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CHRISSIE
I receive a Facebook Event Invitation from Anne, and I accept.
The Saturday before school starts again, my dad drives me to the Country Estate. Anne sent me the access code, so when we arrive at the access gates, I enter it and then we drive in.
My dad looks around appreciatively and says, “Wow, impressive.”
I smile. “Even if our house is half the size of these, I would much rather live in our house. The house I was in the other day was so cold and impersonal.”
“Still,” he muses. “Very impressive.”
We stop in front of Anne’s house, and I look to confirm if the address she gave me, and this house corresponds to each other – imagine how embarrassing it would be to knock on the wrong door in this neighbourhood.
My dad waits for me while I walk to the front door, and then as I ring the bell.
Anne opens the door, laughing excitedly, saying, “Chrissie. Hi. Come in.”
I turn to wave at my dad. He waves and then he pulls away from the curb carefully.
We go up to Anne’s room, and walking through her house, it has a warmer feeling than that of Shaun’s, although it is still grand and daunting.
Anne babbles non-stop because she is so excited. Shaun will also be attending the picnic, together with the entire Christian Academy student body via a Facebook invitation, and according to the millions of messages I have received from her during the last week, and she is madly, deeply, truly in love.
She cannot stand still, and after almost a million outfit changes, I hear someone calling Anne from downstairs.
When we eventually get downstairs, Anne introduces me to her brother, Justin.
Justin looks at me appraisingly, and then he asks Anne if she is ready to leave.
We drive with Justin to the Francis Marion Nature Reserve. Anne is riding shotgun, and I sit at the back looking at the passing scenery. Anne has calmed down a little and I hear her softly lip sinking with Katy Perry on her brother’s stereo.
We finally stop at a picnic area nestled between the trees and I notice there are already hordes of people. Anne and I get out of Justin’s car and then we walk to the group of people we know, while Justin walks to his girlfriend.
I notice Shaun and Johnathan immediately. Anne smiles excited as we walk toward them, but then Shaun turns around and walks away from us, with Johnathan following him.
Anne’s face drops instantaneously, the glitter in her eyes now from tears rather than from joy.
Johnathan looks back at us apologetic, and I grimace while I return his gaze.
Anne starts to walk into the dense trees around us and I follow her. We do not speak, and I am not going to insist. She was so excited, and now this. I do not know what is going on, but I walk quietly next to her.
After walking for a while, Anne abruptly sits down on a slight incline and you can see the water from the lake through the trees. I sit down next to her, looking at the sun shimmering off the blue water. The light shafts of the sun are like laser explosions shot from the water and then they bounce off the tree trunks around us. Bright light glimmer around us, as if we are in a fantastical, mystical wood.
Suddenly Anne says softly, her voice quivering, “The night of Shaun’s party, he told me he loved me.” Tears run down her cheeks, and she continues, “I have not seen him since then because they have been away, but we have been texting.”
I turn to her, and frown briefly.
She sighs peeved. “I slept with him on the night of his party and now I am the biggest fool.”
I am just about to say something, not sure what when unexpectedly someone touches my arm. I jump as I turn around, and see Johnathan standing behind me. I see Shaun walk past us, to Anne and I hear him say sorry as he sits down next to Anne.
I reluctantly get up, but I am hesitant to walk away, leaving her there. I am not sure whether she will want me to stay or go.
Johnathan takes my hand and gently he tugs at me to go with him. I decide to leave, and we start walking away. Johnathan starts to talk first, “Shaun has liked Anne since forever, but he always thought she wasn’t interested seeing as they basically grew up together. So then, the night of his party, after a lot of persuasions, Anne admitted she liked him as well. One thing, lead to another and now Shaun isn’t sure he actually does like Anne anymore.”
I gasp insulted. “That’s disgusting – frankly, sometimes I just don’t know...”
He laughs embarrassed, interrupting me, “We aren’t all the same.”
I laugh harshly. “Actually, you and Shaun could have been spawned from the same evil egg.”
He looks insulted, and then he stops unexpectedly and draws me closer to him. He whispers down to me, “I love the way you never hesitate to insult me.”
I look up at him puzzled and I am about to retaliate when he leans down to me and he kisses me.
Although I know I insult him for good reason, and I should shove him away from me, I still lean into him, kissing him back.
Still holding me close, looking down at me, he walks backward until he is up against a tree. He leans against the tree, and then I willingly let him kiss me again.
I hear the birds singing in the distance, and I hear the gurgling of the water in the lake far away. My head feels fuzzy, my heart has wings and there is no air.
Later, Anne touches my shoulder lightly, saying, “We better go back. Justin said he did not want to stay long, and your dad will be picking you up at ten.”
Reluctantly, I move away from Johnathan. I smile shyly as he takes my hand, and then we walk back to the picnic area.
Justin is already looking for us and does not look impressed when he sees Anne walking with Shaun.
The car is silent on the way back to Anne’s home and once we get there, Anne and I go up to her room again.
As soon as she closes her bedroom door behind us, she jumps up and down gleefully. “Shaun asked me out. He said he loves me, and he wants me to be his girlfriend.”
I am excited for her.
We spend the rest of the evening listening to Anne’s vast music collection. We paint our nails and we talk about Shaun and Johnathan.
My dad picks me up at ten, and once I am in bed, I once again reminisce the day. I build wild dreams around Johnathan and me. I dream far-fetched, fanciful dreams.
School again.
I am excited to see Johnathan though, and I see him walking toward me as soon as my dad drops me off.
It turns out he is not walking toward me.
When he gets next to me, and I smile friendly, saying hello, he walks past me, toward Tanya, who arrives just after me.
My heart breaks at that very moment into a trillion tiny splinters. I feel such a darkness descend upon me as I tell myself repeatedly, I should have known this is going to happen.
I meet up with Anne under the oak tree, where she and Shaun are sitting next to each other. I do not want to impose, but I sit down next to her anyway.
During the day, I hear all the rumours regarding Johnathan and Tanya. There are different versions, but they all come down to the same devastating conclusion. When Anne and I left the picnic area, Johnathan and Tanya got back together. They have been on and off for the last two years. I should never have wasted my time with him.
When I do not see him, I convince myself I do not like him in the slightest, but when I see him all that desperate need and love I feel for him comes rushing back. The way he looks at me makes my foolish heart still convince me he does like me.
I have arranged with my dad to collect me from school because I am not sure until what time I will be practising with the band. I am also happy I do not have to walk the long embarrassing mile. I have had enough embarrassment for one day.
When I walk into the Music Centre, the whole band is already there.
Vincent walks to me, smiling welcoming. I stand next to him, and he looks down at me. The way he looks into my eyes makes my knees buckle, and the seriousness of his expression makes my hands tremble. It makes me feel weird, so I look away abruptly and walk to the drummer, pretending this is all along my intention.
Vincent calls out behind me, introducing him, “That’s George, our drummer.” George is white, with dark brown hair. His arms are muscular, and he has that swaggering confidence every drummer has. He does a drum roll and I smile at him.
I turn around and look back at Vincent while he continues the introductions, so I follow his gaze. “Over here we have Dennis, our bass guitarist.” Dennis is also white, his hair dark and slightly curling over his ears. Not the usual hairstyle for The Christian Academy, but I suppose the band gets special treatment – not fair really.
“And then this is Simon, our lead guitarist,” Vincent concludes his introductions. Simon is black and unusually tall and lanky. He smiles at me brilliantly and nods his head in acknowledgement when I say, “Hi.”
Smiling, Vincent adds, as I turn back to him, “You know me, lead singer – everybody already knows who you are.”
I smile self-consciously.
Vincent looks at me for a moment too long and then as if he is mortified, he looks away and offers me a soda from a cooler-bag on the floor—I accept.
He hands me a music sheet with the soda and asks, “Can you read music?”
“Yes,” I reply.
“Good, but maybe you should first listen, and follow on the music sheet. You can fall in from the second chorus.”
Nervously, I follow his instruction and am, honestly shocked when at the end of the song they all praise me, saying I am first-rate.
We practice until five o’clock and then Simon, George, and Dennis leave.
I am about to follow them when Vincent calls me back. He hands me a music sheet and his arm brushes against mine lightly. A quick frown flashes between his eyes, and I pretend I do not notice.
He asks, “Would you mind practising this, for tomorrow?”
“Okay.” I smile up at him friendly.
“Do you want me to go through it with you?”
“Please.” I hesitate. “If you’re not in a hurry.”
He smiles. “No. I’m not in a hurry.”
Vincent sits down behind the piano and then starts to play the music from the music sheet, singing along softly.
I stand next to the piano and as soon as I am able to follow the rhythm of the song, I join in with him.
When the last notes fade away, he looks up at me. “That was exceptionally good. I knew you were the right choice.”
“Thanks,” I reply bashful.
He tells me to sit next to him on the bench in front of the piano, and then he says, “I have just thought of something, maybe we can try it again. What if over here, you sing a little higher, instead of just harmonizing with me.”
“Okay, I can try that.”
He starts playing the music, and I start to get up, but he stops playing and holding onto my arm softly, he says, “No. It’s easier when you sit.”
“Okay.”
I have a lump in my throat. Every now and again, he stops and makes another suggestion, and all I can say is, "Okay," each time. He must think I am incapable of forming full sentences, but sitting here next to him, I foolishly am. I lose track of time and when my phone starts ringing, I recognize my dad’s number. I stand up quickly, suddenly feeling like I did when I was six years old and I was caught doing something naughty. My dad will know what I am up to and he will be incredibly angry with me. “I have to go, my dad is here to pick me up,” I say quickly.
“Okay, see you tomorrow,” he says, and he continues playing the piano, ignoring me.
I feel a little rejected. I did not know what I thought I expected. Did I think he is going to stand up and walk me to the door, suddenly grab me around the waist and kiss me passionately?
I push these thoughts out of my head. Just thinking them makes it feel wrong.
