The social circle of a Ghanaian is dominated by his or her extended family. Friendships are also made through living in the same town, going to the same school, working together, attending the same church or mosque, or sharing the same sporting or political affiliation. Home visits between friends are common, although it is more likely that friends will “bump into each other” outside. Social gatherings such as funerals and weddings are also regular meeting places where one can catch up with friends. Friends or family of existing friends are regularly added to one’s social circle.
In the friendliest country on the planet, making friends is unavoidable. Social interaction, communality, and friendship are fundamental principles guiding Ghanaians’ lives, and this helps to create a culture of warmth, safety, and peace. Loneliness or suffering in silence are unheard of to Ghanaians. From the day he or she is born, a Ghanaian is part of a family, clan, tribe, and nation who all have a responsibility for each other. Everybody knows their neighbors and the atmosphere is truly societal. Even outside the huge extended family, Ghanaians will open their arms in friendship to other human beings, in the knowledge that such a gesture will be reciprocated. The expression “If you do good, you do it for yourself” is a guiding tenet.
The workplace, place of worship, market, neighborhood, sports club, local bar, and the like will be brimming with locals wanting to associate with a foreign face. The issue is often not how to meet people, but how to find time to fit in all the people who want to meet you!
For a visitor who really wants to understand Ghana, know how to behave, and minimize hassles, a good friend is essential. Many organizations that send workers to Ghana arrange beforehand for a colleague, respected in the community, to act as guide, point of inquiry, and friend. If this is not done on your behalf, see if you can find one yourself. Ideally, this person should be of the same sex, employed, with a family, and not somebody who is always at the center of the town gossip. Ghanaians judge a person by who he is “walking with,” and keeping bad company with drinkers, womanizers, or those unwilling to work, for example, will easily get you tarred with the same brush.
White or Asian foreigners are of course highly identifiable in Ghana. Black foreigners may feel a little less conspicuous, but non-Ghanaians are quickly picked out by their behavior and appearance, even before uttering a word in an American or Caribbean accent. Your new appellation (the local term for “foreigner”) will be obroni in Twi, yovo in Ewe, or brofonyo in Ga. Many foreigners get fed up with the constant shouts of “Obroni!” but Ghanaians do not, as is sometimes claimed, intend any racist insinuations by this.
If you are visiting Ghana, you will soon be drawn into the culture of hospitality. Be prepared for quite brazen approaches by strangers and to be told, “I like/love you” or “I want to take you as my friend.” Taxi drivers, people in the street, colleagues, and fellow drinkers in a bar can all be your “very good friend” after one brief meeting. The same applies when you introduce yourself to Ghanaians. A Ghanaian will never be too busy to talk, help, or give directions, and will never have so many friends already that he can’t squeeze you in as well.
Despite the huge numbers of expatriates and tourists in Ghana, foreigners are still a tiny minority. Especially in the villages, the sight of a white person can still have the local children launching into song and following you around chanting “Obroni kokoo maakye, yaa fikyere gongon!” (“White man good morning,” followed by a nonsense phrase) and touching your funny-colored skin, or running away in tears because they think you’re a ghost. Even in the capital, where you can find whole bars or hotels full of tourists, you will still find yourself something of a novelty whom Ghanaians would love to get to know.
It is good to treat all approaches by Ghanaians as pure friendliness, as most are. However, the sad fact remains that Africa is poor and the West is rich, and, as a Westerner, you will be seen as having many more opportunities and much more money than a Ghanaian has. Therefore, you may find yourself subject to many requests for money, drinks, or gifts, often from complete strangers. Ghanaians may wonder why you would spend so much time haggling over small prices when you’re so rich anyway. It’s good to be generous, but the generosity of Ghanaians to visitors can be most humbling. If you are the one to invite someone out, you will be expected to pay.
Ghanaians who live abroad (which is known as aborokyire or “inside”) are able to send money and gifts to their family and save for an investment when they return home. For this reason, a visa, especially to the USA or the UK, is a much-sought-after prize. The vast majority of these so-called “been-to’s” or “boggas” (a corruption of “burger,” the food these travelers are exposed to) have no intention of staying overseas for longer than is necessary. To them, Ghana is home, and the weather, food, people, and lifestyle are all better than those they experience when they travel overseas. Their travel is purely for financial reasons. They may have to do two or three jobs and abstain from many pleasures to get the money to send home, but many still seize the opportunity. Before taking a trip to Ghana, it is well worth looking up the Ghanaian community in your hometown for a briefing, and probably a few drinks. After your trip, you are sure to be eager to continue your Ghanaian experience, and they too would love to meet anybody who has been to their country. It is also very interesting to compare the views of aborokyire of those Ghanaians who live there, and those who have never been abroad. Look on www.africanchop.com for your nearest restaurant. A great Web site where you can discuss all aspects of the country with some friendly and knowledgeable Ghanaians (in Ghana and aborokyire) is www.ghanacommunity.com.
For those at home in Ghana who see the money rolling in from abroad, or whose friends return with money for cars and homes, the view of life overseas is usually seen through rose-colored glasses, with no mention of the unfriendly natives, terrible weather, and long working hours. This has encouraged huge numbers of people to look for any avenue to get abroad. Expect to be asked for a letter of invitation, sponsorship, or help with visa applications. It is very useful to have some prepared responses for people with such requests. Photographs and anecdotes showing the more unpleasant side of your country, such as homelessness, unemployment, drug abuse, crime, racism, and antisocial behavior can help to dampen a Ghanaian’s enthusiasm.
That is not to say, though, that foreigners do not regularly help Ghanaians to get to aborokyire, perhaps as a student, a worker, or even a spouse! If you feel someone has the potential to benefit from a stay overseas and you know and respect them and their background, then why not see what you can do to give them the opportunity? They are sure to be very grateful and hardworking.
You will inevitably make some real and lasting friendships in Ghana, having used your common sense to filter out those with purely selfish intentions. You will also find that it is very easy to get to know Ghanaians, but difficult to get to know them well. Visitors can develop hundreds of “acquaintances,” but can struggle to find a true friend with whom they can share personal problems and deep issues.
A popular activity for friends is to go out drinking in the “spots.” Some will invite you to their hometown, house, or church. A good day can be spent market shopping, cooking and eating with a friend, or taking a guided tour on a “tro-tro” (minibus used as public transportation). Ask a friend to come over to your place to give you some language teaching.
One peculiar characteristic of Ghanaians is that they will try to stop you doing anything for yourself. As already stated, colonialism has given rise to the notion that white people are so helpless as to require an entourage of serfs wherever they go to help them perform their daily tasks. Added to this are the Ghanaian values of helpfulness and politeness, making it very difficult for foreigners to carry their own bags, sweep their own houses, or cook their own meals (especially local meals). You may well get tired of hearing “Let me do that for you.”
Much importance is attached to greetings in Ghana. They are another way to show respect to your fellow human being.
If the person you respect respects you, you will respect others.
If you walk into a house, workplace, meeting, or past a friend or neighbor on the street without saying hello, it is viewed as a direct insult. Much time can be spent in greetings before “getting down to business,” and you should adapt to this. If you enter a place and do not greet somebody you know on arrival, they can bear a heavy grudge and often refuse to talk to you until you realize your omission and apologize. When approaching strangers for directions, or shopkeepers to buy something, there is a massive difference between “Good morning. Please, do you sell cigarettes?” and “Please, do you sell cigarettes?”
The general rule is that the person who approaches should be the greeter, so if you are sitting outside your house and a friend walks by, he or she should initiate the greeting. Of course, if you’re walking past dozens of people every minute in central Accra, you’re not going to say hello to them all, but do not forget to greet the people you know. Qualifiers such as brother, bra, sister, auntie, uncle, ofa, my daughter, nana, my friend, honorable, director, boss, or officer are often used when greeting, as well as the person’s name. People love it if you greet them by name. A ubiquitous one is “Charlie,” meaning “my friend.” If your name really is Charlie, then you’re going to think you’re so popular in Ghana! It is not done to greet someone on the way to the toilet.
The benefits of learning the greetings procedure in a local language cannot be overemphasized. It shows respect, and leads to a remarkable level of acceptance from the people. There are so many ways of saying “Hello” and “How are you?” and greetings and responses to greetings lose so much meaning when translated into English. For example, ask an Akan to translate for you “Ayikoo!” and “Yaa yie!” “Ayikoo” translates roughly enough as “Well done,” or sometimes “Welcome back from work,” but “Yaa yie” can only be given the ungainly translations “Response to ‘Ayikoo’ ” or “Thank you for telling me ‘well done.’ ” Another major difference in Ghanaian greetings is that your response depends upon who is greeting you. This incorporates the values of brotherhood and respect for seniors. Thus the English response of “Good morning!” does not allow room for the more meaningful vernacular, along the lines of “I respond to you, my sister / my partner / my male elder / my female elder.” The Ghanaian English response to “Good morning” is “Fine morning.” When somebody is leaving, a common valediction is “Nante yie, wo ne Nyame ko” (Farewell, God be with you).
One’s right hand feels ready to fall off from all the vigorous handshaking done by Ghanaians. A handshake in Ghana is much more than the brief, limp, token gesture we are used to in England and the USA. Both men and women do a lot of handshaking, although a “man-to-man” handshake is by far the more forceful. People may shake hands several times during the course of a short conversation, or indeed remain attached for the duration. Give a firm handshake, then slide down the hand until both parties are holding the other’s middle finger between their middle finger and thumb, and end with a finger click. This may be repeated more than once. Also common is switching several times from the classic handgrip to the “thumbs-up” style and back again. If a member of the opposite sex uses their middle finger to tickle your palm while handshaking, then lucky you! To show some Rasta love, the fist-to-fist, fist-to-heart greeting is used.
When shaking hands with more than one person, you should always start from your right and move left, so that your palm, and not the back of your hand, is facing toward the next recipient. Even if you meet your very best friend walking with a complete stranger on his left, you would greet the stranger before moving to your friend. If you go to shake hands with someone who is eating or has dirty hands, they will tuck away their hand and offer you their forearm—just grasp it and give it a cursory shake. Two men walking together holding hands is a common sight and in no way a sign of homosexuality, which is taboo and illegal in Ghana.
You will of course want some photographs with which to remember your stay in Ghana, but try not to cause offence when taking them. There have been cases of tourists having their cameras seized, or even being attacked, for taking photos without permission. The best recommendation, if you want to take someone’s picture, is to strike up a conversation with the person first, perhaps by buying something from them, and then politely asking if you could have a picture to remember them by. They will invariably agree with a smile, but be warned—they will ask for a copy of the picture for themselves! If at all possible, get extra copies of your photos and give them out if you meet the person again. Unless you are going to be very subtle about it, do not just whip out your camera and start snapping away. The other alternative would be to give your camera to a trusted Ghanaian friend with a list of scenes you would like captured on your behalf.
Unless you’ve got plenty of disposable “dash” in your pocket (see this page), do not get caught taking pictures of the airport, government buildings, Independence Arch, soldiers, or police. Avoid being caught taking pictures of the negative side of Ghana, such as people in ragged clothes, slum areas, or beggars: Ghanaians are too proud to allow you to portray this side of their country back home.
Accept a Ghanaian’s invitation to their house, and you will find that one of the most common items in any living room is a photo album for visitors to browse through. This will consist of multiple deadpan photographs of the homeowner and his family, in various locations and types of attire. If you are sitting in your host’s house, it is quite acceptable to pick up this or any other books or newspapers lying on the table. Show some interest by asking who is in the pictures and where they were taken. On the foreigner’s part, one of the most popular items to bring to Ghana is your own photo album of your home, family, and country. Ghanaians will be fascinated to see what schools, houses, transportation, shops, and the weather are like in your birthplace.
Gift giving is cherished in Ghanaian society, irrespective of the monetary value of the gift. “It’s the thought that counts” rings very true. Regardless of the nature of the gift, it is a symbol of peace and friendship. For family and loved ones, gifts are exchanged regularly. It is traditional always to bring a gift home after returning from a journey, typically bread. At parties, gifts will be given and received by guests and hosts alike. Ghanaians will often buy drinks, offer their food, or pay the tro-tro fare for friends they meet.
If you are arriving in Ghana from overseas, expect to be asked, “What did you bring for me?” on more than several occasions. You’ll be hard-pressed to satisfy all 22 million inhabitants, but for friends, or those you’ll be living or working with, try to bring at least a token gift. Clothes and toiletries are great, or mobile phones and MP3 players if you have the means. Presents for children are especially welcomed. Pens, books, sweets, T-shirts, balloons, and sturdy toys are cheap enough and can be shared between many children.
Ghanaian Joke: The Visit
Kojo and Yaw had not seen each other in many years, not since they left Ghana. They met in New York. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Kojo invited Yaw to visit him in his new apartment. “I have a wife and three children and I’d love to have you visit us.” “Great. Where do you live?” “Here’s the address. And there’s plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I’ll let you in.” “Good. But tell me … what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my left, then my right elbow?” “Surely you’re not coming empty-handed?”
Gifts can, of course—and usually do—come in the form of cash. The local equivalent of a cash gift is known as a “dash.” “Dashing” also holds connotations of corruption. Ghanaians themselves regularly give money for funeral donations, weddings, political and sporting support, church collections, stricken friends or relations, beggars, and hungry children. Rich foreigners would be expected to follow suit, especially to say “thank you” to someone who has done something for you. “Blessed be the hand that giveth.”
Most notably on some streets in Accra, the numbers of beggars can be high. Most are cripples, either being led by children or getting about on skateboards or hand-powered bikes and wheelchairs. These people, of course, receive no government welfare and struggle to find employment. Ghanaians periodically give to beggars, but usually just stare straight ahead when they approach the car window with their hand held out. Almsgiving is one of the pillars of Islam. Visitors can create a good impression, and help the needy, by giving something small to beggars, although children who solicit for alms should be ignored in order to discourage the practice. Pass money hand to hand with a smile and a kind word—do not just throw it to them on the floor.
Foreigners will receive a lot of invitations to Ghanaians’ homes. Very often, this will be in their faraway hometown, requiring any number of hours traveling in a tro-tro. You will not have time to accept them all. Inevitably, there will be some inviters with the hidden agenda of wanting to show off their white acquaintance to their family and hoping he or she will pay for all the bus fares and drinks. Use your common sense and others’ advice about which invitations are well-intentioned, endeavor to accept at least some of them, and diplomatically decline the others. This will provide you with the best opportunity to get an insight into Ghanaian culture and family life.
There is a procedure to follow when being received as a guest in someone’s home. The main thing for a foreigner to learn is to hold back with the small talk until this procedure is over. Although there will be some handshaking and chatting when you first arrive, the main event comes once you are sitting with your hosts in the living room.
Take off your shoes before entering only if the person is a chief or notable elder. (Also, remove shoes before entering the sacred ground of mosques, shrines, or the consulting rooms of traditional priests.)
You will be offered water, which will be brought to you by a child or lady of the house on a tray. This is symbolic, and you should at least take a sip, even if you are not thirsty, and return the glass to the tray. The host, and possibly the whole household, will then shake your hand and say, “You are welcome.” Say “Thank you” and, if the person is your senior, make at least a token effort of rising when they shake your hand. You will then be asked how you are and possibly how your family is. Even if you are dying and you have no family, the answer is always “Fine.” The host will then ask of your “mission,” i.e. the purpose of your visit. Then you can start talking. This is also the time for gift giving. If you have brought a gift of alcohol, it will probably be opened on the spot, unless your host has provided some already.
A meal to which one is invited is a delicious meal.
You’re not allowed to leave a Ghanaian’s home without a full belly. A good host will arrange beforehand for your favorite food to be prepared, but whatever you get, be sure to obey the cook’s order of “Eat all!” Not to do so can be taken personally. Don’t be surprised if you are given a table to yourself to eat at, but you will usually eat with your host (if of the same sex). Ghanaians tend not to mix talking with eating. The typically British notion of an “uncomfortable silence,” which has to be filled with some pointless chitchat, doesn’t apply. To be together is enough.
It is rude to seek permission to leave too early, so don’t accept an invitation if you know you have an appointment soon after. When you are finally granted permission to leave, your host will accompany you for part of the way. It is a strong sign of friendship to accompany a guest a long way. It is not unknown to be accompanied all the way back home, so your host then becomes your guest and you accompany him or her back home later. Sometimes the most meaningful and productive conversations can be had during these accompanying periods, rather than in the home itself.
Try to reverse the procedure when you are the one inviting Ghanaians to your own home—which should be reserved for close friends only. For the meal, regardless of how delicious your tuna salad or spaghetti bolognese really are, it is best to pay a Ghanaian lady to do the cooking for you. Otherwise, your guests will probably eat politely, and then go for fufu afterward. And don’t forget to stock up with plenty of bottles of beer and/or spirits.
Ghana is a very sexually liberated country, although this is not immediately noticeable, because of secretiveness and the taboo against being openly affectionate in public. Before (and very often during!) married life, dating is common between Ghanaians. The word used for boyfriend or girlfriend is alomo. A popular alcoholic drink purported to boost a man’s sexual potency before a visit to his girlfriend is Alomo Bitters.
More often than not, it will be the man who initiates a relationship. As well as the many women they meet through work, church, college, neighbors, and so on, Ghanaian men seem to have no qualms about approaching an unknown woman in the street or bar and declaring their love for her. “I love you” has a slightly different connotation from the Western meaning, and is more akin to “I fancy you.” Nonsmoking and moderate-drinking men with nice clothes, cars, and money are the most likely to have their proposals accepted. Meetings tend to be furtive affairs, often in spots (bars), at home, or hotels. “Going out on a date,” for instance to the cinema, a walk on the beach, dinner with friends, or a museum visit, is less common.
Apart from the “scammers” mentioned later, and those who (and whose families) see a Western partner simply as a source of money and a visa, relationships and marriages between Ghanaians and foreigners are commonplace and widely accepted. What is definitely not accepted, however, and what is darkening the perception of foreigners in Ghanaians’ eyes, is the number of tourists seeking homosexual or underage sex. Homosexuality is practiced by only a tiny percentage of Ghanaian men and is well hidden. Lesbianism is also generally viewed with abhorrence, although it is more common, especially the practice known as supi, which is apparently going on up and down the country in the dormitories of girls’ schools. The serious problem of Ghanaian men’s enjoyment of younger women is humorously addressed in Mzbel’s hit song “16 Years.” (The legal age for sex is eighteen.)