Chapter Nine

She was unbelievably nervous. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach, and the only way to calm them was to pace. So, Jen did—until it felt as though she’d walked to New Zealand and back. It was Felix’s fault, she told herself. This whole date thing was crazy. She stopped by the window, lifted a net curtain to glance for the hundredth time down the driveway, and chewed on her bottom lip.

It was the unknown that rattled her. Felix had been horribly vague when she’d told him she was available today, only telling her to get ready for a two-part adventure. Adventure? It didn’t feel like an adventure. It felt like pure torture.

I’m the one who organizes things, she grumbled to herself. I’m the one who arranges fun things for everybody. The prospect of being the person on the receiving end of things made her half-crazy with both anticipation and dread. The fact that the only two things that Felix would tell her were horribly conflicting and confusing. She had to take something to swim in and a good pair of shoes. Were they hiking? Were they swimming? Should she dress for climbing or a day of lying in the sun? Hence the sentry position at the window. Whatever he was wearing was going to be a big clue.

She looked down at her knee-length khaki pants and simple T-shirt. A pair of sneakers on her feet and a bikini under her clothes completed the outfit. She thought maybe she was prepared for anything, but Jen bit her lip, and her toes tapped with nerves. For a moment, she wondered why she was so at odds with herself, and then she stilled with shock.

I’m pissed at not being in control. Not being the one to organize. She mentally face palmed herself. Idiot. Why can’t I just go with the flow? Enjoy the day, instead of worrying about it?

But…she wondered, is it the day I’m worried about? Or the person I’ll be spending it with?

Felix’s bike turned into the driveway, and Jen’s breath caught in her throat. The already hot morning sun made his dark hair seem almost jet black, his face serene, and a smile made his lips turn up at the corners. She quickly dropped the curtain and pressed her back against the wall, heart jumping in her chest. Mouth suddenly dry, she swallowed hard. What she’d chosen to wear seemed unimportant, where Felix had planned to take her irrelevant.

As she peeked through a slit in the curtains, she chewed on her bottom lip. As Felix slipped off the bike and approached the house, Jen had only one panicked thought rushing around her mind like a bottle of captured bees.

How am I going to deal with this sudden, heart-stopping nervousness around Felix?

* * * *

The quad bike puttered along the rutted roads on the western side of the island. Hitting a particularly deep pothole, Jen clutched on tighter to Felix and grimaced. She’d narrowly missed biting off her tongue, her teeth having snapped together so hard.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” he called over his shoulder. The wind rushing past them whipped his words away, and she only just caught his quick chuckle. “You’re lucky I dodged the bigger pothole on the other side of the track.”

“Where are we going?” Jen asked. She bit back the words as soon as she’d asked them. The road they were on only ended in one of two places. A turn off just ahead led upward to the reserve that overlooked the Landing—a high cliff aptly named Highest Point. The view, and the drop to the bottom if you strayed too close to the edge, was a killer. The other possible destination was Saint Paul’s Pool. This natural, sea-fed pool was crystal clear, hosted fish and lobster, and was only reached by a short hike down a steep stairway and then a rocky outcrop.

“Wait and see.” He chuckled. “I’ve got a bit of a surprise up my sleeve.”

They passed the side road that led to Highest Point and rumbled down the sharply descending road to Saint Paul’s. Okay, so Saint Paul’s Pool it is, she thought. The breeze kicked up by the quad bike as they powered down the road was warm, the heat of the Pitcairn day building to a crescendo, and a swim sounded perfect to Jen. It was so hot, the heavy scents of the rich, red dirt and the tangy aroma of the colorful Lantana flower growing thickly along the grassy roadside filled the air and her senses.

Not only the perception of her surroundings were heightened, however. The man sitting in front of her on the rumbling quad filled her senses to almost overwhelming proportions. Confusion at her reaction to this man who she’d thought of only as a friend for so long—the awareness of that heady sensation of sitting so close, they were almost fused. If he could physically turn around now, it would be so damn intimate that we would need protection…She cut off the sudden erotic thought, face flushing hot with embarrassment. Only two weeks ago, if she’d sat astride a bike behind Felix, she’d have thought nothing of it. Now, every place their bodies touched caused a frisson of excitement.

So, does that mean I like him? she wondered. Or am I just titillated by the fact that he said he likes me? The question stunned her. Could she just be feeling this confused because a hot guy liked her?

Mouth twisting into a grimace, she pushed that thought away. Felix wasn’t just some hot guy. He was Felix. Just Felix. Her friend.

That I’m on a date with. Her heart lurched, and she clutched on tighter to the carrier bars that she was sitting on. Gritting her teeth, Jen chided herself for her silliness. He is my friend, so why am I making a big deal out of this? Just enjoy the day, stop worrying about what could be, and let whatever happens happen. As the parking area high above Saint Paul’s Pool loomed, Jen relaxed a little. There was no pressure to make any decisions, now. All she had to do was go with the flow.

The bike puttered to a stop, and the engine died as Felix keyed off the motor, but Jen’s stomach still churned with nerves. Telling herself to relax was easy enough. Doing it may be a bit harder. Felix slid off the bike and then turned to help her off. She smiled wide, hoping like hell it looked like she was grinning and not grimacing with nerves.

“Are you ready to walk?” he asked with a glint in his eye and a smile on his lips.

“Ready for anything,” she lied. Nerves still jumping but determined to stifle them as much as she could, Jen followed him down the winding stairs to the pool.

* * * *

“I thought you said we were hiking,” Jen said as she slipped off her sneakers and socks.

The cool, salty spray that jetted up as it hit the rocks beyond the protection of Saint Paul’s spires settled on them in a gloriously light sprinkle, and she tipped her face to catch its dewy kiss. The pool stretched out before them—the size of a football field, delicately shaped over the eons of years into a deep haven for nature’s sea bounties. Glassily clear water seemed a beautiful, azure blue from high above at the top of the stairs. Now, Jen could almost count the grains of white sand on its bottom.

Felix shot her a grin before kicking off his own shoes and stripping off his shirt. “That’s next on the agenda.”

Gulping down the suddenly full mouth of saliva and tearing her eyes away from the chiseled and tanned chest he bared, Jen battled a shyness she’d never felt around him before. Grateful as he turned his back to dig into his backpack for snorkels and masks, she shakily removed her shirt and pants before diving into the water.

Caressing her heated body, the water cooled the flush that had risen to her cheeks, and she reveled for a moment as she glided through the shallow water. She felt the reverberations as he dived in behind her, and she surfaced, gasping for air. She smiled widely and naturally for the first time that day.

He came up beside her—dark hair plastered to his head, a matching smile on his face.

“I’ve been swimming here a few times, but each time, I’m just awestruck at how beautiful it really is,” she said breathlessly.

“Ever been snorkeling?”

“Nope.”

“Ever seen the blowhole go off from underwater?” His grin was blinding now, obviously chuffed that he was giving her an experience she’d never had until now.

“Sat on it and had bubbles in places I’d never thought they’d go, but that’s as close as I’ve gotten.” She laughed.

“You’re in for a treat, then. There are actually a couple of tubes there. Bryce took me spear fishing down here and pointed them out.”

They swam over the top of the now dormant, underwater blowhole. A cluster of small, rocky channels that led from the protected pool through to the sea beyond the blowhole sent bubbles cascading upward through the water every time the surf hit the rocks beyond. She’d felt the sensation of a thousand little darts of air as they surrounded her while she floated above, but seeing it in action from below would be a whole different matter.

Accepting a snorkel and mask, she slipped them on, and with a quick smile at Felix, ducked under the water. Instantly, her perspective on the world changed. The gentle surge of fresh water being replenished in the pool, and the silence of this watery world, settled her last nerve and calmed her soul. Even as Felix took her hand and pointed toward the rocky aperture, where the blowhole was situated, it didn’t startle the butterflies back to life. He signaled to descend, and she took a deep breath. They dove down to settle on the bottom, holding onto the rocky outcrop to keep them submerged.

They heard the noise before they saw the fountain of bubbles begin spewing from the bottom. A hissing built up, as if an angry snake spotted them and was about to protect its lair. The actual venting was surprisingly violent and awe inspiring. Columns of bubbles shot to the surface, the violence of the action sending out vibrations that buffeted them in the water. They shot to the surface, where they broke from the cool silence to the warmth above, the surf booming its presence from beyond the rocky barrier.

“That was just amazing,” Jen said, gushing.

“Knew you’d get a kick out of it. It’s fun to sit above the bubbles and let them buoy you and tickle their way past, but actually seeing it down there, the pure force of it…” Rivulets of water ran down his face as he lifted the mask to the top of his head, his expression radiant. “…I’ve dived in hundreds of places, but the water here is so clear, and the ability to see something like that up close without being thrown about by a turbulent ocean…” His voice faded away as he spoke, the awe evident in his voice.

Jen trod water, her legs scissoring through the water, and grinned back. One small experience together, and she’d slipped back into that comfortable space with him. “Shall we take a look around?”

They spent a joyful hour snorkeling in the crystal clear waters before scrambling out onto the rocky shoreline, waterlogged and exhausted. Toweling off and struggling to catch her breath, Jen quickly pulled on her clothes while Felix turned his back to give her a little privacy. She eyed him speculatively as she dressed, his towel wound around manly hips, and a muscled and tanned back dappled with droplets of water. Head turned slightly to look out toward the lonely Pacific Ocean, he stood so still that he could have been carved from stone—a Greek god with damp hair and strong features.

“Done.”

She turned her back so he could have a moment to change. “So, what’s next?” she asked, gnawing on her bottom lip. The temptation to turn around and check out what was under the towel nagged at her resolve, and she looked down at her feet, jogging from foot-to-foot.

“I’m decent.”

She turned, and her breath caught in her throat as he slipped his shirt over his head, his chest rippling. “Depends on what you call decent,” she joked, alarmed at the wobble in her voice. He grinned toothily and picked up his damp towel off the rocks, throwing it over his shoulder before grabbing his backpack.

She cleared her throat. “So, the rest of the date?” She used her fingers to scratch speech marks in the air to highlight the last word.

His smile grew wider. “Have you been to ‘Down the God’s’, yet?”

“Ah.” Jen’s mind clicked. “The hiking gear. No wonder you wanted me to wear decent shoes. I hear it’s pretty rough going down to see the Polynesian petroglyphs.”

The God’s was one of two sites on the island where the ancient Polynesians that had mined Pitcairn rock for stone tools and fishing hooks had also spent time carving designs into the rock. This site was also one of the most difficult to get to—over a high cliff littered with loose shale and along tracks that goats would have a difficult time navigating.

“You up for it?”

She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. A challenge was a challenge, and Felix had laid one down. “Of course.”

* * * *

His legs ached, and he had a massive graze that ran from his wrist to his elbow where he’d slipped on loose rock, but Felix felt like a million dollars. He hummed under his breath as he arranged the dinnerware on the table, and then crossed to the kitchen to check a simmering pot, grabbing a spoon to dip in and taste the liquid. Nodding at the light and delicate flavors, he added a little salt and then snatched his glass of wine off the bench before leaning against it, sighing with happiness.

Everything was perfect. The food he’d prepared was her favorite meal, the wine chilling in the fridge expensive—but one he knew she loved and only splurged on when it was a special occasion. Even the location was one to make her feel comfortable. Kate and Bryce had loaned him their house and kitchen for tonight, Bryce joking that he should fill the freezer with pre-cooked meals when he left.

He ran a critical eye over his preparations and nodded to himself. Yes, everything was as perfect as it could be. Everything had to be. Tonight would make or break us, and after our day, today…His thoughts drifted as he remembered how he’d left her not so long before.

He had dropped off Jen at home just as the sun had begun to dip behind the island, throwing the town into shadows as the day began to slide into night. She’d promised to meet him here for dinner in—he checked his watch—less than fifteen minutes. His heart twisted in his chest. The day could not have gone any better in his opinion. After seeming a little shy and awkward when he’d picked her up this morning, she’d soon relaxed, and by the time they’d begun the not-so-easy walk to “the God’s”, it felt like old times.

Almost.

The underlying current that ran beneath their usually cheeky banter, the pull that he’d always felt with her was there. This time, though, it was different. He paused as he lifted the glass to his lips and let the smile grow wider. It was different, because no longer did it feel as if he was the only one who had their heart strings tugged. Jen felt something—he just knew it. Her attitude toward him had subtly changed.

If he stared too long, her eyes would drop, and a flush would put roses in her cheeks. He would catch her stealing surreptitious looks when she thought he wasn’t looking. Their chatter, although still as ribald and comfortable, had an underlying edge to it—an unsureness.

Familiar, yet still testing each other. The thought that she was truly considering her feelings for him entwined in every word, even though she left it unsaid. He took a sip of wine, crossed the room, and dimmed the lights. Then, he lit candles, dousing the match with a jaunty shake of his wrist.

Tonight would be the night. Tonight would change everything. His stomach gave another lurch at the thought. He sat at her place at the table and fiddled with the lone, red rose he’d laid across her plate. Now, he chided himself, just don’t muck it up.

* * * *

A hot shower washed away the dirt and dust from their hike but not the nerves that assailed her as soon as she’d closed the front door behind her after Felix dropped her at home. The sudden bout of butterflies in her stomach confused her. She felt like she’d been riding a roller coaster of emotions all day—unfounded worry before he’d arrived to cheerful relaxation in Felix’s presence. She felt comfortable around him again after the oddness his revelations about his feelings for her had caused. Also, relief that she still felt that strong bond they’d built up as friends.

She dressed quickly and dithered for a moment in front of the mirror before adding eyeliner, mascara, and a touch of lip gloss. Not too much prettifying, she thought. I don’t want to go overboard and make him think I was fussing over what I look like.

Why not? her conscience asked.

Jen stared at herself in the mirror and then grinned at the stunned reaction on her face. She smoothed down the halter-necked dress she was wearing, the cut flattering on her slim figure. Her light brown curls had decided to play nice, and curls framed her face and her hazel eyes, bright with excitement. I look pretty good, even if I do say so myself. Can’t hurt to play up what I have, she thought with a smile. I am on a date, after all. Her heart lurched at the thought.

She grabbed a jacket and flashlight to guide her way in the darkening evening and closed the front door behind her, deciding to walk to her sister’s place instead of drive. From the old Quintal House, it was a ten-to-fifteen minute walk, but the way the butterflies in her belly had taken off in a flutter, she needed the time to calm her nerves.

With a start, she realized that the day’s excitement hadn’t felt like any date she’d been on before. Right now—the dinner she was on her way to attend with Felix—that was a date. Today had felt like friends exploring the island. Today had felt….easy. Comfortable. She let the flashlight wobble along the dirt road in front of her and bit her lip. But wasn’t there something else? That lurch in my stomach when he looked at me, the way he made me feel when he reached out a hand to help me over an awkward rock formation on the way to “the God’s”, that twinge in my nether regions when he had his shirt off? The thought made her giggle out loud, and then the smile faded.

I’m attracted to him.

Well, that’s stupid. She doubled her speed as sudden anger at herself coursed through her veins. What’s not to like? He’s gorgeous, sweet, and I thought he was hot stuff way back when I first met him—so, what the hell has changed?

Nothing! she argued silently with herself. Dress swirling around her legs as she stomped onto the main road and past the entrance to the hotel, she barely noticed her surroundings as she neared her sister and Bryce’s house. As she reached the driveway, however, she paused and looked up the short, paved path toward the residence.

Felix’s bike sat in the driveway, and she could hear soft and dreamy music drifting out from the open front door. Through the unshaded windows, she could see dim light flickering and smell the delicious aroma of a home-cooked meal—her favorite meal.

Candlelight. Music. Good food. It all added up to a very romantic evening with Felix.

Suddenly, Kate’s laughter rang through Jen’s brain as it played back their last conversation before she left for New Zealand. As if she was standing beside her, Kate’s voice was clear in Jen’s mind as she reeled off the list of men Jen had dated—the failures, the disasters. Her bad choices. Her terrible choices, and how fast she ruined the relationship she had with the one good guy she’d dated.

What if I do that to Felix? He cares for me. What if I hurt him? What if I do the same thing I’ve done with all my boyfriends? I can’t toy with Felix’s feelings just because I want to test out my own. She ran her hands through her curls and stared unseeing at the house. He doesn’t deserve that. Felix is a nice guy…and I hurt nice guys.

She shook her head against the thought and took one step toward the house. No, I’m not going to hurt him.

Her conscience nagged at her. You didn’t think you’d hurt Chris, too…and he was a nice guy. What did Kate say? You need drama, someone to fix. Felix doesn’t need fixing. He’ll bore you. You may as well date Blane.

Jen squelched the traitorous thoughts with a shiver, but they were enough to stop her in her tracks. Close enough to the house now to see Felix through the window, her stomach flipped. He sat with his back half-turned, but she saw the table set for two, the candles, the care he’d taken, and her knees went weak. Slapping her hand over her mouth to stop herself from crying out—pain suddenly white hot in her chest—she backed up a step, then another.

No. I am not going to hurt him. I care enough to know that. She kept reversing down the driveway, eyes unable to look away from the flickering light in the window. I’d rather he thought I was a bitch for leaving him in the lurch than lead him on and then end up dumping him. He doesn’t deserve that.

Heart thumping in her chest and breath hitching, Jen turned and ran before she walked in and was sure to break Felix’s heart—all the while, her own breaking in two.