Chapter Twenty-One

Mai scrolled through her email box. A starred email from her agent popped to the top of the list. Her chest tightened as she read the offer. She sent back her reply and lay back on the couch.

Money. A cushion for the first year they would be open. And maybe enough to take Dale on a real vacation. If she could convince her. She grimaced. Three months away. And Charlene.

Her gut churned as she thought of Charlene’s last attempt to seduce her after they had split. Mai swiped at the beads of sweat popping out on her brow. I can do this. I’m professional. And the money. The money would be sweet. Three months away from Dale. Does she love me? She cares. What does that mean? Maybe she’ll jump right back into Hit Me Up the second I’m gone?

Mai covered her face with both hands. Noah. I’m going to have to tell him. It will be worse than telling Dale. If I say yes to the special will there be anything to come back to if I do? Will it be worth it? Will I lose everything chasing after money?

The crash and bang of the back door startled her.

“Hey, Mai? You home?” Noah called from the kitchen.

“In here.” Mai sat up on the couch and rested her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands.

Noah sat next to her and peeled a banana. “You okay?”

“Yeah. No. I got an offer. To go back and do a special. It’s only eight shows.”

Noah chewed and swallowed his bite of banana before he spoke. “What about Mom?”

Mai fidgeted with her shirt buttons. “You have to stop shipping your mom and me. Your mom’s not in the same place I am.” Mai’s chest squeezed as she thought about her confession to Dale, her “I love you” unreturned and Dale’s nebulous “I care about you.”

Noah finished his banana before he spoke. His eyes were hooded and his expression flat. “You gonna do it?”

“I haven’t given them an answer yet.”

“It’d be a lot of money, wouldn’t it?” He looked away from Mai.

“Yeah. But money isn’t everything.”

Noah snorted. “Only people who have it ever say that.” He stood up and walked back toward the kitchen.

Mai watched him walk away and the hunched set of his shoulders and cursed herself for ever agreeing to the arrangement with Dale. Noah was right. She could no more walk away from earning money than fly. Too many nights of sleeping in her car, and making the choice between paying bills and eating, for her to ever walk away from a paycheck. Even with more money in the bank than she could spend in her life, she still worried about every dime. She rubbed at her chest as an ache had settled there.

She lay back on the couch and clasped her hands over her stomach. Clouds scuttled across the sky, plunging the room into gray shadows. Mai stared unseeing at the ceiling as she turned the last six months over in her thoughts. How could she walk away from a large paycheck and the possibility of more?

Money in the bank was the only sure thing, the only security Mai had ever known. The slam of a cabinet door followed by the crash of metal pans brought her to her feet. “Noah?”

Mai rounded the corner and came to a full stop. Noah stood in the middle of the floor. An assortment of pans and pots spilled across the floor. The cabinet door stood ajar, half off its hinges.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“You okay?” Mai kneeled next to him to pick up the cookware.

“Just peachy.” Noah turned away from her. He placed the stack of pans he was holding on the counter.

Mai gathered the few remaining pots and placed them next to the pans. Noah moved away and grabbed his jacket off the hook. Wordlessly he turned to the door.

“You have practice?” Mai glanced at the calendar next to the door.

“No.” Noah walked out and closed the door gently behind him.

Mai turned back to the jumble of pots and pans. A too perfect reminder of the chaos her leaving would create.