We were in the hall in the Youth Centre rehearsing. I was on tambourine and it was making me so angry. There I was, in the middle of a fantastic heavy-metal band. I could have been the drummer, but instead – I was on heavy-metal tambourine.
And it was all that prick Philip’s fault.
It was like pure, unadulterated hatred and I was thinking, It’s wrong, feeling like this. It means he’s won. Philip has turned me into a hateful little toad just like him. Can you imagine that? Being turned into the thing you hate the most on this earth. That’s what monsters do to you. They don’t eat you – they turn you into one of them.
Then this bloke turned up. I’d never seen him before. We all just stared at him, like, you know, who did he think he was, walking into our rehearsal without even knocking.
‘Rob Crier?’ he asked.
‘What?’ I said. I thought it was trouble.
He nodded behind him. ‘Delivery for you.’
‘It can’t be me.’
‘It’s for you all right. Out here.’ The guy turned and went out, and we all trooped after him.
Get this.
There’s a van backed up close to the door.
There’s Chris standing next to the van.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked.
The other bloke flung open the van doors and Chris goes, ‘Da da!’
It was the drums.
‘They’re yours,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘They’re yours!’
‘What?’ I just stood there and stared. It wasn’t sinking in.
‘You talked your dad round?’
‘No. I’m giving them to you. Happy birthday.’
‘It’s not my birthday.’
‘Roly, I’m giving you the drums. Do you want them or not?’
I stood there like a complete idiot. Everyone was looking at me waiting to see what I was going to say.
‘Why would you …’ I began, but I had to stop.
‘I don’t need them,’ said Chris. ‘You might as well have them.’
Then Frankie suddenly yelled out, ‘We have drums! We’ve got a drummer! We’re a fucking band!’ And everyone was running about punching the air and hugging each other and shouting like maniacs.
I was so gobsmacked I couldn’t move. I was still just stood there … Frankie went up to Chris and gave him a big hug. He said, ‘Total, total respect, for what you’ve done for Rob and us as well. Total. Total. Respect.’
‘No prob,’ said Chris.
Then all the other lads crowded around him making a fuss, and I still hadn’t said a word. So I walked up and I pushed them out of the way, and I put my arms round him and I hugged him and I hugged him until my voice came back, and then I pulled back and I pointed at the tears that were on my face, and I said, ‘This is the only way I can show you how you’ve made me feel.’ Which was pretty wet, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. I couldn’t talk for a bit again after that, but when my voice came back, I took the biggest breath I ever took in my life and went – ‘YA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!’