“You want me to what?” Nathaniel hadn’t snorted coffee out of his nose the way she thought he might, but only because he’d already swallowed before she asked her question.
Thinking back, it probably wasn’t the best subject to bring up over Saturday morning breakfast. Especially since he and Abby were meeting with several potential donors for his nonprofit in a few hours. And though she probably thought she was being helpful, Lynne didn’t think Abby standing in the doorway saying, “Just listen to her, Nathaniel,” was helping her case.
Lynne took a deep breath. “I want you to use a single tail on me. I want to know how it feels. And I’m asking you because out of all the Doms I know, I trust you the most.”
“That’s what I thought you asked.” Nathaniel turned his cool blue eyes her way. “No.”
“But—” she started.
“No,” he repeated.
“Nathaniel . . .” Abby said from the doorway, wearing a frown on her face and shaking her head.
He pointed at his wife, which stopped her from walking farther into the room. “The answer is no. It is not open for discussion, and before you decide to argue with me, I’ll remind you I don’t have a problem using a single tail on you.”
Abby didn’t flinch. Instead, she put her hands on her hips and gave him an evil look. “You can be such a fucking hardheaded ass at times.”
Nathaniel silently stood up and made his way to his wife. He looked beyond angry as he invaded her space, but Lynne had to give Abby credit; she stood her ground.
“Did you just curse at me, Abigail?” he asked in that low and dangerous voice of his.
Abby didn’t back down, but Lynne saw her swallow hard as her husband towered over her. She noted Abby was wearing her submissive collar. Definitely not the time to call her husband an ass. Especially since she was in the room. Her stomach ached, because she knew Abby had done it for her. Lynne just wished she’d gone about it a different way.
“Yes, Master,” Abby said, “I did, and I’m not sorry because it’s true.”
Nathaniel stood still, watching her for several long seconds. It was only when Abby dropped her gaze that he spoke. “I appreciate your honesty, but it’s not enough to spare your ass a chastisement you won’t forget. You disrespected me, and you did it in front of Lynne. Go wait in the playroom while I contact our prospective donors and let them know we’ll be delayed.”
Nathaniel and Abby had only recently had the playroom added to the penthouse. Lynne knew because they’d traveled to the city a few times during construction. Most of the time, when they came to the city, she’d remained in Wilmington because Nathaniel’s family had wanted to watch the kids. But there had been a weekend she came to the city with the Wests because the rest of the family had had the flu.
She recalled Abby mentioning the playroom was soundproof, and Lynne had never been happier than she was at the moment. Whatever was happening between Nathaniel and Abby, she didn’t have to listen to it.
But it was somewhat of an awkward position to be in. She couldn’t picture herself hanging out in the kitchen or living room while the two of them were locked away. She finally decided to go to her room to study. Besides, she wanted to see if Simon had sent her a message.
Her in-box was empty, so she settled in to her favorite reading chair and studied for an upcoming exam.
She was so engrossed in the material, she jumped when Nathaniel cleared his throat.
“Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay,” she said. He didn’t look like a scary Dom anymore, standing there in her doorway. He was back to the Nathaniel West she knew. The one who gave piggyback rides to his son and played princess teatime with his daughter.
“Abby’s in the shower,” he said. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” She stood up so they could walk into the living room. She’d been his employee long enough to know he would never cross the threshold to her room while she was in it alone. She’d thought he was crazy at first but had come to realize it was just one of his boundaries, and she actually grew to appreciate the gesture. It made her feel even safer with him.
He sat down on one of the couches, and she took a seat in a nearby chair. As she would’ve expected, he got straight to the point.
“Why the sudden interest in single tails?” he asked.
She almost told him to forget about it, that she wasn’t interested anymore. But she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him. Besides that, he would see right through her. She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.
“I’ve met someone online. He’s doing a demo, and I asked him if I could help,” she said.
“And you’ve never met him? In person?”
“No.” She wondered if she should tell him it was Simon. Would knowing make it better or worse? “But there’s no need to worry. I’ve checked his references and talked with others who have played with him before.”
“I don’t like the sound of this. At all.” He was frowning. “There’s so much that could go wrong.”
She knew all too well. And though she might be able to ease his mind by telling him who the Dom was, something told her not to.
“How about this?” she asked, as an idea came to her mind. “I can’t tell you his name because that would break confidentiality. But I can tell you that he’s a member at Luke’s club. He’s been vetted there.”
It was then that Nathaniel studied her. Really studied her. She didn’t know how Abby dealt with it. After just a few seconds under that intense stare, she was ready to spill all her secrets and make up a few, too.
“That means I probably know him.” Nathaniel’s voice was very calm and even, but she had a feeling he was anything but.
“That’s why I don’t want to give you his name.” She hoped she sounded firm, and she forced herself to look in his eyes. “Confidentiality.”
Yes, working for Nathaniel, she had learned a lot about him. His love for his family, his integrity in business, and, along with those, the fierce belief that their lifestyle remained confidential. And she knew that what he requested of others, he also gave.
He leaned back in his seat, obviously not happy with the way the conversation was going. He slapped his hands on his upper thighs. “Unfortunately, I can’t argue with that.”
She breathed a sigh of relief.
“However,” he said, “you do need somebody to work with you before you do a demo. And I don’t feel comfortable doing that.”
She dropped her eyes. Dammit. Now what was she going to do?
“I happen to have a good friend who is somewhat of an expert with single tails. You may have met him. Daniel Covington?”
Yes, she knew Daniel. She knew his submissive, Julie, better, though. She hadn’t been aware that Daniel was an expert with the single tail. She liked him. He was a lot more easygoing than Nathaniel, and Julie was really sweet, too. Lynne thought she could work with Daniel.
“Yes, I know him and Julie.”
“The only thing is,” Nathaniel said, and Lynne had the suspicious feeling she had just been backed into a corner, “I know Julie just about as well as I know Daniel, and while I don’t think she’ll mind if he practices his single-tail skills on you, I’m fairly certain she would want to be there in the room watching during the scene.”
She thought that was okay. It would actually be better, she thought, for Julie to be in the room. Maybe it would take away any awkwardness.
“I wouldn’t have a problem with that,” she told Nathaniel.
“Good. She had a friend who was injured once in a bullwhip scene. She’s trying to overcome her fear, but Daniel is going very slowly. Right now he’s only letting her watch.”
Sasha. That was the friend, Lynne thought. She had met her not too long ago. And though she was injured, it didn’t seem to have had a lasting effect on her. She was now wearing the collar of one of the Delaware members.
Nathaniel stood up. “If it’s okay with you, then, I’ll give Daniel a call and set something up. I’m not sure if you want them to come here, or if you should travel back to Delaware.”
“I’m open to whatever Daniel would like to do.”
He nodded. “I’ll call you and let you know what he says.”
• • •
As it turned out, Nathaniel and Abby ended up staying until Sunday night. They’d planned to head back to Delaware on Saturday afternoon, but apparently, the kids were having so much fun with their cousins, they extended the weekend.
Since they were staying longer, Nathaniel scheduled a business dinner with several of his executives for Saturday night. As soon as she heard his plans, Lynne turned to Abby.
“Are you doing anything?” she asked. “Because if not, I have a few things I want to talk to you about. Girl things,” she added with a quick look at Nathaniel.
Abby covered her shock nicely, she thought. “Oh? Okay. Sure.” She exchanged a look with Nathaniel. Lynne ducked her head and tried not to be jealous, but man, she wanted to have a relationship like that, where you could communicate without saying a word. When a lifted eyebrow and a slight upward curve of a lip said more than words ever could.
“And ‘girl things’ means it’s time for me to leave,” Nathaniel said. He kissed Abby, whispered something in her ear, and nodded toward Lynne. “Have a good evening.”
Abby waited until he left before she started her inquisition. “Tell me everything. I want his name, what he looks like, how you met him. Everything.”
Though she was smiling when she asked, Lynne knew Abby was completely serious about getting all the details. She stood up.
“Wine first,” Lynne said, making her way to the kitchen.
“Of course.” Abby followed. “What was I thinking?”
“Clearly, you weren’t.”
Once they each had a glass, they went back into the living room. Lynne sat on the couch and tucked her legs underneath her. “Before I tell you anything, I have to know, how much of what I tell you will you tell Nathaniel?”
Abby took a sip of wine, sitting beside her. “I don’t have to tell him anything if I don’t want to. But if you’re doing something dangerous or illegal, I’ll tell him, for your sake.”
Lynne nodded. She would expect nothing less. “I promise it’s nothing illegal and the only danger is to my heart.”
Abby looked a bit worried. “Who is it, Lynne? Because I have a feeling it’s not a stranger.”
Lynne could no longer keep her secret. It was time to share. “Simon.”
Abby went completely pale and didn’t say anything for several long seconds. Or at least Lynne thought they were only seconds. It felt like hours, but surely it hadn’t been that long.
“Holy fucking shit,” Abby finally said.
Lynne didn’t think she could breathe, much less speak. Out of all the ways she imagined Abby reacting, that wasn’t one. She’d thought maybe she’d be shocked, but only slightly. More than anything, she thought Abby would be happy.
Abby had seen her upset when Simon had first broken up with her. Hell, they had gone to Luke’s book debut party at the club not too long ago and Simon had been there. Abby had been the one to come to her that night when they had gotten home to make sure she was okay.
It had been to Abby that she’d first mentioned rejoining the BDSM community. Looking back, Lynne could see her desire to get into it for what it was. An attempt to get back into the lifestyle, yes, but more than that, a longing for Simon.
Not only did Abby’s reaction shock her, but it hurt.
She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight. “I don’t know what the big deal is. You know I still have feelings for him.”
“Has Simon said anything about Nathaniel?” Abby finally asked.
The question stumped her until she realized that of course Simon wouldn’t have said anything about Nathaniel. “No.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t know it’s me.”
Abby’s eyes narrowed. “I think you need to explain to me what exactly is happening.”
Lynne took a deep breath and gave her a quick rundown of the last few weeks. By the time she’d finished, Abby had a look of total horror on her face.
“What?” Lynne finally asked.
“This is a mess and a half.”
Lynne knew she was in a bit of a pickle, but surely it wasn’t as bad as Abby was making it out to be.
Abby drained the remainder of her wine. “I should have poured us something stronger.”
“I don’t know what the big deal is.” Lynne shrugged, trying to play it off like it was nothing. Maybe if she could get Abby to agree it was okay, she could start to believe it herself. “I mean, I get that I should have been up front about who I am, but if he gets to know Faye, what’s it going to matter that her name is really Lynne?”
“It’ll matter when Nathaniel finds out. He went to Simon’s the weekend you moved in and told him you were off-limits. That if he so much as thought about contacting you, he’d have him kicked out of Luke’s.”
“He did what?” Lynne remembered how Nathaniel had disappeared in the middle of moving her in. She’d wondered where he’d gone. Wondered what could have been so important that he had to go right then and couldn’t wait another minute. She didn’t give Abby a chance to reply to her first question before asking her second. “Why?”
“Why?” Abby rolled her eyes in what was the first halfway humorous thing she’d done in almost an hour. “You have lived in his house for almost a year, right? I mean, you get that he has the most asinine and broad definition of protection known to man. And I mean that in the most loving way possible. His behavior can be infuriating.”
“But why would he care about me and Simon? I’m his nanny.”
Abby made a tsk noise and patted her knee. “Oh, honey, you really don’t know him, do you? Yes, you are his nanny. You live in his house and take care of his children. You’re family, whether you like it or not. And as part of his family, you get to be on the receiving end of his innate determination to protect you.”
Lynne still didn’t get it.
Abby must have sensed her confusion. “Nathaniel saw how upset you were when Simon broke things off with you. As your protector, he will do anything in his power to keep you from experiencing that again. And if that meant threatening Simon, that’s what he’ll do.”
The enormity of what Nathaniel had done was starting to sink in. “Shit. And here I thought my biggest problem was going to be a slightly pissed Simon.” Now she was going to have to deal with Nathaniel as well.
“Have you given any thought to telling Simon who you really are?”
“Yes. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you tonight. I was thinking about telling him before we did the demo, but now . . .” She bit her lip. “Now I think I’ll leave my mask on. He told me I could, and there’s really no reason to tell him.”
“I disagree.”
Lynne turned her head sharply to look at her. “Why?”
“Look, I’ll be the first to admit that Nathaniel was a bit forward in his warning Simon away from you. Trust me when I tell you that I gave him an earful about what I thought when he told me. But keeping your identity from the man acting as your Dom? That’s never a good idea. It’s not going to end well, Lynne.”
Lynne couldn’t put a finger on the expression Abby gave her at first, but then she realized what it was—pity—and her body grew cold with fear. “Oh my God, you’re going to tell Nathaniel, aren’t you?”
Abby sighed. “I should. I really should. If for nothing else than I won’t be able to sit for a month if he finds out I knew and didn’t tell him. But I gave you my word I’d only involve him if what you were doing was dangerous. And while I think it’s not smart, it’s nothing that’s going to put you in harm’s way. At least not physically. So, no, I won’t tell him, but I strongly recommend you think about telling him and also come up with a plan for how to handle this.”
Come up with a plan. Yes. Lynne knew she could do that. She’d come up with a plan to tell Simon who she was after the demo weekend.
“I’m not going to like whatever thought you just had, am I?” Abby asked, a bit of her normal humor back in her voice.
“Probably not,” Lynne agreed, and then quickly changed the subject.
• • •
The West family left the next afternoon. Nathaniel’s aunt brought the kids to the penthouse that morning, and Lynne was delighted she was able to spend some time with Henry and Elizabeth. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed them until they’d left and she was once more alone.
She didn’t like the quiet. The weekend had been so much fun, spending time with everyone and feeling like she was part of a family again. It was stupid, since they weren’t her family. Her parents lived not too far from Wilmington, and she saw them often enough. Maybe it was that Nathaniel and Abby were such an integral part of her kinky family.
The thought of a kinky family made her smile. And even more than that, before Nathaniel had returned home the night before, Abby had taken her aside and showed her where the playroom key was. “Just in case you want to look around. You know, familiarize yourself again with things.”
Since her classwork was all caught up and she didn’t have any upcoming exams, that’s what she decided to do. She took the key and let herself into the locked room.
It was small. Smaller than she had envisioned it. But then again, the penthouse hadn’t been built with the intent of adding a BDSM play space. Abby and Nathaniel had renovated a closet and an extra bathroom into the room where she now stood.
Small, yes. But still large enough for two people. She ran her hand absentmindedly across a padded wooden and leather bench. She could picture Simon in this space. Maybe after she confessed who she was, she’d invite him over.
Or maybe that’s how she’d tell him.
She’d ask him if he wanted to come to her place, and once she gave him the address, he’d know. She bit her lip as she imagined it. Maybe she’d just tell him the building and she could meet him downstairs. If he knew it was her, he might not show up. Especially considering what Abby told her Nathaniel had said to him.
Damn, she’d gotten herself into a fine mess. But looking around the room, she was filled with a deep longing, and she knew if she could get back with Simon as his submissive, everything would be worth it.
• • •
Nathaniel called Lynne a few days later to tell her that Daniel could work with her on Saturday and that Luke had offered his club, late Saturday morning, before it opened to members. It sounded perfect, and she told him yes, not believing her good luck until she hung up.
It struck her that there was no way it was a coincidence that the session would take place at Luke’s club. Sure, that’s where Nathaniel was a member, but it was also where the man she’d admitted she’d been seeing was a member. Other than the playroom in the penthouse, both the Delaware house and the Hamptons estate had private play spaces. Not only that, but she was almost positive Daniel had his own room as well.
So, why hold the session at Luke’s?
She fingered the numbers on her phone, tempted to call Nathaniel back and say that wouldn’t work. But if she did that, he’d want to know why, and she couldn’t come up with a reason to tell him other than “I think you’re up to something.”
She could just imagine his response if she told him that. No doubt he would say, “Yes, I am, and what are you going to do about it?”
Nothing. There was nothing she could do about it. The best thing she could do was to go along with him and to be hyperaware of any snooping he did to try to find out Simon’s identity.
As it turned out, though, Nathaniel didn’t even show up at the club. She spent all week thinking up ways to keep him from finding out about Simon, and when she walked into the club, only Daniel and Julie were present.
“Hey, Lynne,” Julie said, coming up and giving her a hug. “How’s your summer going?”
“Busy. I’m in class most of the day.” Lynne had always liked Daniel’s submissive. She was friendly and funny, one of those people who made you smile by just being near.
“That’s what Abby said.” Julie leaned close and whispered, “Though it sounds like you’re not all work and no play.”
Lynne felt her face heat. “True enough.”
Daniel walked up to them. He was incredibly handsome, with dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and a smile that made everyone feel welcome. “Hello, Lynne.”
“Hello, Master Covington,” Lynne said. “Thank you so much for agreeing to work with me this morning.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble,” he said, his eyes dancing with mischief. “It’s been entirely too long since I’ve been able to take a whip to someone.”
Julie punched him on the shoulder. “Stop. You’ll scare her.”
“I’m fine,” Lynne said, but a twinge of fear had indeed started to worm its way around in her belly.
“He doesn’t get to use a single tail very often because it’s been a hard limit for me.” Julie took her by the arm and they started walking toward the play area. “I’ve only recently asked him to use one on me, and we’re taking it slow. Today’s the second scene I’ve witnessed since . . . well, for a long time.”
“Master West said he was the best.” It felt weird calling him that, but she knew that the house rules stated she call him that and not “Nathaniel” or “Mr. West.”
“He is,” Julie said. “Though I’m a bit biased. I think he’s good at everything.”
Julie’s love and respect for her Dominant were obvious not only in her words, but also in the way she looked at him. A look that was reciprocated every time Daniel’s gaze made its way to Julie. Lynne couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Who wouldn’t want a man to treat her that way?
They entered the main room of the club, and Daniel motioned for them to sit down on one of the couches set up near the equipment. Julie sat by his side, and Lynne found a spot on the love seat across from him.
“I have a few things to go over before we start.” At Lynne’s nod, he continued. “Do you have any medical issues I should know about?”
“No, Sir.”
“What’s your safe word?”
“Red.”
“I’ll be using a flogger on you before the single tail. Do you have any concerns or issues with that?”
“No, Sir.” She was more excited than anything.
“Are you okay being topless?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“From what I’ve gathered from Nathaniel, you’ve never been in a single-tail scene?” Daniel asked.
“No.” Her eyes drifted over to where the play space waited.
“What types of floggers have you experienced?” he asked.
Lynne shifted uncomfortably in her seat. He would ask that. She’d known he would, but still, she was hesitant to tell him. “I’ve never had anyone use a flogger on me.”
Daniel frowned. Surely Nathaniel had told him how relatively inexperienced she was. Or maybe not, judging from Daniel’s expression. It really wasn’t Nathaniel’s place to tell him, because when it came down to it, the only person who really knew about her experience level was Lynne herself.
She forced herself to look at him. “I have only a little bit of BDSM experience.”
Daniel’s lips had tightened into a line. “And you think a single tail is the best way to get more experience?”
“No.” Lynne shook her head. “The Dom I’m with is doing a demo with the single tail and I want to do the demo with him.”
“And this Dom thinks it’s acceptable to jump from nothing to a bullwhip?”
Dammit. She couldn’t exactly explain that Simon didn’t know. If she told Daniel that, she had no doubt he’d refuse to move forward. From the corner of her eye, she saw Luke’s office door open, and she knew he’d be joining them in a matter of seconds. She needed this conversation over by the time he made it to them.
“We’ve discussed, at length, our plans and steps going forward. This is what I want.” It wasn’t a lie. Not really. It was just a creative way to avoid the question.
Daniel nodded in understanding, but he clearly wasn’t happy.
“Hello, Master Covington,” Luke said, walking up to them, and for the first time, Lynne noticed he wasn’t alone. Anna Beth was at his side. Her eyes were wide and her mouth went slack when she recognized Lynne, but almost immediately, she schooled her features into indifference. “This is a submissive from the club who is going through a retraining. I asked her to come in to observe, but she’s not allowed to speak.”
It was Lynne’s turn to stand in disbelief. Anna Beth was a member of Luke’s club? How did she not know that? That meant the Dom she wanted and the sub who supposedly told the lies about her were also members here.
Along with Simon.
Daniel nodded tersely. “If you could have her go with Julie and sit beside her.” He gave Anna Beth a look of warning that spoke more than any words he could have said.
Luke motioned with his hand for Anna Beth to go to Julie’s side.
Daniel turned his attention back to Lynne. “I’ll give you ten minutes to get ready. Meet me over by the St. Andrew’s Cross closest to the bar.”
“Yes, Sir,” Lynne said, and hurried off to the locker room to change. She didn’t have a lot of fetish wear, but she had a few items. For today, she changed into a short skirt and a tight tank top that showed off her midriff. She’d debated wearing high heels, but had eventually decided not to, thinking that she’d rather be barefoot for her first encounter with a single tail.
She took a brief glimpse at herself in the mirror and nodded in satisfaction at what she saw. With a deep breath, she promised not to pay any attention to Anna Beth. This was an important step for her, and she was excited to see what it was going to feel like.
Daniel waited for her by the cross, and her eyes drifted up to a nearby clock to make sure she wasn’t late. Daniel smiled. “I’m horribly punctual. You’re not late.”
She swallowed her fear, slid to her knees before him, and bowed her head.
“I know this is new for you,” he said. “I need you to promise me you’ll use your safe word if anything becomes too much.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Stand up for me and take your shirt off.”
This was it. Arousal and anticipation pounded through her veins. She slowly rose to her feet and, keeping her eyes straight ahead, drew the shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor.
“Very nice, Lynne,” Daniel said. “Go face the cross.”
She was thankful she didn’t have to look at anyone to accomplish that task. This way she could concentrate on what she was doing and not on who was watching. In her mind, she made Daniel Simon and imagined that they were the only two people in the room.
With efficient fingers, Daniel secured her wrists and ankles to the cross. She closed her eyes and relaxed as much as possible.
“Everything feel okay?” Daniel asked. “Not too tight?”
She pulled experimentally against the bonds. Nope, she wasn’t going anywhere. “Everything feels good, Sir.”
“Thank you, Lynne.”
She was willing to bet he wasn’t so formal with Julie. But that was fine. She had zero interest in pursuing any kind of relationship after this with Daniel.
“I’m going to start out slow,” he said, and she exhaled, willing her body to go slack.
The first falls of the flogger surprised her. She’d prepared herself for them to hurt. But they didn’t. Instead, it was the strangest sort of caress. He probably wasn’t putting a lot of power behind his swing, and her body relaxed further.
He kept up the light strokes for quite some time. She wasn’t sure how long it was, but she grew accustomed to the rhythmic thuds falling, and at one point, she sighed because it felt so good. Her eyelids grew heavy, and it was as if she melted into the wooden cross.
“Still okay?” Daniel asked.
“Mmm . . . Yes, Sir.” She forced herself to answer his question before she slipped back into that dreamlike state where everything was so pleasurable.
She might have heard Daniel chuckle from behind her. She wasn’t sure, and the uncertainty didn’t bother her. Gradually, the strokes grew heavier, but she hardly noticed the change in sensation. In fact, it was as if she wasn’t standing in a kink club; she was racing down the corridors of her mind, looking this way and that. But no, she wasn’t racing; she was floating and it was the most magical feeling she’d ever experienced.
There was a break, and she almost told him not to stop, but the next thing that hit her skin had a bite. She sucked in a breath, and a peculiar warmth spread throughout her body. The bite came again, and she laughed.
“Lynne?” Daniel asked.
“Don’t stop, Sir.”
He didn’t, but she found she couldn’t help herself, and each time the whip made contact with her back, she giggled. She tried to stop, but the more she attempted to hold it in, the harder the giggles came. It didn’t make any sense. There wasn’t anything funny about the scene, and the whip actually hurt. Or at least it hurt more than the flogger did.
She was afraid Daniel might get the wrong impression, that he might think she was being disrespectful. The first time she laughed, he did hesitate before continuing, but he didn’t seem to mind or care after that.
Much too soon, he stopped.
“No,” she said, surprising herself. “Don’t stop, Sir. I won’t laugh anymore.”
But instead of starting again, a blanket fell around her shoulders and she was released from the cross. “I’m not stopping because of the giggles,” Daniel assured her, “though I’ve never had that type of response before. I’m stopping because I don’t want to push you too far your first time.”
“Will you do it again?” she asked.
Now it was Daniel’s turn to laugh. “I think you might have a streak of masochist in you.”
He took her by the elbow and guided her to the bench where Julie sat. As they approached, Luke tapped Anna Beth on the shoulder and motioned for her to follow him. They were halfway to Luke’s office before Daniel had Lynne situated on the couch between him and Julie.
Daniel kept one hand on her shoulder while he talked with her. “Everything okay? You feel all right? Any questions?”
She’d expected to be in pain when it was over, so she was surprised to find that she was not. “I feel a little weightless, and warm. Is that normal after a session with the single tail?”
“You’re probably still feeling the effects of subspace.” Daniel looked over her head and gave some sort of signal to Julie. “I’m going to put cream on your back. There are no open wounds, just some marks that will disappear in a day or two. You don’t need to do anything special. Just be aware of it and take some medicine if it hurts.”
Julie handed him the tube of cream, and Daniel had Lynne face away from him so he could take care of her back. His hands were knowledgeable and sure, but in her heart she longed for them to be Simon’s hands. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend he was there with her, but it didn’t work.
When he was finished, he had her put her shirt back on. After she was dressed, Luke came out of his office without Anna Beth and sat across from them. He passed her two extra-strength ibuprofens and a bottle of water. She swallowed the pills and drank half the water. She’d had no idea she was so thirsty.
“Everything okay?” Luke asked.
“Yes,” Lynne said. “It was so different from what I had expected. Not nearly as painful, and I’m sore, but everything has a pleasant sensation.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Daniel said. “Just to check on you. And I’ll have Julie talk to you as well.”
“That’s not necessary,” Lynne said. “There’s no need for you and Julie to go out of your way.”
“It is necessary, and we’re not going out of our way.” The way Daniel spoke let her know in no uncertain terms that it was not up for discussion.
Lynne nodded. “There is one thing I was wondering.”
“What’s that?” Daniel asked.
“Why do you think I giggled so much? I never heard of that! Is that normal?”
Daniel exchanged looks with Luke, and Luke was the one who answered.
“First, throw away any definition you have of normal. Second, it’s not common, but it happens. Some people react differently to pain than others. Some people cry, and a few of them laugh. That doesn’t make it wrong. Understand?”
No, she didn’t totally understand, but she knew that normal was different for everybody. She just wished her normal were more in line with everybody else’s normal.
“I would suggest alerting the Dom you’re playing with about your tendency to giggle,” Daniel said. “Again, not because it’s wrong, but because it’s different. And you don’t want him to be caught off guard.”
It all made sense when they said it, but Lynne still felt like the biggest freak there was. Suddenly, she wasn’t warm and weightless anymore. She was cold and alone. A tear escaped from her eye.
“Master,” Julie said, with a nod toward her.
“And she crashes fast, too,” Daniel said, scooping her up in his arms right as the dam burst.
• • •
Later that afternoon, Lynne went for a long walk, just to clear her head and to allow herself time to think. She couldn’t believe she’d cried all over Daniel like she had. He assured her it was fine and completely understandable, but she still felt utterly foolish. What would Simon think if she cried after her demo with him? She tried to decide which was worse, laughing during the scene or sobbing hysterically after?
Maybe Simon had been right all along about her not being a submissive.
Daniel had repeatedly told her it didn’t mean any such thing. When she’d finally stopped crying, she’d been mortified, but he’d taken it all in stride and asked her to join him and Julie for lunch. She’d almost said no, but Luke had given her a look and Julie had taken her hand and begged her to join them.
Lynne had ended up giving in and had a delightful lunch with the fun-loving couple. They were both so down-to-earth and funny. She didn’t feel like a third wheel at all, and by the time they finished and she had returned home, she’d felt much better.
Daniel had mentioned that a bit of exercise would also help keep the symptoms of subdrop down. He’d told her that was what she’d been experiencing when she’d cried and it was a common reaction to the endorphin drop after a scene.
As a whole, she didn’t exercise all that much. When she was in Delaware, the kids kept her busy, and in the city, she usually walked. But she thought she needed to walk farther than she normally did, so once she stepped out of the penthouse building, she headed away from school, toward an area of the city she didn’t often frequent.
Once there, she wandered around, feeling almost like a tourist taking in all the shops and cafés that had been added since her last visit. She’d just passed an ice-cream shop and was debating on whether she wanted to get a cup or a cone when she saw a new jigsaw puzzle store.
All thoughts of ice cream left her mind. She’d loved jigsaw puzzles in college. They’d provided an outlet for stress relief. In fact, she’d enjoyed them so much, she couldn’t remember when she’d stopped doing them. Probably when she took the job at the law firm. The long hours and almost nonexistent weekends hadn’t allowed her to have much time for hobbies.
But now . . . She stepped inside and felt the same feeling she did when she walked into a bookstore. So many options to pick from. She knew she was taking a puzzle back to the penthouse; she just didn’t know which one.
Fifteen minutes later, she’d narrowed it down to two: a ten-thousand-piece New York City scene or an eight-thousand-piece puzzle of a painting that featured a medieval peasant couple. Deciding she would rather have the couple, she put the cityscape box back and started toward the register when the shop door opened and she stopped in her tracks.
Simon. Simon was here in the jigsaw puzzle store.
He didn’t see her right away. He was all smiles as he walked up to the counter to speak to the sales associate. It was clear from their conversation that he was a frequent customer.
She didn’t know how long she stood there, frozen, trying to decide if she wanted to withdraw deeper into the store or to place the puzzle on a nearby shelf and try to leave without being seen. Or if she wanted to stay right where she was so she could look at the all-male deliciousness that was Simon.
“Can I help you?”
A sales associate she hadn’t been aware of came up behind her. At the same time, both Simon and the guy he was speaking with looked her way.
“Ma’am?” the person behind her said.
Simon turned a bit pale, and his eyes grew wide in recognition. “Lynne?”
“Simon . . . uh, hi,” she said, feeling like the temperature had risen twenty degrees in the last thirty seconds. She lifted the box she was holding. “Just looking at puzzles.”
The corner of his mouth twitched upward in the slightest hint of a smile. “I see that. I didn’t know you enjoyed puzzles. And not the simple ones from the looks of it.”
“Oh, yes.” She nodded. “The harder, the better. I like it hard.” Fuck. “I mean, I like them hard. The puzzles. Not anything else.” That didn’t sound right. “Except some things.” She realized she was staring at his crotch. “I . . . uh . . .”
Even the sales associates were stunned into silence. She set the box on a nearby table. “I’ll just, uh . . . yeah.” She ran out the door as fast as she could and headed straight for the ice-cream shop.
Dammit, she thought, wiping the tears that threatened to fall. She should have gotten ice cream like she’d planned to in the first place and never gone into the new store. Now she didn’t have a puzzle and she’d made herself look like an idiot in front of Simon and his friend, the sales guy. Plus, she could now never go back into that store again.
The chime on the door rang out as the door opened, and she shifted lower into the booth she was sitting at. If only she’d thought to bring a book. Then she could pretend to be reading. Or taking notes. Or doing anything other than sitting in an ice-cream shop, trying not to cry.
Maybe whoever it was would order and leave.
“Lynne?”
But no. It had to be Simon.
She didn’t look up. “Just leave me alone. I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one century. Please don’t make it worse.”
“Lynne.”
The way he said her name, the way it washed over her body, left chills in its wake. She couldn’t help it. She lifted her head, and the sight of him took her breath away. She’d forgotten how his very presence invaded her space, like he was filling her up completely. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it. And all too soon, she knew he’d leave and she’d once more be without his strong presence.
“Hello, Simon.”