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VINCENT
After the farewell dance Simon, George, Dennis, and I will be leaving Charleston. Mr. Jackson is taking us to New York, to see if he can expand our exposure state-wide.
Sabrina is with me constantly, and although she is the longest ‘relationship’ I have ever had, I am not sure how I feel about her. She helps me though, with the aching, dull feeling which has become my constant companion, but never will she know what I am carrying around in my heart.
I hardly sleep at night because my mind is full of a thousand thoughts of Chrissie. I look in the mirror each morning, and I wonder if the world sees the same reflection of the person I used to be, when Chrissie was a part of my life, even for the shortest point in time. I see a reflection of my soul, and I know, without a doubt I will never be the same person again.
Chrissie and I live separate lives and although I know I will never let her go, I cannot watch my live crashing to my feet by having a relationship with her.
I wish I could get answers for the questions burning inside of me like fire. I wish I knew the reasons of why things happen the way they do. Maybe then I could forget and move on. I wish life could be the same as it is in stories, where there is always a happy ending. I want to yell up into the sky, ask the world, “Why?”
It feels as if I keep fighting in vain against the unbelief and the hurt inside me. Why is it her parents cannot see me, and likewise why my father cannot see her? Maybe one-day I will know the answers to all my questions, but now, I am in pain – this is my darkest hour. The story of my life is simple; it started when Chrissie walked into my life, and it ended when she left.
