Chapter Six

Jen groaned and threw an arm across her face.

“Can you turn down the sun, please?”

Kate sniffed and slammed a drawer shut. “I have no sympathy for you, you daft thing.”

Jen rolled over on Kate’s bed and opened one eye, squinting against the glare bouncing off the dressing table mirror. Her unsympathetic sister shook out a T-shirt, then refolded it carefully and slipped it onto a pile that grew higher than the open suitcase boundaries.

“How much clothing do you need?” Jen groused.

“Oh, stop complaining. You’re not the one leaving today, so don’t get your knickers in a twist.” Kate laughed.

“I still can’t believe you’re packing today—the day you’re flying out. That’s so not like you, Kate. Usually, you’re packed a month in advance.”

“You try organizing a wedding, doing a hand over at work, plus dealing with your new husband and sister doing their utmost to—behind my back, mind you—keep you off your feet.”

Jen opened one eye. “You knew about that?”

“Who wouldn’t?” She grinned and packed a few more neatly stacked items beside the already full case. “You two skulking around, making secret phone calls and leaving urgent messages to come home for no reason. You’d both make terrible spies. Sweet, though,” Kate said. She grabbed her purse and double checked passports, tickets, and travel documents. With an air of distraction, she dumped the purse beside the case and looked around the room. Tapping her lips, she muttered to herself. “What else have I forgotten?”

“Geez, whatever you have forgotten, you can pick up in New Zealand. They have stores there, you know. It’s not like here where if you ain’t got it, you ain’t got it.” Jen griped and then frowned. “Sorry, sorry. I’ve got a killer of a headache. It’s making me a grouchy girl this morning,” she apologized.

“Why did you drink so much, anyway?” Kate paused to stare at her, eyebrows raised.

“Felix.”

“Felix drove you to drink two whole bottles of wine?” Kate snorted with derision. “Didn’t see him pouring your glasses. Actually, I didn’t see him dancing on Peter’s bar top, either. Not like some people.” She suddenly froze, a frown creasing her forehead. “Hey, I didn’t see him at all after the bouquet throwing.”

Jen groaned. Dancing on the bar? Past the first bottle, she didn’t remember much at all. It just disappeared into a haze of an alcohol-fueled black void. Felix leaving early? The reason for that was painfully and horribly clear.

She decided to ignore that part for now as another thought occurred to her. “How did I get home? Don’t tell me I drove.”

“Nope, Bryce did that. I followed and picked him up after we both poured you into bed.”

“Thank him for me.” Jen groaned.

“You do it—you need to apologize, too.”

Jen opened both eyes and settled them on her sister, who eased down onto the bed beside her. “Oh, no. What did I do?”

“Threw up all over him.”

“Charming.”

“No. Charming was burping in his face afterward.” Kate said. She turned to face Jen and then lay down beside her with a sigh. Lying side-by-side on the bed, Jen frowned into her sister’s concerned face.

“I’m really sorry, Kate. I was pretty much a mess last night. I hope I didn’t ruin your night.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t. You’re a happy drunk…messy but happy. Though, Jen…you never drink that much.” She reached across and pushed a curl out of Jen’s face. “What happened?”

“I kissed Felix.”

Kate’s eyes opened wide, and she jerked up to rest on her elbow. “But that’s good news!” She fell back down on the bed and grinned happily. “I’m so pleased…” Suddenly, her expression changed from happiness to confusion. “…but why the plunge into a deep glass of alcohol?”

“He told me he loved me.”

Kate clutched her hands to her chest, a swooning smile on her face. “And…?”

Jen cringed at the look of bliss on her sister’s face. “And? Then, I told him to back off…” She quickly put up a hand as her sister’s face fell. “Just wait before you say anything, because it gets worse. I told him about Tyler.”

“Oh, Jen.” Kate sighed. She struggled up to a sitting position and slid off the bed. “Why? Has something happened between you and Tyler? Has he made a move on you?”

Jen shook her head and moaned as the motion made her head throb alarmingly. “No and no. Felix asked the same thing…but there could be. Oh, hell! There may be nothing at all. We’ve just flirted is all.”

“You’ll be the death of me, Jen.” Kate moved around the clothes in the suitcase, frustration clear in the way her hands jerkily placed and then replaced the items needlessly. “Tyler isn’t a toy you can play with either, for heaven’s sake…and in the office?” She shook her head. “So not a good move.”

“I haven’t done anything, Kate.”

“You don’t have to. You’re a disaster waiting to happen. If you date Tyler, and it goes pear-shaped, it won’t make for a good working situation. Plus, there’s Felix. Don’t muck that man around, Jen. Honestly…” She swore with frustration and stuck her hands on her hips.

Jen raised an eyebrow. Her sister swore rarely and looked this annoyed even less often. It made her feel even guiltier than she already did.

“That’s the last thing I wanted, Kate. Tyler is…” How to explain her attraction to him? He was new and exciting? He was gorgeous? Every explanation sounded just as selfish and self-centered, and she cringed at her own avarice. Then, there was Felix—a friend for so long, and now…now, what was he?

“Tyler is…”

“What, Jen? A nice guy? I know that. For the short time I’ve spent with him, he seems lovely, but you don’t know him at all. You know Felix.”

Jen closed her eyes against Kate’s logic. She was absolutely right. She knew Felix inside and out. That he fell asleep watching the news after a long day at work, that he loved old movies. She giggled at the fact that a world famous chef’s secret food weakness was his love for plain old marmite spread on hot, buttered toast. He was gorgeous, hard-working, intelligent, funny, and generous….and his kiss could make her toes curl.

She grimaced at her sister, pleading with her eyes for her to understand. “When he kissed me, Kate? That kiss? It meant something to me.” Jen gritted her teeth as tears began to tickle behind her eyelids. Just remembering the tender touch of his lips on hers, his hand at her waist, made her heart beat faster.

“I’ve never felt that way before with anybody,” she whispered.

Kate blew out a long breath, hissing it between clenched teeth. “Then, why? Why ruin it? You don’t even know Tyler. You’ve spent a year of your life with Felix. You know what kind of man he is. You and he were like this!” She held up two fingers entwined together and then tossed her hands in the air. “He’s a nice guy, Jen.”

“I know.” She stared imploringly at her sister. “What do I do?”

Kate closed the lid of the suitcase and sat down heavily on the side of the bed. “Figure out where your head is at.” She turned to stare hard at Jen. “Don’t play with his feelings, Jen. You either want this, or you don’t. Make a decision one way or the other, and don’t toy with him while you do it.”

“That’s the problem, Sis. How do I know?” She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “All my past relationships were so…messy.”

Kate snorted with laughter. “Tell me about it.” She poked Jen in the leg with a finger. “Remember Alan?”

Jen grinned and rolled onto her side, heaving herself up onto her elbow. “Oh, God. He was gorgeous, wasn’t he?”

Kate nodded. “And dumb as a rock. Wasn’t he the one who locked himself in your bathroom at that party you threw and couldn’t get out?”

Exploding into helpless laughter, Jen sat up on the bed and crossed her legs. “Yeah, and he was too embarrassed to yell for help. So, it was a couple of hours before I missed him, and by that time, he was trying to escape out that itsy bitsy window.” Jen used her fingers to demonstrate the size.

They both held their bellies tight as their laughter grew louder. Finally, Jen’s giggles slowed, and she sighed, still grinning. “It took forever for the fire brigade to get him out.”

Kate shook her head as they burst into another fit of giggles. “I don’t know how you manage to find them, really. There was Craig who managed to back into our mailbox every time he came to our place to pick you up for a date, and he swore black and blue that Dad moved it on purpose. Neil used so much hair gel, he should have taken stock in the company—”

“Ooh!” Jen interrupted. “He used to get mad when I’d try to touch his head, too. I once hid his gel, and he almost cried.”

Kate pointed a finger, eyes wide. “Chris—oh God, Chris. Remember him? Wasn’t he the one who was in a rock band?”

“No, that was Brad. He wasn’t that bad, if you didn’t count the ego.”

Kate looked at her askance. “That was some big ego. I remember the angst you went through every time he had a gig and didn’t get home until the next morning—smelling of perfume and sex, mind you. That, and the fact that you kept forgiving him. Drove me nuts.”

Agreeing with a grimace, Jen sniffed and quickly got off the subject of that terrible memory. “Chris wasn’t bad.” She stifled a laugh as Kate’s eyebrows shot into her hairline.

“No, now I remember it. He was nice. He lasted all of five minutes, though. I’m sure the reason why he was kicked to the curb so fast was because he was so normal. You needed drama, and boy, you got it.” She started ticking off on her fingers. “There was that Goth guy who had a drug habit that he couldn’t kick, the drinker, the compulsive liar, the womanizer, the fool, the groomer…and Chris, the good guy who didn’t have a chance.” Kate waggled a finger at her. “You’re a fixer! You have to find that little thing to keep things exciting. What are you scared of, Jen?” she asked, eyes serious, finger still in mid air.

Jen pushed down the desire to grab Kate’s finger and twist it. With a twinge of annoyance, she slid to the side of the bed and dangled her legs off the side. “This isn’t funny any more, Kate.” She slid off the bed and crossed the room to lean on the dresser. Peering in to the mirror, and grimacing at the dark shadows under her eyes, she looked at her sister in the reflection and then turned to face her, crossing her arms in annoyance.

“You’ve had your own disastrous men coming in and out of your life.”

“I’m not saying I haven’t.” She peered up at Jen, hazel eyes soft with concern. “I’m just saying that you’re a big, soft-hearted goon when it comes to men. You want to fix all their problems and hope that they turn into the perfect guy.”

She shrugged and moved across the bedroom to her en suite, leaving Jen to steam. I didn’t do that…did I? Chris was sweet and a responsible guy. I picked him, too, she reasoned. Her conscience added its own two cents. The only one of a few disasters—and how long did Mister Boring last? With an internal grimace, Jen flipped through the memories of her bad choices in men, and with a sigh, she pushed them away. She had to admit, there were a lot of bad, romantic periods in her history. Maybe, the problem is me. The thought shook her to the core.

Then, why rush into another disaster? she thought peevishly.

After a few seconds of rattling around, Kate returned with two waterproof toiletry bags and slipped them into the suitcase. In tight-lipped silence, Jen watched her sister tuck the final bits and pieces away and then zip the case firmly closed. Kate turned to her and wiped a hand across her brow.

“Done.” She sat on the bed with a sigh and rubbed her belly. She looked up at Jen, eyes suddenly moist, and Jen’s heart melted.

“Just think. In three or so more months, I’m going to be a mum.” Kate’s voice shook with emotion.

All Jen’s annoyance disappeared in a puff of smoke, and she sank down to kneel at her sister’s feet. “And here I am, on your last day on Pitcairn, worrying you with my trifling problems.” She reached out and rubbed her sister’s belly, her chest tightening. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother, Kate,” she whispered. “Both you and Bryce are going to be great parents.”

Kate smiled and bent uncomfortably to hug her sister. “Thanks, Sis,” she said, her face buried in Jen’s curls. “You’ll be fine as well. Just follow your heart. That’s all you have to do.”

* * * *

The house was dark and quiet as Jen let herself in. Her heart already sat like lead in her chest after saying good-bye to Bryce and Kate at the airport, and coming home to an obviously empty house made it sink further. Even knowing that her sister would return in less than six months, the parting had been bittersweet.

Kate had still been calling back last minute instructions for the hotel and reminding her to water the plants in the house, as she’d been pulled with good-natured frustration through the departure gates by Bryce. Jen watched through the lounge windows, standing and gazing into the skies until long after the plane disappeared into the dusky heavens above.

“Hey, Jen. We ell, soon be closing ha doors and shutting down for the night. Yorley planning on sleepin’ here?” a familiar voice said with a soft smile that Jen could sense without even looking.

Tina, the airport’s sole aircraft engineer on the island had come to stand quietly beside her. Finally, after passing Jen a tissue, she’d given her a one-armed hug.

“Es all right, Jen. Yous sullen gwen be home soon,” she said.

Jen sniffed, wiping tears that had gone cold on her cheeks. “Thanks, Tina.” She gave a sudden snort of laughter. “I’m slowly learning Pitcairn—but sullen? That’s how I feel right now, right?”

“A smile, that’s better,” Tina said. “No, sullen means people. Your people.”

Jen sighed and collapsed into one of the uncomfortable airport waiting room chairs. “It’s hard. Kate and I have worked in opposite corners of the world for years, and we’ve always been pretty tight. This year, on Pitcairn, we’ve gotten real close—even the yeti-man and I…I feel like he could be my brother. I’m going to miss them.”

Tina sat down next to her. “Yeah, Pitcairn does that to you. Even with the new influx of people the hotel has brought in to work and live, it’s a small place. Community is everything, and family is even more important.”

Jen cringed a little. Tina had suffered her own misfortunes lately. The news around town was that she’d caught her pilot boyfriend Blane with Dana. The rumor mill at the hotel was going wild with that news. It didn’t help that Tina caught Dana and Blane in the act—Dana exiting Blane’s room half-dressed when Tina turned up to surprise him. The fact that Kate, in her pregnant state, and Bryce had to step in between a very angry Blane and Tina was a sore point. She stifled the thought. That was not Tina’s fault. It had everything to do with Blane.

Avoid that hot button subject, Jen told herself.

“How’s your Dad doing? I’ve heard he’s not been well,” she asked instead.

“He’s okay. Well…as good as he can be. He has Mum fluttering around him all the time, and she’s driving him half crazy, but I think he privately loves the fuss.”

Jen looked up as the automatic doors opposite of them swooshed open. “Oh, it’s Connor. What does he want?”

“I don’t know,” Tina said, her voice tight with an emotion Jen couldn’t catch. She stared at the woman sitting beside her. Five minutes ago, she was warm, friendly, and consoling. Now, she just seemed frozen—a prickly air of dread surrounded her.

Connor nodded at Jen. “Bryce and Kate get away all right?”

“Yeah.”

Connor barely seemed to hear Jen’s answer, instead eyes fixed intently on Tina. “We’ve bin working on ha generator engine, but ha wiring seems to be the problem. Got us pretty confused. You got five minutes to come see, Tina?”

Tina nodded. “Give me a minute to close up.”

With a small nod of acknowledgment, Connor twisted on his heel and stalked out. Jen watched the man leave, and then raised an eyebrow at Tina.

“What the hell? Is he mad at you or something?”

Tina was slumped back in the chair, her hand in her hair. “Yes. No.” Tina sighed and shook her head. “You heard about Blane?”

Uh oh. Not good territory. “Yeah. Not good.”

“Not good is right. Connor tried to warn me about him, and at the time, I basically told him to drop dead. I feel like an idiot—one because I ignored someone who was only trying to help, and two because I didn’t see it myself.”

“So, apologize to him,” Jen said. “You didn’t know, and it sounds like Blane is one smooth operator. Complete dickhead as far as I’m concerned. Connor seems like a pretty good guy to me. He’ll understand.”

“I think I hurt him pretty bad.” She turned agony-filled eyes on Jen. “He still has feelings for me, and I’m so confused about how I feel about him. We were childhood sweethearts once, but he hurt me pretty bad once before, and I don’t want to risk it, again.”

“An apology for messing up won’t jeopardize anything but removal of ill feelings. As for how you feel about him—my sister reckons you should follow your heart,” Jen mused out loud. The similarity of their situations rankled her.

“I suppose an apology can’t hurt, and time will sort out how I feel about him, I suppose,” Tina said softly. She stared out the airport sliding doors into the vacant parking lot. “I always thought he was the one…ah, hell. What did I know? I was only fifteen when I left for school.”

She slapped at her overall-covered legs. “I better get down to the engine house and see what’s going on. A malfunctioning engine is so much easier to cope with than trying to figure out what love means.” She laughed.

“You have no idea how much I can relate to that right now,” Jen said.

They walked from the airport in companionable silence, unaware that each was considering the similar weights on their own hearts.

* * * *

Flicking on the lounge light, the room flooded with artificial warmth, but the house still seemed cold and empty. Dumping her purse on the hallway table, she walked down the hall and stood for a moment outside Felix’s bedroom door. Please, don’t let it be true, she begged. He can’t have gone.

She reached out and turned the knob, pushing the door open with the tips of her fingers. Even from the doorway, she could see he’d stuck to his word. The bed was stripped, mattress bare, pillows without their covers. His posters that had hung on the walls, gone. Table tops empty of his knick knacks, aftershaves, and books. She wandered over to the tall chest of drawers, legs leaden beneath her. Pulling out a drawer, its lightness attested to the void inside.

He had moved out. Just like he’d promised.

Backing up until the backs of her legs touched the bed, she allowed herself to sit heavily, her shoulders sagging. She stared unseeing at the blank walls. Putting a hand to her heart, she wondered how it could still be beating so hard. It felt like ice in her chest. Then, as her vision blurred with hot tears, she realized what she’d done.

Not only have I lost a friend, but I’ve lost someone I could possibly have feelings for. She put her hands to her face and let the tears come. Now, if only I knew what love really was. Maybe, I could make this right.