CHAPTER FORTY Maren 
You left without saying a word,” I blurted, and immediately cursed myself for doing so.
“Maren—”
“You ran off with a stranger,” I cut her off. “You could have been anywhere. Anything could have happened to you. How could you do that to me?”
Kaia inhaled sharply. “I left because I felt I had to. King Idai gave me a horse, and I rode for Ruzi. I was able to convince some of the Aurati to return with me. We used the Talons’ oils to start bonfires in the city—to confuse the dragons during the battle.”
The Talons’ oils…? It came to me suddenly—she was talking about the oils we had confiscated from the Talons and brought with us to Irrad. She had taken them with her when she left our camp, and I hadn’t even noticed. That was what I had smelled, flying high above the city.
It had been a good plan. Maybe even an important one, though I didn’t know if I would ever be able to trust an Aurat the way she seemed to. But it still didn’t excuse her actions.
“But you still left me,” I said. “I didn’t know you intended to come back. How could I have known?”
“I only left because you didn’t listen to me,” Kaia said. “But I’m back now. And I’ve been told that the emperor is dead. So you’ve done it—you’ve freed the dragons; you’ve done what you set out to do. We can be together now, turn to the future.”
She reached for me, and almost without realizing what I was doing, I shook my head. “No.”
Kaia recoiled in surprise. “What?”
My heart was beating so, so fast. I knew that what I was about to say was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. “I know we fought. Maybe it was mostly my fault. But you broke my heart when you left me. And… I don’t think I can move past that.”
“What are you saying?” she whispered, looking stricken.
Now that I had started, I couldn’t stop. “Kaia, I care about you. I’ll always care for you. But we are different people than we were before we left Ilvera. We want different things. You want to reform the Aurati—and I know not all of them are evil, but I can’t go along with that. What they did to you is too painful for me to forgive, even if you can. And you want recognition—you want people to know your greatness. I know your greatness. But that’s not enough for you. I don’t—” I paused and took a deep breath. “You told me to make a choice. Kaia… it’s not you.”
Anger flared in her eyes. “Is it him? The prince?” she asked, her voice deadly calm.
I shook my head. “It’s not because of him. It’s because of me. We’ve grown apart—you must feel it too. Kaia, I’m so sorry.”
As the apology left my lips, Kaia’s face crumpled with tears. She turned and ran from me without another word, and my heart shattered into pieces.
The broken pieces of my heart splintered even further as I watched her go.
“There you are,” Sev said, leaning out of a nearby doorway.
I started. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been standing here with Tasia, watching the empty hallway down which Kaia had fled. My sorrow had turned time slippery and evasive. I swallowed, blinking away tears.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“Kaia was here,” I said miserably.
Indecision crossed his face. “Do you want to be alone?”
I thought for a moment, then shook my head. “Maybe away from surprises for a little while. Not away from you.”
He smiled, and that smile was like sunshine. “Come with me,” he said, almost shyly.
He led us away from the great hall and the gardens to a little-trafficked corridor and a nondescript door, which he shouldered open.
“Welcome to my chambers,” he said. “This is where they put me when the emperor… when I was pretending to be loyal. It’s where I dreamed about you.”
He drew aside a curtain to reveal a bed pushed against the wall. Then he sat down and patted the space next to him. “Come, sit. Tell me—what’s happened since I saw you last? We’ve scarcely had a chance to exchange one word alone.”
I sat, and Tasia jumped up beside us. Gods, it was good to see his face. I still couldn’t believe that this was real. I shook my head, looking up at the ceiling. “So much. It would take forever to tell you everything.”
He gestured around the room. “I don’t see anything else that needs attending to.”
And he was right. The world had shrunk to this room, to Sev sitting at my side, to our hands clasped, to Tasia snuggled between our bodies.
So I told him everything I had done and everything I had seen, and he did the same, our conversation ebbing and flowing like a gentle stream. And when we were done, we lay back on the bed, holding hands, and waited for the world to start turning once more.