Chapter 9

 

In the light of day, Ethan’s bedroom appeared larger, not that Maggie had paid much attention the night before. The bed where they lay stood high off the floor. Ivory colored walls and dark wood tones calmed the room in a masculine sort of way. She pulled up the down comforter and noted it matched the cornflower blue curtains framing a couple of long windows. Outside, the day appeared sleepy, the forest lush. It must be early morning still.

Maggie turned on her side and watched Ethan asleep beside her, his face peaceful, almost youthful in rest. Not like the sexy man who’d awakened her body the night before. A generous lover, his touch aroused and calmed. She’d made love with him, repeatedly. And as he’d promised, they did make it to his bedroom by round two. She smiled. Love sounded a strange word after only knowing him a week, but she couldn’t describe their night together any other way.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Ethan opened one eye and arched a brow.

“I thought you slept.”

“I could say the same of you.” Fully alert, he came up on one elbow. “You didn’t answer my question. Is something wrong?”

Did she appear concerned? She hated comparing lovers, but she couldn’t help acknowledging none, even Rick–or most especially Rick–came close to Ethan.

“Maggie?” His gaze narrowed and his chin clenched in that way of his–boyishly stubborn yet masculine. He was upset.

“No.” She reached out, smoothed a hand over one of his. “Nothing’s wrong. Last night was incredible, amazing. It’s never felt this different.”

“For me either.”

She blinked back at him. His expression remained open, observing her. “You’re telling the truth.”

He pushed off the bed and snatched up a pair of jeans from the nearby chair. As he slid into the loose jeans, the muscles in his thighs and butt flexed. The waistband rode right beneath the handles of his lean hips. “Why would I lie? After last night, have I suddenly proven myself a liar?”

“No.”

His eyes flashed angrily. Still, he said nothing. He turned away and picked up a moss- green tee.

“You’re angry.” Good job. How did she explain her insecurities without giving him some big pity party story? “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Tell me what you did mean. Because I can tell you now, if you can’t trust me–”

“Trust you? You mean like you did by letting me know you were leaving for two days. After you kissed me senseless in front of your ex-wife and our friends. Why did Elsie have to tell me about your trip? Why not you?”

“I didn’t know I reported my every move to you.”

“What?” She pushed a palm against her forehead. How had this conversation gotten out of hand? “I’m just surprised it’s never been this way for you. You’re a good-looking, rich guy. Women can’t keep their hands off you and it’s obvious you have a certain degree of skill. Even your lawyer would sleep with you if you’d let her.”

Ethan sat beside her on the bed. “What about you?”

“I thought we established my feelings last night.”

“You’re a beautiful woman, Maggie. What is it you want?”

Ask me to stay. Love me. Absurd. Where did such thoughts spring from? “I don’t know. Do I have to want something from you? What exactly are you getting at?”

He stood. “Most women want something.”

“I’m not most women.”

“You’re right, you’re not. What am I going to do with you?”

“Wow. Do with me?” Suddenly annoyed with his impersonal reference, she sat up, pulling the sheet over her body. “I’m not a thing, Ethan.”

“I never said you were.”

“Why don’t you ask me to stay?” The breath froze in her chest. She couldn’t have voiced those words aloud.

Sliding his hands through his hair, Ethan paced. “You told me people don’t up and move.”

How humiliating. Still, hadn’t he told her differently? “You’re right, I did.” Throwing back the sheet, she swung her legs off the bed and stood.

Ethan’s gaze roved over her, flaring with hunger. “Where are you going?”

Resist. “Back to the house. Elsie will need my help today. The wedding is tomorrow.”

He followed her out of the bedroom into the living room, where she picked up her dress and slipped it on. She gave the zipper her best effort, but after it took too long, gave up.

“Let me help.”

He stepped toward her. She waved him away, picked up her undergarments and stuffed them into her small purse. “I’m fine.”

“I’ll take you back.”

“I’d rather walk.”

“Don’t be stubborn.”

Furious with herself for caring for him and with him for his rejection of her, she shook her head. “Don’t tell me how I should act. I decide who I am, do you understand?” She placed a hand over her chest. “You won’t need to worry about what to do with me going forward. Keep your money and your caresses. I don’t want either.”

He bent his head, rubbed his neck. “Maggie.”

She didn’t wait for anything else as she walked out of the cottage and slammed the door.

* * * *

The day of Elsie’s wedding was crisp and cool but the tiny heater in the bridal tent left Maggie feeling warm and restless–at least she supposed it was the heater.

“You’re crying.” Elsie’s crystal blue eyes teared up as her hands waved like fans in front of her face. “Stop. You’ll make me cry too. My makeup will be dreadful.”

“Am I?” Maggie glanced at their reflections in the mirror. “I believe I’m a bit nervous and excited.” She bit her bottom lip and wiped beneath her eyes, making sure no tears fell on her lavender chiffon dress. Elsie dazzled in her strapless A-line gown. Crystals and pearls covered the bodice, which swept sideways and dropped down into an elegant satin skirt. Crystal teardrop earrings dangled from her earlobes. “Oh, hon, I don’t think anything about you could be dreadful in this moment, even if you tried.”

“What’s wrong? You never cry. I know something happened between you and Ethan.”

“Don’t worry. Ethan and I are fine. I’m definitely not crying over him. It’s not every day my closest friend gets married.” That was the truth. Maggie couldn’t stop the overflow of thoughts about Ethan since leaving his cottage yesterday, but in this moment, she could only think how beautiful Elsie looked. “I can’t believe it’s here. I’m incredibly happy for you.”

Elsie squeezed Maggie’s hands. “I know. Everything is going to be wonderful.”

Who was this stranger? Elsie was never this calm and collected.

“Are you ladies ready? Sun is almost setting. I’ve asked the staff to turn on the outside heaters.” Elsie’s mom pulled aside a long flap and stuck her head into the tent. She smiled when her gaze rested on her daughter. “Oh, you look beautiful, honey.”

“Not you too, Mom. I’ve already got a teary-eyed Maggie here.”

Mrs. Rogers fanned her eyes. “Your father is waiting outside. He’d like to come in.”

Maggie took a step back from Elsie. “I better go find Ethan and make sure the groom is ready.” She cleared her throat and smiled at Mrs. Rogers. “You look lovely as well. I’ll let Mr. Rogers know he can come in now.”

Maggie left the tent and waved to Mr. Rogers. With white hair and pale blue eyes like Elsie, he made a dashing older man. “You might have to do some damage control in there.”

“Don’t I always with you ladies?” Elsie’s father opened his arms. “Come here, Magpie.”

She smiled at the familiar endearment and walked into the older man’s arms. “She’s so happy, sir.”

“I know. And Mrs. Rogers and I are so grateful you’re here to celebrate this day with us and her.” He stepped back, his eyebrows drawn. “What about you, Magpie? I can’t say I’m disappointed you finally left that slimeball of a professor.”

She shook her head. “Me neither. I just wish I had made the decision sooner.”

He turned toward the tent, cupped a hand over one of her shoulders. “Life teaches us plenty. It’s okay to have regrets at times but acknowledge what is necessary. These past few days in Ireland have done you some good, whether you realize it or not. I’m not sure they would have, if it weren’t for Richard.”

“You’re right, sir. I know you are.” Ireland’s beauty and people seemed to feed her soul, but to say it that way seemed silly.

He smiled. “Of course I am. Something good has to come out of being this old.” She was going to argue against his age, when he glanced sideways. Ethan approached. “Looks like someone has come to collect you. I better get inside anyway.” He turned to Ethan. “Take care that she makes it down the aisle safely.”

“Will do, sir,” Ethan replied.

Mr. Rogers ducked through the flap and entered the bridal tent, leaving her and Ethan alone.

“You’re gorgeous.” Ethan stood several feet away from her, handsome in a three-piece, gray and black tux.

Despite her resolve to remain somewhat curt with him, she smiled. “You look quite handsome yourself.”

“Maggie, I–”

“No, Ethan. Please, not here. Not now.”

He nodded and held out his arm. “Are you ready? I’ll escort you to our starting position.”

She slipped her arm through his, ignoring sparks that ignited where they touched. “Yes.”

The wedding ceremony was set to take place in a clearing at the edge of the forest. As Maggie let Ethan lead her to the lantern lit path where they would walk down the aisle together, she realized she never could have imagined anything so magical.

Strings of lights were woven around the trunks and branches of the trees framing the clearing. Beneath the dusky sky, the trees glowed and sparkled as the lights reflected off thousands of crystals and chains of tiny white flowers hanging from their branches.

Maggie stopped suddenly. “Elsie has always been creative but I never imagined this.”

Ethan nodded. “It’s stunning. All in the county will be talking about this wedding for years to come.” He gave her arm a gentle tug. “Come, we better line up. They’ll be starting any minute.”

Maggie managed to calm her nerves as Ethan’s warm side brushed hers. He escorted her to her place on one side of a stone altar decorated by hundreds of white flower petals. Everything seemed surreal. Even Bryan seemed anxious as he paced beside Ethan.

A moment later the violinist started playing Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. Up until that point, it had taken everything within her to hold off more tears, but the instant she caught Bryan’s expression as Elsie started her walk toward him, tears fell freely. As little girls, she and Elsie had played out this day repeatedly. Never had she imagined the real day would be even more amazing.

Maggie smiled and sighed. Happiness for her friend swelled in her chest. She wiped her eyes and glanced up, catching Ethan’s gaze. She could have sworn he looked almost wistful, but the intensity in his stare made her forget everything else. It seemed an eternity before he broke the connection. The loss of his attention left a pang in her chest. Was she wrong to want him? Had she imagined everything between them?

She let her eyes drift closed as Elsie and Bryan exchanged their vows. The vows they spoke were beyond romantic. Perhaps one day she would be saying such treasured words to someone who loved her and whom she loved in return. When she opened her eyes to watch the bride and groom kiss, she avoided looking directly at Ethan. There was no sense in torturing herself and turning a happy day into a sad one. When the priest announced the bride and groom as Mr. and Mrs. Kelley, she clapped, laughed and cried at the same time. Fortunately, the crowd watched the newlyweds or else they’d have thought her a basket case.

“It’ll be all right,” Ethan said. He didn’t smile and for once, his features carried a note of uncertainty, as if he wasn’t quite sure he meant what he said. He knew. Despite Maggie’s outward happiness for Elsie and Bryan, Ethan knew she suffered.

“I’m fine.” She cleared her throat and lifted her chin. Today was Elsie and Bryan’s day.

“Ready?” He lifted his arm for her to grasp.

She nodded and slipped hers through his. As he escorted her down the aisle, neither said another word.

* * * *

“I think your staff cooked enough food for an army,” Ethan said to Bryan, a hand on his stomach. “You might need buses to take us home later.”

“You’re telling me.” Bryan said. “I thought brides and grooms never ate. Boy, was I wrong. A bit of whiskey will help it go down better.”

“I agree with you there. How does it feel being a married man?” Ethan followed Bryan into the cool cellar, weaving through the maze of wooden racks housing thousands of dusty bottles. “Last time I saw you this insanely happy was after Moira O’Brien kissed you. First year, wasn’t it?”

Bryan laughed, handing back a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey Rarest Vintage Reserve. “This should do. I remember that kiss. Moira wore cherry-flavored lip gloss.”

Ethan righted a couple wooden barrels and took a seat, then loosened his bowtie slightly. “Is that what it was? I swore the girl possessed some kind of mystic powers over you. Truly though, I wish you and Elsie much happiness. She’s a great woman.”

Bryan sat across from him and placed a couple of tumblers on a wooden crate next to them. “Yeah, I know. What about you? Anything happening with Maggie?”

“Haven’t a clue. She won’t hear me out.”

“Have you thought, maybe you argue too much?”

Ethan frowned. “I wasn’t arguing, not completely. I told her I didn’t know what I was going to do with her.”

Bryan put a hand to his forehead. “You’re joking.”

“What’s wrong with an honest statement?”

“Do you care for her?”

“We’ve discussed this already. You know I do.”

“Do you love her?”

“I told you before,” Ethan said. “I can’t give you an answer.”

“Why?” Bryan pulled the cork on the whiskey and filled each tumbler a third of the way. “Because it doesn’t make sense? Because it means you lay your heart out there for anyone to trample?”

“Of course it doesn’t make sense. I signed my divorce papers a few days ago.”

“Yeah. Before last night, you hadn’t slept with a woman in over a year.” Bryan took a deep breath and released it. “I’ll say this one last time. If you love her, go after her. Don’t let Miriam ruin you for the right woman.”

“I’ve already had my heart trampled.” Ethan placed the heels of his hands against his eyes, rubbing where it throbbed with a dull pain. He reached out for his glass and sipped, letting the smoky velvet liquid coat his throat.

“I hate to tell you this but it won’t get any easier,” Bryan said. “Then again, why would you want it easy?”

Why ever? “How do I know when I find the right woman?”

“Only you can answer that.”