First things first—define the parameters of the contest. The two options are: 1) Single combat with the winner of one match being the victor, or 2) A best of three, with the winner of two out of the three matches being the victor. Best of seven matches, while heard of occurring from time to time, are considered tedious and preferably avoided.
With thumbs held perfectly erect, the two principals will face one another and with either the right or left hand’s fingertips (hand choice is the right of the challenged combatant) clasp the other’s hand. The grip is to be tight but not pain inducing. Using fingernails to dig at or wound the opponents hand is strictly forbidden and instant disqualification.
Both combatants now in their positions, it is up to the challenger to begin the contest. With a series of four thumb bows, each made simultaneously by the contestants. The cadence of the four bows is to follow the ritual invocation proclaimed by the challenger, which reads:
“One, two, three four.
I declare thumb war.”
Upon the final utterance the combat is begun.
Neither contestant is allowed to move their arms or utilize any bodily strength other than what is to be found in their thumb. Any overt movements of the legs, arms or torso that result in a pin instantly disqualifies the pin and both contestants must start over.
The match will continue as long as necessary. Thumb War is a contest without use for watch or clock.
Victory is defined by one combatant pinning the thumb of the other combatant to the top of their hand.
There may be argument about the moment of victory, so it is best to have at least one second, preferably familiar with both combatants, who can then represent both parties. In this case the second will make rulings on any claims of a pin. Without a second, both contestants must agree upon the pin.
As Thumb War is a physical contest of strength and endurance, the victor is typically quite apparent.
Upon winning the match or series, the victorious thumb wrestler declares their victory with another invocation, which reads:
“One, two, three, four
I won Thumb War.”
—From the mind of the Illuminations series editor, who would like to provide readers with a less lethal alternative contest to settle any modern day “Points of Honour’.