that way? If we don’t make provision for possible children, and she has some, it will never stand up in court.”
Eggers stared at him, annoyed. “Okay, what do you suggest?”
“If she has his kids, five million for an apartment, half a million a year per kid in child support, a twenty-million-dollar trust fund per kid and the same as a bequest in an irrevocable codicil to his will.”
“That’s upping the ante quite a lot,” Eggers said, frowning.
“It’s a small fraction of what he’d pay without the prenup. Anyway, he can always get a vasectomy and cut his costs.”
“You’re sounding a lot like the lady’s lawyer.”
“Believe me, she’s going to get one before she signs this thing, so we’d better anticipate.”
“All right, I’ll talk to Harlan. Anything else, before I call him?”
“She’s almost certain to want other things; we have to consider them, if he wants to marry the lady.”
Eggers looked at his watch and picked up the phone.
“Has he had time to get back to his office?” Stone asked.
“His office is two floors up,” Eggers replied, dialing a number. “Harlan? Bill Eggers. Stone and I have talked this over, and he has made some very important suggestions to be included in the prenup, ones that might make her more amenable and, at the same time, make you look more generous.” Eggers went through the list, then listened. “Harlan, a twenty-million dollar bequest to each kid isn’t all that much, and since you’ll be dead, you won’t miss it. And you can always get a vasectomy.” Eggers listened some more. “All right, but remember, she’s bound to talk to her own attorney about this; in fact, we want her to do that, because we may have to make this agreement stand up in court. There may be other things she wants, so let’s make our objective to just keep her reasonable and, of course, happy. After all, you’ll have to live with the lady.”
Stone spoke up. “Tell him, if she signs it, to send her two dozen roses and a bigger ring.”
Eggers ignored him. “We’ll get back to you, Harlan. Give us a few days.” Eggers hung up. “I’ll tell him that later. Now you’d better get going.”
“Do I get to know who the lady is?” Stone asked.
“Oh, yeah. Her name is Carla.”
“Come on, Bill, what’s her last name?”
“She doesn’t use one, and Harlan doesn’t know it.”
“Wait a minute, there’s a woman who plays piano and sings at Bemelmens Bar in the Carlyle Hotel.”
“That’s the one. She lives in a suite in the hotel.”
“I’ve heard her a couple of times; she’s very good.”
“Well, it’s nice that you’re a fan; it will give you two something to talk about.”
“All right,” Stone said, getting to his feet, “I’ll give it a shot.”
Eggers rose with him and walked him to the door. “You’d damn well better give this a lot more than a shot, Stone. Harlan Deal spends one hell of a lot of money with this firm, and losing him would impact us in all sorts of ways, including having to trim our expenses, like what we spend on of-counsel attorneys.”
“I get the picture, Bill. No threats, please.”
“Oh, that wasn’t a threat, Stone; that was just a clear picture of what the landscape around here would look like if we should lose Harlan Deal’s account. These offices would look like a nuclear test site.”
“I get it, I get it,” Stone said. He didn’t let the doorknob hit him in the ass on the way out.