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I was feeling anxious after getting off the phone with my Aunt Meryl the next day. I was already registered for school, but she called to let me know she got my books for me. I was very grateful and promised I would pay her back, but she insisted she help me with it. The good news was that the diner was doing incredibly well, and I was very happy about that. Austin had spent some time with Meryl over the summer to finalize the deal, and she was very pleased with everything he had done for her.
The bad news was my Uncle Scott was having health issues, so Meryl was unable to spend the same amount of time at the diner like she used to. She had to hire a bookkeeper to take on some of the workload so she could get Scott to his doctor’s appointments. I offered to help as much as I could, and surprisingly, she did take me up on a few minor things.
I had still been visiting my family on a regular basis, usually on Wednesdays. Austin came with me most of the time, and he and my Grandpa Kent had formed quite the friendship. Gramps loved Austin, and he especially loved listening to Austin’s racing stories. I tolerated the stories only because I liked hearing them have such a good time together. My grandfather had always told me to stop being so pissy about going to the races, and once he said that in front of Austin, my boyfriend had a good time using the same line on occasion.
When I paid for my fall classes, it was bittersweet. Austin was with me, and even though I knew what my schedule was going to be since I’d already scouted my classes online, I had such a dreary feeling about it. It was almost like my vacation was ending, and it was back to the grind again.
I also didn’t like my schedule since it clashed with my current wants and desires. I had classes on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays. My time on the ranch had been limited.
And then there was the issue of Austin’s racing. He still wanted me to attend his races, and I had agreed to put his last three on my calendar: Spokane in September, Roseville in October, and Phoenix in November. The All-Star Showdown he was shooting for was in January, and although that seemed so far away, Austin talked about it like it was just around the corner.
I was just barely getting all the racing series straight and what meant what, but I did understand what the Sprint Cup and Nationwide series were. That level of racing was Austin’s goal, and I knew he wasn’t going to stop until he made it there. Shit, even if he did make it to the top, I wasn’t sure he’d ever quit.
That made me anxious. I loved seeing Austin so happy, but racing was what did that for him. I wished it was something else, like golf or even baseball, but those things didn’t give my boyfriend the rush he looked forward to every week. He loved things like snowboarding and surfing, but nothing gave him the feeling he got from racing cars. Motocross was a close second, as was skydiving and hang gliding, but he lived for racing and I knew it was always going to be in his blood.
Yes, I was madly in love with an adrenaline junkie.
The week I returned to school felt strange. My schedule was spread out, therefore, it kept me away from the ranch. I spent more hours at the diner again, and Austin made the effort to come see me, but everything felt off.
That Friday evening, I flew to Spokane, Washington for his next race. It wasn’t so much the race I was excited for like Austin was, but just that time with him was satisfying. Minus the time he spent with his team and at the track, he and I were stuck to each other like glue.
We were back in Bakersfield by noon the next day, and I was content spending the afternoon with his family. It felt like I was home again and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to feel that way or not. I’d gotten comfortable at Harmony Acres, and I finally understood what Austin meant about feeling like he was on vacation whenever he came home. It really was that type of atmosphere.
I especially missed all the horses, and I had to make my rounds to say hello to everyone. I’d only been away for a week, but it felt like a month. Born to Be Wild looked great, and even though his leg was still healing, he was hobbling around just fine with the cast. He sure let out a long, loud whinny when I said, “Hey there, Wild Thing,” from around the corner.
I also had a few other creatures following me around. Max and Tilly seemed to miss me, as did Goldie and Chap, her pokey pup that Marlo decided to keep.
“You’ve got quite the fan gathering,” I heard a voice say. Ben was entering the barn and held his hands out to the dogs when they greeted him.
“It feels like I’ve been gone for longer than a week,” I admitted.
“Yeah, it kind of feels that way.” He moved to the horse and gave him a pat against the side of his face. “This guy here has really missed you, too,” he said. “I think he’s been driving everyone nuts.”
“What do you mean?”
“He never shuts up. My dad even tried moving him to a different part of the stable to socialize him, but it didn’t help. He’s a big-mouthed pain in the ass.”
“Are you driving everyone crazy?” I asked Born to Be Wild. “You’d better behave or you might get shipped back to Mountain Trails with douchey Greg Jacobs.”
“Greg was actually here the other day.”
“Oh?” I asked with raised eyebrows.
“He wanted the horse back.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry, Dave sent him packing.”
“He signed a contract,” I stated angrily. “What makes him think he can just march in here and demand his horse back?”
“He offered to pay the medical bills and boarding in exchange for the horse.”
I scoffed. “Nice try, but Jack would never allow it.”
“No, he didn’t. He made it clear the owner wasn’t giving him up.”
I cast him a panicked scowl. “The- the what? What owner?”
Ben chuckled. “You. Jack says he’s your horse.”
I took a moment to think that over, and then I smiled. “Really?”
“Around here, his name is ‘Nova’s Loud-Mouthed Horse.’”
Even though I was amused, I replied, “I’ve never had a pet before.”
“Never?”
“Nope.”
He rubbed the horse again. “So, you’re starting small, eh?”
“Ha, I guess so.”
I found a couple of treats for my horse—oh my God, my horse! —and fed them to him. Ben remained quiet, leaning against the stall door. I felt like there was something he wanted to talk about, but maybe he just wanted to chat in general. I decided to ask, “What have you been up to lately?”
He barely shrugged. “Not much, really. Just been helping around the ranch and stuff.”
“Are you employed here again?”
“Oh, no. They wouldn’t hire me here. And I wouldn’t expect them to.”
“So...you just ‘help out?’”
“Well, more of a trade for staying here, I guess.”
I nodded. “What did you do in North Dakota?”
“For a job? A few things. Ran an outdoors store with a couple of guys. Did guided tours and stuff for, like, hiking and mountain biking. Took groups rock climbing and snowboarding. Stuff like that.”
“Ah, adventure sports. You’re another adrenaline junkie, huh?”
“Yeah, me and Austin did all kinds of stuff like that together. That and the cars.”
I studied him curiously. “What do you mean?”
“Well, the racing. We raced together. I thought you knew that.”
“Um, no, that’s something I wasn’t aware of.”
“Oh. Actually, I was the one that got him started on it.”
“Really,” I stated blandly. “I have you to thank for how much I hate it?”
“You hate that he races? Why?” I gave him a look, and he smiled. “Too dangerous for you?”
“It is dangerous.”
“Mm, I suppose. But if he didn’t race, he’d be doing something else that’s dangerous, just for kicks. It’s in his nature.”
I did agree with that but didn’t say so aloud. Even Marlo had stories to share about how bold and daring Austin was as a kid.
“So...how’d you guys get involved in racing?” I asked.
Ben hesitated. “Well, illegally. I take it Austin wasn’t too quick to share that with you, either?”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “What do you mean ‘illegally.’”
“Street racing. I pulled him into it, and even though he liked the racing aspect of it, he had more of a conscience than I did. We made a good chunk of money from it, though.”
“So, Austin decided to stop street racing, and you guys had a falling out?”
Ben teetered his head back and forth, hesitating again. “Well, I bet against him and he was supposed to lose a race, but he didn’t. His competitive side took over, and he wasn’t willing to pull me out of another mess I got myself into. I owed some people a lot of money, and Austin was tired of always having to win me out of my debt. I don’t blame him for that anymore, but at the time, I just kept screwing up and couldn’t seem to get myself together. I was addicted to gambling that way, always betting on some sort of race. If I didn’t do the race myself, Austin was a sure win for me.”
“So, because he wouldn’t lose that one race, and you lost money, you guys weren’t friends anymore?”
He sighed. “I just needed help, but I didn’t know how to get it. Austin came from a financially successful family, and I shoveled manure for a living. I just wanted a different life. A few years after my sister died, I wanted the hell out of here. Everything here reminded me of her, and it just...it hurt to be around it all. I made some bad mistakes, even taking money from his family. It’s not something I’m proud to admit, but I had people I owed money to.”
“If that’s what you’ve been avoiding all these years, then just come clean about—”
“I already have.” He sighed and added, “Before I left this place, I told Dave what I had done, said I just needed to leave town for a while but promised I’d pay him back someday.”
“And have you?”
“Yes.”
“And what about Austin?”
“What about him?”
“The only thing that tore you guys apart was the racing thing? Did he know you’d been stealing from his family?”
“I’m not sure. I thought he would figure it out after a while—my guilty conscience, I guess, but especially when I would magically produce the money I owed people. But he never actually said anything about it, so I’m not sure if his dad told him or not.”
“He somehow knows about it now.”
Ben barely nodded, not surprised.
“And about the meds in Jack’s office.”
His face darkened. “I wasn’t into drugs,” he clarified. “But I did sell them to people, which I know isn’t any better. Mainly I traded the Ace as payment for what I owed a couple of the guys.”
“You sold horse tranquilizers on the street?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I know, pretty bad.”
“Yeah, that’s...”
I could tell judging him wasn’t what he needed at that moment, so I chose not to continue with my thoughts. I was more curious about his relationship with Austin, because I still didn’t understand it fully.
“I’d really like to know why you think Austin gave up on you. I mean...obviously you see how you guys drifted apart, right? Why are you so angry about that when you were the one at fault?”
“I open up to you and take accountability for my end of it, and it’s automatically all my fault?”
“Then set me straight. What am I missing? You were the one who got into debt, but you feel that Austin let you down because...?”
“Because all he had to do was race one last race to win my car back, and he wouldn’t do it. I just wanted my car back to be done with it all.”
“So maybe he didn’t believe you were actually serious. Maybe you’d fed him that line before, and maybe he didn’t want to get burned by you another time.”
His face clouded again. I’d obviously struck a nerve. “So, are we back to the shrink thing, or is this information you actually know?”
“I really don’t know anything about the two of you because Austin won’t talk about it. He’s mentioned you guys have done some crazy things in the past, but mainly he just says he can’t trust you anymore.”
“Hmph, likewise.”
“Why don’t you just try talking to him sometime?”
“Oh, that’s a great idea,” he smiled cynically. “Is he home? I’ll just, you know, go hit him up with conversation quick,” he said, pretending like he was heading over to the house. He scoffed. “You really think Austin would give me the time of day? Don’t be naïve. He’s not gonna want to mingle with someone with my reputation and I don’t blame him. He’s in the racing circuit, where he wants to be. He won’t take a risk on me again, and I don’t expect him to. The only thing I wish is for him to not treat me like I’m still that same guy...”
He might have continued, but he stopped when Dave appeared, looking us both over. However, he only made mention of Born to Be Wild and how well he was healing, and then gave me the news that I should take ownership of the horse.
“I would love that,” I replied. “Thank you so much.”
“It was actually Jack’s idea. He’s got the horse’s papers for you in his office whenever you want to grab them.”
I was ecstatic, and expressed my gratitude again. After discussing a few more details, Dave turned to Ben. “I’ve got two horses to load if you can give me a hand.”
“Sure.” Ben nodded. Dave left for the stalls, so Ben turned to me and said, “I guess I’ll see you one of these days, huh?”
“Weekends.”
“Every weekend?”
“Yep, except for Austin’s last two races.”
“Well...see you around.” He walked away.