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“Hey, Austin,” I said excitedly after answering my phone. I was just leaving the college campus to head north to Bakersfield. His call caught me by surprise but thrilled me at the same time.
“Hey, how are you?”
It was so good to hear his voice. “I’m doing fine. Just getting on the 405 from school.”
“Oh. How’d class go?”
“Mm, okay I guess. Just got a ninety-six on a test.”
“Cool. Nice job.”
“Thanks. What are you up to?”
“Oh, just relaxing for the day. I have an event with the team in a few hours, and then I’ll probably go to bed early tonight.”
“Oh. You don’t have a race until Sunday, right? Maybe you can come home for a couple of days.”
“Ah, wish I could, but I’ll be in Dallas by Thursday. I have tons of stuff to do before race day on Sunday. But I was calling because... Well, I was wondering if you’d be able to come, also—to Texas. I’ll make the arrangements if you say yes.”
I was speechless. He wanted to see me. He missed me. My automatic answer was yes but I knew I also had commitments for the weekend, as well.
But it was Austin.
I sighed. “I really want to, but I have a couple of surgeries I’m doing on Saturday.”
“Well, what about that night? Can you fly out on Saturday night?”
I considered it. “I really want to, but I’ll have to see what’s going on this weekend, and then I’ll let you know.”
He paused briefly, and then said, “Oh, okay.”
“I really want to see you,” I admitted. “I miss you.” I knew it was bold to open up like that, but it was a hard thing to keep inside. I wanted him to know how I felt.
“I miss you, too.”
I gave myself time to internalize his response. It felt good to hear, but I feared it was generic. Then again, he was the one who’d called.
Finally, I asked, “When do you think you can come back to California for a while?”
“Um, in November?” He chuckled.
“Oh, after the season?”
“Yeah, pretty much. I’ll be back at Fontana in October, but I really don’t have a big chunk of time off until the holidays.”
“Oh.”
“So...will you call me after you talk to Jack? I probably shouldn’t let you talk on the phone while you’re driving.”
“Sure, yeah, I’ll call you in a couple of hours then.”
“All right, I’ll talk to you then. I love you, Nova.”
That made my heart beat extra heavy, and I quietly replied, “I love you too, Austin.”
I drove in silence for several minutes. My hope had always been that Austin would reconsider our relationship after missing me for a while, but I tried not to think about being disappointed if that’s not what he had in mind. At least he made the effort and called, right?
I got to the ranch around three that Thursday afternoon. Jack was gone on a house call, but he had a few notes for me sitting on his desk, and I began with his requests right away. He strolled into the office by five with a stupid smile on his face.
“Where have you been?” I asked curiously. He only grinned, and it made me ask, “At the Langley ranch?”
“Yep.”
“Ew, Jack. I hope that wasn’t the ‘house call’ you were referring to in your note.”
He rolled his eyes but sat down at the counter with another smile. “Well, you can’t call me a pussy anymore,” he said. “I finally did it. I asked her out.”
“Really?” I grinned. “That’s great. I mean, you didn’t have to bribe her with free vet services, right?” He scoffed but I added, “I’m sorry, I’m just teasing. I’m really excited for you.”
“Really? You don’t think I’ll screw it up like everyone else thinks I will?”
“Nah, you’re a charming man, Jack. You’ll do just fine.”
“Really?”
“Definitely. I know she likes you, so I think—”
“No, I’m charming?”
I stopped what I was doing and studied him for a second. At first, I thought he was joking, but he seemed serious.
“Yes, of course you are. If you were ten years younger, I’d date you.” I wasn’t sure if that was appropriate to say to my boss, even if he was a chill guy.
“Ten years younger, huh?” he considered. “Why ten years? I mean, what’s wrong with our age difference?”
I studied him again. “The age difference between you and me? Well, you’re...thirty-something. Thirty-seven? You’re fourteen years older than me.”
“Oh, is that in the rule book or something?”
“The rule book?”
“I don’t know, the dating rule book?”
“How would I know?”
“Then how do you figure fourteen years is too much? If I were sixty-five and you were fifty-one...would that be a big deal?”
“No, I guess not.”
“But twenty-three and thirty-seven are a no-go, huh?”
I blinked, unsure where the conversation was going. He was just playing around with me, right? “I guess there are no rules. Well, except for the legal ones.”
“But in your opinion, I’m datable material?”
“Absolutely.”
“But you wouldn’t date me because I’m too old for you.”
“Well, technically—if we are literally talking about you and me, and not people in general—I wouldn’t date you because you’re my boss.”
As soon as I said it, I knew what was coming next.
“Hmm, ironic,” he stated.
I sighed, feeling a bit annoyed. “Austin is a different case,” I clarified. “We were already...kind of into each other. If I had been hired here and didn’t know him already, I wouldn’t have crossed that line.”
“Hmm,” was all Jack replied.
I pulled up a stool and sat at the counter across from him. “What’s going on, Jack? Now you seem mad at me.”
He sat there in silence while he seemed to consider it. “Well, now that you mention Austin, I guess I am.”
“Okay,” I replied slowly. “Can you explain that?”
He sighed. “I get sick of being put in the middle of this.”
“Being put in the middle of what?”
“The two of you. I didn’t have a problem with it before. Yeah, I love Austin like he’s my own—or like my nephew, or a little brother—but these last few months of your personal lives has really annoyed me.”
I took a moment to consider an answer, and slowly nodded my head. “Okay, so the drama is finally a little too much.”
“Basically.”
“I’m sorry, Jack. I don’t know what to say. If I’m putting my personal life ahead of my job, then I really don’t deserve your slack, okay? Just treat me like any other employee and—”
“It’s not you, Nova. It’s Austin.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What do you mean? He doesn’t even work here right now.”
“Tell him that. I’m supposed to take orders from him when he’s what? –Twenty-five hundred miles away?”
“What are you talking about?”
“He’s got some plans for you this weekend?”
My shoulders dropped, along with my confidence. “He called you directly?”
“Yep.”
“And wanted you to make sure I was freed up?”
“Yep.”
I sighed. “I’m sorry. I told him I would see what was going on first, and then I’d call him with an answer.”
He studied me carefully. “You really want to drop everything for the weekend to see him race? Just because he asked you to? No, just because he requested it of you?”
I wasn’t entirely sure of what he was getting at, so I didn’t respond.
“Because Nova...” He didn’t finish the sentence.
“I don’t understand why you think that’s a bad thing. No, of course I’m not going to go since it’s obviously a problem, but why do I get the feeling you don’t approve of my desire to go.”
“I guess I don’t.”
“Why? Austin and I were together for ten months and... Well, even though we’re taking a break right now, we’re still really close, Jack. He’s still my best friend. I still love him, and I’m still going to wait for him to make up his mind.”
“Oh,” he replied dryly. “I kind of thought he did make up his mind.”
Ouch. That hurt. But he was right. Austin chose racing.
“Okay, I’m still going to wait for him to change his mind.”
“Oh, I see.” Jack nodded, as if he suddenly understood. “So, in the meantime, while he’s enjoying his freedom and fun times, you’re just going to...wait.”
“Why don’t you just tell me how you really feel,” I retorted angrily.
“Okay. I think you’re wasting your time. I think he’s got you wrapped around his finger, where he wants you to be when he’s ready for you. And you’re letting him control your life.”