It was a strange position for Simon to be in, and he could have kicked himself for allowing it to happen. Though, truthfully, he wasn’t sure how it could have been avoided. He ran his fingers through his hair. He wanted two women.
He wanted Lynne, and he wanted Faye.
It was almost ironic that after playing casually with partners for so many years, when he finally felt like he might be ready to think about settling down, he couldn’t decide on which woman he desired more. The problem was they both appealed to him and he wanted both of them.
Would it be better to end it with one of them now as opposed to later? He’d only talked with Lynne a handful of times, but already he was intrigued enough that he’d have to get to know her all over again. From what he’d seen so far, it would be something to look forward to.
But Faye . . .
She was a sexy mystery, and he’d like nothing better than to peel back the layers of her masks one at a time, little by little, to expose every inch of her. Add to that the way she’d orgasmed from spanking herself? Yeah, he didn’t want to let that go either.
The demo was coming up with Faye and with it the overnight trip. It wouldn’t make any sense to decide one way or the other with that in front of them. Maybe they would do the demo and it’d be obvious that there was no chemistry. Or it could be that the opposite happened. It could go so well that Faye ruined him for all other women.
Either way, he shouldn’t make a decision before playing with Faye.
After the demo with Faye, maybe he’d ask Lynne to come over to his place one Sunday afternoon to work on a puzzle. Sunday would be good. Hopefully, she’d have finished all her schoolwork.
He’d thought about inviting her to go with him to the club afterward, but he’d decided he wasn’t ready to make their relationship public just yet. Not to mention, Nathaniel had told him Lynne didn’t want to be a member there.
He couldn’t help but wonder which camp Lynne would be in. Would she like being exposed in front of others? Old Lynne? No way. But New Lynne?
The possibilities were endless.
He was driving himself crazy, trying to work things out in his head, and he jumped at the distraction when his phone rang.
He didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”
“Hey, Simon.”
It took him a few seconds to pick up on the voice.
“Anna Beth?” he asked. “Is that you?” What the fuck was she doing calling him, and how had she gotten his number?
She giggled.
“I’m two seconds from hanging up on you,” he warned.
“Now, now, now,” she cooed. “You don’t want to do that. Not when I have information you need on those two women you like.”
Anna Beth knew about Faye and Lynne? How was that possible? Faye made sense because they posted on public boards, but how could she know about Lynne? Everyone who knew them thought they were yesterday’s news. The only person who might think differently was the sales guy at the puzzle store.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” he said.
“Faye and Lynne. Lynne and Faye,” she sang.
Enough was enough. “Leave me alone, Anna Beth. And leave Faye and Lynne alone, too,” he ground out. “You go anywhere near them, I’m calling the police.”
He hung up.
But if she’d wanted to shake him up, she’d achieved her goal. The call bothered him more than he wanted to admit because it just wouldn’t leave him alone. What was she talking about, and what information could she possibly have? More than that, he hated that he couldn’t think about either woman without thinking he was missing something.
• • •
Lynne drove to the secluded resort in Pennsylvania. She had a bad feeling about the weekend despite her excitement to see Simon again. So bad, in fact, she’d been up most of the night, trying to come up with a plan for the weekend. She wasn’t all that happy with what she came up with, but it was the best she could do on such short notice.
There was no way she could go all weekend with a mask on. She knew that. On the other hand, she was afraid if she told Simon who she was before the weekend started, he wouldn’t take her to the conference. Her plan, therefore, was to practice with her mask on and then take it off and reveal who she was before the demo.
It wasn’t a foolproof plan—hell, she didn’t even think it was a very good plan. Unfortunately, it was the only plan she had. At least she was driving herself, as it would’ve been horribly awkward to be in the car for two hours wearing a mask. As it was, she planned to put the mask on right before she got to the conference site.
The other concern she had was her voice. She had racked her brain, trying to think of a way to disguise it, and had come up empty. She did the next best thing. She wrote a quick note, explaining that she had lost her voice. She assured Simon in the note that she wasn’t sick and she wasn’t contagious. She told him she thought it was allergies.
She couldn’t shake the feeling, however, that everything was getting ready to blow up in her face. That no matter what she did, it wasn’t going to be enough and Simon was going to be pissed as hell when he found out.
She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, willing the miles to pass faster, but at the same time hoping she never got there. Her phone rang, and she put it on speaker, tickled to have something to keep her mind off the impending conference.
“Hello?” she asked.
“Hey, Lynne.” It was Abby.
Lynne had called her earlier in the day, but had to leave a message. “Hey, Abby.”
“What’s going on?” Abby asked.
“We have a long weekend break this weekend,” Lynne explained. “I’m going to a BDSM conference. With Simon.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone. She really hoped she wasn’t on speaker and Nathaniel hadn’t just heard that.
“Does he know who you are?” Abby finally asked.
“I’m telling him this weekend. Probably tonight, after we practice.”
Abby gave a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. It’s about time. But why after you practice?”
“Yeah, I know it’s time. If I can just get through the next few hours, I think we’ll be okay. And I want to do the practice first because I’m afraid if he knows it’s Lynne and not Faye, he’ll go easy on me.”
“Simon is a good guy. I’m sure he’ll understand why you did what you did.”
Lynne couldn’t help but think that Abby was only saying that to make her feel better. She still feared Simon’s response once he found out the truth.
“I know he is,” Lynne said. “I just wonder how much he’ll be willing to accept, you know?”
“Don’t sell him short. He may surprise you.”
Or he might react the exact way she thought he was going to. But she kept that to herself. They chatted a bit more about the kids, her classes, and their plans for when school ended. Though Lynne felt momentarily better, as soon as Abby disconnected, she was right back to where she was before the phone call.
An hour later, she pulled into the parking lot of the conference site, mask firmly in place before she prepared to exit the vehicle. Abby had mentioned that she and Nathaniel had been to this place twice. Lynne drove past a large stone building to the overnight facilities toward the back.
She wasn’t sure about the sleeping arrangements, and she almost went to the front desk. But she realized she had never given Simon her last name. She doubted they would reserve a room under the name Faye with no last name. On a whim she checked her phone and smiled when she saw there was a message from Simon.
Faye,
When you arrive, call me. I’ll come down to the lobby to take you to our room.
—Simon
All the breath in her body left with one big whoosh. She guessed that took care of the sleeping arrangements. From the sound of things, she’d be sharing a room with Simon. Definitely a good idea that she was going to tell him the truth tonight. And still, her body trembled at the thought of it.
She typed out a short text to Simon, letting him know that she had arrived and was waiting in the lobby. The woman at the front desk asked if she could help. Lynne shook her head no, not wanting to speak since she wasn’t going to talk in front of Simon. Yet at least.
Please let this weekend go well.
Please let this weekend go well.
Please let this weekend go well.
Maybe if she said it enough, it would actually happen.
She didn’t have to wait too long for the elevator to ping with Simon’s arrival. The doors slid open, and he walked out, looking entirely too handsome. How was it he could look so good? Maybe the car ride had revitalized him, but all it’d done to her was drain her. Of course, Simon had probably gotten a full night’s sleep the night before.
Plus he wasn’t carrying a bunch of guilt like she was. She firmly believed it was the guilt that made her feel so bad. Partially anyway.
“Hello, Faye,” Simon said, holding out his hand.
She took that as a sign that she was not to kneel before him just yet.
He picked up her overnight bag. “Come with me. I’ve already checked in and got the room ready.”
The room where she’d be sleeping with Simon.
He must have seen her reaction to the fact that they were sharing a room. “Don’t worry. I requested a suite, so there are two bedrooms.”
She smiled and nodded. At her silence, Simon tilted his head. Lynne took that moment to hand him the note she had written. He read it, then looked at her strangely.
“You can’t talk?” he asked, and she shook her head. “You can’t talk and you insist on wearing a mask. I can’t tell if that makes you mysterious and alluring or something else entirely.”
She was glad she’d decided to tell him the truth tonight. From his tone, it was clear he wouldn’t be too happy if she kept the mask on and didn’t talk all weekend. She pushed aside any remaining unease and told herself to focus on what would happen after she told him.
It would only be the two of them, and once she confessed everything, they’d have the entire weekend to catch up. Surely, after they practiced for the demo, he’d see that she, Lynne, was everything he wanted.
No matter what happened, by the time they went to bed tonight, there would be no secrets between them. There was comfort in that. Even if he didn’t take it well, she could rest and not feel guilty.
Simon waved at the woman at the front desk and said to Lynne, “Let’s go upstairs.”
She followed along silently, noticing that a large group had just arrived and was checking in. She was glad Simon had already taken care of everything.
He didn’t say anything, not as they walked to the elevators, not while they were in the elevators, and not as they walked down the hall toward the room he’d secured. It wasn’t like him to hold back, and suddenly the twinge of unease she’d experienced in the car but managed to ignore became more pronounced.
He took her bag into a large bedroom, and only after he set it down did he address her. “I’m sure you’d like some time to refresh yourself and get settled. I thought we could talk a bit after, but I guess we can’t do that with your voice the way it is.”
Nope, he was not happy at all. He wasn’t exactly mad, but rather, his emotions seemed to lie someplace in the middle. She wanted to tell him she was sorry. That he just had to wait a few more measly hours and everything would make sense.
But she couldn’t. Not yet. Not until they’d at least practiced the demo.
The practice demo? What time were they scheduled to do it? And where would it happen? She almost asked him, but stopped herself before she could give herself away with her voice.
Her question must have been obvious, because Simon said, “You’ll find our schedule for the rest of today on your nightstand.”
Which told her that not only did he have a freakishly creepy way of reading her mind, but he didn’t expect her to sleep in his bed. The ball of unease in her belly continued to grow, and as she went into the bedroom to change and get settled, she had the almost overwhelming urge to leave. Simon didn’t seem like himself. It couldn’t be the mask. She’d told him ages ago she was going to wear it this weekend. Could it be the voice thing?
With a heavy sigh, she sat down on the bed right as she heard Simon leave the room and go out into the hallway.
• • •
It wasn’t common for Simon to be so unsure about what he should do, and as he would have guessed, he didn’t like it one bit. He didn’t believe for a second that there was something wrong with Faye’s voice. She didn’t want him to hear it for some reason.
He’d always claimed to like puzzles, but perhaps he’d better stick with the inanimate kind. The mystery posed by Faye was enough to give him a headache. He had to leave the room because he needed to figure her out and he couldn’t do that if she was nearby, watching him through the eyes of that damned mask.
He decided to walk about the complex that was housing the BDSM workshop for the weekend to try to clear his head. Or hopefully, at least start to untangle the mess he found himself in.
What did he know about Faye?
He made a mental list. She lived in an expensive apartment. Maybe somewhere near the Wests. She had a job that made her not want to appear in public, but she didn’t have a problem playing in public. She was fine as long as no one could recognize her. And now, today, one more piece—she had a distinctive voice.
When you looked at all those pieces together, she seemed to point toward some sort of public figure. But that could be anyone from a local TV personality, to a politician’s daughter, to an actress.
He stopped in his tracks as another thought hit him. If she wanted so badly for him not to know who she really was, why was he going against her wishes? She obviously trusted him. Wasn’t that enough? Did it really matter who she was?
But it did, because deep down he wanted her to trust him enough to tell him everything. That was the crux of a successful BDSM relationship, and if she couldn’t trust him with something as basic as her identity, how could she possibly trust him when it came to something physical?
He reminded himself they hadn’t known each other that long. Trust wasn’t a given. It had to be earned. Maybe she’d agreed to this weekend as a way to see how he’d handle himself. If he proved himself trustworthy to her, perhaps by Sunday their relationship would be much stronger than it currently was.
He needed to be patient. And take things slowly. And demonstrate understanding. Because he didn’t want to fuck up this thing with Faye. He wanted to prove himself worthy of her trust.
He walked back to the room, prepared to start.
She was in her bedroom with the door closed. He supposed he couldn’t blame her. Not with the way he’d acted, storming out the way he had without even saying a word to her in good-bye. He knocked on the door.
“Faye?” he called.
The door opened slowly and she peeked her head out. The way she looked at him with those eyes of hers, so curious and trusting. It reminded him of someone, but who? He tried to picture her on television, but the image wouldn’t come. But it did go far in proving that she was a public figure of some sort.
“I . . . uh . . . just wanted to let you know how glad I am that you’re here with me this weekend.” He hadn’t told her that yet, and he could have kicked himself for his lack of manners. No wonder she didn’t trust him enough yet.
“Since we have about two hours before we practice, would you like something to eat? I could order something and we could eat on the balcony. I understand it overlooks a courtyard.”
She nodded. Damn, it was strange trying to communicate like this.
“Why don’t you come into the living room? There are a few menus, and you can point to what you’d like.”
She smiled and took his hand when he offered it.
Yes, he decided. This was progress.
Thirty minutes later, they sat on the balcony. She’d ordered some kind of hot tea, and while he’d have preferred a beer, he never drank before a scene, so he’d ordered coffee. Black. Extra strong. On the table between their chairs was a plate with sandwiches. She didn’t like onion or tomatoes. It was ridiculous how happy he was to learn tiny details like that about her.
The staff was busy below them setting up various stations for the evening. From what Luke had told him, the courtyard was the place to be after dark. A dance floor was being set up in one corner, and close to it was what appeared to be a well-stocked bar. Impressive since the conference rules limited a person to two alcoholic drinks.
But covering the majority of the courtyard was play space. There were padded benches and St. Andrew’s crosses, plus Simon thought he saw what looked like a suspension web being set up in a far corner.
He glanced to his side. Faye sat slightly forward in her chair, as if hoping to get a better look. Her tea sat on the table, forgotten. He looked away so she wouldn’t see him staring, but he couldn’t help wondering if she’d like to play. Maybe tonight after they practiced or tomorrow night after the demo? He wouldn’t mention it to her right now. He’d see how practice went first.
Her gasp caught him off guard, and when he looked at her this time, she’d sat back down in her chair. Was she hiding? Had she seen someone she recognized? He scanned the courtyard, but nothing seemed out of place. If she was a public figure, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary, he supposed, for her to come across people she knew, no matter where she went.
He was starting to see the benefit of the mask.
A quick glance at his watch told him it was about time they started getting ready. Beside him, she was still sitting as far back in her chair as possible.
“Faye?” he said gently, not wanting to spook her. She looked at him, her eyes wide. “Are you okay?” he asked.
She nodded, but he wasn’t sure he believed her.
“We probably need to start getting ready to practice. That is, if you still want to.” For some reason, it felt necessary to give her an out. “They booked the practice rooms rather tight, so we don’t have a lot of spare time.”
She took a deep breath and stood up. He suspected he couldn’t conceal the look of relief that likely passed across his face. He had been looking forward to finally playing with Faye, in person. But now he had a new goal. She might not let him hear her talk, but he was willing to bet he could work the whip in such a way that she wasn’t able to remain quiet.
She wouldn’t give him her words, but dammit, he’d have her sighs and moans of pleasure.
As they walked back into the room, he stopped her. “I’m not going to request you be naked until we get in the practice room. Wear something easy to take off.” At her nod, he added, “Meet me in the living room in fifteen minutes.”
He went to his own room to prepare. It was only a practice session, but he wanted to give her the full experience. He changed into his leather pants and a black shirt; on his way to the living room, he grabbed his toy bag and slung it over his shoulder.
He stepped into the living room and realized his mistake in telling Faye to put on something easy to take off. The sundress she’d selected was made of some sort of gauzy material that somehow managed to both sway with her movements and cling to her curves. She looked like a walking advertisement for sex. He hated to tell her, but if she’d wanted to stay inconspicuous, wearing that dress wasn’t the way to do it.
They walked to the rooms where practice sessions were being held and arrived right as the couple before them was cleaning up. He recognized the Dom and exchanged hellos with him. The woman was unfamiliar.
As they left, he overheard him thank her for filling in. Apparently, the submissive he was supposed to be working with hadn’t shown up.
“But I know she’s here,” he told the substitute.
“I’m available if you need me tomorrow for the demo, Sir,” the unknown woman said.
They started walking toward the door and fell out of earshot.
Just as well, Simon figured. He needed to concentrate on Faye and not on other people’s missing submissives. At the moment, his submissive for the conference was kneeling in front of the cross and she still had her dress on.
He would have taken it off her himself, but he knew better than to finger the delicate fabric. He’d end up ripping it or snaring it somehow. No, delicate fabrics did not belong in his hands.
“You look very lovely, Faye,” he said. “Stand up and strip for me.”
She rose gracefully, the movement causing the material to shift slightly. His fingers itched to touch her.
Soon. He balled his fists to control the urge to touch her all over.
She tugged at the dress and slowly pulled it over her head, revealing little by little the smooth expanse of skin underneath. She had been captivating through the computer screen. In person she was stunning.
She lifted her head, and when their eyes met, the look of longing, desire, and excitement took his breath away. At that moment, he hoped his eyes reflected the same to her.
“Go face the cross,” he said in a rough voice.
She moved without hesitation, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her ass. In fact, if it weren’t for the fact that there was another practice session after theirs, he would have spent more time simply watching her. But, unfortunately, he couldn’t take as much time as he would like to.
“Lift your arms up,” he said. “Show me that you’re willingly putting yourself in my control. That you accept what I’m going to do to you.”
She lifted her arms, and he couldn’t help but notice they were trembling. The small show of nerves fed the beast within him.
“Oh, Faye,” he said, walking slowly toward her. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to have you like this?”
As he talked, he secured each wrist to padded leather straps above her head. He did the same with her ankles and then he took a step back.
“Holy fuck, Faye,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so hot in my entire life. The sight of you, submitting to me this way. You have no idea what it does to me.” He shook his head. Maybe tonight in their room, they could do more, and then he would take his time. He took a bell out of his bag and pressed it into her right hand. “Since your voice is gone, drop this to safeword. Nod if you understand.”
She nodded.
He ran a hand down her back, feeling the skin he was getting ready to mark. “I’m only stopping when you drop it.”
She sucked in a breath, but nodded.
He took a flogger and began to warm her up, falling into a ritual he hadn’t performed in far too long. The mutual give-and-take never failed to turn him on. The dance of submissive and Dominant. Faye felt it, too. He could tell by the way her body swayed and the way she took each stroke he gave.
After warming her up with the flogger for several minutes, he put it to the side and picked up his bullwhip. Sometimes he’d make it crack in the air before using it, but it appeared Faye was already in subspace, and he wanted her to stay there for the moment.
“We don’t have the time here,” he said. “But after I get you down from there and back in our rooms, I’m going to put you facedown on my bed so I can fuck you while I look at the stripes I’m getting ready to put on you.”
She gave a lazy nod.
He studied her as he brought the whip down across her back. Her head fell back and she moaned. The sound was so unexpected, he stopped for a second. Warning bells sounded inside his head, but although it was so familiar, he couldn’t figure out why. He whipped her again.
She giggled, and he froze.
Why the hell did it sound familiar? He was torn between bringing the single tail down again and trying to put his finger on exactly where he’d heard that laugh before.
“Finally figured it out, didn’t you?” someone whispered from behind him. Another familiar voice.
He spun around. Anna Beth?
She was naked and wore only a victorious grin. “Yes. I’m a bit late. Somehow my practice session got scheduled before yours, and that wouldn’t do. I couldn’t risk the two of you seeing me before you started.”
Their commotion must have ripped Faye out of subspace, because she started pulling at her bonds. Her body jerked at the sound of Anna Beth’s voice.
“If you saw me, you would have run away. Isn’t that right, Lynne?” Anna Beth spoke with evil sweetness.
“No,” the woman he knew as Faye wailed from her position.
“Lynne?” he questioned, but even as his mouth spoke the word, his head recognized the truth.
Holy shit. What have I done?
She dropped the bell and sobbed.
“Serves you right, bitch,” Anna Beth spat. “Don’t you know not to lie to your Dom?”
A dungeon monitor stepped up beside him. “What’s going on?”
Simon didn’t know how to answer. Dammit all, this was a mess. He ran a hand through his hair. “You take care of that one.” He pointed at Anna Beth. “She disrupted my scene and harassed my sub. See to it that she’s punished appropriately. I’ll take care of my sub.”
My sub. Fuck. The truth was, she wasn’t his sub. She was a liar who had played him. Without talking, he stepped around the cross and jerked the mask off Faye. Faye who was really Lynne. She pleaded with tear-filled eyes, but they didn’t move him. All he felt was anger.
“I don’t know what kind of game you think you’re playing, but I’m going to get you down and then we’re going to the room, where we’re going to talk.” He cupped her chin, hard. “You can talk, can’t you?”
“Yes, Sir,” she replied miserably.
He unbuckled her, his movements nowhere near as gentle as he’d been when he’d bound her. She sniffled the entire time, but if she thought he was going to fall apart because of a few tears, she was sorely mistaken.
As soon as she was freed, she fell to his feet. “I’m sorry, Sir. I was going to tell you tonight. I promise. I just wanted to do the practice. To prove—”
“Quiet. I didn’t give you permission to speak. And stand up. You look ridiculous.”
She sniffled again and stood up, reaching for her clothes. Simon snatched them before she could get them.
“Wrong. You don’t deserve clothes.” He nodded toward the door, dismayed by the number of people watching the train wreck his practice session had become. “Go.”
“I get that you don’t want me. I’m so sorry. I’ll leave—”
He struck her backside once.
“Ow.”
“I don’t recall giving you permission to talk.” He pushed her out the door and into the hall.
“I know, Sir. It’s just—”
“Lynne?”
“Yes, Sir?”
“Shut the fuck up,” he said, and then instantly regretted doing so. If they were going to have a serious discussion, he needed to prove that he had his temper under control. Yes, he was mad as hell at having been played, but he needed to be in control of his emotions.
He forced himself to take deep breaths, and by the time they made it to the room, he felt calmer. Granted, he was still angry, but all things considered, he was in a much better place.
He pointed to the middle of the floor. “Kneel.”
Lynne’s head was bowed. She hadn’t looked at him since they’d left the practice room. He would let her escape his stare for now.
“Tell me what the hell you were thinking, pretending to be someone else,” he said.
Her face flushed. “I wanted to get back into the lifestyle, so I went online. I saw you and I wanted . . .” She took a deep breath. “I wanted to prove to you that I was submissive, Sir. That I could be what you need.”
“You think I need a liar?”
She winced as though he’d struck her. It didn’t make him happy and it didn’t make him proud. Yes, he identified as a sadist, but any pain he dealt out had to be mutually agreed upon.
“You might,” she said. “You did play with Anna Beth, Sir.”
She had him there.
“True, but I stopped as soon as I saw her for what she is.” Her shoulders slumped at his words. “What you’ve done is played me, acting like a spoiled child who would do anything to get what she wants, no matter the cost. Trust is one of the cornerstones of BDSM. How did you expect to have any sort of relationship when everything between us is built on a lie?”
She lifted her head at that. “I didn’t plan on having a relationship. I just wanted to prove myself.”
“Which you failed at, because, again, lies and untrustworthiness mean there was no partnership here.”
“I’ll just get my things and go.” She made a move to stand up.
“Don’t move,” he said. His voice must have been menacing enough because she dropped back to her knees. “You aren’t going anywhere because I agreed to do the single-tail demo tomorrow and I’m in need of a sub.”
“I’m sure there are plenty of submissives here who would jump at the chance to do the demo with you.”
“Probably.” He nodded, not missing the flash of jealousy that crossed her face. “But not one of them signed up to do the demo with me, I haven’t practiced with any of them, and outside of Anna Beth, I don’t know of any of them in need of correction.”
He watched as understanding crossed her face. “I didn’t think you were demoing the single tail as a punishment, Sir.”
“Semantics.”
“I could just leave, you know. You can’t keep me here against my will.”
“Of course not.” That she would think he would do something without her consent rekindled his rage. She was trying to goad him, and she would learn real quick that he didn’t play those sorts of games. “You’re free to leave anytime you want. But you’re the one going on and on about how submissive you are. Here’s a chance to back it up with more than words. Stay and face the consequences of your actions. Or leave and prove that I was right about you the first time.”